Mystery Science Theater 3000 Quotes


Mike Nelson: It's Winston Churchill's mobbed up brother Vito.

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike Nelson: I've never driven with my blood alcohol under 2 before. It's really easy!

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike Nelson: I've never known more about what isn't happening in a movie.

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike Nelson: Look, just cos he's a mutated pile of goo doesn't mean he's dead!

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike Nelson: Look, we've been married for 25 years, at least let me get to 2nd base.

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike Nelson: Man, infants are such babies.

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike Nelson: Man, this film really has it in for anteaters.

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike Nelson: My destiny sucks, it's a swamp.

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike Nelson: My wonderful discovery. Let's kill it.

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike Nelson: New Puffs Plus; with strontium-ninety.

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike Nelson: Now, you see, this is irresponsible. They're encouraging people to go out and drug Kathy Ireland.

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike Nelson: Oh, hey Gyps'. What happened to the zucchini throw pillow things that Mrs. Forrester sent us?
Gypsy: I put them in a safe place.
Mike Nelson: Okay, and where's that?
Gypsy: Some place where you would meet a horrible demise before laying your polluting fingers upon them.
Tom Servo: So you put them in Mike's laundry basket?

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike Nelson: Oh, man! If you can't trust the Devil!

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike Nelson: Okay, hold it. Everyone go up a shirt size.

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike Nelson: Okay, I dropped the canteen and I got lost, right on schedule.
Tom Servo: Ah, next I have to fall, break my ankle, be attacked by coyotes and buried by a bear.

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike Nelson: Only radar knows what the hell is going on.

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike Nelson: So the first plot point involves knitting socks? I think we're in for quite a ride guys.

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike Nelson: Some have described me as an ambulatory mound of suet.

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike Nelson: Starring Bruce Springsteen's little brother Wayne.

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike Nelson: Talk, or there won't be an unpeeled orange in this place.

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike Nelson: Thank goodness for internal genitalia.

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike Nelson: That was a very bad and confusing movie.

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike Nelson: That's not a nose, that's a duplex.

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike Nelson: The chilling sound of cardboard against cardboard.

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike Nelson: The director boldly mixes tedium with un-scariness.

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike Nelson: The doctor dresses like an off-duty Denny's manager.

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike Nelson: The movie lapped itself.

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike Nelson: The movie that dares to graphically depict seeing peacocks and sometimes NOT seeing peacocks.

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike Nelson: The movie that takes the bold step of not including the audience.

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike Nelson: The town that's ALL outskirts.

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000