Robot Chicken Quotes
Godzilla: So why are you here?
Godzilla Jr.: I want to destroy cities and rid the streets of weaponry.
Godzilla: Yeah, but, why are you really here?
Godzilla Jr.: I wanna be king of the monsters.
Godzilla: There you go. Now, if you stick with me, you'll make it, but, uh, you gotta unlearn that bullshit that they teach ya in Monster Island now, cuz that shit gonna get ya killed out here.
Godzilla Jr.: I'll do anything you want me to do.
Godzilla: [laughs] My lizard. Now how's your Japanese?
Godzilla Jr.: Not that good.
Godzilla: Well, you learn that shit then, brother, cos that shit gonna get ya killed. These motherfuckers out there be plottin' all types of shit on ya.
Godzilla Jr.: I want to destroy cities and rid the streets of weaponry.
Godzilla: Yeah, but, why are you really here?
Godzilla Jr.: I wanna be king of the monsters.
Godzilla: There you go. Now, if you stick with me, you'll make it, but, uh, you gotta unlearn that bullshit that they teach ya in Monster Island now, cuz that shit gonna get ya killed out here.
Godzilla Jr.: I'll do anything you want me to do.
Godzilla: [laughs] My lizard. Now how's your Japanese?
Godzilla Jr.: Not that good.
Godzilla: Well, you learn that shit then, brother, cos that shit gonna get ya killed. These motherfuckers out there be plottin' all types of shit on ya.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Godzilla: Hey yo, Mazinger! You got my stuff?
Mazinger: Yo, what you need, Zilla? Check it out, I got rocket firing hands; I got rockets for your shoulders and legs, man, my shit is tight!
Godzilla: Oh, yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about. But anyway... [roars, shoots a beam at Mazinger, killing him]
Godzilla Jr.: What did you do!?
Godzilla: Justifiable homicide on the line of duty.
Godzilla Jr.: No, that was murder!
Godzilla: Open your eyes, son.
Godzilla Jr.: That man was your friend, and you killed him like a fly!
Godzilla: Why is he my friend, huh? Because he knows my name? Mazinger sold guns and rockets; the world is a better place without him anyway. Now get your ass in the car.
Godzilla Jr.: No way, man. I'm getting reassigned.
Godzilla: Well, you do that! You tell them what I did; I don't give a damn, cuz I got news for ya: King Kong ain't got shit on me! [King Kong appears behind him and throws feces at Godzilla]
Mazinger: Yo, what you need, Zilla? Check it out, I got rocket firing hands; I got rockets for your shoulders and legs, man, my shit is tight!
Godzilla: Oh, yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about. But anyway... [roars, shoots a beam at Mazinger, killing him]
Godzilla Jr.: What did you do!?
Godzilla: Justifiable homicide on the line of duty.
Godzilla Jr.: No, that was murder!
Godzilla: Open your eyes, son.
Godzilla Jr.: That man was your friend, and you killed him like a fly!
Godzilla: Why is he my friend, huh? Because he knows my name? Mazinger sold guns and rockets; the world is a better place without him anyway. Now get your ass in the car.
Godzilla Jr.: No way, man. I'm getting reassigned.
Godzilla: Well, you do that! You tell them what I did; I don't give a damn, cuz I got news for ya: King Kong ain't got shit on me! [King Kong appears behind him and throws feces at Godzilla]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Old Woman: Help! I've fallen and I can't get up! [long pause] I said, I've fallen--
Life Call employee: Pick alert at you service!
Old Woman: Oh, thank goodness. You see, I've fallen and I can't get... [employee tiptoes to the lounge] Uh... mister? Sir? [employee steals television] With my things, you're... [steals her handbag] What are you doi--?
Life Call employee: Pick alert at you service!
Old Woman: Oh, thank goodness. You see, I've fallen and I can't get... [employee tiptoes to the lounge] Uh... mister? Sir? [employee steals television] With my things, you're... [steals her handbag] What are you doi--?
TV Show: Robot Chicken
SWAT 1: That stopped him.
SWAT 2: Yeah, but man, a spikestrip? I mean, couldn't we had tried a warning first?
SWAT 1: Yeah, we could've, but we didn't. Heh heh heh.
SWAT 2: Yeah, but man, a spikestrip? I mean, couldn't we had tried a warning first?
SWAT 1: Yeah, we could've, but we didn't. Heh heh heh.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Beast-Man: Boss, this is taking forever.
Skeletor: Keep chopping, you drain clog! Once we harvest the energy of the oldest tree in Eternia, we can destroy Castle Grayskull once and for all!
Evil-Lyn: You know, Skeletor, based on our track record, this probably won't work.
Skeletor: Uh, life's a journey, not a destination.
He-Man: Not so fast, Skeletor! Trees are some of our precious resources.
Skeletor: Uhhh, who are you talking to?
He-Man: Your face!
Skeletor: Ow!
He-Man: You know what they say: a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush! [kicks Evil-Lyn in the groin]
[slapping Skeletor repeatedly] What, you're gonna cry now? Cry like a big baby?
Skeletor: Stop it! All right! Okay! All right! Okay, stop it! You know what? Okay, I don't even have tear ducts, you jerk!
He-Man: You know what you need? A good skull-fucking.
Skeletor: Wha-what?
He-Man: (hit behind the back with an axe) Ugh! What the--? (falls over dead)
Skeletor: Oh crap! Oh crap! Beast-Man, what did you do?
Beast-Man: I-I-I don't know! I thought he would block it or something, I mean... he's He-Man!
Evil-Lyn: This is the first murder in Eternian history! If the King finds out, it's guillotine for us all!
Skeletor: Oh God, oh God! Oh, we're up shit creek without a paddle, man!
Skeletor: Keep chopping, you drain clog! Once we harvest the energy of the oldest tree in Eternia, we can destroy Castle Grayskull once and for all!
Evil-Lyn: You know, Skeletor, based on our track record, this probably won't work.
Skeletor: Uh, life's a journey, not a destination.
He-Man: Not so fast, Skeletor! Trees are some of our precious resources.
Skeletor: Uhhh, who are you talking to?
He-Man: Your face!
Skeletor: Ow!
He-Man: You know what they say: a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush! [kicks Evil-Lyn in the groin]
[slapping Skeletor repeatedly] What, you're gonna cry now? Cry like a big baby?
Skeletor: Stop it! All right! Okay! All right! Okay, stop it! You know what? Okay, I don't even have tear ducts, you jerk!
He-Man: You know what you need? A good skull-fucking.
Skeletor: Wha-what?
He-Man: (hit behind the back with an axe) Ugh! What the--? (falls over dead)
Skeletor: Oh crap! Oh crap! Beast-Man, what did you do?
Beast-Man: I-I-I don't know! I thought he would block it or something, I mean... he's He-Man!
Evil-Lyn: This is the first murder in Eternian history! If the King finds out, it's guillotine for us all!
Skeletor: Oh God, oh God! Oh, we're up shit creek without a paddle, man!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Lion-O: Stop right there Mumm-Ra- Oh my god!
Mrs. Mumbletipeg: I have been embarrass moments!
Lion-O: He's getting away!
Mrs. Mumbletipeg: Ugh! You stupid Thundercats!
Mrs. Mumbletipeg: I have been embarrass moments!
Lion-O: He's getting away!
Mrs. Mumbletipeg: Ugh! You stupid Thundercats!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Bob the Builder: Why, someone left this job half-done. Can we fix it?
Scoop, Muck, Dizzy, Roley: Yes, we can!
Union Guy: [surrounded by two goons] Ain't nobody finishing nothing.
Bob the Builder: I'm sorry, who are you?
Union Guy: We're from the union, and we say you don't have the right equipment for this job.
Bob the Builder: We have all the equipment we need.
Union Guy: Really? You got a talking briefcase full of hundred-dollar bills over there?
Bob the Builder: No, but... [Goons push and pound Bob between them and Union Guy kicks him in the balls]
Spud: Can I play too?
Union Guy: Sure, asshole. [He rips off Spud's nose] Hope you like smelling what you ate.
[Pilchard the cat pounces on the Union Guy. Bob uses his drill on a goon's face. Spud grabs a shovel and beats the goons with it.]
Bob the Builder: Spud! Don't forget to wear your safety goggles.
Spud: Aw, thanks, Bob.
[He resumes beating the goon as the Union Guy runs away]
Roley: Woo, rock and roll! [Steamrolls over the Union Guy]
Bob the Builder: Now dig these motherfuckers a grave, Scoop.
Scoop: [digging a hole] No prob, Bob!
[Muck loads the dead Union Guy and goons into the hole, Scoop pushes them in, and Dizzy pours cement on top]
All: Yay!
Spud: [screwing his nose back on] Ew, New Jersey smells like bad tuna. Can we go home?
All: Yes, we can! Yay!
Scoop, Muck, Dizzy, Roley: Yes, we can!
Union Guy: [surrounded by two goons] Ain't nobody finishing nothing.
Bob the Builder: I'm sorry, who are you?
Union Guy: We're from the union, and we say you don't have the right equipment for this job.
Bob the Builder: We have all the equipment we need.
Union Guy: Really? You got a talking briefcase full of hundred-dollar bills over there?
Bob the Builder: No, but... [Goons push and pound Bob between them and Union Guy kicks him in the balls]
Spud: Can I play too?
Union Guy: Sure, asshole. [He rips off Spud's nose] Hope you like smelling what you ate.
[Pilchard the cat pounces on the Union Guy. Bob uses his drill on a goon's face. Spud grabs a shovel and beats the goons with it.]
Bob the Builder: Spud! Don't forget to wear your safety goggles.
Spud: Aw, thanks, Bob.
[He resumes beating the goon as the Union Guy runs away]
Roley: Woo, rock and roll! [Steamrolls over the Union Guy]
Bob the Builder: Now dig these motherfuckers a grave, Scoop.
Scoop: [digging a hole] No prob, Bob!
[Muck loads the dead Union Guy and goons into the hole, Scoop pushes them in, and Dizzy pours cement on top]
All: Yay!
Spud: [screwing his nose back on] Ew, New Jersey smells like bad tuna. Can we go home?
All: Yes, we can! Yay!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
News anchor: In tonight's news, you can find the words; night, tight, tits, tots, stew, whino, ghost, and the name Tony if you spell it with an i.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Scientist: (announcing Pluto's downgrade from planet status) Also, A is no longer a vowel, north no longer a direction... and your sister, no longer A VIRGIN!!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Man 1: Damn These Laff-A-Lympics! Even though we cheat, we always lose, but not this time.
Boo-Boo: What's going on Yogi?
Shaggy: Like what the f*** are you doing man?
Boo-Boo: What's going on Yogi?
Shaggy: Like what the f*** are you doing man?
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Exterminator: No, this is so I'll know where to throw this! (throws a grenade down the hole, ducks and covers Doc and himself)
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Fraggles: (singing) Happy, happy day, Fraggles say it's a happy day, Happy, happy day, Nothing can go wrong...
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Reverse Flash: So long, Flash! You'll have to pick up the pace if you want to catch Reverse Flash!
Flash: Uh! Again with Reverse Flash! He looks just like me, but with the exact opposite color scheme, brilliant.
Superman: At least he wears a mask. Bizzaro Superman looks just like me, but with a face like somebody threw up in an ice tray. Seriously, looks like someone shit out kryptonite and then put it on someone's face again.
Wonder Woman: Have you ever seen Negative Wonder Woman?
Negative Wonder Woman: (wearing sleeves and stockings, dispaying her breasts and pubes) Hey Wonder Woman! Fuck you! Now where did I leave my visible jet? Oh, look, there it is. Easy to find!
Wonder Woman: Don't grab her or anything.
Superman: I grab her.
Flash: Grab her till she couldn't walk. Booyah!
Flash: Uh! Again with Reverse Flash! He looks just like me, but with the exact opposite color scheme, brilliant.
Superman: At least he wears a mask. Bizzaro Superman looks just like me, but with a face like somebody threw up in an ice tray. Seriously, looks like someone shit out kryptonite and then put it on someone's face again.
Wonder Woman: Have you ever seen Negative Wonder Woman?
Negative Wonder Woman: (wearing sleeves and stockings, dispaying her breasts and pubes) Hey Wonder Woman! Fuck you! Now where did I leave my visible jet? Oh, look, there it is. Easy to find!
Wonder Woman: Don't grab her or anything.
Superman: I grab her.
Flash: Grab her till she couldn't walk. Booyah!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Barfly: You know, like the rest of the world, soccer is called "football". [Two police officials attack the barfly] Hey! Hey-- Ow! Ow! What's goin' on? Why are you touching--?
Announcer: Hello, there. What you've just seen was a dramatization of the new Asshole laws enacted by Congress, which going to effect January 1st. It's now a federal offense to point out that soccer is actually called football.
Nerd: Uh, in fact, no Star Trek episode contains the words, "Beam me up, Scotty." Agh! Ow, ow, my arm! My-- argh! Ow! Ow-how! [It's the law, asshole!]
Civilian: You know, Iceland is actually green, and Greenland is actually icy. Argh! Agh, agh-ha! Oh, help me, help me, help, me, help! [It's the law, asshole!]
Worker: Heroes is way better, because it actually answers stuff. On Lost, they don't even know what they're doing. Oof! What are you doing? No, wait! Ooh, ugh, ooh, agh, oof, ugh! [It's the law, asshole!]
Announcer: Hello, there. What you've just seen was a dramatization of the new Asshole laws enacted by Congress, which going to effect January 1st. It's now a federal offense to point out that soccer is actually called football.
Nerd: Uh, in fact, no Star Trek episode contains the words, "Beam me up, Scotty." Agh! Ow, ow, my arm! My-- argh! Ow! Ow-how! [It's the law, asshole!]
Civilian: You know, Iceland is actually green, and Greenland is actually icy. Argh! Agh, agh-ha! Oh, help me, help me, help, me, help! [It's the law, asshole!]
Worker: Heroes is way better, because it actually answers stuff. On Lost, they don't even know what they're doing. Oof! What are you doing? No, wait! Ooh, ugh, ooh, agh, oof, ugh! [It's the law, asshole!]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Princess Adora: "Shut Up! Shut Up! SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUP!!!! What does it take to get a piece of quiet around here?"
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Army Corps of Engineers Smurf: "Papa Smurf Papa Smurf it's smurfing like a mothersmurfer. What if the dam breaks?"
TV Show: Robot Chicken