NewsRadio Quote
Dave: [reading Bill's letter] "Dear everyone, if Dave is reading this to you, I have either been fired or I have passed away. Since my formidable talent would preclude the former, I'll have to assume that the latter is true. Someone please explain that one to Matthew later."
Matthew: I don't get it.
Joe: I'll explain it to you later.
Dave: Thanks. He continues: "I know this is strange, but I just want to make sure my final wishes are observed. Wish number one—I wish I weren't dead. Jimmy, get your best people on this one, if you would. [Jimmy pulls out his phone.] Ha ha, just kidding. Attached please find envelopes containing personal notes for everyone. Please have them distributed to the appropriate parties. [Matthew takes the notes and passes them out.] Matthew seems like the ablest man for this very challenging task. [Everyone straightens out the mixed-up letters.]
Matthew: Why don't we read them out loud? Beth, you start.
Beth: "Dear Beth, I am sorry about that time I said that your outfit looked like something you fished out of the garbage can after the circus left town." You know, that's really the only thing he ever said that hurt my feelings.
Joe: No, what about that time...
Beth: Please Joe, just let me have a moment, thank you. "I meant it as a compliment, but somehow it came out wrong." That's very sweet.
Joe: "Dear Joe, I'm sorry I intentionally broke the printer by my desk every Monday morning and made you fix it." I knew there was something up with that printer. "I only did it because I enjoyed hearing your voluminous redactions on the prior weekend's sporting events. On more than one occasion, you helped lull me into my mid-morning nap. For that, I am eternally grateful. Kudos. The printer shouldn't give you much trouble anymore." I wonder if he knew how much I enjoyed fixing that printer.
Matthew: I don't get it.
Joe: I'll explain it to you later.
Dave: Thanks. He continues: "I know this is strange, but I just want to make sure my final wishes are observed. Wish number one—I wish I weren't dead. Jimmy, get your best people on this one, if you would. [Jimmy pulls out his phone.] Ha ha, just kidding. Attached please find envelopes containing personal notes for everyone. Please have them distributed to the appropriate parties. [Matthew takes the notes and passes them out.] Matthew seems like the ablest man for this very challenging task. [Everyone straightens out the mixed-up letters.]
Matthew: Why don't we read them out loud? Beth, you start.
Beth: "Dear Beth, I am sorry about that time I said that your outfit looked like something you fished out of the garbage can after the circus left town." You know, that's really the only thing he ever said that hurt my feelings.
Joe: No, what about that time...
Beth: Please Joe, just let me have a moment, thank you. "I meant it as a compliment, but somehow it came out wrong." That's very sweet.
Joe: "Dear Joe, I'm sorry I intentionally broke the printer by my desk every Monday morning and made you fix it." I knew there was something up with that printer. "I only did it because I enjoyed hearing your voluminous redactions on the prior weekend's sporting events. On more than one occasion, you helped lull me into my mid-morning nap. For that, I am eternally grateful. Kudos. The printer shouldn't give you much trouble anymore." I wonder if he knew how much I enjoyed fixing that printer.
TV Show: NewsRadio
