Rescue Me Quotes
Tommy: [about Mrs. Turbody] I think she might have given me the Big C.
Lou: Cancer's the Big C. Chlamydia ... little c.
Tommy: Oh, well, you know what I'm sayin' so, what do you think?
Lou: I dunno. We're talking about piss filled bladders, we're talking about illicit underage sex scandals--
Tommy: Which I put an end to by the way.
Lou: ---with teachers and students and uncles and nephews, we're talking about fire-breathing cocks, I mean, to be honest with you, all of a sudden, I don't know why, but y'know, I feel a little bit better about my life.
Tommy: Well, I'm glad I could help you feel better.
Lou: Well, I don't know what to tell you, I mean you're the only man in the tri-state area who shares a case of chlamydia with three teenage boys ... non clergy, of course.
Lou: Cancer's the Big C. Chlamydia ... little c.
Tommy: Oh, well, you know what I'm sayin' so, what do you think?
Lou: I dunno. We're talking about piss filled bladders, we're talking about illicit underage sex scandals--
Tommy: Which I put an end to by the way.
Lou: ---with teachers and students and uncles and nephews, we're talking about fire-breathing cocks, I mean, to be honest with you, all of a sudden, I don't know why, but y'know, I feel a little bit better about my life.
Tommy: Well, I'm glad I could help you feel better.
Lou: Well, I don't know what to tell you, I mean you're the only man in the tri-state area who shares a case of chlamydia with three teenage boys ... non clergy, of course.
TV Show: Rescue Me
Sean: Lou, I need some ibuprofens you guys got any?
Tommy: That's interesting because I have a whole giant bottle of ibuprofens just sitting up in my locker waiting to be taken.
Sean: Really? Well, could I have some?
Tommy: Nope, it's for me and my friends.
Sean: Okay, can we be friends again, please?
Tommy: Nope. You broke up with me, it's not that easy for me to recover.
Sean: Come on, Tom. I'm in pain.
Tommy: Yeah, well, I'm in pain too, okay? Emotional pain.
Sean: Really?
Tommy: Yep. I was very, very hurt.
Tommy: That's interesting because I have a whole giant bottle of ibuprofens just sitting up in my locker waiting to be taken.
Sean: Really? Well, could I have some?
Tommy: Nope, it's for me and my friends.
Sean: Okay, can we be friends again, please?
Tommy: Nope. You broke up with me, it's not that easy for me to recover.
Sean: Come on, Tom. I'm in pain.
Tommy: Yeah, well, I'm in pain too, okay? Emotional pain.
Sean: Really?
Tommy: Yep. I was very, very hurt.
TV Show: Rescue Me
Sean: [sleepwalking, after taking the wrong pill from Tommy]: Hey bro, you need to lose like 75 pounds. Seriously. If I have to carry you out of a fire, it's gonna be slow going.
TV Show: Rescue Me
Sean: [sleepwalking] Hey, whatcha writin' there?
Cop: A ticket.
Sean: Whoa, you can write those?
Cop: Yeah.
Sean: Can you do me a favor and write me two U2 tickets at the Garden? I love you U2. Two, my mom and my sister, my mom loves Bono because of the whole world hunger thing... actually, my mom--will you write us 12?
Cop: A ticket.
Sean: Whoa, you can write those?
Cop: Yeah.
Sean: Can you do me a favor and write me two U2 tickets at the Garden? I love you U2. Two, my mom and my sister, my mom loves Bono because of the whole world hunger thing... actually, my mom--will you write us 12?
TV Show: Rescue Me
Janet: Colleen called her teacher a bitch and slapped one of her classmates, so they want her to see a counselor, I think it has to do with Connor and you not being around any more.
Tommy: You're right. It has nothing to do with the fact that you're sleeping with and living with her uncle.
Tommy: You're right. It has nothing to do with the fact that you're sleeping with and living with her uncle.
TV Show: Rescue Me
Tommy: That's because they're real tits, Franco, that's what real tits look like, okay? Johnny Giant fake boob.
Franco: Well, excuse me for being an American, I like to suck on big tits, okay?
Tommy: Now it's a political issue. I'm a terrorist because I like real tits?
Franco: Well, excuse me for being an American, I like to suck on big tits, okay?
Tommy: Now it's a political issue. I'm a terrorist because I like real tits?
TV Show: Rescue Me
Maggie: What's going on with the getting me all excited front?
Sean: Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that. How 'bout we like go back to your apartment and I get you excited in another way, in a way that doesn't involve me getting punched in the kidneys. [a big guy walks by them]
Maggie: Did you hear that? That guy just called me a whore.
Sean: Uh, no I missed that.
Maggie: You just called me a whore didn't you, asshole?
Guy: [turns around] Excuse me?
Sean: Oh, it was me, sometimes I just do that I--
Guy: You got a problem, asshole?
Sean: God, with you, come on. No, what're you crazy? [looks towards a smaller guy] No this guy--did he?
Maggie: No definitely him, [points to the big guy, then the little guy] not him.
Sean: No, you're wrong. It was this guy. [to the smaller guy] Did you just call my lady friend a whore?
Little Guy: Get away from me.
Sean: Y'know what I think he did. What're you a tough guy? [he sprays Sean with mace, who falls to the ground]
Little guy: Whose the tough guy now?! [rides off on his bike]
Maggie: Jesus, Sean, this is so embarrassing. You need to grow up. It's like you've never been sprayed in the eyes with mace before.
Sean: Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that. How 'bout we like go back to your apartment and I get you excited in another way, in a way that doesn't involve me getting punched in the kidneys. [a big guy walks by them]
Maggie: Did you hear that? That guy just called me a whore.
Sean: Uh, no I missed that.
Maggie: You just called me a whore didn't you, asshole?
Guy: [turns around] Excuse me?
Sean: Oh, it was me, sometimes I just do that I--
Guy: You got a problem, asshole?
Sean: God, with you, come on. No, what're you crazy? [looks towards a smaller guy] No this guy--did he?
Maggie: No definitely him, [points to the big guy, then the little guy] not him.
Sean: No, you're wrong. It was this guy. [to the smaller guy] Did you just call my lady friend a whore?
Little Guy: Get away from me.
Sean: Y'know what I think he did. What're you a tough guy? [he sprays Sean with mace, who falls to the ground]
Little guy: Whose the tough guy now?! [rides off on his bike]
Maggie: Jesus, Sean, this is so embarrassing. You need to grow up. It's like you've never been sprayed in the eyes with mace before.
TV Show: Rescue Me
Sean: We're supposed to go out again tonight, I mean, I wanna make her happy but I gotta figure out a way to fight some guys where I'm not gonna get hurt.
Lou: Just guys?
Sean: Yeah, just guys, for now. I mean, I'm sure I'll fight some chicks in a coupla weeks but for now, just guys.
Franco: What about guys with one leg?
Mike: Or no legs.
Tommy: Midgets.
Mike: Midgets with no legs.
Tommy: Ah, too hard to find.
Lou: Just guys?
Sean: Yeah, just guys, for now. I mean, I'm sure I'll fight some chicks in a coupla weeks but for now, just guys.
Franco: What about guys with one leg?
Mike: Or no legs.
Tommy: Midgets.
Mike: Midgets with no legs.
Tommy: Ah, too hard to find.
TV Show: Rescue Me
Angie: I have a lot of cop friends back from when Johnny and I were married. I heard about the two of you. You've been a busy girl.
Janet: No busier than you.
Angie: Oh, you mean me and Tommy? That's such a big surprise for me, I mean he was never really my type. Then I bumped into him a coupla weeks--
Janet: You actually think that I believe this bullshit?
Angie: Oh, why? I'm not good enough for Tommy?
Janet': That is not it, Angie.
Angie: Oh, yeah I think it is.
Janet: Well, it's not. Look, we were never close, and frankly I never liked you.
Angie: Really?
Janet: Yeah. But then you did one thing that I could never do. You broke free. You got away from the neighborhood and all the petty family bullshit. You broke away and started a whole new life for yourself. And I respected you for that so much, but now here you are all dressed up, dead center in a pile of shit. Welcome home, Angie.
Angie: Oh, no I already got my welcome home when I made it with your husband. Don't worry about those frown lines, sweetie. Just keep smiling no one's gonna notice.
Janet: No busier than you.
Angie: Oh, you mean me and Tommy? That's such a big surprise for me, I mean he was never really my type. Then I bumped into him a coupla weeks--
Janet: You actually think that I believe this bullshit?
Angie: Oh, why? I'm not good enough for Tommy?
Janet': That is not it, Angie.
Angie: Oh, yeah I think it is.
Janet: Well, it's not. Look, we were never close, and frankly I never liked you.
Angie: Really?
Janet: Yeah. But then you did one thing that I could never do. You broke free. You got away from the neighborhood and all the petty family bullshit. You broke away and started a whole new life for yourself. And I respected you for that so much, but now here you are all dressed up, dead center in a pile of shit. Welcome home, Angie.
Angie: Oh, no I already got my welcome home when I made it with your husband. Don't worry about those frown lines, sweetie. Just keep smiling no one's gonna notice.
TV Show: Rescue Me
Chief Reilly: Well, look at 'ya now, just pushin' the pencil, runnin' all over the city makin' sure good guys like my crew here aren't rubbing one off on the city's dime.
Flinn: I'm just doin' what I'm told.
Chief: Yeah, and there's a lotta honor in that ain't there, Flinn? (pushes him up against the lockers) You can take your little clipboard and go back downtown, back to headquarters and you tell who ever it was that sent you up here that they can kiss my white Irish ass. This is the best group of guys I've ever had the honor of serving with. These guys are gold when it comes to people's lives and protecting their property, not to mention the five names on that plaque on that wall out there. Guys that went into those two towers on that day and never came back. So, within the sacred confines of these four walls that they should look at something else other than that shit, that's fine with me. They wanna smoke, they wanna jerk off, they wanna shove potato chips up their ass, I don't give a shit as long as they keep gettin' on that rig and goin' out the door and savin' lives, I'll back 'em up.
Flinn: [looking over towards his guys] What've we got?
Guy: There's no porn, sir. No tapes, no magazines.
Chief Reilly: I'm sorry that it was a wasted trip, now get outta my goddamn quarters.
Flinn: [to his guys] Let's go.
Chief Reilly: Make sure down at headquarters you tell 'em Chief Jerry Reilly from the 15th battalion. [After the guys leave, everyone claps] Cut it out, cut it out.
Lou: Nicely done, Chief. Now, lemme ask you a question: Did you really mean what you said about us being able to smoke and jerk off and everything?
Chief Reilly: Why of course.
Lou: Good, because there's a bag of potato chips in the kitchen with my ass' name all over it.
Flinn: I'm just doin' what I'm told.
Chief: Yeah, and there's a lotta honor in that ain't there, Flinn? (pushes him up against the lockers) You can take your little clipboard and go back downtown, back to headquarters and you tell who ever it was that sent you up here that they can kiss my white Irish ass. This is the best group of guys I've ever had the honor of serving with. These guys are gold when it comes to people's lives and protecting their property, not to mention the five names on that plaque on that wall out there. Guys that went into those two towers on that day and never came back. So, within the sacred confines of these four walls that they should look at something else other than that shit, that's fine with me. They wanna smoke, they wanna jerk off, they wanna shove potato chips up their ass, I don't give a shit as long as they keep gettin' on that rig and goin' out the door and savin' lives, I'll back 'em up.
Flinn: [looking over towards his guys] What've we got?
Guy: There's no porn, sir. No tapes, no magazines.
Chief Reilly: I'm sorry that it was a wasted trip, now get outta my goddamn quarters.
Flinn: [to his guys] Let's go.
Chief Reilly: Make sure down at headquarters you tell 'em Chief Jerry Reilly from the 15th battalion. [After the guys leave, everyone claps] Cut it out, cut it out.
Lou: Nicely done, Chief. Now, lemme ask you a question: Did you really mean what you said about us being able to smoke and jerk off and everything?
Chief Reilly: Why of course.
Lou: Good, because there's a bag of potato chips in the kitchen with my ass' name all over it.
TV Show: Rescue Me
Sheila: [After drugging Tommy in order to rape him because he slept with Angie] I understand the need for revenge. I understand envy and heavy jealousy. But... why would she want to hurt me?
TV Show: Rescue Me
Tommy: [After Lou explains his epiphany] That still doesn't explain why you were in my toilet manscaping.
TV Show: Rescue Me
Tommy: You know who else had an epiphany, once? Hitler. Everybody woke up and all of a sudden there were no more bagels and cream cheese available in downtown Berlin, not to mention lox pastrami sandwiches.
TV Show: Rescue Me
Sean: Alright, Maggie, what's it gonna take for you to feel loved? What, you wanna get married? You wanna live happily ever aft--
Maggie: Yeah.
Sean: What? What did you just say?
Maggie: You asked me to marry you, I'm sayin' "yes."
Sean: No, I meant when you said that--
Maggie: What, now you don't wanna get married?
Sean: No, I guess--
Maggie: We've only been engaged 15 seconds and you're already getting cold feet.
Sean: I guess we could get married. I mean I love you, and I'm pretty sure that you love me, even though you've never actually said it.
Maggie: Yeah.
Sean: What? What did you just say?
Maggie: You asked me to marry you, I'm sayin' "yes."
Sean: No, I meant when you said that--
Maggie: What, now you don't wanna get married?
Sean: No, I guess--
Maggie: We've only been engaged 15 seconds and you're already getting cold feet.
Sean: I guess we could get married. I mean I love you, and I'm pretty sure that you love me, even though you've never actually said it.
TV Show: Rescue Me
Sean: It concerns me and Maggie.
Lou: You killed her.
Sean: No, quite the opposite. We are gettin' married.
Lou: So you'll kill her in like three years.
Sean: No, come on, why can't you guys be happy for me? This is such a big deal [goes over and hugs, then kisses Tommy's cheek] we're gonna be bro's!
Tommy: Hey, hey, get off of me.
Lou: You killed her.
Sean: No, quite the opposite. We are gettin' married.
Lou: So you'll kill her in like three years.
Sean: No, come on, why can't you guys be happy for me? This is such a big deal [goes over and hugs, then kisses Tommy's cheek] we're gonna be bro's!
Tommy: Hey, hey, get off of me.
TV Show: Rescue Me
Chief Reilly: Come on, this game is nuts now.
Franco: Now you know why Puerto Ricans don't play hockey.
Sean: Why's that?
Franco: Well, we'd all be carryin' knives it'd be a blood bath.
Maggie: Not to mention all the hubcaps that would be stolen off of the Zamboni.
Franco: Now you know why Puerto Ricans don't play hockey.
Sean: Why's that?
Franco: Well, we'd all be carryin' knives it'd be a blood bath.
Maggie: Not to mention all the hubcaps that would be stolen off of the Zamboni.
TV Show: Rescue Me
Sean: I uh…the thing is-- see my family, they raised me right... I think. I wanted to do this respectfully and so uh…that's why I'm here Mr. Gavin. To ask you most sincerely and most... some other word for um... your daughter, Maggie's hand in marriage.
John Sr.: Are you retarded?
[Over at the table, Maggie and Lou are listening]
Maggie: [whispers] I can't believe Tommy's missing this.
Lou: [whispers] I'm taking notes.
Sean: I mean, I had some reading comprehension problems in school and I had to take the SAT's like 11 times and I still didn't pass---
John Sr.: What's the point of asking me for her hand in marriage when you've already asked her for it?
Sean: That's a good point. That's a good point, Dad. Is it too early for me to call you that?
John Sr.: I don't know, is it too early for me to call you asshole? [at the table Lou laughs and writes that down for the notes] You do realize that she is a blood-sucking, hell bitch.
Maggie: What?!
John Sr.: This is a private conversation.
Maggie: You see these shoes? These are gonna go right up your ass old man.
John Sr.: [to Sean] You see how she talks to me? And I'm her father. Imagine what she'll say to you.
Sean: I don't have to imagine.
John Sr.: Now, you seem like a pretty nice kid, a little slow but nice. You see that door right over there? Use it and never look back.
Maggie: That's it. You're not invited to the wedding. No invitation for you.
John Sr.: Yeah, well what about the wedding after this one? Am I banned from that one too?
John Sr.: Are you retarded?
[Over at the table, Maggie and Lou are listening]
Maggie: [whispers] I can't believe Tommy's missing this.
Lou: [whispers] I'm taking notes.
Sean: I mean, I had some reading comprehension problems in school and I had to take the SAT's like 11 times and I still didn't pass---
John Sr.: What's the point of asking me for her hand in marriage when you've already asked her for it?
Sean: That's a good point. That's a good point, Dad. Is it too early for me to call you that?
John Sr.: I don't know, is it too early for me to call you asshole? [at the table Lou laughs and writes that down for the notes] You do realize that she is a blood-sucking, hell bitch.
Maggie: What?!
John Sr.: This is a private conversation.
Maggie: You see these shoes? These are gonna go right up your ass old man.
John Sr.: [to Sean] You see how she talks to me? And I'm her father. Imagine what she'll say to you.
Sean: I don't have to imagine.
John Sr.: Now, you seem like a pretty nice kid, a little slow but nice. You see that door right over there? Use it and never look back.
Maggie: That's it. You're not invited to the wedding. No invitation for you.
John Sr.: Yeah, well what about the wedding after this one? Am I banned from that one too?
TV Show: Rescue Me
Johnny: I'm here because um...y'know, I didn't want you findin' out from somebody else. Janet's pregnant. It wasn't planned, y'know, it just happened. It is what it is and we're happy. Obviously we don't know what the sex of the child is yet, but look on the upside, Tommy, if--if it's a boy, then dad can stop with that whole male heir bullshit thing that he keeps talkin' about. Okay, Tommy?
Tommy: You--You're askin' me if it's okay?
Johnny: Yeah.
Tommy: [pause and stares at him] Congratulations.
Tommy: You--You're askin' me if it's okay?
Johnny: Yeah.
Tommy: [pause and stares at him] Congratulations.
TV Show: Rescue Me
Franco: He's retarded.
Lou: Like Rain Man retarded or Paris Hilton retarded?
Franco: Well, he can function, like Paris, he can go to the bathroom on his own which I assume Paris can do. He's pretty good with numbers, I'm not sayin' that the guy can count toothpicks off of the floor or anything and you know, he eats things.
Lou: Hey, hey now there's nothing retarded about that.
Franco: No, I'm not talkin' bout food things, Lou. I'm talking about actual things shit that's layin' around the room. Checkers, paper clips, erasers, pen caps, the guys small intestine must have a silver lining.
Lou: Well, you know how they talk about retards having like what's it called retard strength?
Sean: What're you lookin' at me for?
Lou: Well, maybe that's what Richard the retard has except all of his power is concentrated in his digestive track.
Franco: The thing is that I really wanna make a good impression with Nat, so I figured I take the guy to a ballgame.
Sean: Yeah, hey that's a good idea. A nice chance to bond.
Lou: Yeah, that should work out real nice, you know, assuming he doesn't eat the tickets before you get to the gate.
Lou: Like Rain Man retarded or Paris Hilton retarded?
Franco: Well, he can function, like Paris, he can go to the bathroom on his own which I assume Paris can do. He's pretty good with numbers, I'm not sayin' that the guy can count toothpicks off of the floor or anything and you know, he eats things.
Lou: Hey, hey now there's nothing retarded about that.
Franco: No, I'm not talkin' bout food things, Lou. I'm talking about actual things shit that's layin' around the room. Checkers, paper clips, erasers, pen caps, the guys small intestine must have a silver lining.
Lou: Well, you know how they talk about retards having like what's it called retard strength?
Sean: What're you lookin' at me for?
Lou: Well, maybe that's what Richard the retard has except all of his power is concentrated in his digestive track.
Franco: The thing is that I really wanna make a good impression with Nat, so I figured I take the guy to a ballgame.
Sean: Yeah, hey that's a good idea. A nice chance to bond.
Lou: Yeah, that should work out real nice, you know, assuming he doesn't eat the tickets before you get to the gate.
TV Show: Rescue Me
Sean: For your information Chris was just here. He told me everything.
Mike: Chris was just here?
Sean: That's right, I mean we're such good friends, I mean when were you gonna tell me about it?
Mike: Never.
Sean: Asshole.
Mike: I was confused.
Sean: Alright, well, now I'm confused too. Why didn't you just talk to me, maybe I'd have gone the same way.
Mike: Get outta here.
Sean: Yeah, bro. I like to keep it fresh. I like to try new things. Try new positions, switch hit. How could you go behind our backs and do this?
Mike: Sean you gotta know the truth. It-- it was just Chris.
Sean: Oh, don't pin this on him.
Mike: But it was him. He gave me like a half a dozen blow jobs, and it was always him goin' down on me. I never kissed him or slept with him, it was just the blow jobs I swear.
[Sean looks shocked and backs away]
Sean: Okay, what're we talkin' about here?
Mike: What Chris told you.
Sean: All Chris told me was about this transfer order-- Holy shit!
Mike: Sean, please just don't tell anybody.
[Lou walks in]
Sean: Mike's gay!
Lou: Oh, hell I knew that.
Mike: Chris talked to you too?
Lou: Who's Chris?
Sean: Chris is his lover man-- guy.
Mike: I can explain, Lou. Just please don't let anybody else know.
[Franco walks in]
Franco: Know what?
Lou: Mike's gay.
Franco: Yeah tell me something I don't know. [looks up from his book] Oh, you mean gay, gay.
Mike: Chris was just here?
Sean: That's right, I mean we're such good friends, I mean when were you gonna tell me about it?
Mike: Never.
Sean: Asshole.
Mike: I was confused.
Sean: Alright, well, now I'm confused too. Why didn't you just talk to me, maybe I'd have gone the same way.
Mike: Get outta here.
Sean: Yeah, bro. I like to keep it fresh. I like to try new things. Try new positions, switch hit. How could you go behind our backs and do this?
Mike: Sean you gotta know the truth. It-- it was just Chris.
Sean: Oh, don't pin this on him.
Mike: But it was him. He gave me like a half a dozen blow jobs, and it was always him goin' down on me. I never kissed him or slept with him, it was just the blow jobs I swear.
[Sean looks shocked and backs away]
Sean: Okay, what're we talkin' about here?
Mike: What Chris told you.
Sean: All Chris told me was about this transfer order-- Holy shit!
Mike: Sean, please just don't tell anybody.
[Lou walks in]
Sean: Mike's gay!
Lou: Oh, hell I knew that.
Mike: Chris talked to you too?
Lou: Who's Chris?
Sean: Chris is his lover man-- guy.
Mike: I can explain, Lou. Just please don't let anybody else know.
[Franco walks in]
Franco: Know what?
Lou: Mike's gay.
Franco: Yeah tell me something I don't know. [looks up from his book] Oh, you mean gay, gay.
TV Show: Rescue Me
Mike: Every morning I'd pass by the construction guys out there on my way to work and there was this one guy-- Chris and I noticed him a couple of times. And one day, when I was passin' by, he sorta like smiled at me.
Sean: Okay, I think I'm gonna puke.
Mike: Well, it freaked me out too. Every morning he'd gimme this like smile. And one day when I stepped out and he wasn't there--
Lou: Did you check the end of your cock? [everyone laughs]
Chief Reilly: Lou, let him talk. Go ahead, kid.
Mike: And he was gone and I sorta liked missed him.
Tommy: Alright, my balls just went up behind my lungs.
Mike: I don't know how to describe the way I was feeling. Y'know, he was a nice guy... and-- and, we started talkin' and I guess I was like lonely or something and I moved into his place and it was great at first... then it got weird.
Franco: And then it got weird, because I was wonderin' when that was gonna kick in.
Mike: And he was into me that way, and that's when the blow jobs started... and it freaked me out at first. Yeah, and I knew it wasn't right for me--- he's gone, I'm not with him. I-I-I left, it's over, and that's the whole story.
Sean: Bullshit, Mikey. What about the transfer?
Mike: I filled the form out but I never turned it in, did I?
Sean: Oh, cut the shit, Mike, you already got your new house all picked out.
Chief Reilly: How do you know that?
Sean: Because he's playin' for their softball team.
Mike: What?
Sean: Yeah, your boyfriend Chris, he told me that you were battin' for the other team. edit »
Sean: Okay, I think I'm gonna puke.
Mike: Well, it freaked me out too. Every morning he'd gimme this like smile. And one day when I stepped out and he wasn't there--
Lou: Did you check the end of your cock? [everyone laughs]
Chief Reilly: Lou, let him talk. Go ahead, kid.
Mike: And he was gone and I sorta liked missed him.
Tommy: Alright, my balls just went up behind my lungs.
Mike: I don't know how to describe the way I was feeling. Y'know, he was a nice guy... and-- and, we started talkin' and I guess I was like lonely or something and I moved into his place and it was great at first... then it got weird.
Franco: And then it got weird, because I was wonderin' when that was gonna kick in.
Mike: And he was into me that way, and that's when the blow jobs started... and it freaked me out at first. Yeah, and I knew it wasn't right for me--- he's gone, I'm not with him. I-I-I left, it's over, and that's the whole story.
Sean: Bullshit, Mikey. What about the transfer?
Mike: I filled the form out but I never turned it in, did I?
Sean: Oh, cut the shit, Mike, you already got your new house all picked out.
Chief Reilly: How do you know that?
Sean: Because he's playin' for their softball team.
Mike: What?
Sean: Yeah, your boyfriend Chris, he told me that you were battin' for the other team. edit »
TV Show: Rescue Me
Franco: I don't want him showerin' with us that's for sure. It's nothing personal, Mike. I just don't need you starin' at my hang down like it's an a la carte special at the Chez Homo.
Sean: Yeah, and I don't wanna know about your new boyfriends, or your new clothes, or nights out at the disco, or Liza Minnelli, or ass toys. It's off limits from now on.
Mike: I'm not gay. I didn't do anything sexual to him. I'm totally into chicks, and I'm seein' this girl over the past coupla weeks--
Franco: Yeah. A girl named Dave.
Mike: Y'know, if this is how it's gonna be, if I can't make a little mistake in my personal life then maybe I should transfer.
Tommy: Hey, hey, kid come here. Guys, better or worse, I think we all consider ourselves a family here, correct? Now whether, Mike's a fag. Sorry, Mike. Or not he's, he's part of that family, correct? I think y'know, as a firefighter he's been startin' to pull his own weight. Y'know and maybe he acts a little faggy from time to time. Sorry, Mike. But y'know, in the shit he's been learnin', he's been performin', y'know Johnny Stack would not be alive today if it wasn't for Mikey. Now, as far as it goes in the house, I trust the kid, y'know, I feel like if I'm stuck somewhere on the job, I feel like he's got me, y'know, he's got me-- covered. Come here kid. [they hug] I got no problem with this.
Lou: [whispers] Ten bucks says Mikey's hard.
Tommy: I heard that.
Sean: Yeah, and I don't wanna know about your new boyfriends, or your new clothes, or nights out at the disco, or Liza Minnelli, or ass toys. It's off limits from now on.
Mike: I'm not gay. I didn't do anything sexual to him. I'm totally into chicks, and I'm seein' this girl over the past coupla weeks--
Franco: Yeah. A girl named Dave.
Mike: Y'know, if this is how it's gonna be, if I can't make a little mistake in my personal life then maybe I should transfer.
Tommy: Hey, hey, kid come here. Guys, better or worse, I think we all consider ourselves a family here, correct? Now whether, Mike's a fag. Sorry, Mike. Or not he's, he's part of that family, correct? I think y'know, as a firefighter he's been startin' to pull his own weight. Y'know and maybe he acts a little faggy from time to time. Sorry, Mike. But y'know, in the shit he's been learnin', he's been performin', y'know Johnny Stack would not be alive today if it wasn't for Mikey. Now, as far as it goes in the house, I trust the kid, y'know, I feel like if I'm stuck somewhere on the job, I feel like he's got me, y'know, he's got me-- covered. Come here kid. [they hug] I got no problem with this.
Lou: [whispers] Ten bucks says Mikey's hard.
Tommy: I heard that.
TV Show: Rescue Me
Bartender: For a glass that's gonna cost you about a c-note, you're certainly drinkin' it pretty fast there, pal.
Tommy: Well, you would to if you only had about two dollars and seventy-five cents if your pocket.
Tommy: Well, you would to if you only had about two dollars and seventy-five cents if your pocket.
TV Show: Rescue Me
Tommy: [showing his scars to people at a bar, proving he's FDNY, while drinking expensive whiskey he can't pay for] See, that? See, that, huh? I got that 12 stories up in a raging inferno up in Harlem. In an apartment, lookin' around I lost my halgen, couldn't find it. But I did find someone's grandmother. I had to hand her out in a bucket to save her, had to punch my way through a window. She died about an hour later. See that one? Take a look at that one. That was a drunken asshole up in the Bronx he fell asleep smoking in bed, well, he started the fire. He was trying to crawl out, I brought him down, I was trading my mask off with him coming down the stairs, the stairs give way and I fall through a half of story on to these metal spikes. He lived, but four kids and their mom died. I knew, 60 guys, who died on 9-11. And you know what the funny part is? I betcha 'ya, all the people in this bar, you could name five finalist from American Idol but they can't name one, one name of the 343 men who gave their lives from the FDNY on 9-11, huh. Anybody got a name? One name, huh? Anybody got a name of a dead fireman, huh? No, nobody, didn't think so. I don't have any money because my wallet and my badge were inside my new truck which got stolen this morning. My wife's pregnant, she's gonna have a baby. But we don't know who's it is because she's having sex with me and my brother. My uncle's in the joint because last year he shot my---this drunk driver that killed my only son and I just saw my son on a crosstown bus right in front of this place like three minutes ago. [Bartender gives Tommy the whole bottle of the expensive Irish whiskey]
TV Show: Rescue Me
Tommy: So, what're you? You a Muslim?
Taxi Driver: Yeah.
Tommy: So what, you believe that you die and you go to heaven and you get what? Seventy...seven virgins?
Taxi Driver: Seventy-two.
Tommy: Seventy-two, right. I mean...what's the point of that? If you think about it...I mean, virgins? When you go to heaven, I mean wouldn't you rather have whores?
Taxi Driver: You think that there are whores in heaven? There are no whores in heaven.
Tommy: I mean, I would prefer that if I went to heaven I would get seventy-seven---
Taxi Driver: Seventy-two.
Tommy: Okay. Seventy-two...whores. Chicks that know something, chicks that know how to blow 'ya---chicks that know tricks.
Taxi Driver: Lemme ask you somethin'--
Tommy: What? What?
Taxi Driver: What are you...religion wise.
Tommy: I'm nothing. I'm a lapsed Catholic.
Taxi Driver: Well, my friend, you're going to hell, okay?
Tommy: I'd rather go to hell with seventy-seven---
Taxi Driver: Seventy-two. Seventy-two!
Tommy: Okay, two-thousand whores! Three thousand whores and Babe Ruth and John Lennon and Elvis Presley, take me to hell. Jesus.
Taxi Driver: Yeah.
Tommy: So what, you believe that you die and you go to heaven and you get what? Seventy...seven virgins?
Taxi Driver: Seventy-two.
Tommy: Seventy-two, right. I mean...what's the point of that? If you think about it...I mean, virgins? When you go to heaven, I mean wouldn't you rather have whores?
Taxi Driver: You think that there are whores in heaven? There are no whores in heaven.
Tommy: I mean, I would prefer that if I went to heaven I would get seventy-seven---
Taxi Driver: Seventy-two.
Tommy: Okay. Seventy-two...whores. Chicks that know something, chicks that know how to blow 'ya---chicks that know tricks.
Taxi Driver: Lemme ask you somethin'--
Tommy: What? What?
Taxi Driver: What are you...religion wise.
Tommy: I'm nothing. I'm a lapsed Catholic.
Taxi Driver: Well, my friend, you're going to hell, okay?
Tommy: I'd rather go to hell with seventy-seven---
Taxi Driver: Seventy-two. Seventy-two!
Tommy: Okay, two-thousand whores! Three thousand whores and Babe Ruth and John Lennon and Elvis Presley, take me to hell. Jesus.
TV Show: Rescue Me
Janet: Why didn't you listen to me?
Tommy: When?
Janet: Six years ago when I asked you to spend more time with the kids, to spend more time at home, to spend more time with me. All you had to do was to listen to me! All that was required was that you hear the words!
Tommy: I heard the words, okay. I quit drinking, I quit my third job, I was home every Saturday.
Janet: No, you were always playing softball every Saturday during the summer. All winter you played hockey, all spring, all fall, and the only reason that you quit drinking was because Lou said to you that the chief said something to him---
Tommy: That wasn't the only reason.
Janet: --- not because of me! Not because of the kids! Goddammit, Tommy! [she grabs his coat and shakes him and starts hitting him] All you had to do was listen!
Tommy: [pinning her against the wall] Goddammit, stop! Are you gonna tell me that simply because I didn't listen well enough that you have ruined my life so far beyond what I could ever imagine? And that's why, because I didn't listen hard enough, and that's why, you're sucking my brother's cock?
Janet: Goddammit, Tommy, he was there when I needed someone I was scared shitless -- I just buried my only son.
Tommy: So did I.
Janet: And what did you need, Tommy?
Tommy: Ah, Goddammit! What did I need--
Janet: You know, I needed you! The old you. I needed someone to hold me in my bed at night when I cried. I needed someone to help me after I was done helping the girls wipe away their tears. But, the old you? He was gone. He's buried, with all of your lost brothers and you know what? You can tell all of your lost brothers to go to hell because we're here, and they're not.
Tommy: When?
Janet: Six years ago when I asked you to spend more time with the kids, to spend more time at home, to spend more time with me. All you had to do was to listen to me! All that was required was that you hear the words!
Tommy: I heard the words, okay. I quit drinking, I quit my third job, I was home every Saturday.
Janet: No, you were always playing softball every Saturday during the summer. All winter you played hockey, all spring, all fall, and the only reason that you quit drinking was because Lou said to you that the chief said something to him---
Tommy: That wasn't the only reason.
Janet: --- not because of me! Not because of the kids! Goddammit, Tommy! [she grabs his coat and shakes him and starts hitting him] All you had to do was listen!
Tommy: [pinning her against the wall] Goddammit, stop! Are you gonna tell me that simply because I didn't listen well enough that you have ruined my life so far beyond what I could ever imagine? And that's why, because I didn't listen hard enough, and that's why, you're sucking my brother's cock?
Janet: Goddammit, Tommy, he was there when I needed someone I was scared shitless -- I just buried my only son.
Tommy: So did I.
Janet: And what did you need, Tommy?
Tommy: Ah, Goddammit! What did I need--
Janet: You know, I needed you! The old you. I needed someone to hold me in my bed at night when I cried. I needed someone to help me after I was done helping the girls wipe away their tears. But, the old you? He was gone. He's buried, with all of your lost brothers and you know what? You can tell all of your lost brothers to go to hell because we're here, and they're not.
TV Show: Rescue Me
Tommy: Tell me that she is not a nun. Tell me that, she was wearing a nun costume like her French maid costume was at the dry cleaners or somethin', right?
Lou: [sighs] Okay. Confusion is to be expected with this conversation. What the mind sees is sometimes not which is real but the reality that is brought to it.
Tommy: Really?
Lou: I'm brushing up on Buddhism. The Buddhist approach to things. Ask yourself this Tommy: If a tree falls in the forest... [Lou opens up a book. Tommy takes Lou's book and throws it out the window] ...and there's no one there to see it or hear it, would you still be such an asshole? Actually, you might've done me a favor there by discarding one of my possessions. That's part of the path to enlightenment.
Tommy: Okay, my foot is about to take the enlighten path up your ass. Is she a nun or is she not a nun?
Lou: She's a semi-nun.
Tommy: She's a semi-nun, what does that mean? She's in the Nun National Guard, huh? What, She's the bride of Christ one weekend a month? What the hell's that mean?!
Lou: Why don't you sit down and calm yourself and I'll make us some green tea. And we will talk.
Tommy: I'm not sitting with you and doing anything, okay? You have crossed a boundary my friend.
Lou: You have boundaries?
Tommy: I have one boundary Lou. One boundary and one boundary only, and that is no sex with nuns in the place where I live.
Lou: [sighs] Okay. Confusion is to be expected with this conversation. What the mind sees is sometimes not which is real but the reality that is brought to it.
Tommy: Really?
Lou: I'm brushing up on Buddhism. The Buddhist approach to things. Ask yourself this Tommy: If a tree falls in the forest... [Lou opens up a book. Tommy takes Lou's book and throws it out the window] ...and there's no one there to see it or hear it, would you still be such an asshole? Actually, you might've done me a favor there by discarding one of my possessions. That's part of the path to enlightenment.
Tommy: Okay, my foot is about to take the enlighten path up your ass. Is she a nun or is she not a nun?
Lou: She's a semi-nun.
Tommy: She's a semi-nun, what does that mean? She's in the Nun National Guard, huh? What, She's the bride of Christ one weekend a month? What the hell's that mean?!
Lou: Why don't you sit down and calm yourself and I'll make us some green tea. And we will talk.
Tommy: I'm not sitting with you and doing anything, okay? You have crossed a boundary my friend.
Lou: You have boundaries?
Tommy: I have one boundary Lou. One boundary and one boundary only, and that is no sex with nuns in the place where I live.
TV Show: Rescue Me
Lou: She's a nun until the end of the month, okay? She's leaving the order, they know all about it. She's trying to spend a few days, every week, out of the convent trying to adjust.
Tommy: Time to adjust what, her vagina?
Lou: She's living under their roof for a couple more weeks, she has to abide by their rules...This could be really big for me Tommy.
Tommy: Oh, I'm sure--sure it is. A nun, what's bigger than a nun? A saint?
Lou: You know, I've got a chance here. She's only been with two guys, one was some clown back in high school and the other was, you know, Jesus.
Tommy: Yeah, Jesus, our lord and savior who died for our sins, that Jesus, right?
Lou: Yeah but word on the street is that I was created in his image, you know. There are those people that say, that I too move in mysterious ways.
Tommy: Uh huh. And technically she’s still married to him so that means she’s cheating on the son of God with you!
Lou: I got 100 pounds on the guy, and look no holes in my hands. Bring it on Jesus!
Tommy: Okay, you just crossed the second boundary, I--I need to lay down. [clutching his chest] What is that smell? It is either the kitchen or I think you might have actually burned a hole in my soul...oh yeah that is it, uh, oh yeah...right through the middle of the soul.
Tommy: Time to adjust what, her vagina?
Lou: She's living under their roof for a couple more weeks, she has to abide by their rules...This could be really big for me Tommy.
Tommy: Oh, I'm sure--sure it is. A nun, what's bigger than a nun? A saint?
Lou: You know, I've got a chance here. She's only been with two guys, one was some clown back in high school and the other was, you know, Jesus.
Tommy: Yeah, Jesus, our lord and savior who died for our sins, that Jesus, right?
Lou: Yeah but word on the street is that I was created in his image, you know. There are those people that say, that I too move in mysterious ways.
Tommy: Uh huh. And technically she’s still married to him so that means she’s cheating on the son of God with you!
Lou: I got 100 pounds on the guy, and look no holes in my hands. Bring it on Jesus!
Tommy: Okay, you just crossed the second boundary, I--I need to lay down. [clutching his chest] What is that smell? It is either the kitchen or I think you might have actually burned a hole in my soul...oh yeah that is it, uh, oh yeah...right through the middle of the soul.
TV Show: Rescue Me
Sean: I'm getting the feeling we're not on the same page here about this wedding.
Maggie: No, I'm getting the feeling we're not in the same book.
Sean: Okay, well, I'll do it how ever you want, but what's important to me is that we're standing there taking our vows in the eyes of God, alright?
Maggie: Where in the eyes of God?
Sean: Where do you think, Maggie? In a church, alright? In his house.
Maggie: Can't God come to our house?
Sean: Maggie, please, can't you do this for me and my folks?
Maggie: I'm no good in churches, Sean. They creep me out. All those statues looking down on me, judging, knowing all the dirty, promiscuous, unprotected sex I've had.
Maggie: No, I'm getting the feeling we're not in the same book.
Sean: Okay, well, I'll do it how ever you want, but what's important to me is that we're standing there taking our vows in the eyes of God, alright?
Maggie: Where in the eyes of God?
Sean: Where do you think, Maggie? In a church, alright? In his house.
Maggie: Can't God come to our house?
Sean: Maggie, please, can't you do this for me and my folks?
Maggie: I'm no good in churches, Sean. They creep me out. All those statues looking down on me, judging, knowing all the dirty, promiscuous, unprotected sex I've had.
TV Show: Rescue Me