Robot Chicken Quotes
Murky: If only we had Rainbow Brite's magic star sprinkle, we turned the whole world gray!
Owner: Guys, every night with this. What's so gray about turning the world gray anyway?
Lurky: Whoa! It really uses a metaforce.
Owner: If you wanna do something evil, arson is pretty evil.
Murky: Look it-- [Punches his face] Shut up!
Lurky: I say we break all the magic sprites and take all the star sprinkles we want!
Murky: I'm here, what's under the sink?
Lurky: Tampons!
Owner: Guys, every night with this. What's so gray about turning the world gray anyway?
Lurky: Whoa! It really uses a metaforce.
Owner: If you wanna do something evil, arson is pretty evil.
Murky: Look it-- [Punches his face] Shut up!
Lurky: I say we break all the magic sprites and take all the star sprinkles we want!
Murky: I'm here, what's under the sink?
Lurky: Tampons!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Murky: Uh oh, Game over man! Game over! Rainbow Brite's gonna kick our asses if she finds us in here!
Rainbow Brite: Oh good God! What a day!
Rainbow Brite: *sigh* Damn! I was all the meaded for hours.
Rainbow Brite: Hahaha! Black people are so much funnier than white people.
Rainbow Brite: Damn! I'm active starving!
Rainbow Brite: Intruders!
Murky: Let's get the f*** outta her man!
Rainbow Brite: Oh good God! What a day!
Rainbow Brite: *sigh* Damn! I was all the meaded for hours.
Rainbow Brite: Hahaha! Black people are so much funnier than white people.
Rainbow Brite: Damn! I'm active starving!
Rainbow Brite: Intruders!
Murky: Let's get the f*** outta her man!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Gene Okerlund: And Hitler takes a flaming chair to the spine in what will surely go down in history as one of Wrestlemania's greatest moments! Sergeant Schultz do you have any comment?
Sergeant Schultz: I'm no Nazi!!
Sergeant Schultz: I'm no Nazi!!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Archie: What if you can't avoid the Grim Reaper?
Betty: Who's he, he sounds dreamy!
Reggie: Blondes are dumb whores!
[Everybody laughs]
Betty: Who's he, he sounds dreamy!
Reggie: Blondes are dumb whores!
[Everybody laughs]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Betty: Come with me Archie, I'm sweet and innocent.
Veronica: Come with me Archie, I'm rich and easy.
Archie: (thinking about it) I choose...
[Betty crosses the street and gets hit by a bus. Veronica looks hopeful at Archie.]
Archie: (still thinking about it, completely oblivious to what just happened) Still deciding...
[Veronica groans]
Veronica: Come with me Archie, I'm rich and easy.
Archie: (thinking about it) I choose...
[Betty crosses the street and gets hit by a bus. Veronica looks hopeful at Archie.]
Archie: (still thinking about it, completely oblivious to what just happened) Still deciding...
[Veronica groans]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Moose: Duh Ms. Grundy, what's a haiku?
Ms. Grundy: It's a kind of poem.
Moose: Duh, what's death?
Ms. Grundy: Oh Moose, just make yours about football.
Ms. Grundy: It's a kind of poem.
Moose: Duh, what's death?
Ms. Grundy: Oh Moose, just make yours about football.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Man: [sitting on top of a chimney] Hey baby, Merry Christmas. Yes, I know I said I'd stop calling but it's the holidays and I just wanted to say how happy I am that you found someone new. Is he there right now? Oh the whole family is there opening presents. Well that's just great because I have a present for you. [starts cutting his head off, which falls through chimney]
People in the House: Oh God! Santa?
People in the House: Oh God! Santa?
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Alien #1: Oh dear, our fleets are being destroyed!
Alien #2: Will help ever arrive?
Alien #2: Will help ever arrive?
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Buck Rogers: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Did someone call for a hero?
Alien #1: Oh, thank goodness! F(bleep)ck Rogers is finally here!
Buck Rogers: What.. did you just call me?
Alien #1: F(bleep)ck!
Alien #2: F(bleep)ck Rogers!
Buck Rogers: [goes near Alien #1: ] My name is Buck. Buck Rogers.
Alien #3: The Robots are through the south defenses! F(bleep)ck Rogers, we need your help immediately!
Buck Rogers: [annoyed groaning]
Alien #1: It's Buck!
Buck Rogers: My name is Buck, not F(bleep)ck! What's with you aliens?!
Alien #4: F(bleep)ck!
Buck Rogers: It's Buck! Damn what the-- it's Buck! Buck! Buck! BUCK!
Alien #4: What are you talking about?! I've been shot! F(bleep)ck, it hurts! [dies]
Alien #5: Welcome, F(bleep)ck!
Alien #1: [as Buck gets annoyed: ] It's Buck!
Buck Rogers: THAT DOES IT!!
Alien #1: Oh, thank goodness! F(bleep)ck Rogers is finally here!
Buck Rogers: What.. did you just call me?
Alien #1: F(bleep)ck!
Alien #2: F(bleep)ck Rogers!
Buck Rogers: [goes near Alien #1: ] My name is Buck. Buck Rogers.
Alien #3: The Robots are through the south defenses! F(bleep)ck Rogers, we need your help immediately!
Buck Rogers: [annoyed groaning]
Alien #1: It's Buck!
Buck Rogers: My name is Buck, not F(bleep)ck! What's with you aliens?!
Alien #4: F(bleep)ck!
Buck Rogers: It's Buck! Damn what the-- it's Buck! Buck! Buck! BUCK!
Alien #4: What are you talking about?! I've been shot! F(bleep)ck, it hurts! [dies]
Alien #5: Welcome, F(bleep)ck!
Alien #1: [as Buck gets annoyed: ] It's Buck!
Buck Rogers: THAT DOES IT!!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Aliens: [getting shot: ] F(bleep)ck, Motherf(bleep)cker!
Buck Rogers: F(bleep)ck you!
Alien #3: Wait! Wait! [gets shot]
Buck Rogers: F(bleep)ck you! F(bleep)ck you and you! F(bleep)ck you! F(bleep) you! F(bleep)ck you! F(bleep)ck you! F(bleep)ck you! F(bleep)ck you!
Buck Rogers: F(bleep)ck you!
Alien #3: Wait! Wait! [gets shot]
Buck Rogers: F(bleep)ck you! F(bleep)ck you and you! F(bleep)ck you! F(bleep) you! F(bleep)ck you! F(bleep)ck you! F(bleep)ck you! F(bleep)ck you!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Wilma: You really told all the aliens that Buck's name was Fuck?[chuckles]
Twikky: Bidi-Bidi-Bidi, I was attempting human comedy.
Twikky: Bidi-Bidi-Bidi, I was attempting human comedy.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
[A giraffe is sinking in quicksand, struggling to get out.]
Giraffe: Uh-oh.
["Stage One: Denial"]
Giraffe: It's no big deal. It's probably not even quicksand. I'm gonna have a good laugh about this tonight with the guys. [Laughs nervously.]
["Stage Two: Anger"]
Giraffe: Well, this is just fucking perfect!! Stupid quicksand! Stupid jungle! Ah! I wanna bite someone in the face! Motherfucker!!!!! Motherfucker!!!!!! Motherfuck!!!!!!! Ahh! Fuck!!! That stupid jungle! Uhh!! Fuuuuuuuuck!!!!!!!!
["Stage Three: Bargaining"]
Giraffe: Are you there, God? It's me, Giraffe. Li-listen if you could just give me a mulligan on this quicksand thing, I promise, I promise, no more peeing on your shorter creatures. [Laughs nervously.] We got a deal?
["Stage Four: Depression"]
Giraffe: [Screams and cries.] MOMMY!!
["Stage Five: Acceptance"]
Giraffe: You know somethin'? I'm cool with this. I-I bet, I bet heaven has all the tender leaves I can eat and everyone gets their own Slurpee machine. Yeah! Take me sweet death! I await your loving embrace! [The sinking stops.] What? I think I hit the bottom. [The giraffe struggles with no avail.] Fuck...
Giraffe: Uh-oh.
["Stage One: Denial"]
Giraffe: It's no big deal. It's probably not even quicksand. I'm gonna have a good laugh about this tonight with the guys. [Laughs nervously.]
["Stage Two: Anger"]
Giraffe: Well, this is just fucking perfect!! Stupid quicksand! Stupid jungle! Ah! I wanna bite someone in the face! Motherfucker!!!!! Motherfucker!!!!!! Motherfuck!!!!!!! Ahh! Fuck!!! That stupid jungle! Uhh!! Fuuuuuuuuck!!!!!!!!
["Stage Three: Bargaining"]
Giraffe: Are you there, God? It's me, Giraffe. Li-listen if you could just give me a mulligan on this quicksand thing, I promise, I promise, no more peeing on your shorter creatures. [Laughs nervously.] We got a deal?
["Stage Four: Depression"]
Giraffe: [Screams and cries.] MOMMY!!
["Stage Five: Acceptance"]
Giraffe: You know somethin'? I'm cool with this. I-I bet, I bet heaven has all the tender leaves I can eat and everyone gets their own Slurpee machine. Yeah! Take me sweet death! I await your loving embrace! [The sinking stops.] What? I think I hit the bottom. [The giraffe struggles with no avail.] Fuck...
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Garfield: : [to Heathcliff] I'm gonna start calling you Monday, and I hate Mondays!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Announcer: Up next on Cat Court heres the assault case against Cheester Cheetah.
Timer: He Hankered for a Hunka my ASS YAH-HOO.
Timer: He Hankered for a Hunka my ASS YAH-HOO.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Wolverine: Look sharp Team!
Professor Xavier: Remember my X-Men, use extreme caution. This is the most dangerous mission yet!
Cyclops: Right Professor!
Professor Xavier: Welcome recruits, although we had to lower our standards thanks to the shortage of actual mutants, the danger you're facing will be no less real! You'll be defending a world that hates and fears you!
Larvell Jones: What?! Hate and fear us, because we're mutants?
Professor Xavier: No, because you were in the Police Academy movies.
Professor Xavier: The hell's wrong with this chair? And it seems it's missing someone.
Miral James: Sorry I'm late!
Professor Xavier: MY HOMIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!
Professor Xavier: Remember my X-Men, use extreme caution. This is the most dangerous mission yet!
Cyclops: Right Professor!
Professor Xavier: Welcome recruits, although we had to lower our standards thanks to the shortage of actual mutants, the danger you're facing will be no less real! You'll be defending a world that hates and fears you!
Larvell Jones: What?! Hate and fear us, because we're mutants?
Professor Xavier: No, because you were in the Police Academy movies.
Professor Xavier: The hell's wrong with this chair? And it seems it's missing someone.
Miral James: Sorry I'm late!
Professor Xavier: MY HOMIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Kevin: Star light, Star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish, I wish tonight. I wish-- (turning into a robot) Holy crap! I got to tell Oscar. Oscar, Oscar, Oscar.
Oscar: Agghhhhh!!
Kevin: Hey Oscar, it's me, Kevin.
Oscar: Oh, what happened?
Kevin: I made a wish on that star.
Oscar: (turning into a dinosaur) Dude, we've got to tell Jimmy.
Jimmy: (turned into a giant turtle) Dudes, we've got to tell Louis.
Kevin: Louis, hey Louis make a wish. It'll come true.
Louis: Okay! (turning into a giant squid)
Jimmy: Giant squid? You idiot, we're not even near water.
Louis: Oh crap! Sorry guys! (is put on Ocsar's head) Let's go tell Timmy!
Oscar: Timmy! Hey Timmy! Make a wish and it'll come true!
Oscar: Agghhhhh!!
Kevin: Hey Oscar, it's me, Kevin.
Oscar: Oh, what happened?
Kevin: I made a wish on that star.
Oscar: (turning into a dinosaur) Dude, we've got to tell Jimmy.
Jimmy: (turned into a giant turtle) Dudes, we've got to tell Louis.
Kevin: Louis, hey Louis make a wish. It'll come true.
Louis: Okay! (turning into a giant squid)
Jimmy: Giant squid? You idiot, we're not even near water.
Louis: Oh crap! Sorry guys! (is put on Ocsar's head) Let's go tell Timmy!
Oscar: Timmy! Hey Timmy! Make a wish and it'll come true!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Everyone: Timmy?!?
Timmy: Let's go tell Zach!
Kevin: Zach! Make a wish and it'll come true!
Timmy: Let's go tell Zach!
Kevin: Zach! Make a wish and it'll come true!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Captain James T. Kirk: Report, Mr. Scott.
Scotty: Captain, somebody traded all of the dilithium crystals for pornographic holograms!
James T. Kirk: And?
Scotty: With no power, all life support on the ship is about to fail.
James T. Kirk: And?
Scotty: Our only hope is to beam down to the nearest planet, but there is only enough power to send five people. I can't do no more!
Mr. Spock: Captain, logic dictates that each of the 433 crew members.
Lt. Uhura: Hey! Where did Kirk go? (camera scene changes to the same bridge scene without James Kirk) Oh, no. He didn't.
Scotty: Captain, somebody traded all of the dilithium crystals for pornographic holograms!
James T. Kirk: And?
Scotty: With no power, all life support on the ship is about to fail.
James T. Kirk: And?
Scotty: Our only hope is to beam down to the nearest planet, but there is only enough power to send five people. I can't do no more!
Mr. Spock: Captain, logic dictates that each of the 433 crew members.
Lt. Uhura: Hey! Where did Kirk go? (camera scene changes to the same bridge scene without James Kirk) Oh, no. He didn't.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Lt. Uhura: Uh, I have a vagina.
Scotty: Sure.
Mr. Spock: A vagina could prove quite useful.
Scotty: Sure.
Mr. Spock: A vagina could prove quite useful.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Red Shirt Crewman: I'm Toby the Red Shirt. You need a red shirt, you just do.
Mr. Spock: Quite logical.
Scotty: Sure.
Mr. Spock: Quite logical.
Scotty: Sure.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Red Shirt Crewman: Aww, fuck all you all!
Mr. Spock: It is your duty as a crewman.
Red Shirt Crewman: Screw that. On behalf of all the red shirts who fell before me, it makes me proud to speak the following sentence. [long pause] I'm the only one who brought a gun.
Kirk: Ohhh....
Mr. Spock: It is your duty as a crewman.
Red Shirt Crewman: Screw that. On behalf of all the red shirts who fell before me, it makes me proud to speak the following sentence. [long pause] I'm the only one who brought a gun.
Kirk: Ohhh....
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Snow Job: Hey guys, going on a mission? Can I come?
Flint: Sorry Snow Job, this mission doesn't require ski's.
Gung-Ho: Wearin' a blindingly white outfit in the middle of jungle warfare makes you a very shootable target, man!
Snow Job: Bunch of G.I. Jerks!
Flint: Sorry Snow Job, this mission doesn't require ski's.
Gung-Ho: Wearin' a blindingly white outfit in the middle of jungle warfare makes you a very shootable target, man!
Snow Job: Bunch of G.I. Jerks!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Calvin: Native Americans would be more plentiful if they hadn't traded their land for casinos!
Hobbes: Well, cowboys never even existed! They're just a masculine image campaign purported by Marlboro!
Calvin's Dad: I think something's wrong with our son.
Hobbes: Well, cowboys never even existed! They're just a masculine image campaign purported by Marlboro!
Calvin's Dad: I think something's wrong with our son.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Hobbes: Calvin, your parents don't believe [that Hobbes is alive]. We have to kill them. [gets out a chainsaw.]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
[A man is standing next to another man. The first man takes out a cell phone and takes a picture of his penis. Then he sends it to someone who he thinks is the other man. Then, the phone rings.]
Man: Hello? Grandma! Oh G-I'm sorry! No, I-I must've misdialed.
Man: Hello? Grandma! Oh G-I'm sorry! No, I-I must've misdialed.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Cameron Diaz: [Hits Bill Murray with a baseball bat.] That's for making Lucy Liu cry on the set of Charlie's Angels, Bill Murray! [Then goes to another house and hits Ben Stiller with the bat.] That's for giving me cancer with your fake semen, Ben Stiller!
Ben Stiller: I was just an actor! That stuff gave me cancer too!
Cameron Diaz: Well--[hits him again.] That's for having cancer!
Ben Stiller: I was just an actor! That stuff gave me cancer too!
Cameron Diaz: Well--[hits him again.] That's for having cancer!
TV Show: Robot Chicken