Nip Tuck Quotes
Sean: [to Christian] Do you realize, between the two of us, that we've almost ruined a marriage and a business by sleeping with the wrong women this month?
TV Show: Nip Tuck
Christian: Free surgeries are like sex without an orgasm.
Sean: Unless, of course, the patient’s name is Blu Mondae, in which case the free surgery follows an orgasm.
Sean: Unless, of course, the patient’s name is Blu Mondae, in which case the free surgery follows an orgasm.
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Julia: Do you know the difference between God and a surgeon? God doesn’t think he’s a surgeon.
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Sean: At the moment, I’m grateful for every single surgery that’s giving me the skill to make my son whole.
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Evetta: [to Christian] I was talking about my heartburn, dummy. I don’t need no Hoover vacuum stealing my ass. Where I come from, I don’t get lipo to attract a man. I eat another cherry pie and put more junk in my trunk.
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Christian: This is for old times’ sake. Tell me what you don’t like about yourself.
Evetta: Can I answer that one? Cause there are a few things I don’t like about Driving Miss Crazy here.
Mrs. Grubman: No, you can’t answer that one, Evetta. If I wanted someone with an opinion, I’d have hired Star Jones.
Evetta: Can I answer that one? Cause there are a few things I don’t like about Driving Miss Crazy here.
Mrs. Grubman: No, you can’t answer that one, Evetta. If I wanted someone with an opinion, I’d have hired Star Jones.
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Christian: I'm way past shooting for sainthood, sweetheart. God gave me a dick and I intend to glorify him by playing that organ as intensely and as often as possible.
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James: Let’s face it, Christian, not every man can appreciate the experience of a perfectly aged single malt. Smoky scent, sweet and salty taste.
Christian: Where do you get the balls to come on to me?
James: It’s inevitable, you and I. The same refined taste, in Scotch and in women. Don’t you believe in fate?
Christian: Only in Greek tragedy.
James: I believe in critical mass. Tipping points, tiny straws that can break camel’s backs. You’ve been trying to show me who’s boss for some time, haven’t you? Well, now’s your chance.
Christian: Where do you get the balls to come on to me?
James: It’s inevitable, you and I. The same refined taste, in Scotch and in women. Don’t you believe in fate?
Christian: Only in Greek tragedy.
James: I believe in critical mass. Tipping points, tiny straws that can break camel’s backs. You’ve been trying to show me who’s boss for some time, haven’t you? Well, now’s your chance.
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James: That car is worth more than $100,000.
Christian: A lottery winner once paid me 4 grand to ride my dick. That means you owe me $300,000.
Christian: A lottery winner once paid me 4 grand to ride my dick. That means you owe me $300,000.
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Christian: Sweetheart, you’re two hours late. If you were a pizza, I’d get you for free.
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Sean: Tell me what you don’t like about yourself.
Christian: Just start at your head and work your way down.
Liz: I just want a little lipo and maybe some work around the eyes.
Christian: Oh yeah, that ought to do it.
Liz: Shut up, Christian.
Christian: Just start at your head and work your way down.
Liz: I just want a little lipo and maybe some work around the eyes.
Christian: Oh yeah, that ought to do it.
Liz: Shut up, Christian.
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Christian: [to Merrill, referring to his prison husband] Must have been one hell of a guy. It usually takes at least six karats for a bitch to give it up like that.
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Kimber: Julia, Matt and I are in love. And I understand that becoming a grandmother brings up complicated feelings. But please don’t make that our problem.
Julia: My eighteen-year-old son is having a child with a woman who happens to have slept with both of his fathers. There is nothing complicated about my feelings!
Julia: My eighteen-year-old son is having a child with a woman who happens to have slept with both of his fathers. There is nothing complicated about my feelings!
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Sean: [to Christian]] Have you ever had a baby that someone else didn’t think was theirs?
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Christian: [referring to Matt's marriage to Kimber] That’s like saying we should be happy if you’re a drug addict and just scored a bag of heroin.
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Christian: I'd prefer a blond that can suck the yellow off a canary than brunettes with tight asses.
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Sean: Why haven’t you asked me about Monica? What I did, why I did it.
Julia: I know why you did it. The same reason that I had an affair with Marlowe.
Sean: I want to talk about it.
Julia: I already know all the answers. So do you.
Julia: I know why you did it. The same reason that I had an affair with Marlowe.
Sean: I want to talk about it.
Julia: I already know all the answers. So do you.
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Conor: I went to an all-boys prep school, and there are a lot of girls at my college. My mom always told me that people would love me for my big green eyes and my good heart, but I’ve come to realise girls also like it when you can unhook their bras by yourself.
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Christian: They don't speak a word of English and only love me for my money. But they don't quit until the super Viagra wears off, so who gives a shit.
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Diana Lubey: He suffered so much from her cruel unhappiness, but he wouldn’t leave. He was just like that, an old-fashioned man. Divorce was unthinkable. Couldn’t face his children, his grandchildren. He loved me, but I was the one left with nothing. Not a mention at his funeral, no closet full of his shirts to sleep in. So I stole his ashes and I valued them. My only crime was loving him too much.
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Christian: You’re right. I suck. I suck as a friend. I suck as a lover. I suck as a fiancée. I’m tired of defending myself.
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Christian: Michelle didn’t tell me her pimp had a pimp.
James: We all eventually have to face a higher power. Some are a bit more brutal than others.
James: We all eventually have to face a higher power. Some are a bit more brutal than others.
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Christian: I’ve been wanting to talk to you since Faith’s office. I lied about what happened in there.
Sean: I knew you didn’t screw her over the desk!
Christian: No, that part’s true. I mean about… What she said about the dream. About me having feelings for you. (pause) Not those kind of feelings. I never really thought I was gay. It was Faith who tried to convince me of that. I just think I have intimacy issues, y’know, with anybody in my life that...I love. I get confused and it’s really hard for me to express myself. (pause) That sounded really gay, didn’t it?
Sean: Yeah.
Christian: Yeah, well, screw you! Screw you! (there is a little joking play fighting between the men) Seriously, I love you.
Sean: I know. I love you too.
Sean: I knew you didn’t screw her over the desk!
Christian: No, that part’s true. I mean about… What she said about the dream. About me having feelings for you. (pause) Not those kind of feelings. I never really thought I was gay. It was Faith who tried to convince me of that. I just think I have intimacy issues, y’know, with anybody in my life that...I love. I get confused and it’s really hard for me to express myself. (pause) That sounded really gay, didn’t it?
Sean: Yeah.
Christian: Yeah, well, screw you! Screw you! (there is a little joking play fighting between the men) Seriously, I love you.
Sean: I know. I love you too.
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Michelle: But it isn't just about him, Sean. What about my baggage?
Sean: He can handle it.
Michelle: But I don't know if I can.
Sean: So you use him, let him help you. He's strong.
Sean: He can handle it.
Michelle: But I don't know if I can.
Sean: So you use him, let him help you. He's strong.
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Christian: Take the coffeemaker, Sean. When you become a big, successful Beverly Hills plastic surgeon, this will remind you of where you come from.
TV Show: Nip Tuck