Nip Tuck Quotes

Liz: Excuse me, someone in the lobby requests to see an arrogant, oversexed, antichrist.

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Gina: Yeah, that’s right, asshole. I’m pregnant.
Christian: First time at the plate and I get credited with the RBI.
Gina: You were the only batter.
Christian: I was wearing a rubber.
Gina: Well, slugger, either it broke or I’m carrying the next savior.

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Gina: Just because I'm carrying Satan's baby doesn't mean I need to marry the father.

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Liz: Alright sailors, tankle away.

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Sean: But she’s a multiple personality.
Liz: Oh please! Who isn’t? To my mother, I’m a child. To Jan, I’m a heartless, rejecting bitch. And to my dog, I’m God.
Sean: Maybe I should get a dog.

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Grace: I keep forgetting about the hierarchy of McNamara/Troy; I keep imagining I'm apart of it.

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Christian: I laughed, I cried, I came.

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Gina: [surprise to see Christian show up in person] Phone out of order?
Christian: I just thought I should be here to catch you when you fainted from shock. I think we should have this baby. I mean, you should have it, and I´ll pay for it.
Gina: Cue the violins. Why the change of heart?
Christian: I´ve realized I want more. I wanna give more.

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Gina: What's the matter Christian, not turned on by pregnant women?
Christian: No, just not by you.

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Christian: What’s this? You’re still smoking?
Gina: I have cravings! Withdrawal is very hard on the baby. I can only eat so much. Would you rather I suck on these or some random guy?
Christian: Do you have any idea what smoking does to a growing fetus? Try acupuncture.
Gina: That’ll take care of my addiction but what about my oral fixation?
Christian: Then I'll buy you a bag of goddamn lollipops!

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Escobar: You’re a desperate man, Sean. Desperate men don’t come to talk. They come to kill.

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Escobar: Is that the last implant?
Liz: Unless you made the poor girl eat one for shits and giggles, yes.

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Christian: This is good.
Gina: Its Mahi-Mahi with an Asian slaw. I found the recipe online.
Christian: So what do you want? You need something.
Gina: I need you to make love to me.
Christian: You better have made a kick-ass dessert too, sweetheart.
Gina: I’m serious, Christian. I’ve got to get this baby out of me. My back aches. My bowels are backed up like a stadium toilet.
Christian: Your seduction skills need a little work.

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Julia: We´re not fine, Sean. And we never will be. You know it. We both know it.
Sean: Don´t you give up on me.
Julia: There´s nothing wrong in knowing when to surrender. We tried our best. No one can fault us for finally admitting that we just can´t do it anymore.

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Sean: You've seen how he treats women: like they're sub-human.
Liz: Hasn't stopped me from working with Christian.
[Edit]
Christian: Don’t take this the wrong way. But you’re a better man than I am.
Liz: Damn straight.

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Christian: Face it, Sean, we're not college kids anymore. Your hairline is up and your ass is down.
Sean: I'll be sure to put that on your 40th birthday card in a couple of weeks.

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Christian: Can you believe the shit that passes for music these days?
Girl at bar: Maybe you should hang out here on Thursdays. It's oldies night.

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Girl at bar: What are you doing?
Christian: Exhibiting a feat of modern technological daring by programming my number into your cell. Thus, proving that I'm a modern man of my times.

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Christian: Can I buy you a drink?
Girl at bar: [commands Christian] Smile. Thanks, but no thanks.
Christian: Is there spinach, sweetheart?

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Christian: I didn't realize you are a bitter lipstick lesbian. I'm sorry for taking up your time.
Girl at bar: Actually, Christian, I love dick. Just not 40-year-old dick.
Christian: That's perfect, 'cause mine is 35. Why don't we go somewhere dark and private and you can count the rings around my trunk.

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Erica: Do you have a subconscious desire to harm me?
Sean: I assure you, Erica, any desire I have to harm you is entirely conscious.

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Julia: You slept with my mother.
Christian: Once. At your wedding.
Julia: Also at my wedding?
Christian: So, I see she offered up full disclosure.

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Gina: I don't want my child around cheap common whores.
Christian: He's around you all the time. Oh correction, you're an expensive whore.

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Christian: Once you've seen a woman's cum face, you've seen her soul.

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Christian: Men age and society says we´ve become more rugged women age and they just become... old.

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Girl: It might be nice if you paid me a little attention first.
Christian: First come, first served? Why didn't you say so. Saddle up.

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Liz: [sensing the tension between Christian and Sean in the operating room] Is this pistols at 20 paces or is someone gonna get to work here?

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Liz: [to Christian's broken nose] What happened to you? Husband come home early from work?

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Christian: Until now, the worst thing that's happened to this face is a rough exfoliate. I never even had a pimple as a kid.
Sean: Doesn't look like your orbits are involved, maybe just a deviated septum along with the fractured nasal bone. I'll reset it after surgery. You'll be fine.
Christian: Fine? This face? No, you gotta make it what it was before, Sean. Perfect.
Sean: I only do perfect, remember?

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Sean: Tell me what you don't like about yourself. [Silence] If I'm going to work on your nose, Christian, I'd like to follow the same procedure we do for all our patients.
Christian: We're not here to talk about my nose, Sean. We're here to talk about what just happened in surgery.
Sean: Nothing happened. There was a minor mishap.
Christian: You call that river of blood minor?
Sean: Unger bucked from a bad anesthesia reaction. It's happened before.
Christian: Your hand palsied again, Sean.
Sean: No, it didn't.
Christian: Bullshit. Whatever this problem is, it's getting worse.
Sean: It's not getting worse.
Christian: So there is a problem.

TV Show: Nip Tuck