Newhart Quotes
Dick Loudon: [During Founders' Day, Dick has been placed in the stocks] My nose itches. [calling out]
Dick Loudon: Anybody! Stratch my nose! Anybody! OK, 5 bucks! Anybody, scratch my nose for 5 bucks!
Larry: Okay. [Hands Dick $5 and scratches his nose]
Dick Loudon: Okay, anybody else, scratch my nose for 5 bucks!
Dick Loudon: Anybody! Stratch my nose! Anybody! OK, 5 bucks! Anybody, scratch my nose for 5 bucks!
Larry: Okay. [Hands Dick $5 and scratches his nose]
Dick Loudon: Okay, anybody else, scratch my nose for 5 bucks!
TV Show: Newhart
Howard Borden: I was, uh, just decorating my Christmas tree and I was wondering, is there a trick to stringing cranberry sauce?
TV Show: Newhart
[Joanne clearing dishes at tables in Kirk's diner for inmates in transit to prison] Prisoner #1: That was a delicious meal, ma'am.
Joanna loudon: Thank you, I'm glad you liked it. Prisoner #1: If my mother could have cooked like you, I never would have killed her. [Joanne slowly backs away from the table]
Joanna loudon: Thank you, I'm glad you liked it. Prisoner #1: If my mother could have cooked like you, I never would have killed her. [Joanne slowly backs away from the table]
TV Show: Newhart
[Holding back tears]
Stephanie Vanderkellen: I discovered I like bowling. [She starts crying]
Stephanie Vanderkellen: I discovered I like bowling. [She starts crying]
TV Show: Newhart
Dick Loudon: [During Founders' Day, Dick has been placed in the stocks] My nose itches. [calling out]
Dick Loudon: Anybody! Stratch my nose! Anybody! OK, 5 bucks! Anybody, scratch my nose for 5 bucks!
Larry: Okay. [Hands Dick $5 and scratches his nose]
Dick Loudon: Okay, anybody else, scratch my nose for 5 bucks!
TV Show: Newhart
Dick Loudon: Ick.
Joanna Loudon: And what would you say if you weren't a college graduate?
TV Show: Newhart
Dr. Robert Hartley: [final lines, Dick wakes up as Bob from "The Bob Newhart Show"] I just had had the strangest dream. I just dreamt that I was married to a beautiful blonde and we owned an inn that was going to be turned into a golf club.
Emily Hartley: [wakes up, turns the light on] That's it, no more shrimp before bed. [turns light off]
Emily Hartley: [turns light back on, jealous] Beautiful blonde?
TV Show: Newhart
George Utley: Dick, I cleared out that obstruction in the chimney.
Dick Loudon: Thanks George. What was it?
George Utley: I don't know but when I woke it up, it ran away.
TV Show: Newhart
George Utley: Hi, I'm George. This is Larry's brother Darryl, and this is Larry's other brother Darryl.
TV Show: Newhart