Robin Hood (2006 TV series) Quotes
[After scaring the Sheriff's mercenaries with a hogshead full of black powder]
Robin: Black powder, Djaq? I thought I told you I never wanted to see that again!
Djaq: [shrugging] I disobeyed you.
Robin: ...Good!
Robin: Black powder, Djaq? I thought I told you I never wanted to see that again!
Djaq: [shrugging] I disobeyed you.
Robin: ...Good!
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Sheriff: Ah, news from Nettlestone! Nice? Nasty? Both? [chuckles]
Messenger: Small problem...
[Cut to the War room; the Sheriff bursts in angrily, followed by Gisborne and the Messenger]
Sheriff: "EXPLODING FIRE"?! WHADDAYA MEAN, "EXPLODING FIRE"?!
Gisborne: Black powder.
Sheriff: Yes, I know what it is.
Messenger: We want permission to burn down the barn. They'll be toast.
Sheriff: [irritated] Are you deaf? I told you: I want Hood's pretty little face, on his pretty little head, attached to his pretty little body, ON A PRETTY BIG SPIKE OUTSIDE MY CASTLE!!!
Messenger: Then what do we do? He's got food in there for a week.
Sheriff: I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO, I DON'T CARE HOW LONG IT TAKES!!! BRING ME HOOD'S BODY ON A SPIKE!!!
Messenger: Small problem...
[Cut to the War room; the Sheriff bursts in angrily, followed by Gisborne and the Messenger]
Sheriff: "EXPLODING FIRE"?! WHADDAYA MEAN, "EXPLODING FIRE"?!
Gisborne: Black powder.
Sheriff: Yes, I know what it is.
Messenger: We want permission to burn down the barn. They'll be toast.
Sheriff: [irritated] Are you deaf? I told you: I want Hood's pretty little face, on his pretty little head, attached to his pretty little body, ON A PRETTY BIG SPIKE OUTSIDE MY CASTLE!!!
Messenger: Then what do we do? He's got food in there for a week.
Sheriff: I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO, I DON'T CARE HOW LONG IT TAKES!!! BRING ME HOOD'S BODY ON A SPIKE!!!
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Will: So they're just going to wait?
Robin: Until we come out.
Much: And then kill us. Not even a conversation.
Robin: Until we come out.
Much: And then kill us. Not even a conversation.
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Sheriff: You missed all the fun, Gisborne. [indicating Marian] Your leper friend tried to kill me.
Gisborne: [to Allan] Did you know about this?
Allan: I didn't know anything.
Sheriff: Why would he know anything about this?
Gisborne: She knocked him out and took his sword.
Sheriff: What?
Allan: Well, I wasn't expecting it, was I? Or it wouldn't have happened. Yeah, she's good. But I'm better, though.
[The Sheriff approaches Allan, who realises his mistake]
Sheriff: "She's good, but I'm better." That means you knew she was capable of this. [to Gisborne] You knew, too, didn’t you?
Gisborne: My lord, please, I can explain.
Sheriff: [angrily] Well, you better had explain! Because she just made an attempt on my life!
Gisborne: [hesitantly] I recently discovered that Marian... was the Nightwatchman.
[Deadly silence]
Sheriff: ... What?! ... AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?!?!
Gisborne: I believed Marian's days as the Nightwatchman were over! I believed I had dealt with it--
Sheriff: BY TRICKING ME?!?! BY FAKING HER ESCAPE?!?! Who was it who ran away?
[Gisborne turns away; the Sheriff looks at Allan]
Allan: Look, I was just following orders, all right?
Gisborne: Yeah, I gave the order.
Sheriff: WHY?!?!
Gisborne: Because I thought Marian’s charitable instincts were misguided. I did not think they merited hanging!
Sheriff: [sarcastic] Oh, how very noble of you, jailboy! Although I can't help thinking that maybe you wanted a little something in return! Huh? A display of gratitude?
Gisborne: [to Allan] Did you know about this?
Allan: I didn't know anything.
Sheriff: Why would he know anything about this?
Gisborne: She knocked him out and took his sword.
Sheriff: What?
Allan: Well, I wasn't expecting it, was I? Or it wouldn't have happened. Yeah, she's good. But I'm better, though.
[The Sheriff approaches Allan, who realises his mistake]
Sheriff: "She's good, but I'm better." That means you knew she was capable of this. [to Gisborne] You knew, too, didn’t you?
Gisborne: My lord, please, I can explain.
Sheriff: [angrily] Well, you better had explain! Because she just made an attempt on my life!
Gisborne: [hesitantly] I recently discovered that Marian... was the Nightwatchman.
[Deadly silence]
Sheriff: ... What?! ... AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?!?!
Gisborne: I believed Marian's days as the Nightwatchman were over! I believed I had dealt with it--
Sheriff: BY TRICKING ME?!?! BY FAKING HER ESCAPE?!?! Who was it who ran away?
[Gisborne turns away; the Sheriff looks at Allan]
Allan: Look, I was just following orders, all right?
Gisborne: Yeah, I gave the order.
Sheriff: WHY?!?!
Gisborne: Because I thought Marian’s charitable instincts were misguided. I did not think they merited hanging!
Sheriff: [sarcastic] Oh, how very noble of you, jailboy! Although I can't help thinking that maybe you wanted a little something in return! Huh? A display of gratitude?
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Djaq: So I admire you. All of you. You are good men. Brave, generous, kind, decent men. And I love you, all of you. And I am proud to be amongst you.
Much: Is this what this is, just everyone saying that they love each other?
Djaq: Wait. And you're filthy, and you really stink, and you have no souls.
John: We live in the forest.
Djaq: I have to be honest! I have to be honest. And if I am being honest I have to say that I do not love all of you in the same way.
Much: It's me, isn't? You love everyone but you don't love me. Brilliant.
Djaq: There is one I do love more than the others, [Will looks up at her] the way a bird would fly two thousand miles through storms just to be with the one he loves.That is the love I feel and I am a fool becuase it is only now when we're about to die [looks up at Will] that I have the courage to admit it, even to myself. I'm sorry, I should have said earlier. You, Will Scarlett are strong and true, and you fight for what you believe in [Will smiles and looks down, tears in his eyes] and that's why I love you.
Will: [looking up at her again] And I love you. I love the way you say what you mean, I love your silly voice.
Djaq: Silly voice!? That's it, I take it back, all of it. I hate you.
Will: And I love the way you fight like a man, ferocious. And the way you'll always, always be a woman.
Much: Ka-lim-na. Boring.
Djaq: [Staring in disbelief at Will] Kalila.
Much: Whatever.
Much: Is this what this is, just everyone saying that they love each other?
Djaq: Wait. And you're filthy, and you really stink, and you have no souls.
John: We live in the forest.
Djaq: I have to be honest! I have to be honest. And if I am being honest I have to say that I do not love all of you in the same way.
Much: It's me, isn't? You love everyone but you don't love me. Brilliant.
Djaq: There is one I do love more than the others, [Will looks up at her] the way a bird would fly two thousand miles through storms just to be with the one he loves.That is the love I feel and I am a fool becuase it is only now when we're about to die [looks up at Will] that I have the courage to admit it, even to myself. I'm sorry, I should have said earlier. You, Will Scarlett are strong and true, and you fight for what you believe in [Will smiles and looks down, tears in his eyes] and that's why I love you.
Will: [looking up at her again] And I love you. I love the way you say what you mean, I love your silly voice.
Djaq: Silly voice!? That's it, I take it back, all of it. I hate you.
Will: And I love the way you fight like a man, ferocious. And the way you'll always, always be a woman.
Much: Ka-lim-na. Boring.
Djaq: [Staring in disbelief at Will] Kalila.
Much: Whatever.
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Allan: So you got a message to the King in the end, didja?
Much: Yeah! Well, no thanks to you.
Allan: Look, I've told you a hundred times, I'm sorry, alright? I'm back now, I'm one of the lads, let's just-
Much: Now, hands up, who hasn't betrayed the group? [Raises hand.]
Allan: Oh, this one again? How clever.
Much: Yeah! Well, no thanks to you.
Allan: Look, I've told you a hundred times, I'm sorry, alright? I'm back now, I'm one of the lads, let's just-
Much: Now, hands up, who hasn't betrayed the group? [Raises hand.]
Allan: Oh, this one again? How clever.
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Gisborne: My Lord, I have demonstrated my loyalty. Now I would like your blessing.
Sheriff: For what?
Gisborne: I will still have Marian. When we return to England, I will take her by force.
Sheriff: Dear boy, I'll sing at your wedding!
Sheriff: For what?
Gisborne: I will still have Marian. When we return to England, I will take her by force.
Sheriff: Dear boy, I'll sing at your wedding!
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Sheriff: I owe you a debt of gratitude, young lady. Thanks to you, I know that Guy is loyal, because if you can't turn him with your pretty little head, then nobody can.
Marian: Your heart... must be the coldest place on Earth.
Sheriff: Are you a little disappointed that he told me about your offer? I'm surprised it took you so long, to be quite honest with you. I mean, I was really getting rather bored.
Marian: And now I've served my purpose--
Sheriff: YOU TRIED TO KILL ME!!! YA THINK I'M GONNA LET THAT PASS?!?!
Marian: Your heart... must be the coldest place on Earth.
Sheriff: Are you a little disappointed that he told me about your offer? I'm surprised it took you so long, to be quite honest with you. I mean, I was really getting rather bored.
Marian: And now I've served my purpose--
Sheriff: YOU TRIED TO KILL ME!!! YA THINK I'M GONNA LET THAT PASS?!?!
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Sheriff: See, this is the trouble with foreign travel. You run into all the same people you see at home!
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Sheriff: All right, that's enough of the piety. No amount of la-di-da words can save their blackened souls!
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
[Hood is revealed to still be alive]
Tuck: You see, the sun emerges again, like England's protector - his journey is complete. He appears into the light and he will save you. He has returned. The legend is alive!
Jasper: [sarcastic] Surprise, surprise.
Gisborne: No, it can't be--
Sheriff: [to Gisborne]YOU INCOMPETENT... FOOL!!!
Tuck: You see, the sun emerges again, like England's protector - his journey is complete. He appears into the light and he will save you. He has returned. The legend is alive!
Jasper: [sarcastic] Surprise, surprise.
Gisborne: No, it can't be--
Sheriff: [to Gisborne]YOU INCOMPETENT... FOOL!!!
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Sheriff: Abbot! Where in hell have you been?
Abbot: Rome! How dare you summon me to your quarters like a common serf!
Sheriff: My lord, I need you.
Abbot: And it couldn't wait until tomorrow?
Sheriff: No. It's too late for absolution. They meet on the landing halfway. [grovelling] You are the only one who can help me now.
Abbot: If you are truly willing to repent for all your sins...
Sheriff: [nodding eagerly] I am!
Abbot: ... then you must make your peace with God, my son, and pray for his forgiveness.
Sheriff: Ah, well, you see, it's not God I'm worried about. It's Prince John.
Abbot: [smiles] Then you really are in trouble!
Sheriff: He already has Gisborne, and it's anyone's guess what he's doing with him.
Abbot: Well, knowing the Prince as I do, my advice is this: please him.
Sheriff: [incredulous] ... "Please him"?! Whaddaya think I've been doing all this time?! WEAVING TAPESTRIES?!?!
Abbot: Rome! How dare you summon me to your quarters like a common serf!
Sheriff: My lord, I need you.
Abbot: And it couldn't wait until tomorrow?
Sheriff: No. It's too late for absolution. They meet on the landing halfway. [grovelling] You are the only one who can help me now.
Abbot: If you are truly willing to repent for all your sins...
Sheriff: [nodding eagerly] I am!
Abbot: ... then you must make your peace with God, my son, and pray for his forgiveness.
Sheriff: Ah, well, you see, it's not God I'm worried about. It's Prince John.
Abbot: [smiles] Then you really are in trouble!
Sheriff: He already has Gisborne, and it's anyone's guess what he's doing with him.
Abbot: Well, knowing the Prince as I do, my advice is this: please him.
Sheriff: [incredulous] ... "Please him"?! Whaddaya think I've been doing all this time?! WEAVING TAPESTRIES?!?!
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Sheriff: [to his guards] I thought I doubled the guard! Or did I just double the incompetence?! YOU ALLOWED HOOD TO ESCAPE AGAIN!!! You are more useless than Gisborne! [kicks a guard in the groin, then knocks him down the steps]
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Sheriff: So, Prince John sent you back to Nottingham with a mission, and yet nobody saw ?t to tell me. The last time I checked, I was still the Sheriff.
Gisborne: The Prince is still waiting for his thousand crowns. His patience wears thin.
Sheriff: As indeed does mine. What's the mission?
Gisborne: He wants me to kill Robin Hood.
Sheriff: [chuckles] I'm sure he does! But you've, err... you've never managed it before, Gisborne, hm? Although you did once have him at your sword point, and yet still he bested you!
Gisborne: Well, this time it will be different. This time I will command the mission without incompetent, illconceived interference from others.
Sheriff: [smugly] No. You will fail, like you've always failed before, and then you will come back and beg me for my patronage!
Gisborne: The Prince is still waiting for his thousand crowns. His patience wears thin.
Sheriff: As indeed does mine. What's the mission?
Gisborne: He wants me to kill Robin Hood.
Sheriff: [chuckles] I'm sure he does! But you've, err... you've never managed it before, Gisborne, hm? Although you did once have him at your sword point, and yet still he bested you!
Gisborne: Well, this time it will be different. This time I will command the mission without incompetent, illconceived interference from others.
Sheriff: [smugly] No. You will fail, like you've always failed before, and then you will come back and beg me for my patronage!
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
[After Walt reveals that Bertha of Bath has tried to have John killed]
John: WHAT?!
Bertha: He's exaggerating! That's what he does, you know how he goes on--
Walt: No, I'm telling the truth to save your life, just like I said I would!
Sheriff: [to Bertha] I warned you what would happen the next time you crossed me! [to his guards, pointing at Little John]KILL HIM!!! ARREST THE OTHERS!!!
John: WHAT?!
Bertha: He's exaggerating! That's what he does, you know how he goes on--
Walt: No, I'm telling the truth to save your life, just like I said I would!
Sheriff: [to Bertha] I warned you what would happen the next time you crossed me! [to his guards, pointing at Little John]KILL HIM!!! ARREST THE OTHERS!!!
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Bertha: If I didn't do what the Sheriff told me, he was going to kill us all!
Sheriff: What an excellent idea! [his guards arrest Bertha] So exactly how far did you think you'd get, Bertha? We had a deal.
John: The deal is off. You do not touch those children.
Sheriff: No, no, I just want the money from the wagers. She's welcome to the slaving money.
John: What?!
Sheriff: Oh, I suppose she told you that she took the children off the streets out of the goodness of her heart? [chuckles]
Bertha: Look at them. They're healthy and well-fed--
Sheriff: Healthier children fetch a bigger price! She's been doing it for years - taking waifs and strays off the streets, fattening them up and then selling them on at the end of the season.
John: Have you?
Sheriff: Yes. Not this year, though. [chuckles] Take her to the dungeons. [points to the boys] Oh, and, err, arrest those.
John: [ready to fight] LEAVE... THEM... BE!
Sheriff: [walking away, bored] Somebody kill that man.
Sheriff: What an excellent idea! [his guards arrest Bertha] So exactly how far did you think you'd get, Bertha? We had a deal.
John: The deal is off. You do not touch those children.
Sheriff: No, no, I just want the money from the wagers. She's welcome to the slaving money.
John: What?!
Sheriff: Oh, I suppose she told you that she took the children off the streets out of the goodness of her heart? [chuckles]
Bertha: Look at them. They're healthy and well-fed--
Sheriff: Healthier children fetch a bigger price! She's been doing it for years - taking waifs and strays off the streets, fattening them up and then selling them on at the end of the season.
John: Have you?
Sheriff: Yes. Not this year, though. [chuckles] Take her to the dungeons. [points to the boys] Oh, and, err, arrest those.
John: [ready to fight] LEAVE... THEM... BE!
Sheriff: [walking away, bored] Somebody kill that man.
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
[After Robin, John and the others save the children from Bertha]
Robin: It isn't safe for children in Nottingham!
Sheriff: So says the outlaw! But for once, I am pleased to see you, Hood. It means that Gisborne has snatched defeat from the jaws of victory once again!
Robin: It isn't safe for children in Nottingham!
Sheriff: So says the outlaw! But for once, I am pleased to see you, Hood. It means that Gisborne has snatched defeat from the jaws of victory once again!
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)
Sheriff: Well might you hang your head in shame, Gisborne. You've let him escape again, [points at Isabella] and this, this... Is THIS what distracted you?!
Gisborne: This is my sister.
Sheriff: [sarcastic] Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry. You were busy playing happy families! Your level of incompetence never, ever ceases to amaze me, Gisborne. Every time I think you've plumbed a new depth, along you come and surprise me all over again! Well maybe now, Prince John will remember why he put ME IN COMMAND!!!
Gisborne: This is my sister.
Sheriff: [sarcastic] Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry. You were busy playing happy families! Your level of incompetence never, ever ceases to amaze me, Gisborne. Every time I think you've plumbed a new depth, along you come and surprise me all over again! Well maybe now, Prince John will remember why he put ME IN COMMAND!!!
TV Show: Robin Hood (2006 TV series)