Red vs. Blue Quotes
[Sarge boosts Caboose to look through a window]
Caboose: Whoa!
Sarge: What do you see?
Caboose: I see... a room.
Sarge: And? What's in the room?
Caboose: There are some walls, and some ceilings... wait! Just one ceiling.
Sarge: What's making all that racket?
Blue Soldiers: Kill the reds! Kill the reds! Kill the reds! Kill the reds! Kill the reds!
Caboose: You are not going to like it.
Caboose: Whoa!
Sarge: What do you see?
Caboose: I see... a room.
Sarge: And? What's in the room?
Caboose: There are some walls, and some ceilings... wait! Just one ceiling.
Sarge: What's making all that racket?
Blue Soldiers: Kill the reds! Kill the reds! Kill the reds! Kill the reds! Kill the reds!
Caboose: You are not going to like it.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
[Camera goes back to both Sarge and Caboose]
Sarge: Caboose, I have a veery bad feeling ab-[Sarge notices the trumpet playing again]...What's that?
[Blues come running out of their base, firing weapons madly in all directions]
Blue Soldiers: Chaaarge! Chaaaarge! Yeaaaah! Woo-hoo!
[Red Soldiers run out of their base, also firing their weapons madly in all directions screamin taunts]
Sarge: Come on Caboose! We got to get to higher ground!
Blue Soldier: Yeah, I love reloading, I love to reload!
[Red Soldier pops up and hits him in the back of the head]
Blue Soldier: Oh! Back of the head! Tell my girlfriend that I love her...
Red Soldier: She's my girlfriend now bitch!
Sarge: Come on Caboose! [Sarge and Caboose climb a ladder to a cliff above]
[From their new vantage point, Caboose and Sarge view the scene below them: Multiple reds and blues shooting non-stop at each other]
Various Soldiers: Yeah, get some! You want some!?
Caboose: Sarge, I am scared of our new friends.
Sarge: Ah, sonny-bo-no, what's going on here?
[Trumpet plays once and a Red carrying a blue flag runs out of the blue base]
Sarge: Caboose, I have a veery bad feeling ab-[Sarge notices the trumpet playing again]...What's that?
[Blues come running out of their base, firing weapons madly in all directions]
Blue Soldiers: Chaaarge! Chaaaarge! Yeaaaah! Woo-hoo!
[Red Soldiers run out of their base, also firing their weapons madly in all directions screamin taunts]
Sarge: Come on Caboose! We got to get to higher ground!
Blue Soldier: Yeah, I love reloading, I love to reload!
[Red Soldier pops up and hits him in the back of the head]
Blue Soldier: Oh! Back of the head! Tell my girlfriend that I love her...
Red Soldier: She's my girlfriend now bitch!
Sarge: Come on Caboose! [Sarge and Caboose climb a ladder to a cliff above]
[From their new vantage point, Caboose and Sarge view the scene below them: Multiple reds and blues shooting non-stop at each other]
Various Soldiers: Yeah, get some! You want some!?
Caboose: Sarge, I am scared of our new friends.
Sarge: Ah, sonny-bo-no, what's going on here?
[Trumpet plays once and a Red carrying a blue flag runs out of the blue base]
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Red Zealot: Stop fighting, stop fighting everyone, stop fighting! [everyone stops shooting and looks at him]
Random Soldier: You all look alike to me!
Red Zealot: Everyone, everyone, look unto me! I possess the blue flag!
Red Soldier: It's more beautiful than I ever imagined!
Red Zealot: I have seen the top of the mountain! And you will worship me as though I were a god!
[Four Blue soldiers run in and kill him]
Red Zealot: I regret nothing! I lived as few men dare to dream!
[The Reds and Blues look between the dead Zealot and each other a few times and continue to shoot at each other]
Random Soldier: You all look alike to me!
Red Zealot: Everyone, everyone, look unto me! I possess the blue flag!
Red Soldier: It's more beautiful than I ever imagined!
Red Zealot: I have seen the top of the mountain! And you will worship me as though I were a god!
[Four Blue soldiers run in and kill him]
Red Zealot: I regret nothing! I lived as few men dare to dream!
[The Reds and Blues look between the dead Zealot and each other a few times and continue to shoot at each other]
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
[A red soldier runs up behind a blue and kills him]
Red Soldier: Oh yeah! Oh no!
[The soldier gets killed by a sniper shot to the head]
Blue Sniper: Head shot! [The sniper gets hit by a rocket] Oh! You rocket whore!
Blue Soldier: Yeah! You want some!? I got some for you! How 'bout you?
Red Soldier: The only good blue is a dead blue!
Red Soldier: Christ, this water's cold!
Red and Blue Soldiers Alternating, while shooting over a rock at each other: Hey, ho, hey, ho, hey, ho, hey, YO!
[The Blue soldier gets hit by a rocket]
Red Soldier: Weak! You took my kill!
Rocket Red Soldier: I didn't see your name on it!
[As the Rocket Soldier runs past a rock, he gets shot and killed by a blue hiding behind the rock]
Rocket Soldier: Oh, you fucking camping bitch!
Blue Camper: It's a legitimate strategy!
[The blue runs away, and when he runs out from behind a rock, he almost gets hit by a sniper shot]
Blue Camper: Whoa!
Red Sniper: Damn! Hey Blue, we're the only two left, let's work together!
Blue Camper: What do you mean?
Red Sniper: I'm coming out!
Blue Camper: Okay, I'm coming out too!
[The two meet in the middle of the creek]
Blue Camper: What did you mean we could work as a team?
[The Red Sniper smashes his rifle into the Blue Camper's head, killing him]
Red Sniper: I bash you in the head with my rifle, and you die! Good teamwork, you fucking noob! Good game! Good game everybody, GG man, GG! [The Sniper dies with no cause] Blah!
Sarge: I have no earthly idea what it is I just saw, or what this place is, or where in the hell O'Malley is!
Red Soldier: Oh yeah! Oh no!
[The soldier gets killed by a sniper shot to the head]
Blue Sniper: Head shot! [The sniper gets hit by a rocket] Oh! You rocket whore!
Blue Soldier: Yeah! You want some!? I got some for you! How 'bout you?
Red Soldier: The only good blue is a dead blue!
Red Soldier: Christ, this water's cold!
Red and Blue Soldiers Alternating, while shooting over a rock at each other: Hey, ho, hey, ho, hey, ho, hey, YO!
[The Blue soldier gets hit by a rocket]
Red Soldier: Weak! You took my kill!
Rocket Red Soldier: I didn't see your name on it!
[As the Rocket Soldier runs past a rock, he gets shot and killed by a blue hiding behind the rock]
Rocket Soldier: Oh, you fucking camping bitch!
Blue Camper: It's a legitimate strategy!
[The blue runs away, and when he runs out from behind a rock, he almost gets hit by a sniper shot]
Blue Camper: Whoa!
Red Sniper: Damn! Hey Blue, we're the only two left, let's work together!
Blue Camper: What do you mean?
Red Sniper: I'm coming out!
Blue Camper: Okay, I'm coming out too!
[The two meet in the middle of the creek]
Blue Camper: What did you mean we could work as a team?
[The Red Sniper smashes his rifle into the Blue Camper's head, killing him]
Red Sniper: I bash you in the head with my rifle, and you die! Good teamwork, you fucking noob! Good game! Good game everybody, GG man, GG! [The Sniper dies with no cause] Blah!
Sarge: I have no earthly idea what it is I just saw, or what this place is, or where in the hell O'Malley is!
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
[Camera shifts to a new map, Sidewinder]
Church: Hey, asshole, for the last time, LET ME OUT OF THIS GOD DAMNED JAIL CELL!
Grif: Yeah, let him out! He's driving me nuts!
Church: Oh shut up red, nobody asked you!
Grif: I should have never listened to Donut's stupid fucking plan...
Church: Hey, asshole, for the last time, LET ME OUT OF THIS GOD DAMNED JAIL CELL!
Grif: Yeah, let him out! He's driving me nuts!
Church: Oh shut up red, nobody asked you!
Grif: I should have never listened to Donut's stupid fucking plan...
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
[Sarge and Caboose's negotiation fails and the grunts continue to kill each other]
Sarge: Caboose, I give up...
Caboose: Wait! I can make them listen. I can beat them!
Sarge: Son, What are you talkin' about?
Caboose: O'Malley taught me how to be mean! I just have to (grunting) concentrate, on, bad, things, like milk! No, wait, red... Red Bull!
Sarge: Son, I think you may have lost it. O'Malley is not inside your head anymore! He infected the Doc!
Caboose: No, I can feel him! I just need to get angry and say, mean, things, like Your, brain, is, a mountain, of hatred!
Sarge: I never thought I'd reach the moment in my life when I actually miss Grif...But here it is.
Caboose: Now, I, am, thinking, about... kittens! Guh, kit-tens, cov-ered in spikes! That makes, me, angry!
[Caboose lets out a primal scream as he leaps down among Battle Creek players]
Caboose: Yearh!
[He lands]
Caboose: My name is Michael J. Caboose, and I hate babies!
Red Zealot: It's the beast! The anti-flag, come to live among us and rule us for seven years! The end is nigh! [gets killed by "Evil Caboose"] Dyhurg!
Blue Soldier: [killed] Yikes!
Red Soldier: [killed] Yowzaa!
Red, Blue, Red Soldiers: [they are standing in a row, Caboose mows them dow with sniper rifle] Ow! Wee! Wow!
Sarge: Caboose, I give up...
Caboose: Wait! I can make them listen. I can beat them!
Sarge: Son, What are you talkin' about?
Caboose: O'Malley taught me how to be mean! I just have to (grunting) concentrate, on, bad, things, like milk! No, wait, red... Red Bull!
Sarge: Son, I think you may have lost it. O'Malley is not inside your head anymore! He infected the Doc!
Caboose: No, I can feel him! I just need to get angry and say, mean, things, like Your, brain, is, a mountain, of hatred!
Sarge: I never thought I'd reach the moment in my life when I actually miss Grif...But here it is.
Caboose: Now, I, am, thinking, about... kittens! Guh, kit-tens, cov-ered in spikes! That makes, me, angry!
[Caboose lets out a primal scream as he leaps down among Battle Creek players]
Caboose: Yearh!
[He lands]
Caboose: My name is Michael J. Caboose, and I hate babies!
Red Zealot: It's the beast! The anti-flag, come to live among us and rule us for seven years! The end is nigh! [gets killed by "Evil Caboose"] Dyhurg!
Blue Soldier: [killed] Yikes!
Red Soldier: [killed] Yowzaa!
Red, Blue, Red Soldiers: [they are standing in a row, Caboose mows them dow with sniper rifle] Ow! Wee! Wow!
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Caboose: Your toast has been burned and no amount of scraping will remove the black parts.
Sarge: Aww shut up Caboose!
Sarge: Aww shut up Caboose!
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
[Simmons has saved Sarge and Caboose from Battle Creek]
Caboose: What happened? The last thing I remember was a very mean kitten, and then we were in this janitor's closet, and my throat hurts, a lot.
Simmons: What was that weird place Sarge?
Sarge: Simmons, I have absolutely no idea.
Caboose: What happened? The last thing I remember was a very mean kitten, and then we were in this janitor's closet, and my throat hurts, a lot.
Simmons: What was that weird place Sarge?
Sarge: Simmons, I have absolutely no idea.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
[The Battle Creek teams confront each other]
Red Grunt: Well, I guess it's back to basics now! Get ready for destruction, Blues! We're gonna kick your ass! We have become death, destroyer of wo— Oh wait, hold on. I gotta take out the trash; I'll be right back.
Red Grunt: Well, I guess it's back to basics now! Get ready for destruction, Blues! We're gonna kick your ass! We have become death, destroyer of wo— Oh wait, hold on. I gotta take out the trash; I'll be right back.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
[O'Malley calls Vic and encounters his answering service]
O'Malley: Vic, pick up, it's me, [evil laughter].
Vic: Oh hey, Doctor Baron von Evil Satan. What's up, dude?
O'Malley: Don't screen my calls, Vic.
Vic: Dude, if you don't come up on Caller ID I'm not just gonna answer anything—
O'Malley: Caller ID? I'm in hiding, you buffoon! I'm trying to take over the Universe! [evil laughter]
Doc: We're also on the "Do Not Call" list.
O'Malley: Oh, Shut up!
O'Malley: Vic, pick up, it's me, [evil laughter].
Vic: Oh hey, Doctor Baron von Evil Satan. What's up, dude?
O'Malley: Don't screen my calls, Vic.
Vic: Dude, if you don't come up on Caller ID I'm not just gonna answer anything—
O'Malley: Caller ID? I'm in hiding, you buffoon! I'm trying to take over the Universe! [evil laughter]
Doc: We're also on the "Do Not Call" list.
O'Malley: Oh, Shut up!
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Tex: keeping secrets? I find that attractive...
Tucker: you do?
Tex: in attractive people, yeah
Tucker: you do?
Tex: in attractive people, yeah
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Tex: everybody in the division was paired with an AI and codenamed for a state
Donut: what was your code name Tex?
Tex: Nevada
Tucker: One for each state? So there's fifty of you.
Tex: Forty-nine. Remember?
Tucker: Ooh, yeah. That's right. Man, poor Florida. (Tex, Donut, and Tucker all stare at the ground and take a moment of silence) Sigh...
Tucker: OK , Anyway.
Donut: what was your code name Tex?
Tex: Nevada
Tucker: One for each state? So there's fifty of you.
Tex: Forty-nine. Remember?
Tucker: Ooh, yeah. That's right. Man, poor Florida. (Tex, Donut, and Tucker all stare at the ground and take a moment of silence) Sigh...
Tucker: OK , Anyway.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Church: There's no "I" in team, Grif.
Grif: Yeah, there's no "U" either. So I guess if I'm not on the team, and you're not on the team, nobody's on the god-damn team. The team sucks!
Grif: Yeah, there's no "U" either. So I guess if I'm not on the team, and you're not on the team, nobody's on the god-damn team. The team sucks!
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Sarge: Don't worry Grif and Church, here comes the cavalry! YAAA! [jumps through the teleporter and reappears a short distance away] AAAA-huh?
Simmons: Uh sir, the teleporter I reprogrammed is over there.
Sarge: Oh. Watch out evildoers! Here we come to save the- oh forget it, lets just go.
Simmons: Uh sir, the teleporter I reprogrammed is over there.
Sarge: Oh. Watch out evildoers! Here we come to save the- oh forget it, lets just go.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Sheila: Good luck everyone. I packed you all lunches for the trip.
Tucker: Thanks Sheila, that was really nice of you.
Donut: Not really. All my bag had was an air filter and a thermos full of brake fluid.
Sheila: Don't forget to wash your exhaust pipe every day.
Tucker: Thanks Sheila, that was really nice of you.
Donut: Not really. All my bag had was an air filter and a thermos full of brake fluid.
Sheila: Don't forget to wash your exhaust pipe every day.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Grif: What can I do Sarge?
Sarge: I need you to run right at O'Malley.
Grif: And shank him with my shiv?
Sarge: No, when he blows you up with a rocket, try to see if you can get your dismembered limbs and guts to clog the barrels of his rocket launcher.
Grif: You're kidding?
Sarge: It's a remote chance, I know, but it's worth a shot.
O'Malley: (Catching the two behind a rock) OBLIVION IS AT HAND! HA HA!
Doc: (Points the rocket launcher at them) Cover your ears guys. This thing is really loud.
Grif: This is it!
Simmons: Not so fast O'Malley! (Everyone turns to Simmons) Maybe we can't stop you, but I know who can! (A teleporter comes from nowhere, letting in the Zealot Solders)
Blue Solders: ALRIGHT, NEW LEVEL! YEAH!
All the Zealot Solders: YAHOO! YAHOO! YEAH!
Simmons: Hey guys, you want your flag? (All the zealots turn to Simmons) He's the one who has it! (Screen panel turns to O'Malley)
Red Zealot: (Zealots turn to O'Malley) The crusade has begun! Our hour of glory is now at hand! Let all who would stand against us be washed in our divine light! (All the Zealots shoot at O'Malley)
O'Malley: NO, GET, GET AWAY FROM ME! NO, MY POWER IS DROPPING, STOP, DOWN!
Simmons: We need to disarm Church's bomb Sarge.
Sarge: Right.
Church: (Church gets struck by lightning) Yow woo hoo hoo! (Reds run up to Church)
Sarge: Hold still son, this will just take a second. (Sarge kneels down to Church's crotch)
Church: Seriously, don't you ever install anything above the waist? (Sarge pops up again)
Sarge: OH NO! That last lightning bolt fused the detonator! There's no way to turn this thing off!
Simmons: Can you do it manually?
Sarge: Impossible. I specifica
Sarge: I need you to run right at O'Malley.
Grif: And shank him with my shiv?
Sarge: No, when he blows you up with a rocket, try to see if you can get your dismembered limbs and guts to clog the barrels of his rocket launcher.
Grif: You're kidding?
Sarge: It's a remote chance, I know, but it's worth a shot.
O'Malley: (Catching the two behind a rock) OBLIVION IS AT HAND! HA HA!
Doc: (Points the rocket launcher at them) Cover your ears guys. This thing is really loud.
Grif: This is it!
Simmons: Not so fast O'Malley! (Everyone turns to Simmons) Maybe we can't stop you, but I know who can! (A teleporter comes from nowhere, letting in the Zealot Solders)
Blue Solders: ALRIGHT, NEW LEVEL! YEAH!
All the Zealot Solders: YAHOO! YAHOO! YEAH!
Simmons: Hey guys, you want your flag? (All the zealots turn to Simmons) He's the one who has it! (Screen panel turns to O'Malley)
Red Zealot: (Zealots turn to O'Malley) The crusade has begun! Our hour of glory is now at hand! Let all who would stand against us be washed in our divine light! (All the Zealots shoot at O'Malley)
O'Malley: NO, GET, GET AWAY FROM ME! NO, MY POWER IS DROPPING, STOP, DOWN!
Simmons: We need to disarm Church's bomb Sarge.
Sarge: Right.
Church: (Church gets struck by lightning) Yow woo hoo hoo! (Reds run up to Church)
Sarge: Hold still son, this will just take a second. (Sarge kneels down to Church's crotch)
Church: Seriously, don't you ever install anything above the waist? (Sarge pops up again)
Sarge: OH NO! That last lightning bolt fused the detonator! There's no way to turn this thing off!
Simmons: Can you do it manually?
Sarge: Impossible. I specifica
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Tucker: What's going on? Who are you people?
Donut: He has amnesia! Tucker! Don't worry. You are safe. We're the reds, we are your mortal enemies. Wait. That didn't sound right.
Caboose: Tucker! Tucker! I am so glad you are alive.
Tucker: Caboose? Still so dumb, but you look so different.
Caboose: We're in the future! Things are very shiny here.
Tucker: The future? Oh, I can't fucking wait to hear this one.
Donut: He has amnesia! Tucker! Don't worry. You are safe. We're the reds, we are your mortal enemies. Wait. That didn't sound right.
Caboose: Tucker! Tucker! I am so glad you are alive.
Tucker: Caboose? Still so dumb, but you look so different.
Caboose: We're in the future! Things are very shiny here.
Tucker: The future? Oh, I can't fucking wait to hear this one.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Sarge: I represent the past, where stuff cost less and people knew the value of a hard days work, but they only lived to be 28 years old.
Simmons: I represent the future where we have no morals and no emotions, but we have a lot of kick-ass gadgets.
Grif: And I'm the present which sucks. We have nothing cool and also no morals.
Simmons: I represent the future where we have no morals and no emotions, but we have a lot of kick-ass gadgets.
Grif: And I'm the present which sucks. We have nothing cool and also no morals.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Sarge: Ah, quit yer bitching. I have atrocities and a crapload of wars which seemed very important at the time, but now seem trivial and stupid.
Simmons: Yeah, and I have apocalypse. That's way worse than anything you two dipshits have! ...Sorry sir, that "dipshits" was in character.
Sarge: Oh. Well, bravo Simmons.
Simmons: Yeah, and I have apocalypse. That's way worse than anything you two dipshits have! ...Sorry sir, that "dipshits" was in character.
Sarge: Oh. Well, bravo Simmons.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Tucker: Destroyed the present? Then where are we?
Simmons: We're in the future numbnuts.
Tucker: Aren't we in the present right now? Aren't we always in the present?
Simmons: Unbelievable, he can't cope with the loss. He's in denial.
Simmons: We're in the future numbnuts.
Tucker: Aren't we in the present right now? Aren't we always in the present?
Simmons: Unbelievable, he can't cope with the loss. He's in denial.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Simmons: The bomb attached to Church sent us into the future. Good thing he was facing forward at the time.
Tucker: Of course he was facing forward, what other way do people face?
Tucker: Of course he was facing forward, what other way do people face?
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Tucker: Don't you see? If Church was facing forward during the explosion, and that blew us in to the future, that could mean that he was blown backward in to the... oh no!
Sarge: Back in to what? A wall? A broom closet?
Grif: A big rock?
Caboose: Another big rock!
Sarge: Back in to what? A wall? A broom closet?
Grif: A big rock?
Caboose: Another big rock!
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Church: (after being hurled into a Marathon game from 1995) What the Hell! Where the Hell am I?!
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Grif: They destroyed it all Simmons, those damn stupid bastards, they blew it all up! Damn them! Damn them to hell! Those damn dirty apes!!!
Simmons: Calm down Grif, we don't know that the whole world is like this.
Grif: Yes it is, they destroyed it all. I guess the society of men just wasn't meant to survive.
Simmons: Hey how about this, how about we explore more than 2 square miles before we jump to any conclusions?
Grif: It was definitely nuclear weapons, that's what did it. And the explosions caused massive power outages that caused the failsafe to fail, which released a super bacteria from a secret lab!
Simmons: Oh come on!
Grif: Then that caused a human plague, and as the victims died, they rose from the dead 12 hours later to roam the Earth and feast on human flesh!
Simmons: WHAT???
Grif: A handful of witty survivors from all walks of life were able to keep the legions of the infected radioactive undead at bay, using only their wits and an inexplicable comphrehension of agricultural science and engineering. Everything was looking good. And that's when the meteor hit!
Simmons: I think you just quoted every crappy Hollywood apocalypse movie ever.
Tucker: Hollywood doesn't understand apocalypse. They think that just one thing from everyday life goes away and that changes everything. Like in Road Warrior it was gas, and in Waterworld it was land.
Simmons: What went away in The Matrix?
Tucker: Sunlight.
Grif: I thought the missing element was plot.
Tucker: I'm talking about Matrix 1.
Simmons: Oh, right.
Simmons: Calm down Grif, we don't know that the whole world is like this.
Grif: Yes it is, they destroyed it all. I guess the society of men just wasn't meant to survive.
Simmons: Hey how about this, how about we explore more than 2 square miles before we jump to any conclusions?
Grif: It was definitely nuclear weapons, that's what did it. And the explosions caused massive power outages that caused the failsafe to fail, which released a super bacteria from a secret lab!
Simmons: Oh come on!
Grif: Then that caused a human plague, and as the victims died, they rose from the dead 12 hours later to roam the Earth and feast on human flesh!
Simmons: WHAT???
Grif: A handful of witty survivors from all walks of life were able to keep the legions of the infected radioactive undead at bay, using only their wits and an inexplicable comphrehension of agricultural science and engineering. Everything was looking good. And that's when the meteor hit!
Simmons: I think you just quoted every crappy Hollywood apocalypse movie ever.
Tucker: Hollywood doesn't understand apocalypse. They think that just one thing from everyday life goes away and that changes everything. Like in Road Warrior it was gas, and in Waterworld it was land.
Simmons: What went away in The Matrix?
Tucker: Sunlight.
Grif: I thought the missing element was plot.
Tucker: I'm talking about Matrix 1.
Simmons: Oh, right.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Grif: Face it Simmons, the age of Man is done.
Simmons: But if all that happened, where are the zombies? Why aren't they still around?
Grif: The meteor killed them!!!
Simmons: And what about the super bacteria?
Grif: It was infected by alien bacteria that was on the meteor and was wiped out in a massive bacteria-on-bacteria plague! Very ironic...
Simmons: Ok then why haven't we been infected by the new alien bacteria?
Grif: It only infects other bacteria! Are you even listening to me!?!
Tucker: Do you guys ever get anything done? Or do you just stand around and talk all day?
Grif: We don't get paid enough to do stuff.
Simmons: But if all that happened, where are the zombies? Why aren't they still around?
Grif: The meteor killed them!!!
Simmons: And what about the super bacteria?
Grif: It was infected by alien bacteria that was on the meteor and was wiped out in a massive bacteria-on-bacteria plague! Very ironic...
Simmons: Ok then why haven't we been infected by the new alien bacteria?
Grif: It only infects other bacteria! Are you even listening to me!?!
Tucker: Do you guys ever get anything done? Or do you just stand around and talk all day?
Grif: We don't get paid enough to do stuff.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
[Caboose and Donut show off the jeep after Grif and Simmons were arguing]
Caboose: [proudly] Look what I found!
Donut: I found it!
Caboose: [still proudly] Look at what I took credit for finding!
Caboose: [proudly] Look what I found!
Donut: I found it!
Caboose: [still proudly] Look at what I took credit for finding!
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Donut: Hey Sarge, what's that metal thing that looks like a bunny? Ooh, ooh and what's that other metal thing that looks like a soup can?
Sarge: Don't touch anything Donut!
Sarge: Don't touch anything Donut!
TV Show: Red vs. Blue