Nip Tuck Quotes
Christian: Dr. Santiago, maybe you should consider having your own orgasm every now and then so you don't have to live through mine.
TV Show: Nip Tuck
Christian: Can I buy you another drink?
Grace: Now that, Dr. Troy, would be pointless, seeing as you're the reason I'm drinking.
Grace: Now that, Dr. Troy, would be pointless, seeing as you're the reason I'm drinking.
TV Show: Nip Tuck
Gina: Since I started in the program, things have changed. I don't go home with anyone who reinforces my low self-image. I don't blow anyone off because he has the taste to actually like me.
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Gina: Girl meets surgeon. Girl goes home with surgeon. Surgeon has a great excuse to leave before dawn. Am I close?
Christian: We go to my place and I give her cab fare.
Christian: We go to my place and I give her cab fare.
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Gina: Well, doctor, I wouldn't expect you to believe in a higher power. You already think you are God.
TV Show: Nip Tuck
Christian: None of us get out alive. Now you can huddle in a group and face it one day at a time, or you could be grateful that when your body rubs against someone else's, it explodes with enough pleasure that you can forget, even for a minute, that you're only a walking pile of ashes. Now that is the truth. If you're strong, it'll make you free. If you're weak, it'll make you, you.
TV Show: Nip Tuck
Sean: I’m gonna get a vasectomy. Julia doesn’t want to have any more kids and I can’t handle another mistake.
Christian: That’s the most bullshit cure for depression I ever heard. If you want to shoot blanks, Sean, don’t get snipped. Do what I do. Take a bath.
Sean: What?
Christian: For every date, I sit in a 116 degree bath. Excessive testicular heat shuts down spermatogenosis. Teabag your testicles in a hot tub and I swear you’ll be sterile and squeaky clean.
Christian: That’s the most bullshit cure for depression I ever heard. If you want to shoot blanks, Sean, don’t get snipped. Do what I do. Take a bath.
Sean: What?
Christian: For every date, I sit in a 116 degree bath. Excessive testicular heat shuts down spermatogenosis. Teabag your testicles in a hot tub and I swear you’ll be sterile and squeaky clean.
TV Show: Nip Tuck
Matt: Vanessa, this isn’t all about Ridley. What do you want?
Vanessa: I just want her to love me, that’s all.
Matt: Is all this effort worth it?
Vanessa: You tell me, Matt? Is all this pain worth it to you?
Matt: Pain? I’m a guy who’s about to have a three-way!
Vanessa: I just want her to love me, that’s all.
Matt: Is all this effort worth it?
Vanessa: You tell me, Matt? Is all this pain worth it to you?
Matt: Pain? I’m a guy who’s about to have a three-way!
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Christian Troy: I counted each contraction. Three times. Or were you doing your Kegel exercises?
Grace Santiago: [whispers] Lock the door.
Grace Santiago: [whispers] Lock the door.
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Christian: You know what they say. For every beautiful girl there is a guy tired of screwing her.
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Sean: How do you feel about taking on an intern?
Christian: What does she look like?
Sean: He is a friend of Julia’s from school. Jude, something. I could use the points. She’s pissed that I’m not outraged enough about Matt’s three-way.
Christian: Alright with me, partner. I’d much rather have him hanging around here all day than hanging shirtless by your pool feeding your wife margaritas.
Christian: What does she look like?
Sean: He is a friend of Julia’s from school. Jude, something. I could use the points. She’s pissed that I’m not outraged enough about Matt’s three-way.
Christian: Alright with me, partner. I’d much rather have him hanging around here all day than hanging shirtless by your pool feeding your wife margaritas.
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Kimber: [referring to her nurse's outfit] I spent $400 on this outfit. I’m just trying to do what you wanted and spice things up.
Christian: Here’s the dilemma. You think a jockey wants to come home to see his girlfriend dressed like a horse? I’m around nurses all day, sweetheart. If I wanted to screw one of them, I would’ve by now.
Christian: Here’s the dilemma. You think a jockey wants to come home to see his girlfriend dressed like a horse? I’m around nurses all day, sweetheart. If I wanted to screw one of them, I would’ve by now.
TV Show: Nip Tuck
Christian: Are you doing this because you were rejected by a woman?
Mr. Mantegna: One woman? Try thirty. In one night.
Christian: [Edit] Don't worry, Mr. Mantegna. When we're done with you, the only tits you'll be feeling up are gonna belong to Hooters girls.
Mr. Mantegna: One woman? Try thirty. In one night.
Christian: [Edit] Don't worry, Mr. Mantegna. When we're done with you, the only tits you'll be feeling up are gonna belong to Hooters girls.
TV Show: Nip Tuck
Julia: Can't a woman just do something nice for her husband?
Sean: A woman can definitely do something nice for her husband. You driving 20 minutes to bring me lunch sounds like a woman who wants her husband to do something nice for her.
Sean: A woman can definitely do something nice for her husband. You driving 20 minutes to bring me lunch sounds like a woman who wants her husband to do something nice for her.
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Julia: Having three-way sex in my house is a very big deal, Matt.
Matt: You guys are lucky that that was all I was doing. I know kids hooked on crank, kids who are plotting to blow up the school.
Julia: Congratulations. You win the award for least screwed up teenager.
Matt: You guys are lucky that that was all I was doing. I know kids hooked on crank, kids who are plotting to blow up the school.
Julia: Congratulations. You win the award for least screwed up teenager.
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Christian: If I'm going to do this one woman thing, it can't be with just one woman.
TV Show: Nip Tuck
Patient: [in examination] Dr. Troy, you are the only man I want handling my penis.
Christian: You are the only man who's ever said that to me.
Patient: Is the scar really gone? My fiance doesn't like going down.
Christian: And you're gonna marry that bitch?
Patient: Just don't tell my girlfriend.
[Both men laugh]
Patient: So the cream will help it all go away in two weeks?
Christian: Or your money back.
Christian: You are the only man who's ever said that to me.
Patient: Is the scar really gone? My fiance doesn't like going down.
Christian: And you're gonna marry that bitch?
Patient: Just don't tell my girlfriend.
[Both men laugh]
Patient: So the cream will help it all go away in two weeks?
Christian: Or your money back.
TV Show: Nip Tuck
Christian: [upon learning that Sean made a pass at Dr. Grace Santiago] Did you hire her because you're afraid that she might sue?
Dr. Grace Santiago: Lawsuits typically happen when you lose your job after you have slept with the boss.
Christian: Is that a threat?
Sean: [to Christian] Wait... you slept with Grace?
Christian: [rolls his eyes]
Sean: Goddamn it! Are you out of your mind? How could you do this!
Christian: Sleep with someone who rejected you?
Dr. Grace Santiago: Lawsuits typically happen when you lose your job after you have slept with the boss.
Christian: Is that a threat?
Sean: [to Christian] Wait... you slept with Grace?
Christian: [rolls his eyes]
Sean: Goddamn it! Are you out of your mind? How could you do this!
Christian: Sleep with someone who rejected you?
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Christian: I don't like her, Sean. She is a troublemaker and her shoes are cheap.
Sean: Shut up, Christian, just shut up. I need to think.
Sean: Shut up, Christian, just shut up. I need to think.
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Christian: This is about you playing Demi Moore with some 25-year-old punk kid with an overactive libido.
Julia: The one with an overactive libido is a middle-aged surgeon. You fired him for revenge. [Edit] Someone else wants me and you can't stand it.
Christian: Please, I can have anyone anytime I want it.
Julia: You can't have me.
Christian: Julia, your boy toy is me.
Julia: 15 years younger.
Julia: The one with an overactive libido is a middle-aged surgeon. You fired him for revenge. [Edit] Someone else wants me and you can't stand it.
Christian: Please, I can have anyone anytime I want it.
Julia: You can't have me.
Christian: Julia, your boy toy is me.
Julia: 15 years younger.
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Christian: I've lost my faith, Father. I've drank, I've done drugs, I've fornicated with women and discarded them like trash. I've lost my soul. The boys you raped will be saying the same thing in 20 years.
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Merrill Bobolit : [referring to Kimber Henry as his ideal wife] My DNA mixed with hers all but assures a blond Jew.
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Christian: What do you think that would be like? To want to get rid of your penis? The hub of all power?
Sean: Actually, I admire her conviction. It takes...
Christian: Balls?
Sean: Actually, I admire her conviction. It takes...
Christian: Balls?
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Liz: I have a tattoo on my right breast. Two female symbols intertwined.
Christian: Double dykes?
Liz: I’m expressing my lesbian identity.
Christian: Double dykes?
Liz: I’m expressing my lesbian identity.
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Liz: What about you? Are you gay?
Sophia: Today.
Liz: And tomorrow?
Sophia: Straight……after the surgery.
Liz: You’re a conundrum wrapped up in a riddle, babe. (Edit)
Sophia: Today.
Liz: And tomorrow?
Sophia: Straight……after the surgery.
Liz: You’re a conundrum wrapped up in a riddle, babe. (Edit)
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Sophia: Have you always been a lesbian, Liz?
Liz: I slept with a man once in college. He had long hair and when I closed my eyes, and felt it sweeping across my face, I pretended it was Joni Mitchell.
Liz: I slept with a man once in college. He had long hair and when I closed my eyes, and felt it sweeping across my face, I pretended it was Joni Mitchell.
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Christian: I don't excel at anything. My relationships, my profession... All I have to offer is a great smile and a convincing line of bullshit.
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Christian: [referring to the cadaver] Sean, we've got to switch heads.
Sean: No, we're not. [Edit] Practice makes perfect.
Christian: Practice on what? Mr. Potato Head? There is only one way. Kill Ms. Grubman and practice on her.
Sean: No, we're not. [Edit] Practice makes perfect.
Christian: Practice on what? Mr. Potato Head? There is only one way. Kill Ms. Grubman and practice on her.
TV Show: Nip Tuck