Outnumbered Quotes
Karen: She must know she's fat, 'cos if she looks in the bathroom mirror and then she sees a fat lady...
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Karen: When you die, do you think you'll get dug up by foxes? 'Cos that's what happened to my hamster.
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Karen: What does it feel like to be old? Is it nice?
Granddad: Beats being dead.
Granddad: Beats being dead.
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Pete: How’s school?
Jake: It’s school.
Pete: It was cool?
Jake: It was school. School’s school! Jesus!
Jake: It’s school.
Pete: It was cool?
Jake: It was school. School’s school! Jesus!
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Ben: We could be beat by a bunch of potatoes. I should be captain!
Pete: What, for your team building qualities?
Pete: What, for your team building qualities?
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Pete: …after that it’s break out the champagne and oysters, and put the rose petals on the bed.
Sue: Pete, stop it. You sound like Leslie Philips.
Sue: Pete, stop it. You sound like Leslie Philips.
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Steven: I’m Rory’s dad – Steven. Ben’s told us all about you. He’s quite a kid, isn’t he?
Pete: Yes, he’s quite a kid.
Steven: He’s told us all about you.
Pete: Has he?
Steven: Oh yes, he’s obviously very proud. So tell me, what’s Gordon Brown really like?
Pete: Yes, he’s quite a kid.
Steven: He’s told us all about you.
Pete: Has he?
Steven: Oh yes, he’s obviously very proud. So tell me, what’s Gordon Brown really like?
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Ben: Can I watch Little Britain?
Pete: Have a guess.
Ben: Yes.
Pete: Have another guess.
Pete: Have a guess.
Ben: Yes.
Pete: Have another guess.
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Sue: So will you tell Dad you're leaving?
Angela: Of course I will.
Sue: So I'll be round there tomorrow night explaining why you're not coming back.
Angela: Of course I will.
Sue: So I'll be round there tomorrow night explaining why you're not coming back.
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Jake: Do dinner parties always end like that?
Pete: The ones when your Auntie Angela is invited do.
Pete: The ones when your Auntie Angela is invited do.
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Sue: He got…. the big kid to beat him up.
Pete: Yeah.
Sue: We can’t condone that!
Pete: No, we can’t condone that, no. It’s resourceful though, isn’t it?
Sue: …but wrong.
Pete: Well it’s wrong, yeah. It’s very wrong. Mind you, that kid Preston, he had it coming though, didn’t he.
Sue: Pete, it’s wrong. You can’t meet violence with violence.
Pete: Not often, no. Okay, never. Rarely.
Pete: Yeah.
Sue: We can’t condone that!
Pete: No, we can’t condone that, no. It’s resourceful though, isn’t it?
Sue: …but wrong.
Pete: Well it’s wrong, yeah. It’s very wrong. Mind you, that kid Preston, he had it coming though, didn’t he.
Sue: Pete, it’s wrong. You can’t meet violence with violence.
Pete: Not often, no. Okay, never. Rarely.
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Sue: (to Pete, about Angela) She, is buggering off back to America!
Pete: Now, we gathered that. We gathered quite a lot of things!
Pete: Now, we gathered that. We gathered quite a lot of things!
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Angela: You are a mean, small minded, suburban bitch!
Sue: It’s better than a menopausal, hippie chick bitch!
Sue: It’s better than a menopausal, hippie chick bitch!
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Sue: Angela, you have a choice, You can either come into the kitchen and help me with sauce, or you can help me with the sauce out here in front of everyone.
Pete: (to Angela)Looks like you’re the sauce lady.
Pete: (to Angela)Looks like you’re the sauce lady.
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Pete: You should never, ever hit a person!
Ben: What if they're attacking you with a shovel? You must be able to hit them.
Ben: What if they're attacking you with a shovel? You must be able to hit them.
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Karen: You're not supposed to upset me on my big day.
Sue: Well strickly speaking, Karen, it's cousin Julie's big day, isn't it?
Karen: I wish everybody would stop saying that!
Sue: Well strickly speaking, Karen, it's cousin Julie's big day, isn't it?
Karen: I wish everybody would stop saying that!
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Ben: (when Karen is stuck in the bathroom) You could put beavers through the window and they'd eat the door.
Pete: Look, can we please stop with these stupid suggestions about beavers?
Sue: There is no point in panicking.
Pete: I'm not panicking. We're not gonna be late! I will deal with it. And I will deal with it in a calm and measured way.
Pete: Look, can we please stop with these stupid suggestions about beavers?
Sue: There is no point in panicking.
Pete: I'm not panicking. We're not gonna be late! I will deal with it. And I will deal with it in a calm and measured way.
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Jake: (on the way to the wedding) How much will it cost to replace that door?
Pete: Look, I got us here on time, didn't I? Sometimes drastic situations require drastic measures.
Jake: So how's your shoulder?
Pete: Fine.
Jake: And your foot?
Pete: Yes!
Jake: And your -
Pete: Look, can we just -
Pete: Look, I got us here on time, didn't I? Sometimes drastic situations require drastic measures.
Jake: So how's your shoulder?
Pete: Fine.
Jake: And your foot?
Pete: Yes!
Jake: And your -
Pete: Look, can we just -
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Julie: So girls, how do I look?
Karen: You look beautiful.
Julie: Thank you, Karen.
Mary: Do I look beautiful?
Karen: You look okay...
Karen: You look beautiful.
Julie: Thank you, Karen.
Mary: Do I look beautiful?
Karen: You look okay...
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Ben: Why has Jesus got that sad expression on his face?
Sue: Well, he's being - crucified, and it's making him feel sad.
Ben: He's got nails in his hands, he should be going: "Aaaaargh!"
Sue: Ben, shush!
Ben: Well, he should. Stroppy old Jesus.
Sue: Well, he's being - crucified, and it's making him feel sad.
Ben: He's got nails in his hands, he should be going: "Aaaaargh!"
Sue: Ben, shush!
Ben: Well, he should. Stroppy old Jesus.
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Pete: Can't have mice in the house, can you?
Karen: Why not?
Pete: Well, because they're dirty and they smell.
Karen: So does Ben.
Pete: But they run around the house and they poo everywhere.
Karen: So does Ben.
Ben: That's not fair. I had diarrhoea.
Karen: But you got it all over that man's shoes.
Pete: Yeah they really should have toilets on the Milennium Wheel. god that was a long half hour.
Karen: Why not?
Pete: Well, because they're dirty and they smell.
Karen: So does Ben.
Pete: But they run around the house and they poo everywhere.
Karen: So does Ben.
Ben: That's not fair. I had diarrhoea.
Karen: But you got it all over that man's shoes.
Pete: Yeah they really should have toilets on the Milennium Wheel. god that was a long half hour.
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Karen: What is a motherfudger?
Ben: It's a mother that's made of fudge and you can eat them.
Ben: It's a mother that's made of fudge and you can eat them.
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Karen: Brethrens, we are gathered here in the bosom of Jesus to say goodbye to this, to this mouse, killed before its time. We have given it cheese and bread for its journey to heaven, or at least if it goes to hell, it’ll have cheese on toast. Next up is the pope- Dust to dust, for richer or for poorer, in sickness or in health, may the force be with you, because you’re worth it, amen and out. Thank you Pope.
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Sue: It's six-twenty five! How come they actually wake up early on the weekend?
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Jake: (while the family is playing board games) Fat, gold guy.
Pete: Goldfinger. David Dickinson.
Jake: He's like a god.
Pete: Who is he?
Jake: Buddha.
Pete: The divine inspiration for hundreds of millions of people...fat, gold guy?
Pete: Goldfinger. David Dickinson.
Jake: He's like a god.
Pete: Who is he?
Jake: Buddha.
Pete: The divine inspiration for hundreds of millions of people...fat, gold guy?
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Sue: So that's five hours in an airport with kids! That's five weeks in normal time!
TV Show: Outnumbered