Robot Chicken Quotes
Velma: Now let's see who you really are. [Unmaskes Jason] Old Man Phillips?! But why?
Phillips: Spanish doubloons in that lake! Thousands as far as the eye can see! It would have been all mine, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Velma: A-a bunch of coins?! My friends are all dead! They're dead, and I'm still a virgin! A virgin!!
Phillips: Y'know... we can fix that.
Phillips: Spanish doubloons in that lake! Thousands as far as the eye can see! It would have been all mine, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Velma: A-a bunch of coins?! My friends are all dead! They're dead, and I'm still a virgin! A virgin!!
Phillips: Y'know... we can fix that.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Reporter #1: Mayor McCheese! Mayor McCheese! How do your views differ from Governor Schwarzenegger given that he's a republican, and you have a cheeseburger for a head?
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Mayor McCheese: It's a birth defect! Oh, I've dealt with prejudice all my life...
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Reporter #2: Mr. Mayor! Mr. Mayor! There have been allegations that you've taken women to motel rooms and paid them to go to the bathroom on your chest.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Devil: What the hell?!(after hell gets frozen over)
Nerd (in a singsong voice): I got laid! I got laid! I got laid!
Hot girl: What can I say? Nerds are hot.
Nerd (still singing): Gonna tell the internet! Laid! Laid! Laid! L-a-y-e-d! Laid! Laid! Laid! Laid! [hangs from the ceiling] Laid! Laid! Laid! Laid!
Nerd (in a singsong voice): I got laid! I got laid! I got laid!
Hot girl: What can I say? Nerds are hot.
Nerd (still singing): Gonna tell the internet! Laid! Laid! Laid! L-a-y-e-d! Laid! Laid! Laid! Laid! [hangs from the ceiling] Laid! Laid! Laid! Laid!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Freddy Krueger: If Ghostface got voted out, take it from Freddy, that would be a dream come true. Ha ha ha ha! You get it? Ha ha ha ha! A dream! Ha ha ha ha! I kill people in their nightmares. That is what I do, that's my thing.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Freddy Kreuger: Fighting boredom is the hardest part of living in the Big Brother house.
(Jason Voorhes playing charades, mimes TV, a robot, and a chicken)
Freddy Kreuger: In case you were wondering, the answer was The Da Vinci Code.
(Jason Voorhes playing charades, mimes TV, a robot, and a chicken)
Freddy Kreuger: In case you were wondering, the answer was The Da Vinci Code.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Doug: I wanna end up in Keira Knightley's underwear!
Monk: (sighs) Everyone wishes for that.
(Later)
Doug: (To Keira Knightley) I was almost your underwear, ya know.
Monk: (sighs) Everyone wishes for that.
(Later)
Doug: (To Keira Knightley) I was almost your underwear, ya know.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Timmy: (when kid 2 gets done raking leaves, he jumps into the pile) Ha ha jerkass! (hits a hidden fire hydrant)
Kid 2: I got you, Timmy!
Timmy: I...can't feel my arms and legs.
Kid 2: I got you, Timmy!
Timmy: I...can't feel my arms and legs.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Gohan: Dad, could you kick an angel's ass?
Goku: You're damn right I could.
Gohan: Is that Santa on the roof?
Goku: Well if not, I got a present for him. [racks handgun slide]
(Santa falls hard out of the chimney.)
Gohan: Santa, Santa!
Santa: Oh! my motherfucking knee, Oh, fuck! Fuck! Oh, fucking damn it out of hell that hurts like a motherfucker!
Gohan: Dad, what's a scrotum?
Goku: Uh... er... heh. So, uh Santa, what happened?
Santa: Bandits, Goku; they stole my reindeer, and all the presents... and my pants!
Goku: You're damn right I could.
Gohan: Is that Santa on the roof?
Goku: Well if not, I got a present for him. [racks handgun slide]
(Santa falls hard out of the chimney.)
Gohan: Santa, Santa!
Santa: Oh! my motherfucking knee, Oh, fuck! Fuck! Oh, fucking damn it out of hell that hurts like a motherfucker!
Gohan: Dad, what's a scrotum?
Goku: Uh... er... heh. So, uh Santa, what happened?
Santa: Bandits, Goku; they stole my reindeer, and all the presents... and my pants!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
The Nutcracker: Ha ha ha, Christmas is ours!
Reindeer: You'll never get away with this!
Composite Santa: Ho, ho, ho! (Makes a fist) I've got five good reasons for you to shut up: (Pulls out a gun and shoots the reindeer five times) One, two, three-four-five!
Reindeer: You'll never get away with this!
Composite Santa: Ho, ho, ho! (Makes a fist) I've got five good reasons for you to shut up: (Pulls out a gun and shoots the reindeer five times) One, two, three-four-five!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Gohan: Dad, who are those guys?
Goku: Kung fu legends. That's the Little Drummer Boy; his mystical drum conjures summon demons most foul. The Nutcracker; he knows over 100 different testicle-based attacks. And Composite Santa Claus, who looks like one half Santa and one half Frosty the Snowman.
Gohan: What are Composite Santa's powers?
Goku: I don't know, but he freaks me right the fuck out.
Composite Santa: Intruders!!!
Little Drummer Boy: I will conquer the demon with my magical drum! Hahahaha!! [he fights playing the drums and drops the sticks]
Goku: Kung fu legends. That's the Little Drummer Boy; his mystical drum conjures summon demons most foul. The Nutcracker; he knows over 100 different testicle-based attacks. And Composite Santa Claus, who looks like one half Santa and one half Frosty the Snowman.
Gohan: What are Composite Santa's powers?
Goku: I don't know, but he freaks me right the fuck out.
Composite Santa: Intruders!!!
Little Drummer Boy: I will conquer the demon with my magical drum! Hahahaha!! [he fights playing the drums and drops the sticks]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Reindeers: [After seeing Goku and Gohan's Kamehameha, killing two reindeers, making like a path] Holy shit!!!!
Composite Santa: [Composite Santa is vertically cut in half by the Kamehameha blast] Temperatures over 32 degrees farenheit... my only weakness! [Composite Santa dies]
Composite Santa: [Composite Santa is vertically cut in half by the Kamehameha blast] Temperatures over 32 degrees farenheit... my only weakness! [Composite Santa dies]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Goku: We did it!
Mrs. Santa: Fools!
Goku: Mrs. Santa?
Mrs. Santa: The evil sigestion of attacking christmas is me!
Mrs. Santa: Fools!
Goku: Mrs. Santa?
Mrs. Santa: The evil sigestion of attacking christmas is me!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
(After taking down the NutCracker with his nimbus cloud)
Gohan: Hah! You're not so tough!
Nutcraker: Testicle attack No. 49!! (punches Gohan in the groin)
Gohan: Owww! My Dragonball!
Gohan: Hah! You're not so tough!
Nutcraker: Testicle attack No. 49!! (punches Gohan in the groin)
Gohan: Owww! My Dragonball!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Reindeer 1: Your nose shoots lasers?
Rudolph: You don't think there is a reason it glows red? What does yours shoot? (Reindeer 1 blows boogers from his snout) Eww!
Rudolph: You don't think there is a reason it glows red? What does yours shoot? (Reindeer 1 blows boogers from his snout) Eww!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Composite Santa: [After a long Dragon-Ball style "powering up" sequence] Okay, I've got nothing....
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Reindeer 1: It's payback time! Let's beat her up so bad, her kids will inherit the bruises!
Reindeer 2: Yeah, we'll hit her so hard, she'll starve to death rolling!
Reindeer 1: She's so ugly, we'll push her face in dough and make gorilla biscuits!
Reindeer 2: She so black, when she go to night school, teacher mark her absent!
Santa: Tha-that-that's still my wife, guys.
Reindeer 2: Yeah, we'll hit her so hard, she'll starve to death rolling!
Reindeer 1: She's so ugly, we'll push her face in dough and make gorilla biscuits!
Reindeer 2: She so black, when she go to night school, teacher mark her absent!
Santa: Tha-that-that's still my wife, guys.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Santa: [Referring to the mutated Mrs. Santa] She's grown too gigantic and unstable! Women.... am I right, fellas?
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Goku: The Tenka'ichi Budôkai is finally complete.
Santa: What the fuck are you talking about? Was that even English? What happened to my wife? [A reindeer eats the snowflake; Santa sighs] This is the last time I bring presents to Japan. [Little Drummer Boy does a rimshot and drops his sticks]
Santa: What the fuck are you talking about? Was that even English? What happened to my wife? [A reindeer eats the snowflake; Santa sighs] This is the last time I bring presents to Japan. [Little Drummer Boy does a rimshot and drops his sticks]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
[Two adults are riding a seesaw.]
Little Child: [Runs up to them.] Can I play?
Adult: Oh, you go to hell, you piece of garbage!
[Little Child runs off crying]
Little Child: [Runs up to them.] Can I play?
Adult: Oh, you go to hell, you piece of garbage!
[Little Child runs off crying]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Mike Lazzo: Hi y'all! I'm Adult Swim president Mike Lazzo. The decision of the council is now fixin' to be heard.
Peter Griffin: Guilty!
Space Ghost: Guilty.
Master Shake: Oh ho, you're so-o frickin' guilty.
Seth Green: (screen starts to fly away into space) "Nooooooo!!!! Aggghhh--!! (screen crashes onto a UFO)
Alien 1: I think we hit something.
Alien 2: Dammit, dammit, dammit!
Seth Green: Aggghh!! (falls down onto his seat) Ummff!
Keith Crofford: Hey Seth, what happened to you?"
Seth Green: I don't know. (slime comes down as audience laughs)
Keith Crofford: (laughs) You're renewed.
Peter Griffin: Guilty!
Space Ghost: Guilty.
Master Shake: Oh ho, you're so-o frickin' guilty.
Seth Green: (screen starts to fly away into space) "Nooooooo!!!! Aggghhh--!! (screen crashes onto a UFO)
Alien 1: I think we hit something.
Alien 2: Dammit, dammit, dammit!
Seth Green: Aggghh!! (falls down onto his seat) Ummff!
Keith Crofford: Hey Seth, what happened to you?"
Seth Green: I don't know. (slime comes down as audience laughs)
Keith Crofford: (laughs) You're renewed.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Skater McGee: And now I'm off to the next town to kill more teenagers.
Mayor: You're doing God's work, Skater McGee.
Mayor: You're doing God's work, Skater McGee.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Mr. Potato Head: (to Mrs. Potato Head after she gives birth to a carrot) You whore!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Jesus: Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. (everyone drops their stones, Jesus then hits the prisoner with his stone) Blammo!
TV Show: Robot Chicken