Press Gang Quotes
Tiddler: Colin, what does a rabbit mean to you?
Colin: A four-pack of lucky feet.
Colin: A four-pack of lucky feet.
TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda [feeding her goldfish]: Come on, eat your food, Sullivan. You won't grow up to be a shark if you don't eat your food.
TV Show: Press Gang
[Chrissie wants to know what's going on at the Junior Gazette]
Sam: Well, Spike and Lynda are pretending they're not going out with each other, and we're pretending we don't know.
Kenny: I haven't had so much fun since she sprained her arm in Primary Five.
Chrissie: Explain something to me, Kenny. You two are supposed to be the best of friends. How come you enjoyed her spraining her arm?
Kenny: We are the best of friends. She was trying to push me out of a window at the time."
Sam: Well, Spike and Lynda are pretending they're not going out with each other, and we're pretending we don't know.
Kenny: I haven't had so much fun since she sprained her arm in Primary Five.
Chrissie: Explain something to me, Kenny. You two are supposed to be the best of friends. How come you enjoyed her spraining her arm?
Kenny: We are the best of friends. She was trying to push me out of a window at the time."
TV Show: Press Gang
Mrs Day: She didn't push you out of the window, did she?
Spike: No. I jumped.
Mrs Day: I know how you feel...
Spike: No. I jumped.
Mrs Day: I know how you feel...
TV Show: Press Gang
Frazz: In love? With Attila the Skirt?
Spike: You got it!
Frazz: Tell me one thing, Spike. Does she kiss with her teeth?
Spike: That's a painful subject.
Spike: You got it!
Frazz: Tell me one thing, Spike. Does she kiss with her teeth?
Spike: That's a painful subject.
TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda: One thing I've always wondered about you, Graham. When you wake up in the morning, how do you tell?
TV Show: Press Gang
Sam: Hi, Spike! How's the latest brunette?
Spike: Sam, she's not just my latest brunette.
Sam: I didn't mean your latest brunette, Spike - I meant hers. So, how are you, Spike?
Spike: Sam, she's not just my latest brunette.
Sam: I didn't mean your latest brunette, Spike - I meant hers. So, how are you, Spike?
TV Show: Press Gang
Colin: No, I mean straight! Really! Look, I know how I sound. I open my mouth, and it's a hustle! I can't help that. But this is not for me. Just this once I'm not pulling something.
TV Show: Press Gang
Miss McGuigan: Colin thinks there might be a radioactive lizard in the filing cabinet.
Mr Sullivan: Again?
Mr Sullivan: Again?
TV Show: Press Gang
Colin: Can I talk to you seriously for a moment?
Mr Sullivan: I very much doubt it.
Mr Sullivan: I very much doubt it.
TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda: Colin, I want the books. And I don't want to hear how they've been eaten by your cat, or how they were stolen by a roving band of deranged accountants, or how the recent stock market collapse in New Guinea has rendered the figures meaningless in a very real sense. I want the books now!
TV Show: Press Gang
Colin: I'm no use. You know what I am? I'm a pink rabbit at a funeral. I'm a radioactive lizard in a filing cabinet. I'm the guy who tried to market the inflatable telephone for the poolside executive. My own mother doesn't believe a word I say without three independent witnesses and a death threat.
TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda: I was just going up these stairs.
Colin: Right.
Lynda: No particular reason.
Colin: You said.
Lynda: Well, I'll just go up them, then.
Spike [arriving]: I was just going up these stairs. No particular reason or anything.
Lynda: Me neither.
Spike: Is that right?
Lynda: What a coincidence?
Spike: It's just amazing!
Colin: Look, would you both mind? You're both very cute and everything, I mean if you're selling the film rights to this little romance, I'm in, but just at the moment I really don't want to listen to it.
Colin: Right.
Lynda: No particular reason.
Colin: You said.
Lynda: Well, I'll just go up them, then.
Spike [arriving]: I was just going up these stairs. No particular reason or anything.
Lynda: Me neither.
Spike: Is that right?
Lynda: What a coincidence?
Spike: It's just amazing!
Colin: Look, would you both mind? You're both very cute and everything, I mean if you're selling the film rights to this little romance, I'm in, but just at the moment I really don't want to listen to it.
TV Show: Press Gang
Colin: Of all the people I thought would notice...
Lynda: I'm the last?
Colin: And of all the people I thought would care...
Lynda: I'm not sure I do care - I don't know what your problem is yet. But I do know it's serious.
Colin: And how do you know that?
Lynda: Because you live for what you do. You live to hustle, right?
Colin: Well, sure. So?
Lynda: It's like you live for your work. Like there's nothing outside of that. No social life, nothing. And, of course, there's your appalling dress sense.
Colin: What's appalling dress sense got to do with it?
Lynda: I'm trying to think of everything we have in common. The point I'm making is this. I know how an obsessive behaves. Because I am one. And I know how much it takes to knock an obsessive off the tracks because I've been there.
Lynda: I'm the last?
Colin: And of all the people I thought would care...
Lynda: I'm not sure I do care - I don't know what your problem is yet. But I do know it's serious.
Colin: And how do you know that?
Lynda: Because you live for what you do. You live to hustle, right?
Colin: Well, sure. So?
Lynda: It's like you live for your work. Like there's nothing outside of that. No social life, nothing. And, of course, there's your appalling dress sense.
Colin: What's appalling dress sense got to do with it?
Lynda: I'm trying to think of everything we have in common. The point I'm making is this. I know how an obsessive behaves. Because I am one. And I know how much it takes to knock an obsessive off the tracks because I've been there.
TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda [to Colin]: You're right, you're a salesman - the best salesman I've ever met. So sell!
TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda [on the phone]: I want you in at five, as well, okay?
Kenny: Couldn't I come in any earlier? I hate having a proper night's sleep. I start getting used to it.
Lynda: Okay, half-past four.
Kenny: Couldn't I come in any earlier? I hate having a proper night's sleep. I start getting used to it.
Lynda: Okay, half-past four.
TV Show: Press Gang
Sarah [on Colin]: He's actually quite intelligent, isn't he?
Lynda: It's just a phase.
Lynda: It's just a phase.
TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda [to Colin]: I just wanted to say. You're an immoral, dishonest, tasteless little hustler - but you're okay.
TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda : I've had my day off now. Can I come in?
Kenny: It's still the morning.
Lynda : I got up early.
Kenny: Look, Lynda, make the effort. Relax.
Lynda : Have Spike wrapped and delivered. I'm bored.
Kenny: It's still the morning.
Lynda : I got up early.
Kenny: Look, Lynda, make the effort. Relax.
Lynda : Have Spike wrapped and delivered. I'm bored.
TV Show: Press Gang
Sam [to Kenny]: So, boss, how's power? Still talking to the little people?
Kenny: Yeah, sure. By the way, who are you?
Kenny: Yeah, sure. By the way, who are you?
TV Show: Press Gang
Sarah: Can you explain to me how I have just argued myself into doing exactly what you wanted me to do in the first place? You are a devious, unfeeling, calculating, manipulative bitch.
Lynda : Well you were asking what made me a better choice for editor.
Lynda : Well you were asking what made me a better choice for editor.
TV Show: Press Gang
Colin [dressed as an alien]: Kenny. Can we talk?
Kenny : You know, I’ve always wondered what planet you were on.
Kenny : You know, I’ve always wondered what planet you were on.
TV Show: Press Gang
Kenny: I'm not going to let you go to pieces while there is nothing to go to pieces about.
Lynda: So what are you saying, I should go in there and edit a newspaper?
Kenny: Put it this way, what would Spike want you to do?
Lynda: The usual. Wear tighter clothes and show more cleavage.
Kenny: Well, are you going to give into that kind of rubbish?
Lynda: If you weren’t such a perfect friend, I could like you better. And, by the way, I don’t mean that.
Kenny: Oh, I’ll get over it. You’re only calling me perfect because you’re mad at me.
Lynda: So what are you saying, I should go in there and edit a newspaper?
Kenny: Put it this way, what would Spike want you to do?
Lynda: The usual. Wear tighter clothes and show more cleavage.
Kenny: Well, are you going to give into that kind of rubbish?
Lynda: If you weren’t such a perfect friend, I could like you better. And, by the way, I don’t mean that.
Kenny: Oh, I’ll get over it. You’re only calling me perfect because you’re mad at me.
TV Show: Press Gang
Kenny: We'll need a lot of ten pences.
Lynda [handing him the swear box]: Didn't anyone ever tell you money is dirty word?
Kenny: Why did I ever doubt you, boss?
Lynda [handing him the swear box]: Didn't anyone ever tell you money is dirty word?
Kenny: Why did I ever doubt you, boss?
TV Show: Press Gang
Kenny: Lynda, I really don't think this is a good idea.
Lynda: When I say you're in charge, you're in charge, Kenny!
Lynda: When I say you're in charge, you're in charge, Kenny!
TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda: Do we have to involve the entire newsroom in any little fight we have?
Spike: I don't know. Shall we take a vote?
Spike: I don't know. Shall we take a vote?
TV Show: Press Gang
Sam: [asking for extra concessions] And how about Lynda Day strung up by her ankles?
Kenny: No problem. I believe it's how she sleeps.
Kenny: No problem. I believe it's how she sleeps.
TV Show: Press Gang