NewsRadio Quotes
Bill: You're not in Wisconsin, Dave. The big story isn't about a cow wandering into the town square.
Dave: Bill, I worked in Milwaukee, you know. It's a city with a population of a million people.
Bill: So that must have been quite a hubbub when that cow got loose!
Dave: Bill, I worked in Milwaukee, you know. It's a city with a population of a million people.
Bill: So that must have been quite a hubbub when that cow got loose!
TV Show: NewsRadio
Catherine: If you ever broadcast my age over the air again I will beat you to death with your own microphone!
Bill: [laughing] You may be 36, but you still have all the spark and sass of a 35 year old!
Bill: [laughing] You may be 36, but you still have all the spark and sass of a 35 year old!
TV Show: NewsRadio
Mr. James: Hey Dave.
Dave: Hey Mr. James.
Mr. James: Something troubling you?
Dave: Yeah.
Mr. James: Work related?
Dave: No.
Mr. James: Girl?
Dave: Yeah.
Mr. James: Lisa?
Dave: Between you and me?
Mr. James: Yes.
Dave: Yes.
Mr. James: Problem?
Dave: Big fight.
Mr. James: Due to?
Dave: Argument.
Mr. James: Issue?
Dave: Temper.
Mr. James: Hers?
Dave: Mine.
Mr. James: Hit her?
Dave: No!
Mr. James: Throw something?
Dave: No.
Mr. James: Call her a name?
Dave: Yes.
Mr. James: What?
Dave: B-word.
Mr. James: Bitch?
Dave: Yes.
Mr. James: Hot dog, now you're talkin'!
Dave: Hey Mr. James.
Mr. James: Something troubling you?
Dave: Yeah.
Mr. James: Work related?
Dave: No.
Mr. James: Girl?
Dave: Yeah.
Mr. James: Lisa?
Dave: Between you and me?
Mr. James: Yes.
Dave: Yes.
Mr. James: Problem?
Dave: Big fight.
Mr. James: Due to?
Dave: Argument.
Mr. James: Issue?
Dave: Temper.
Mr. James: Hers?
Dave: Mine.
Mr. James: Hit her?
Dave: No!
Mr. James: Throw something?
Dave: No.
Mr. James: Call her a name?
Dave: Yes.
Mr. James: What?
Dave: B-word.
Mr. James: Bitch?
Dave: Yes.
Mr. James: Hot dog, now you're talkin'!
TV Show: NewsRadio
[Bill sets up a cubicle around his desk]
Dave: Have you thought about how this will make you co-workers feel?
Bill: Actually, one of the great things about the cubicle is not having to think about my co-workers at all.
Dave: Have you thought about how this will make you co-workers feel?
Bill: Actually, one of the great things about the cubicle is not having to think about my co-workers at all.
TV Show: NewsRadio
Dave: You slept with your therapist? --
Lisa: No!
Dave: Your therapist?
Lisa: No he wasn't my therapist. I would never sleep with my therapist. He was my professor!
Dave: You slept with your professor?!
Lisa: Yeah.
Dave: I mean, isn't that illegal, and disgusting?
Lisa: Illegal? No. Inappropriate? Yes. Disgusting? Mmm...Hardly.
Lisa: No!
Dave: Your therapist?
Lisa: No he wasn't my therapist. I would never sleep with my therapist. He was my professor!
Dave: You slept with your professor?!
Lisa: Yeah.
Dave: I mean, isn't that illegal, and disgusting?
Lisa: Illegal? No. Inappropriate? Yes. Disgusting? Mmm...Hardly.
TV Show: NewsRadio
Dave: She steal your high school sweetheart or something?
Beth: Oh yeah, of course, because whenever two women are fighting it's obviously over a man, because, you know men are all important and women are nothing. Men are great! All hail king man!... But yes, she did steal my high school sweetheart.
Beth: Oh yeah, of course, because whenever two women are fighting it's obviously over a man, because, you know men are all important and women are nothing. Men are great! All hail king man!... But yes, she did steal my high school sweetheart.
TV Show: NewsRadio
[Mr. James puts a heart shaped box in the paper shredder.]
Mr. James: Ahh, shreddin' a heart. If that's not a metaphor for... something, I don't know what is.
Mr. James: Ahh, shreddin' a heart. If that's not a metaphor for... something, I don't know what is.
TV Show: NewsRadio
Bill: What's interesting about radio?
Dave: Well I think it's a fascinating medium.
Bill: You're from Wisconsin. Artificial light is fascinating to you!
Dave: Well I think it's a fascinating medium.
Bill: You're from Wisconsin. Artificial light is fascinating to you!
TV Show: NewsRadio
Lisa: I know you may find this hard to believe, but not everybody spends their whole day thinking about Bill McNeal.
Bill: You're a true source of comfort, Lisa.
Bill: You're a true source of comfort, Lisa.
TV Show: NewsRadio
Lisa: Every Christmas my family sends out this newsletter, you know, and it's all about what my brothers and I have been doing, blah-di-blah blah blah.
Dave: You know my mom does that too.
Lisa: Really? Does your mom have her newsletter professionally typeset with full color photographs by a former art director of Vanity Fair?
Dave: No, my mom cuts out pictures of all the kids faces and pastes them on reindeer bodies... But we like it!
Dave: You know my mom does that too.
Lisa: Really? Does your mom have her newsletter professionally typeset with full color photographs by a former art director of Vanity Fair?
Dave: No, my mom cuts out pictures of all the kids faces and pastes them on reindeer bodies... But we like it!
TV Show: NewsRadio
[Bill arrives at the office with a cane.]
Dave: Hi, Bill...something wrong with your leg?
Bill: Not that I'm aware of, but thanks for asking.
Dave: If there's nothing wrong with your leg, then why the cane?
Bill: The what?
Dave: The cane. Your walking stick.
Bill: Oh, you mean my cane. Picked her up at an antique store over lunch. They say she's over a hundred years old. Hand-carved mahogany with a solid brass tip. What's the matter, Dave? Don't you like my cane?
Dave: Again, Bill, why do you have a cane?
Bill: You like my cane, don't you, Catherine?
Catherine: It's a cane, Bill. Who cares?
Bill: [laughing] You see, it's just like that saying: "Everybody loves a cane."
Dave: No, Bill, I believe the saying is "Everybody loves a clown", which is what you look like with that thing.
Bill: Ahh! You're jealous of her, aren't you?
Dave: No, Bill, I'm not jealous of her. It's just that it's such an obvious affectation, a desperate bid for attention.
Bill: Maybe. Or maybe I just like canes.
Dave: Hi, Bill...something wrong with your leg?
Bill: Not that I'm aware of, but thanks for asking.
Dave: If there's nothing wrong with your leg, then why the cane?
Bill: The what?
Dave: The cane. Your walking stick.
Bill: Oh, you mean my cane. Picked her up at an antique store over lunch. They say she's over a hundred years old. Hand-carved mahogany with a solid brass tip. What's the matter, Dave? Don't you like my cane?
Dave: Again, Bill, why do you have a cane?
Bill: You like my cane, don't you, Catherine?
Catherine: It's a cane, Bill. Who cares?
Bill: [laughing] You see, it's just like that saying: "Everybody loves a cane."
Dave: No, Bill, I believe the saying is "Everybody loves a clown", which is what you look like with that thing.
Bill: Ahh! You're jealous of her, aren't you?
Dave: No, Bill, I'm not jealous of her. It's just that it's such an obvious affectation, a desperate bid for attention.
Bill: Maybe. Or maybe I just like canes.
TV Show: NewsRadio
Bill: I have a problem, can we talk in your office?
Dave: Sure.
Bill: Thanks, and for Pete's sake, take that off, it makes you look like a 12 year old...[takes hat off] Oh, I'm sorry, I thought it was the hat.
Dave: Sure.
Bill: Thanks, and for Pete's sake, take that off, it makes you look like a 12 year old...[takes hat off] Oh, I'm sorry, I thought it was the hat.
TV Show: NewsRadio
[The Santa in the lobby has been threating to kill Bill]
Bill: Why are you doing this to me?
Santa: Do I have your complete attention, Bill McNeal?
Bill: Yes!
Santa: Good. [Takes off the Santa hat and beard] My name's Sam Belford. I'm a communications major trying to break into broadcasting. I know this is kind of a silly stunt, but you won't soon be forgetting the name Sam Belford, am I right? And now I'd like to present you with a copy of my demo tape.
Bill: You did all this to get me to listen to your demo tape?
Santa: Yes.
Bill: You're gonna go places in this business, son!
Bill: Why are you doing this to me?
Santa: Do I have your complete attention, Bill McNeal?
Bill: Yes!
Santa: Good. [Takes off the Santa hat and beard] My name's Sam Belford. I'm a communications major trying to break into broadcasting. I know this is kind of a silly stunt, but you won't soon be forgetting the name Sam Belford, am I right? And now I'd like to present you with a copy of my demo tape.
Bill: You did all this to get me to listen to your demo tape?
Santa: Yes.
Bill: You're gonna go places in this business, son!
TV Show: NewsRadio
Lisa: Okay, so the most important thing to remember is that we stick together, right? We are a unit. They take all of us, or they take none of us.
Bill: [walking in] Okay people, let's go to Plan B. It's every man for himself!
Lisa: Listen to me. The last thing we need right now is a power struggle.
Bill: Absolutely, I'm with you.
Lisa: Good.
Bill: All those in favor of maintaining a unified front stay here, those of you who'd like to join my splinter group meet me in the men's room in five minutes.
Bill: [walking in] Okay people, let's go to Plan B. It's every man for himself!
Lisa: Listen to me. The last thing we need right now is a power struggle.
Bill: Absolutely, I'm with you.
Lisa: Good.
Bill: All those in favor of maintaining a unified front stay here, those of you who'd like to join my splinter group meet me in the men's room in five minutes.
TV Show: NewsRadio
Mr. James: It's almost 12: 00. Is anybody gonna try to talk me out of this?
Matthew: Nope. Cause we don't have to.
Mr. James: Why is that Matthew?
Matthew: Well, because I took the liberty of turning the clock back ten minutes, it is actually 12: 05, which means you missed your midnight deadline... yes!
Mr. James: Matthew, that 12: 00 was just a loose guideline. I'm dealing with a corporation here, not magical fairies.
Matthew: Nope. Cause we don't have to.
Mr. James: Why is that Matthew?
Matthew: Well, because I took the liberty of turning the clock back ten minutes, it is actually 12: 05, which means you missed your midnight deadline... yes!
Mr. James: Matthew, that 12: 00 was just a loose guideline. I'm dealing with a corporation here, not magical fairies.
TV Show: NewsRadio
Dave: Any inappropriate expenditures will be deducted from your salary in the future.
Beth: That is going too far.
Dave: No, taking a cab to New Jersey and back is going too far.
Beth: That was radio-related business.
Dave: There are plenty of places in Manhattan to buy a radio.
Beth: Dave, it was a 43% off sale. Apparently, the guy who owned the place went crazy and was slashing prices.
Dave: Well I may go crazy and slash paychecks if I see another receipt like that.
Beth: That is going too far.
Dave: No, taking a cab to New Jersey and back is going too far.
Beth: That was radio-related business.
Dave: There are plenty of places in Manhattan to buy a radio.
Beth: Dave, it was a 43% off sale. Apparently, the guy who owned the place went crazy and was slashing prices.
Dave: Well I may go crazy and slash paychecks if I see another receipt like that.
TV Show: NewsRadio
Mr. James: Dave, you're the boss. You're supposed to be thick-skinned.
Dave: I'm plenty thick-skinned.
Mr. James: Oh yeah, I've seen thicker skin on a bowl of pudding. Here, check this out...
[Mr. James puts his hand above a lit candle.]
Dave: Sir, you really don't have to do that to impress me.
Mr. James: You wanna know the secret?
Dave: Wild guess... thick skin?
Mr. James: Well, metaphysically, yes. Technically speaking, you do it 15, 16 times it kills all the nerve endings in your hand.
Dave: I'm plenty thick-skinned.
Mr. James: Oh yeah, I've seen thicker skin on a bowl of pudding. Here, check this out...
[Mr. James puts his hand above a lit candle.]
Dave: Sir, you really don't have to do that to impress me.
Mr. James: You wanna know the secret?
Dave: Wild guess... thick skin?
Mr. James: Well, metaphysically, yes. Technically speaking, you do it 15, 16 times it kills all the nerve endings in your hand.
TV Show: NewsRadio
Dave: Well, well, well. A kingdom of fat men in mini cars. You must be very proud.
TV Show: NewsRadio
Dave: You're telling me you don't want to go to New Hampshire because... your cats will kill you?
Matthew: It's called responsibility, David. Wake up and sniff it.
Matthew: It's called responsibility, David. Wake up and sniff it.
TV Show: NewsRadio
Dave: By the way, you'll be happy to hear that you're going to New Hampshire after all.
Lisa: How come Matthew's not going?
Dave: Well, apparently if he's away from home for more than 30 minutes, his cats start plotting against him.
Lisa: And people say you're whipped.
Lisa: How come Matthew's not going?
Dave: Well, apparently if he's away from home for more than 30 minutes, his cats start plotting against him.
Lisa: And people say you're whipped.
TV Show: NewsRadio
Dave: So, Theo, you want to work in broadcasting?
Theo: Anything would be better than what I'm doing now.
Dave: What are you doing now?
Theo: I give motivational speeches for corporate events.
Theo: Anything would be better than what I'm doing now.
Dave: What are you doing now?
Theo: I give motivational speeches for corporate events.
TV Show: NewsRadio
Beth: Theo makes me think he's doing one thing but he's really doing something else. He's just like every other guy I've dated except he uses props.
TV Show: NewsRadio
Bill: Dave, don't worry about it. You know what they say: "Mighty oaks from little acorns grow."
Dave: ...Thanks, Bill. Do you get all your lines from fortune cookies?
[A short while later]
Bill: Envy not that which not need be possessed.
Dave: Thanks, Bill.
Bill: Good fortune happy lucky big time for you and family. That one doesn't make a lot of sense, but it's always stuck with me.
Dave: ...Thanks, Bill. Do you get all your lines from fortune cookies?
[A short while later]
Bill: Envy not that which not need be possessed.
Dave: Thanks, Bill.
Bill: Good fortune happy lucky big time for you and family. That one doesn't make a lot of sense, but it's always stuck with me.
TV Show: NewsRadio
Lisa: Cards aren't a game of luck. They're a game of strategy, statistics, probability, and money management.
TV Show: NewsRadio
Joe: Can I talk to you for a minute?
Dave: It better be good and it better be fast!
Lisa: I was just about to say that.
Dave: It better be good and it better be fast!
Lisa: I was just about to say that.
TV Show: NewsRadio
Mr. James: I am a cipher, a cipher wrapped in an enigma, smothered in secret sauce.
TV Show: NewsRadio
[Lisa is planning to expose Mr. James]
Dave: All right, well, let's not go overboard. Let's try to remember that, at heart, Mr. James is a decent person.
Lisa: Yes, they're all decent persons, Dave, but once a man throws his hat into the ring, it is my duty as a journalist to make him my bitch.
Dave: All right, well, let's not go overboard. Let's try to remember that, at heart, Mr. James is a decent person.
Lisa: Yes, they're all decent persons, Dave, but once a man throws his hat into the ring, it is my duty as a journalist to make him my bitch.
TV Show: NewsRadio
Mr. James: Bill seems happy with 'adequate.'
Catherine: Bill thinks having a bird crap on him is a compliment from the gods!
Catherine: Bill thinks having a bird crap on him is a compliment from the gods!
TV Show: NewsRadio
Beth: That must be so demeaning, just getting coffee for people all day... Wait a minute...
TV Show: NewsRadio