Red vs. Blue Quote
Sarge: Why, hello! I'm Sarge from the popular webseries, Red vs. Blue.
Simmons: And I'm Private Dick Simmons from the same show. Recently, the Red vs. Blue production offices suffered a major fire that threatened to burn down an entire city block.
Sarge: Hmm, allegedly.
Simmons: So, our producers, and the judge, thought it would be a valuable service to the community if we made a PSA describing what we learned from the event.
[Cut to Hologram Room.]
Sarge: So today, we'll be presenting Red vs. Blue's "Fire Safety Tips".
Simmons: You may be asking yourself, "What is fire?" If you're asking that, it's because you're an idiot. You're probably also asking things like, "What am the sky?" and, "How does eat food?" Even cavemen knew what fire was you dumbass.
Sarge: And sure, you may know what fire is, but can you tell if something you own is on fire? You should look for the following signs: 1. Smoke
2. Heat
3. Fire
Sarge: Things that are on fire, typically have fire on them. It's a dead giveaway.
Simmons: So, what do you do if you're caught in a fire? We've assembled a quick list of tips to remember if you ever find yourself in a raging inferno.
Sarge: Step 1. Panic. Any modern scientist will tell you that fire requires and oxygen environment to burn. That same scientist will also tell you that the human body expels carbon dioxide with every breath. So screaming and panicking will rob a fire of its vital nutrients, thus putting it out.
Simmons: This tactic will vary based on the size of the fire. A very small flame will only require a minor amount of panic.
[Cut to Caboose standing in front of a fire.]
Caboose: I am somewhat concerned they are going to make another Indiana Jones movie. [The fire disappears.]
[Cut back to Sarge and Simmons
Simmons: And I'm Private Dick Simmons from the same show. Recently, the Red vs. Blue production offices suffered a major fire that threatened to burn down an entire city block.
Sarge: Hmm, allegedly.
Simmons: So, our producers, and the judge, thought it would be a valuable service to the community if we made a PSA describing what we learned from the event.
[Cut to Hologram Room.]
Sarge: So today, we'll be presenting Red vs. Blue's "Fire Safety Tips".
Simmons: You may be asking yourself, "What is fire?" If you're asking that, it's because you're an idiot. You're probably also asking things like, "What am the sky?" and, "How does eat food?" Even cavemen knew what fire was you dumbass.
Sarge: And sure, you may know what fire is, but can you tell if something you own is on fire? You should look for the following signs: 1. Smoke
2. Heat
3. Fire
Sarge: Things that are on fire, typically have fire on them. It's a dead giveaway.
Simmons: So, what do you do if you're caught in a fire? We've assembled a quick list of tips to remember if you ever find yourself in a raging inferno.
Sarge: Step 1. Panic. Any modern scientist will tell you that fire requires and oxygen environment to burn. That same scientist will also tell you that the human body expels carbon dioxide with every breath. So screaming and panicking will rob a fire of its vital nutrients, thus putting it out.
Simmons: This tactic will vary based on the size of the fire. A very small flame will only require a minor amount of panic.
[Cut to Caboose standing in front of a fire.]
Caboose: I am somewhat concerned they are going to make another Indiana Jones movie. [The fire disappears.]
[Cut back to Sarge and Simmons
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
