Robin Hood (2006 TV series) Quotes
Gisborne: It would have been nice to have dealt with Hood before the King returns. [the Sheriff laughs] What?
Sheriff: The King is not coming.
Gisborne: What do you mean, "the King is not coming"?
Sheriff: He is in the Holy Land. I have arranged an imposter. Think about it: is the real King, who spent God-knows-how-long ?ghting in the Holy Land, going to stop off in Nottingham on his way home for a chat? A clue: no!
Gisborne: Why?
Sheriff: How many of our friends are against us, hm? Our pathetic lords - Merton, Woodvale, Edward, hm? How many of them are scheming, smiling at us, lying, biding their time, nodding their heads, all the while preparing for the return of their King, the precious Richard the Lionheart, preparing? Hm? To turn against us the minute he walks through that door?
Gisborne: I don't know.
Sheriff: None of them have ever seen the King. So, this way we ?nd out, hm? The plots bubble to the surface! The rats come scurrying out of the woodwork!
Gisborne: Why didn't you tell me?
Sheriff: [sarcastic] Oh, sorry. Nothing personal, hm? Anyway, you should thank me. You get to marry the girl.
Gisborne: Yeah, but based on a lie. The King is not really coming.
Sheriff: Oh, isn't that despicable! I don't know how you could possibly live with yourself!
Sheriff: The King is not coming.
Gisborne: What do you mean, "the King is not coming"?
Sheriff: He is in the Holy Land. I have arranged an imposter. Think about it: is the real King, who spent God-knows-how-long ?ghting in the Holy Land, going to stop off in Nottingham on his way home for a chat? A clue: no!
Gisborne: Why?
Sheriff: How many of our friends are against us, hm? Our pathetic lords - Merton, Woodvale, Edward, hm? How many of them are scheming, smiling at us, lying, biding their time, nodding their heads, all the while preparing for the return of their King, the precious Richard the Lionheart, preparing? Hm? To turn against us the minute he walks through that door?
Gisborne: I don't know.
Sheriff: None of them have ever seen the King. So, this way we ?nd out, hm? The plots bubble to the surface! The rats come scurrying out of the woodwork!
Gisborne: Why didn't you tell me?
Sheriff: [sarcastic] Oh, sorry. Nothing personal, hm? Anyway, you should thank me. You get to marry the girl.
Gisborne: Yeah, but based on a lie. The King is not really coming.
Sheriff: Oh, isn't that despicable! I don't know how you could possibly live with yourself!
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Marian: My father! I must go to Nottingham!
Gisborne: Your father will be safe; I have made provisions for him. You see, as my father-in-law he is protected. As my father-in-law.
Marian: You are cruel!
Much: This is wrong!
Priest: You must have legal grounds to object or remain silent!
Much: Well... I HAVE MORAL GROUNDS!
Gisborne: Your father will be safe; I have made provisions for him. You see, as my father-in-law he is protected. As my father-in-law.
Marian: You are cruel!
Much: This is wrong!
Priest: You must have legal grounds to object or remain silent!
Much: Well... I HAVE MORAL GROUNDS!
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
"King Richard": Arrest Sheriff Vaisey!
Sheriff: ... Me?
"King Richard": Take him to the dungeons!
Sheriff: Me?! [as he is dragged away]Me?! BLITHERING OAF!!! ME?! ARREST THEM!!! ARREST ALL OF THEM!!! THESE IDIOTIC BUFFOONS...!!!
Sheriff: ... Me?
"King Richard": Take him to the dungeons!
Sheriff: Me?! [as he is dragged away]Me?! BLITHERING OAF!!! ME?! ARREST THEM!!! ARREST ALL OF THEM!!! THESE IDIOTIC BUFFOONS...!!!
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Sheriff: [Pretending to be a scribe] Do you wish to give evidence against the Sheriff?
Robin: [Shoots arrows onto his sleeves, pinning him to the table] A clue: no!
Robin: [Shoots arrows onto his sleeves, pinning him to the table] A clue: no!
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Robin: I think it's fair to say that an audience with the king has been suspended!
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Sheriff: Speaking of our lady-leper-friends, time to go and get the pretty one... and her daddy.
Guy: Edward and Marian. If they resist, shall I use force?
Sheriff: Get up to speed, Gisborn - use force anyway.
Guy: Edward and Marian. If they resist, shall I use force?
Sheriff: Get up to speed, Gisborn - use force anyway.
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Marian: I fear we're not to welcome in the corridors of power at the moment.
Robin: Good. Come and join my gang then.
Marian: In your dreams.
[Robin and Marian kiss.]
Robin: Listen.
Marian: What?
Robin: That kiss spoke for you.
Marian: What did it say?
Robin: It said, "Marian wants to come and join your gang."
Marian: Really, that's not what I heard. What I heard was a little voice saying, "Abandon your home, abandon your father, to take up arms with a man who thinks that resistance is about showing off with a bow."
Robin: That's not fair!
Marian: To do what? To wait for a king, who lets face it, may or may not make it home.
Robin: So you've been thinking about it then.
Robin: Good. Come and join my gang then.
Marian: In your dreams.
[Robin and Marian kiss.]
Robin: Listen.
Marian: What?
Robin: That kiss spoke for you.
Marian: What did it say?
Robin: It said, "Marian wants to come and join your gang."
Marian: Really, that's not what I heard. What I heard was a little voice saying, "Abandon your home, abandon your father, to take up arms with a man who thinks that resistance is about showing off with a bow."
Robin: That's not fair!
Marian: To do what? To wait for a king, who lets face it, may or may not make it home.
Robin: So you've been thinking about it then.
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Davina: That's your real problem isn't it Hood, you need people to love you.
Robin: It's better than having reptiles to love you.
Davina: My brother loves me.
Robin: Like I said.
Robin: It's better than having reptiles to love you.
Davina: My brother loves me.
Robin: Like I said.
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Sheriff: [as Marian and her father, Edward, enter] Ah, the sanctimonious old fart... and her father! [chuckles] I gather you've been careless with your wood ?re.
Marian: You know full well that is not the case.
Sheriff: Tell me - whose side are you on? Mine or King Richard's? Hm? The real world... or the old world?
Edward: Yours.
Sheriff: No. Come along! We both know that's not true, don't we?
Edward: I believe in justice. I believe in the rights of a free man.
Sheriff: [sneering] Who cares... what you believe in? Hm? I have a plan, and I will not tolerate dissent. So, you are under house arrest, here in the castle, until I can ?nd some use for you.
Marian: My lord Sheriff, I must protest.
Sheriff: You must?
Marian: My father is unwell. He must be allowed to--
Sheriff: One more word out of you, missy, and your father will never be unwell again!
Marian: You know full well that is not the case.
Sheriff: Tell me - whose side are you on? Mine or King Richard's? Hm? The real world... or the old world?
Edward: Yours.
Sheriff: No. Come along! We both know that's not true, don't we?
Edward: I believe in justice. I believe in the rights of a free man.
Sheriff: [sneering] Who cares... what you believe in? Hm? I have a plan, and I will not tolerate dissent. So, you are under house arrest, here in the castle, until I can ?nd some use for you.
Marian: My lord Sheriff, I must protest.
Sheriff: You must?
Marian: My father is unwell. He must be allowed to--
Sheriff: One more word out of you, missy, and your father will never be unwell again!
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Robin: Who died?
Marian: You did. The Sheriff said you were dead.
Marian: You did. The Sheriff said you were dead.
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
[Robin and Marian kiss]
Marian: A little voice saying, "Yes, when the king is home and safe again."
Marian: A little voice saying, "Yes, when the king is home and safe again."
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Much: You are not weak!
Allan: I might get weak. Anyway it doesn`t matter to you.
Much: Why?
Allan: You have always been weak!
Allan: I might get weak. Anyway it doesn`t matter to you.
Much: Why?
Allan: You have always been weak!
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Sheriff: Am I to drown in everybody else's incompetence, whilst Robin Hood steals everything that is rightfully mine?! A clue: no! Do something about it, Gisborne!
Guy of Gisborne: Well, my lord, now we know the stronghold works. It stopped Hood dead in his tracks.
Sheriff: NOT DEAD ENOUGH!!! Stealing money from me on the way here is one thing. Stealing it from under my very nose is another! The Black Knights are coming, expecting their share-out, Gisborne! AT THIS RATE, THERE'LL BE NOTHING LEFT TO SHARE!!! I want Hood caught, Gisborne! I want him DEAD!
Guy of Gisborne: Well, my lord, now we know the stronghold works. It stopped Hood dead in his tracks.
Sheriff: NOT DEAD ENOUGH!!! Stealing money from me on the way here is one thing. Stealing it from under my very nose is another! The Black Knights are coming, expecting their share-out, Gisborne! AT THIS RATE, THERE'LL BE NOTHING LEFT TO SHARE!!! I want Hood caught, Gisborne! I want him DEAD!
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Sheriff: The Count Friedrich of Bavaria is one of the richest aristocrats in Europe, by all accounts. Stupid too, so you and he should get on. He also has a weakness for gambling.
Gisborne: Your alterations to the Great Hall.
Sheriff: Yes. We will extend the Count every courtesy, Gisborne. I've taken my bath six months early for a reason! And then... [smiles evilly] we shall take the inbred booby for every penny that he's got.
Gisborne: Your alterations to the Great Hall.
Sheriff: Yes. We will extend the Count every courtesy, Gisborne. I've taken my bath six months early for a reason! And then... [smiles evilly] we shall take the inbred booby for every penny that he's got.
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Sheriff: [in his new casino] This world is full of idiots, waiting to be parted from their money. But as you know... the house always wins!
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Robin: England needs me.
Marian: England needs us.
Robin: And I need you.
Marian: England needs us.
Robin: And I need you.
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Gisborne: ... The strongroom...!
Sheriff: ... GUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!!!!!!!!
Sheriff: ... GUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!!!!!!!!
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
[After Robin successfully robs the Sheriff's secret loot]
Sheriff: My war chest, and the booby's money. [grabbing Gisborne] But they can't have done! No, no! [walks away from him, exasperated] No. [throwing a tantrum]NO!!![kicks a guard in the knees]NO!!![grabs him and throws him into another guard]NO!!![punches another guard]NO!!![starts to punch another]NNNNNNNNNNOOO!!![slaps him lightly instead]
Sheriff: My war chest, and the booby's money. [grabbing Gisborne] But they can't have done! No, no! [walks away from him, exasperated] No. [throwing a tantrum]NO!!![kicks a guard in the knees]NO!!![grabs him and throws him into another guard]NO!!![punches another guard]NO!!![starts to punch another]NNNNNNNNNNOOO!!![slaps him lightly instead]
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Much: Here [hands little John and Allan a plate of food]
Little John: I thought you said chicken?
Allan: Yeah, this is a pretty small chicken, Much.
Will: Yeah, again.
Djaq: And have you seen in the trees? No squirrels lately.[looks at Will]
Much: It's not squirrel!
Little John: I thought you said chicken?
Allan: Yeah, this is a pretty small chicken, Much.
Will: Yeah, again.
Djaq: And have you seen in the trees? No squirrels lately.[looks at Will]
Much: It's not squirrel!
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Djaq: We are surrounded by edible berries and leaves!Where's the fruit, the salad?
Will: Salad?
Little John: Men? Eating leaves?
Allan: There is only one use for leaves around here and you wouldn't want to be eatin' them afterwards.
Will: Salad?
Little John: Men? Eating leaves?
Allan: There is only one use for leaves around here and you wouldn't want to be eatin' them afterwards.
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Robin: Marian, what are you doing here?
Marian: Someone's impersonating me.
Robin: I know. I think they're giving out poison pies.
Marian: Someone's impersonating me.
Robin: I know. I think they're giving out poison pies.
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Much: What? You think he's getting information?! From one of us? No... Master surely it's a mistake! A traitor?! Who? That's why you sent up back to camp! Because you suspect... you suspect me?!
Robin: Much, I have to suspect everybody!
Much: That's me, you suspect me?!
Robin: Much, go back to the camp!
Much: What do I have to do to prove my loyalty to you? What? Tell me! What? I'll chop off my own arms! Well...one arm because once I chop that off then...I wouldn't be able to...chop off...the other.
Robin: Much, I have to suspect everybody!
Much: That's me, you suspect me?!
Robin: Much, go back to the camp!
Much: What do I have to do to prove my loyalty to you? What? Tell me! What? I'll chop off my own arms! Well...one arm because once I chop that off then...I wouldn't be able to...chop off...the other.
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Matilda: Robin of Locksley. [as she rubs on Robin's beard] What's that beard? It's not either grown nor shaven, make up your mind!
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Matilda: A bee failed to kill him, and quack failed to kill him! I'll be damned if a boy I delivered into this world sneaks in and finishes off one of my patients!
Robin: Matilda, I can't let him live to speak his treason.
Matilda: [Sighs] So it's not his life your afraid, then? It's his tongue.
Robin: So...should we just cut out his tongue?
Matilda: [Smacks Robin on the head.] Men! Always thinking in a straight line!
Robin: Matilda, I can't let him live to speak his treason.
Matilda: [Sighs] So it's not his life your afraid, then? It's his tongue.
Robin: So...should we just cut out his tongue?
Matilda: [Smacks Robin on the head.] Men! Always thinking in a straight line!
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Sheriff: By the way, Marian sends a message.
Guy of Gisborne: What message?
Sheriff: "I'm not coming back, get over it... and for God's sake, change your clothes once in a while."
Guy of Gisborne: Very funny.
Guy of Gisborne: What message?
Sheriff: "I'm not coming back, get over it... and for God's sake, change your clothes once in a while."
Guy of Gisborne: Very funny.
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Sheriff: We have bad days. We have good days. And when we have Robin Hood laid out dead on our table, WE HAVE THE BEST DAYS OF OUR LIVES!!!!!
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Guy: Marian, do you really expect me to believe that you have given yourself to God?
Marian: I assure you I haven't given myself to anybody -- yet.
Guy: Good. Because until you do, I will always believe that there is a chance for you and me.
Marian: I assure you I haven't given myself to anybody -- yet.
Guy: Good. Because until you do, I will always believe that there is a chance for you and me.
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Guy: Come home to me!
Marian: You burned my home to the ground!
Guy: If I could take that back -- if I could show you the side of me that wants to build a home, not destroy it --
Marian: I've seen it!
Guy: Then why do you reject it?
Marian: You burned my home to the ground!
Guy: If I could take that back -- if I could show you the side of me that wants to build a home, not destroy it --
Marian: I've seen it!
Guy: Then why do you reject it?
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Matilda: [to the Sheriff]YOU... WEASEL-FACED... WHORE'S SON!!!
Sheriff: Sorry, who, Robin? No, Robin's not here! [laughs]
Sheriff: Sorry, who, Robin? No, Robin's not here! [laughs]
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)