Outnumbered Quotes
Ben: This makes me the first man - to climb Everest - backwards - without oxygen - or even a jumper!
TV Show: Outnumbered
[Pete and Jake are being questioned by a man opposing speed bumps in the local area, who has hasselled them many times before]
Man: [to Pete] So can we assume your support? It's just, you're not entirely clear as to your exact position.
Pete: My exact position? Ah yes, now, let me see... I would say, erm, that... Well, given that my child is currently in the hospital, having been hit by a speeding car -
Jake: You don't actually know that, dad.
Pete: [ignoring him] I would say, on balance, erm, that my exact position is that, in order to slow down all the, erm... Shrivel-cocked Jeremy Clarkson wannabes - such as your good self - who seem to feel that any speed restriction is an abuse of their basic human rights to drive like a pillock, I would be in favour of any speed bumps.
Jake: Dad!
Pete: [angrily] And, as a further traffic calming measure, I'd also be in favour of rocket-propelled grenades targeted to disappear up their stupid, complacent little arses!
Man: [to Pete] So can we assume your support? It's just, you're not entirely clear as to your exact position.
Pete: My exact position? Ah yes, now, let me see... I would say, erm, that... Well, given that my child is currently in the hospital, having been hit by a speeding car -
Jake: You don't actually know that, dad.
Pete: [ignoring him] I would say, on balance, erm, that my exact position is that, in order to slow down all the, erm... Shrivel-cocked Jeremy Clarkson wannabes - such as your good self - who seem to feel that any speed restriction is an abuse of their basic human rights to drive like a pillock, I would be in favour of any speed bumps.
Jake: Dad!
Pete: [angrily] And, as a further traffic calming measure, I'd also be in favour of rocket-propelled grenades targeted to disappear up their stupid, complacent little arses!
TV Show: Outnumbered
Karen: If you say it will hurt a tiny bit and it hurts a lot, who do I talk to?
Nurse: Who do you talk to?
Karen: Yes, you must have a system.
Nurse: Who do you talk to?
Karen: Yes, you must have a system.
TV Show: Outnumbered
Karen: Dad, you know the man who knocked me over?
Pete: Yeah?
Karen: Was he Albanian?
Pete: No Karen, he wasn't Albanian. And Albanians aren't responsible for everything.
Karen: How long will he be going to jail for?
Sue: He's not gonna go to jail, darling.
Karen: Oh, so we're just going to sue him?
Sue: No Karen, just let it go.
Karen: Oh but Mum, you must never do that.
Pete: Yeah?
Karen: Was he Albanian?
Pete: No Karen, he wasn't Albanian. And Albanians aren't responsible for everything.
Karen: How long will he be going to jail for?
Sue: He's not gonna go to jail, darling.
Karen: Oh, so we're just going to sue him?
Sue: No Karen, just let it go.
Karen: Oh but Mum, you must never do that.
TV Show: Outnumbered