Planes, Trains and Automobiles Quotes
Del: You play with your balls a lot.
Neal: I do NOT play with my balls.
Del: Larry Bird doesn't do as much ball-handling in one night as you do in an hour!
Neal: Are you trying to start a fight?
Del: No. I'm simply stating a fact. That's all. You fidget with your nuts a lot.
Neal: You know what'd make me happy?
Del: Another couple of balls, and an extra set of fingers?
Neal: I do NOT play with my balls.
Del: Larry Bird doesn't do as much ball-handling in one night as you do in an hour!
Neal: Are you trying to start a fight?
Del: No. I'm simply stating a fact. That's all. You fidget with your nuts a lot.
Neal: You know what'd make me happy?
Del: Another couple of balls, and an extra set of fingers?
Movie: Planes, Trains and Automobiles
Del: You could've killed me slugging me in the gut like that. That's how Houdini died, you know.
Movie: Planes, Trains and Automobiles
Marti Page: Mom, is Grandpa Walter going to give me noogies?
Susan Page: Of course he's going to give you noogies. He loves giving you noogies. That's how he tells you he loves you.
Little Neal Page: Why doesn't he give me noogies?
Susan Page: Because you get Indian burns.
Little Neal Page: But I prefer noogies.
Susan Page: Of course he's going to give you noogies. He loves giving you noogies. That's how he tells you he loves you.
Little Neal Page: Why doesn't he give me noogies?
Susan Page: Because you get Indian burns.
Little Neal Page: But I prefer noogies.
Movie: Planes, Trains and Automobiles
Neal: You know everything is not an anecdote. You have to discriminate. You choose things that are funny or mildly amusing or interesting. You're a miracle! Your stories have NONE of that. They're not even amusing ACCIDENTALLY! "Honey, I'd like you to meet Del Griffith, he's got some amusing anecodotes for you. Oh and here's a gun so you can blow your brains out. You'll thank me for it." I could tolerate any insurance seminar. For days I could sit there and listen to them go on and on with a big smile on my face. They'd say, "How can you stand it?" I'd say, "'Cause I've been with Del Griffith. I can take ANYTHING." You know what they'd say? They'd say, "I know what you mean. The shower curtain ring guy. Woah." It's like going on a date with a Chatty Cathy doll. I expect you have a little string on your chest, you know, that I pull out and have to snap back. Except I wouldn't pull it out and snap it back - you would. Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! And by the way, you know, when you're telling these little stories? Here's a good idea - have a POINT. It makes it SO much more interesting for the listener!
Movie: Planes, Trains and Automobiles
Susan Page: You shared a motel room with a complete stranger? Are you crazy?
Neal: Not yet. But I'm getting there.
Neal: Not yet. But I'm getting there.
Movie: Planes, Trains and Automobiles
[Neal and Del are watching their car burning and laughing]
Neal: How could you rent the thing without a credit card anyway? I mean you could but how could you?
Del: Oh I gave this gal behind the counter a set of shower curtain rings. [laughs]
Neal: You can't rent a car with shower curtain rings Del.
Del: [Stops laughing] Well... your diner's club card wound up in my wallet and I just...
Neal: You STOLE it!
Del: Not exactly.
Neal: You stole it! I knew you stole it. You stole the card and then you rented a car and you burned it up! I knew you stole it.
Del: No I didn't! I found it in my wallet! I thought maybe you put it there.
Neal: WHY WOULD I PUT IT THERE?
Del: Kindness.
Neal: KINDNESS! KINDNESS! You stole it! He stole it!
Del: No I didn't. I was going to send you the card back. With whatever the rental car charge was. Plus interest. But you didn't give me your address. You just ditched me! I had no cards. I had no money. I had nothing!
Neal: [Grabs Del] Give it back!
Del: I can't!
Neal: Why not?
Del: Because!
Neal: Because why?
Del: Because when we stopped to gas up. I put the card in your wallet. [Neal's wallet is in the glove compartment in the now burning car]
Del: You're not mad at me are you?
Neal: [Punches Del in the stomach and trips over his trunk]
Neal: How could you rent the thing without a credit card anyway? I mean you could but how could you?
Del: Oh I gave this gal behind the counter a set of shower curtain rings. [laughs]
Neal: You can't rent a car with shower curtain rings Del.
Del: [Stops laughing] Well... your diner's club card wound up in my wallet and I just...
Neal: You STOLE it!
Del: Not exactly.
Neal: You stole it! I knew you stole it. You stole the card and then you rented a car and you burned it up! I knew you stole it.
Del: No I didn't! I found it in my wallet! I thought maybe you put it there.
Neal: WHY WOULD I PUT IT THERE?
Del: Kindness.
Neal: KINDNESS! KINDNESS! You stole it! He stole it!
Del: No I didn't. I was going to send you the card back. With whatever the rental car charge was. Plus interest. But you didn't give me your address. You just ditched me! I had no cards. I had no money. I had nothing!
Neal: [Grabs Del] Give it back!
Del: I can't!
Neal: Why not?
Del: Because!
Neal: Because why?
Del: Because when we stopped to gas up. I put the card in your wallet. [Neal's wallet is in the glove compartment in the now burning car]
Del: You're not mad at me are you?
Neal: [Punches Del in the stomach and trips over his trunk]
Movie: Planes, Trains and Automobiles