Press Gang Quotes
Kenny: The thing about Lynda is, Sam, she's not half as hard as wants you to think.
TV Show: Press Gang
Kelly/Dublin Girl [on the phone to Kenny]: Are you a nice guy?
Kenny: Me, nice? You’re talking to world champion nice here. I’m so nice I get socks for Christmas – and I like it. I’m so sweet and lovable cuddly toys sneer at me.
Kelly: Then I guess you’ll never get dumped.
Kenny: Me, nice? You’re talking to world champion nice here. I’m so nice I get socks for Christmas – and I like it. I’m so sweet and lovable cuddly toys sneer at me.
Kelly: Then I guess you’ll never get dumped.
TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda: Of course - your dear old aunt in Sherrington. What is it this time? Ill? Dead? Tell me, how do you justify being off work at her funeral on no less than eight separate occasions?
Kenny: She is my aunt!
Lynda: Kenny - this woman has died a total of eight times!
Kenny: How do you think I feel?
Kenny: She is my aunt!
Lynda: Kenny - this woman has died a total of eight times!
Kenny: How do you think I feel?
TV Show: Press Gang
Sam: That's not what lasting relationships are based on. I should know - I've had hundreds of them.
TV Show: Press Gang
Spike: I'm a great kisser, Lynda. Seventeen years, and never dribbled.
Lynda: I expect you practice a lot on your own.
Spike: Absolutely. I have this pair of rubber lips.
Lynda: I can see that.
Lynda: I expect you practice a lot on your own.
Spike: Absolutely. I have this pair of rubber lips.
Lynda: I can see that.
TV Show: Press Gang
Spike: Actually, I'm six foot three. I've just been standing in a hole since I was seven.
Lynda: Yes, I've often thought of you that way.
Lynda: Yes, I've often thought of you that way.
TV Show: Press Gang
Spike: You're very pretty when you're angry. Of course, I've never seen you any other way. Maybe you're angry when you're pretty.
TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda: Can we for once just be two normal people?
Spike: I can be two normal people if you can.
Spike: I can be two normal people if you can.
TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda: So just don't get up to any crazy stuff.
Spike: When have I ever done that?
Lynda: The school dance.
Spike: Apart from that.
Lynda: The sixth year social.
Spike: And the sixth year social.
Lynda: The fifth year social, the fourth year social...
Spike: Apart from those...
Lynda: Sarah's birthday party, Julie's birthday party, Kevin's birthday party... The school sports day, the staff/pupil social...
Spike: I don't remember the staff/pupil social.
Lynda: That's part of the problem.
Spike: When have I ever done that?
Lynda: The school dance.
Spike: Apart from that.
Lynda: The sixth year social.
Spike: And the sixth year social.
Lynda: The fifth year social, the fourth year social...
Spike: Apart from those...
Lynda: Sarah's birthday party, Julie's birthday party, Kevin's birthday party... The school sports day, the staff/pupil social...
Spike: I don't remember the staff/pupil social.
Lynda: That's part of the problem.
TV Show: Press Gang
Spike [to Lynda]: For the record, you're the last person in the world I would ever let down. I thought you'd have worked that out by now.
TV Show: Press Gang
Spike: The school dance, the sixth year social, Sarah's birthday party, Kevin's birthday party, Julie's birthday party...
Lynda: What about them?
Spike: You were never there. I figured there was a reason.
Lynda: What about them?
Spike: You were never there. I figured there was a reason.
TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda: I don't do conversation! Anything I say comes out like an order. I say 'hello' and people salute.
TV Show: Press Gang
Colin: So. You saw through my disguise.
Spike: A tablecloth with a headband round it? No, I just took a lucky guess!
Spike: A tablecloth with a headband round it? No, I just took a lucky guess!
TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda: You know, when I was fourteen I pretended I was ill at my own birthday party. Kenny came up to my room and we played chess all evening.
Spike: Good old Kenny.
Lynda: He won three games in a row, and I threw him out.
Spike: Good old Kenny.
Lynda: He won three games in a row, and I threw him out.
TV Show: Press Gang
Spike [hearing a glass break behind him]: Don't look at me. That wasn't my heart!
TV Show: Press Gang
Spike: Colin, Lynda's here tonight. It's very important for her to make a good impression, and it's not going to look too good if her financial advisor is here dressed as an Arabian night trying to sell oil fields under the high school!
TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda: I think you're getting the wrong idea about this kiss.
Spike: I'm not, Lynda, honest. It's just a kiss between friends, right? A thank you kiss. It doesn't mean a thing - I know that.
Lynda: I knew you were getting the wrong idea.
Spike: I'm not, Lynda, honest. It's just a kiss between friends, right? A thank you kiss. It doesn't mean a thing - I know that.
Lynda: I knew you were getting the wrong idea.
TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda [to Spike, on the window ledge]: Spike, this is stupid. You could have an accident.
Spike: I'll be okay.
Lynda: You don't know what I have in mind.
Spike: I'll be okay.
Lynda: You don't know what I have in mind.
TV Show: Press Gang
Spike: Lynda, going out together usually involves - and this may surprise you - going out together. Like dates and stuff. Like maybe even seeing one another occasionally. I know, it was in Biology.
TV Show: Press Gang
Spike: I mean, what have I got out of this so far? I'll tell you, Lynda! Five lousy kisses! I counted.
Lynda: Is that why I felt your lips move? What do you mean, lousy kisses?
Spike: I mean forgetting to take the pencil out of your mouth first. That loses you points, Lynda. Of course, you gain a few for helping me get it out of my nose afterwards. And washing all the blood off my shirt. And the walls.
Lynda: Is that why I felt your lips move? What do you mean, lousy kisses?
Spike: I mean forgetting to take the pencil out of your mouth first. That loses you points, Lynda. Of course, you gain a few for helping me get it out of my nose afterwards. And washing all the blood off my shirt. And the walls.
TV Show: Press Gang
Malcolm Bullivant: I'm not staying. But I've got to kill someone before I go.
Kenny: I see, yes - must be a tough habit to break. Listen, couldn't you just skip today's murder and do two tomorrow?
Kenny: I see, yes - must be a tough habit to break. Listen, couldn't you just skip today's murder and do two tomorrow?
TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda: Got a minute?
Kenny: Actually, no. There's someone here to kill Colin.
Lynda: Well, I'm sure he can manage it without you.
Kenny: Actually, no. There's someone here to kill Colin.
Lynda: Well, I'm sure he can manage it without you.
TV Show: Press Gang
Colin [on his sister]: She's always got chocolate. We have to keep feeding her sweets so she won't eat the furniture.
TV Show: Press Gang
Colin: So, you didn't think your black belt in judo was worth mentioning?
Benjamin: Well, I thought people would be more interested in the train-spotting angle.
Benjamin: Well, I thought people would be more interested in the train-spotting angle.
TV Show: Press Gang
Colin: So, who hates me enough to want me battered senseless by Malcolm the shaving gorilla?
Frazz: Shall I get the list?
Frazz: Shall I get the list?
TV Show: Press Gang