NCIS Quotes
Tony: [about to send drug kingpins to Gitmo as suspected terrorists] You do not have the right to remain silent. You do not have the right to an attorney. If you want an attorney, you won't get an appointment to see one. Do you understand these rights you don't have?
TV Show: NCIS
Abby: [while watching video of a terrorists van] Are we submitting to the Sundance Film Festival?
Tony: Yeah, best terrorist film category.
Abby: Sweet.
Tony: Yeah, best terrorist film category.
Abby: Sweet.
TV Show: NCIS
Tony: Well that gives you a warm fuzzy feeling doesn't it?
Gerald: What?
Tony: That Gibbs trusts us with a contaminated crime scene.
Gerald: What?
Tony: That Gibbs trusts us with a contaminated crime scene.
TV Show: NCIS
Tony: I feel like I just kissed my sister.
Abby: I didn't know you had a sister Tony.
Tony: I don't. I was fantasizing.
Abby: I need music to do that.
Abby: I didn't know you had a sister Tony.
Tony: I don't. I was fantasizing.
Abby: I need music to do that.
TV Show: NCIS
Tony: No boss, you don't understand. I love Puerto Rico.
Kate: Been there a lot?
Tony: [excited at the beginning...trailing off at the end] No that's just it, I've never been there... I mean I'm so wanting to go. Ever since I was a kid I was just...so wanting...sorry...I just always...
Gibbs: [deadpan] Wanted to be there.
Tony: Yeah.
Kate: Been there a lot?
Tony: [excited at the beginning...trailing off at the end] No that's just it, I've never been there... I mean I'm so wanting to go. Ever since I was a kid I was just...so wanting...sorry...I just always...
Gibbs: [deadpan] Wanted to be there.
Tony: Yeah.
TV Show: NCIS
Ducky: Well if you'll excuse me, I'll get our poor seaman out of his wet clothes.
Tony: You're not going to say, and into a dry Martini, are you?
Tony: You're not going to say, and into a dry Martini, are you?
TV Show: NCIS
Tony: [to Gibbs] When you're a computer geek invading dungeons and fighting ogres, Jethro doesn't cut it. [look from Gibbs] ... Neither does Tony.
TV Show: NCIS
Tony: Aren't you guys interested at all in what I brought you back from Puerto Rico?
Gibbs and Kate: [sighing] Sure. Fine.
[Tony grins and hands them a couple bags, Kate looks in hers]
Kate: You gotta be kidding.
Tony: A bikini. Two-piece.
Kate: A bottom. And a hat??
Tony: Puerto Rican!
Gibbs: Any chance you're going to try that on?
Kate: [tosses it at Gibbs] You first.
Gibbs: [looks over the bikini bottom] Trust me. It's not gonna fit.
Kate: Pigs. I work with pigs.
Tony: [as Gibbs is opening his gift] It's a fantasy RPG book. Complete with character sheets and dice. Baby steps, Gibbs. Baby steps.
Gibbs: It's in Spanish.
Tony: There's just no pleasing you, is there?
Gibbs and Kate: [sighing] Sure. Fine.
[Tony grins and hands them a couple bags, Kate looks in hers]
Kate: You gotta be kidding.
Tony: A bikini. Two-piece.
Kate: A bottom. And a hat??
Tony: Puerto Rican!
Gibbs: Any chance you're going to try that on?
Kate: [tosses it at Gibbs] You first.
Gibbs: [looks over the bikini bottom] Trust me. It's not gonna fit.
Kate: Pigs. I work with pigs.
Tony: [as Gibbs is opening his gift] It's a fantasy RPG book. Complete with character sheets and dice. Baby steps, Gibbs. Baby steps.
Gibbs: It's in Spanish.
Tony: There's just no pleasing you, is there?
TV Show: NCIS
Tony: The golf clubs belonged to his RIO, Lt. Lynch.
Kate: RIO?
Tony: Radar Intercept Officer. Also called a GIBs, one B - short for guy in back.
Kate: [to Gibbs] What do you need two B's for?
Gibbs: Second one's for bastard.
Kate: RIO?
Tony: Radar Intercept Officer. Also called a GIBs, one B - short for guy in back.
Kate: [to Gibbs] What do you need two B's for?
Gibbs: Second one's for bastard.
TV Show: NCIS
Tony: That's kinda touching, Gibbs, remembering the day you hired me.
Gibbs: Yeah, well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Gibbs: Yeah, well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
TV Show: NCIS
Gibbs: If that thing came off an aircraft, someone filed a TFOA report for it.
Kate: TFOA?
Tony: Things fallen off aircraft.
Kate: You're kidding.
Gibbs: Nope. Navy keeps records on that sort of thing, all the way back to biplanes.
Kate: TFOA?
Tony: Things fallen off aircraft.
Kate: You're kidding.
Gibbs: Nope. Navy keeps records on that sort of thing, all the way back to biplanes.
TV Show: NCIS
Ducky: You know post mortem details can be extremely revealing. Remember that case four years ago, where the young Marine was buried in an anthill up to his neck?
Gibbs: Duck. It was eight years ago. [Points to a body in the morgue] How did he die?
Ducky: No, it can't be eight years. No, I know it wasn't! Four years ago your third wife hit you over the head with a baseball bat. I distinctly remember the ant-eaten Marine on that table there when I stitched you up.
Gibbs: Duck. It was eight years ago. [Points to a body in the morgue] How did he die?
Ducky: No, it can't be eight years. No, I know it wasn't! Four years ago your third wife hit you over the head with a baseball bat. I distinctly remember the ant-eaten Marine on that table there when I stitched you up.
TV Show: NCIS
Gibbs: How could she not know?
Randy: We met at Mark's memorial service.
Gibbs: What'd you say? 'I was passing by, dug the music, decided to drop in?'
Randy: We met at Mark's memorial service.
Gibbs: What'd you say? 'I was passing by, dug the music, decided to drop in?'
TV Show: NCIS
Tony: Five years with Gibbs; I'm amazed the guy didn't end up in a strait jacket.
Gibbs: What was that?
Tony: Nothing, boss. Just praising your communication skills.
Gibbs: What was that?
Tony: Nothing, boss. Just praising your communication skills.
TV Show: NCIS
Kate: This...isn't the deck 5 berthing compartment, is it?
Sailor: (while standing at a urinal) No ma'am this is the men's head on deck 6.
Sailor: (while standing at a urinal) No ma'am this is the men's head on deck 6.
TV Show: NCIS
Kate: All I'm saying is that... things on the surface are not always the same as when you put them in context with the way they actually developed, you know, under the surface, kinda.
Tony: I have no idea what you said.
Kate: Neither do I. But the intent was sincere.
Tony: I have no idea what you said.
Kate: Neither do I. But the intent was sincere.
TV Show: NCIS
Gibbs: Above his mattress, below his mattress, inside his mattress. If there’s such a thing as a fourth mattress dimension, go over that too.
TV Show: NCIS
Kate: [after she spills Gibbs' coffee] What do you put in your coffee?
Gibbs: Coffee.
Kate: Okay...I'll...just go down the hall and get you another cup.
Gibbs: That's...not coffee.
[after Gibbs storms out]
Tony: I've never experienced Gibbs without his morning coffee. We're in uncharted waters here, Kate.
Gibbs: Coffee.
Kate: Okay...I'll...just go down the hall and get you another cup.
Gibbs: That's...not coffee.
[after Gibbs storms out]
Tony: I've never experienced Gibbs without his morning coffee. We're in uncharted waters here, Kate.
TV Show: NCIS
Timothy McGee: I've heard stories about Special Agent Gibbs.
Tony: Only half of them are true...the trick is figuring out which half.
Tony: Only half of them are true...the trick is figuring out which half.
TV Show: NCIS
Kate: ....to replace me because I shave my legs and not my face is unconscionable and certainly not in the best interests of the case.
Gibbs: You claustrophobic?
Kate: No.
Gibbs: Good. [walks away]
Kate: I'm going?!
Tony: Don't forget to wax.
Gibbs: You claustrophobic?
Kate: No.
Gibbs: Good. [walks away]
Kate: I'm going?!
Tony: Don't forget to wax.
TV Show: NCIS
[after DiNozzo throws a rock through a window to illegally gain entrance to a house]
McGee: That's breaking and entering.
Tony: No. That was breaking... and this is entering.
McGee: That's breaking and entering.
Tony: No. That was breaking... and this is entering.
TV Show: NCIS
Kate: [after an emergency blow to the surface aboard a submarine] Wow...
Gibbs: Yeah, that's what they all tell me.
Gibbs: Yeah, that's what they all tell me.
TV Show: NCIS
Tony: Listen kid, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but you're not exactly Abby's type.
McGee: I've taken care of that. Remember that urge you were talking about?
Tony: [nods]
McGee: I went with Mom.
Tony: [stands there in shock, realizing McGee just got a tattoo on his butt to impress Abby]
[Later]
Kate: I wonder what he said to make Tony speechless?
Gibbs: He told him he got a tat on his ass.
Kate: [Gapes at the elevator McGee just entered]
McGee: I've taken care of that. Remember that urge you were talking about?
Tony: [nods]
McGee: I went with Mom.
Tony: [stands there in shock, realizing McGee just got a tattoo on his butt to impress Abby]
[Later]
Kate: I wonder what he said to make Tony speechless?
Gibbs: He told him he got a tat on his ass.
Kate: [Gapes at the elevator McGee just entered]
TV Show: NCIS
Tony: Normally I hate priority rides, but who cares if it's going to...
Gibbs: What's wrong with priority rides?
Tony: C'mon boss. You tellin' me you like sitting on canvas seats slung between cargo pallets?
Gibbs: Yeah, it makes me feel like I'm back in the Corps.
[Later]
Tony: [laughs, while on a Gulfstream Aircraft] I love priority rides. Boss, this is the best.
Gibbs: I miss canvas seats.
Gibbs: What's wrong with priority rides?
Tony: C'mon boss. You tellin' me you like sitting on canvas seats slung between cargo pallets?
Gibbs: Yeah, it makes me feel like I'm back in the Corps.
[Later]
Tony: [laughs, while on a Gulfstream Aircraft] I love priority rides. Boss, this is the best.
Gibbs: I miss canvas seats.
TV Show: NCIS