NCIS Quotes
[Gibbs has entered the room with the hostage-taker.]
Tony: [from outside] I want to speak with Special Agent Gibbs.
Gibbs: Everybody's okay... Boss.
Tony: That's good to hear... Special Agent Gibbs.
Kody: Your agent says he's a negotiator.
Tony: Well, that's right. He's my best man.
Kody: Your best man's a moron for getting caught in here.
Tony: He always had an attitude problem.
[Inside the room, Gibbs smiles. Outside the room, Tony winces.]
Tony: [from outside] I want to speak with Special Agent Gibbs.
Gibbs: Everybody's okay... Boss.
Tony: That's good to hear... Special Agent Gibbs.
Kody: Your agent says he's a negotiator.
Tony: Well, that's right. He's my best man.
Kody: Your best man's a moron for getting caught in here.
Tony: He always had an attitude problem.
[Inside the room, Gibbs smiles. Outside the room, Tony winces.]
TV Show: NCIS
Tony: Just want to let you know that Special Agent Caitlin Todd is out looking for your mom.
Kody: Don't come back until you find her. I... I won't tell you again.
Tony: All right. I'm going.
Marine: How are you going to tell Gibbs the kid's mom is dead?
Tony: I already did. Special Agent Todd is dead.
Kody: Don't come back until you find her. I... I won't tell you again.
Tony: All right. I'm going.
Marine: How are you going to tell Gibbs the kid's mom is dead?
Tony: I already did. Special Agent Todd is dead.
TV Show: NCIS
Lance Corporal Silva: How much trouble am I in?
Gibbs: Trouble? Why would you say that?
Lance Corporal Silva: Four NCIS agents escorting one lance corporal?
Tony: You got it all wrong, Marine. She's Mossad.
Gibbs: Trouble? Why would you say that?
Lance Corporal Silva: Four NCIS agents escorting one lance corporal?
Tony: You got it all wrong, Marine. She's Mossad.
TV Show: NCIS
Tony: Next thing you know, you'll be wearing clogs in bubble baths.
McGee: What is wrong with bubble baths?
McGee: What is wrong with bubble baths?
TV Show: NCIS
Tony: This isn't about orientation. It's about image.
Ziva: So your image is homo-pubic?
Tony: Homo-phobic.
Ziva: So your image is homo-pubic?
Tony: Homo-phobic.
TV Show: NCIS
Cesar Bernal: You can't keep me in here like this!
McGee: No, actually, I can. You see, La Vida Mala has suspected ties to al-Qaeda. So all I have to do is say the word "terrorist" and I can keep you in this room until you grow old and die.
(from observation)
Tony: That... actually was intimidating.
McGee: No, actually, I can. You see, La Vida Mala has suspected ties to al-Qaeda. So all I have to do is say the word "terrorist" and I can keep you in this room until you grow old and die.
(from observation)
Tony: That... actually was intimidating.
TV Show: NCIS
Tony: My name's Anthony. My friends call me Tony which, spelled backwards, is "Y-not."
TV Show: NCIS
Tony: Every time I bring a date home, my neighbor complains about the noise.
Ziva: What... her shouting "no means no!"? Actually I have the same problem.
Tony: Oh, you have surround sound too?
Ziva: No, I'm what you Americans call a 'screamer', yes?
Ziva: What... her shouting "no means no!"? Actually I have the same problem.
Tony: Oh, you have surround sound too?
Ziva: No, I'm what you Americans call a 'screamer', yes?
TV Show: NCIS
Tony: (looking at McGee who is sleeping) Got any superglue, Abs?
(Gibbs walks in and headslaps Tony)
Gibbs: What did I tell you about that. DiNozzo?
Tony: The skin might not grow back.
(Gibbs walks in and headslaps Tony)
Gibbs: What did I tell you about that. DiNozzo?
Tony: The skin might not grow back.
TV Show: NCIS
Gibbs: Looks like they’re putting decoder rings in cereal boxes again. [the team just stares at him] ...What?
Tony: Uh... little before our time, boss.
Tony: Uh... little before our time, boss.
TV Show: NCIS
Tony: [doing Sean Connery impression] He has a license to kill, McGee.
Ziva: He has full diplomatic immunity.
Ziva: He has full diplomatic immunity.
TV Show: NCIS
[Abby is talking with Mrs. Mallard in her lab]
Mrs. Mallard: [smiles] Did you know, that without those longshoreman tattoos, and that dog collar, you are the exact spitting image of my sister Gloria?
Abby: Thank you!
Mrs. Mallard: [frowns] I hated her.
Mrs. Mallard: [smiles] Did you know, that without those longshoreman tattoos, and that dog collar, you are the exact spitting image of my sister Gloria?
Abby: Thank you!
Mrs. Mallard: [frowns] I hated her.
TV Show: NCIS
[While Tony and Ziva are on stakeout, Ziva thinks Tony is asleep behind his sunglasses. Mischievously, she begins to tip her water bottle over his crotch...]
Tony: Do it and die, Amadeus.
Tony: Do it and die, Amadeus.
TV Show: NCIS
McGee: Sounds like a bloodbath.
Tony: Mondays. How many bodies we talkin' about here?
Gibbs: Who said anything about a body, DiNozzo?
Tony: Mondays. How many bodies we talkin' about here?
Gibbs: Who said anything about a body, DiNozzo?
TV Show: NCIS
Palmer: [as he's leaving the scene, and the team is coming in] I'd take an umbrella if you go in there.
TV Show: NCIS
Abby: This is so embarrassing. Okay, in my defense what self-respecting drug dealer cuts his cocaine with potassium cyanide?
McGee: Obviously one that doesn't care about repeat business.
McGee: Obviously one that doesn't care about repeat business.
TV Show: NCIS
Gibbs: Why didn't you come to me Abby?
Abby: Because Gibbs, I wanted him restrained. Not beaten to a pulp with a baseball bat.
Abby: Because Gibbs, I wanted him restrained. Not beaten to a pulp with a baseball bat.
TV Show: NCIS
[Gibbs is visiting Abby's stalker ex-boyfriend, Michael, at his business, Krime Kleaners]
Gibbs: The only reason you're still able to walk is because I never heard about you until today.
Gibbs: The only reason you're still able to walk is because I never heard about you until today.
TV Show: NCIS
Abby: I’m a scientist, and he plays with voodoo dolls.
McGee: Uh, Abby, you play with voodoo dolls.
Abby: I meant metaphorically, McGee. I don’t think they actually do anything. I just play with ‘em, y’know, to relax.
McGee: Uh, Abby, you play with voodoo dolls.
Abby: I meant metaphorically, McGee. I don’t think they actually do anything. I just play with ‘em, y’know, to relax.
TV Show: NCIS
McGee: Bed time. I'll take the sleeping bag.
Abby: We're adults, McGee. We can share the same bed.
McGee: [Seeing Abby playing with his typewriter] If you promise to keep your hands to yourself.
Abby: Clearly, you haven't. Your shirt [Abby is wearing McGee's shirt] smells like J.Lo Glow. Oh, I can't find my toothbrush; I think it fell out in your car.
McGee: That's all right. Your old one's still in my bathroom.
Abby: You kept my old toothbrush? That's a little creepy, McGee. Maybe you should take the sleeping bag.
McGee: What is creepy about it? I just never bothered to throw it out. (Abby brings a toothbrush out of the bathroom) What?
Abby: This is not my toothbrush.
McGee: Well, then I must have bought a second one and forgot about it.
Abby: It's a ladybug toothbrush McGee. It's for cute girls named Gina Marie that bake cookies and wear J.Lo Glow. Not for quasi-manly federal agents who carry a gun.
McGee: Are you going to use it or not?
Abby: An anonymous toothbrush? I'd rather remove my own tonsils with Typhoid Mary's straight razor.
McGee: Where are you going?
Abby: To get my toothbrush.
McGee: No. No, you're not leaving the apartment.
Abby: Why not McGee? We both know Gibbs is just being over-protective.
McGee: I'm not worried about you. I'm worried about me if Gibbs finds out I let you leave.
Abby: That's a really good point. You go.
McGee: I'm not leaving you alone either.
Abby: Fine then I'll just use your toothbrush.
McGee: (grabs his coat) Do not answer the door for anyone. (leaves)
(someone knocks on the door, Abby answers it)<
Abby: We're adults, McGee. We can share the same bed.
McGee: [Seeing Abby playing with his typewriter] If you promise to keep your hands to yourself.
Abby: Clearly, you haven't. Your shirt [Abby is wearing McGee's shirt] smells like J.Lo Glow. Oh, I can't find my toothbrush; I think it fell out in your car.
McGee: That's all right. Your old one's still in my bathroom.
Abby: You kept my old toothbrush? That's a little creepy, McGee. Maybe you should take the sleeping bag.
McGee: What is creepy about it? I just never bothered to throw it out. (Abby brings a toothbrush out of the bathroom) What?
Abby: This is not my toothbrush.
McGee: Well, then I must have bought a second one and forgot about it.
Abby: It's a ladybug toothbrush McGee. It's for cute girls named Gina Marie that bake cookies and wear J.Lo Glow. Not for quasi-manly federal agents who carry a gun.
McGee: Are you going to use it or not?
Abby: An anonymous toothbrush? I'd rather remove my own tonsils with Typhoid Mary's straight razor.
McGee: Where are you going?
Abby: To get my toothbrush.
McGee: No. No, you're not leaving the apartment.
Abby: Why not McGee? We both know Gibbs is just being over-protective.
McGee: I'm not worried about you. I'm worried about me if Gibbs finds out I let you leave.
Abby: That's a really good point. You go.
McGee: I'm not leaving you alone either.
Abby: Fine then I'll just use your toothbrush.
McGee: (grabs his coat) Do not answer the door for anyone. (leaves)
(someone knocks on the door, Abby answers it)<
TV Show: NCIS
Gibbs: Coordinate with Abby.
McGee: Boss, you’re gonna have to try and get her out of the elevator first.
[Gibbs goes to the elevator, where Abby is sitting in the corner holding a stun gun]
Abby: Hey Gibbs. [elevator closes] Did you know that only 5 of the 2½ million deaths each year occur in elevators?
McGee: Boss, you’re gonna have to try and get her out of the elevator first.
[Gibbs goes to the elevator, where Abby is sitting in the corner holding a stun gun]
Abby: Hey Gibbs. [elevator closes] Did you know that only 5 of the 2½ million deaths each year occur in elevators?
TV Show: NCIS
Gibbs: Nobody is going to hurt you, Abby.
Abby: You’re just saying that to make me feel better.
Gibbs: Did it?
Abby: Yeah, can you say it again?
Gibbs: Nobody’s gonna hurt you, Abs.
Abby: You’re just saying that to make me feel better.
Gibbs: Did it?
Abby: Yeah, can you say it again?
Gibbs: Nobody’s gonna hurt you, Abs.
TV Show: NCIS