Skins Quotes
Pandora: [running off] Come on! We can do brownies and then lick our bowls out.
Katie: Do you think she knows she sounds filthy half the time?
Effy: Sometimes I wonder.
Katie: Do you think she knows she sounds filthy half the time?
Effy: Sometimes I wonder.
TV Show: Skins
Mrs. Moon: Effy! We meet at last!
Effy: Yes.
Mrs. Moon: Pandora's told me so much about you.
Pandora: You know, Eff, your missionary work.
Effy: Yes, I try to do as much of that as I can.
Mrs. Moon: That's good. There're so many bad things in life: boys, and drugs, guns, alcohol...boys. Evil things. I'm glad Pandora's found a channel she can pool her energy into.
Effy: Well, yes, all the seamen like her.
Mrs. Moon: [beat, stops smiling] Seamen?
Effy: Yes, loads of seamen. Some of them are homeless as well. We'd all love to see Pandora get her own missionary position.
Mrs. Moon: [uncertain] Right...Sounds lovely.
Effy: Yes.
Mrs. Moon: Pandora's told me so much about you.
Pandora: You know, Eff, your missionary work.
Effy: Yes, I try to do as much of that as I can.
Mrs. Moon: That's good. There're so many bad things in life: boys, and drugs, guns, alcohol...boys. Evil things. I'm glad Pandora's found a channel she can pool her energy into.
Effy: Well, yes, all the seamen like her.
Mrs. Moon: [beat, stops smiling] Seamen?
Effy: Yes, loads of seamen. Some of them are homeless as well. We'd all love to see Pandora get her own missionary position.
Mrs. Moon: [uncertain] Right...Sounds lovely.
TV Show: Skins
JJ: If Freddie was here...
Cook: Do you see Freddie? Did we invite Freddie?
JJ: No...
Cook: And why didn't we invite him?
JJ: Because he's a fun sponge.
Cook: You got it
Cook: Do you see Freddie? Did we invite Freddie?
JJ: No...
Cook: And why didn't we invite him?
JJ: Because he's a fun sponge.
Cook: You got it
TV Show: Skins
Naomi: So what do you want Ems? Pinot Grigio or... cider oblivion?
Emily: Anything, just give me a fucking... just give me a...
[They kiss]
Naomi: Oh. It's only the drugs, right?
[They kiss again]
Emily: You liked that. [Naomi nods]
Naomi: You're gay.
Emily: Yes.
[JJ has witnessed the entire scene]
JJ: Oh my giddy, giddy, giddy... aunt.
Emily: Anything, just give me a fucking... just give me a...
[They kiss]
Naomi: Oh. It's only the drugs, right?
[They kiss again]
Emily: You liked that. [Naomi nods]
Naomi: You're gay.
Emily: Yes.
[JJ has witnessed the entire scene]
JJ: Oh my giddy, giddy, giddy... aunt.
TV Show: Skins
[Katie trips Candy from behind; Candy gets up, pushes Katie]
Candy: Who the fuck do you think you are?
[Katie punches Candy in the nose; Candy falls to the ground again]
Katie: I'm Katie fucking Fitch! Who the fuck are you?
Candy: Who the fuck do you think you are?
[Katie punches Candy in the nose; Candy falls to the ground again]
Katie: I'm Katie fucking Fitch! Who the fuck are you?
TV Show: Skins
Katie: Why are you being nice to me?
Effy: Life's too short.
Katie: You’re such a fucking cliche.
Effy: Life's too short.
Katie: You’re such a fucking cliche.
TV Show: Skins
Katie: So what's it like?
Effy: What's what like?
Katie: Love.
Effy: Great. It's really lovely.
Katie: That sounded convincing.
Effy: It's fine. Nothing's ever perfect, you know?
Katie: I thought it could be. I wanted the perfect boyfriend, perfect marriage, perfect everything.
Effy: What's changed?
Katie: Me. I don't know who I am any more.
Effy: I thought you were Katie fucking Fitch.
Effy: What's what like?
Katie: Love.
Effy: Great. It's really lovely.
Katie: That sounded convincing.
Effy: It's fine. Nothing's ever perfect, you know?
Katie: I thought it could be. I wanted the perfect boyfriend, perfect marriage, perfect everything.
Effy: What's changed?
Katie: Me. I don't know who I am any more.
Effy: I thought you were Katie fucking Fitch.
TV Show: Skins
Effy: Any good?
Pandora: I dunno what you mean.
Effy: I mean he's a sensational fuck, yeah.
Pandora: There's a whamma lot of things you don't know about me, Eff. Just because I'm useless don't mean that I'm nothing.
Effy: We're friends because you don't surf and turf my men. You said that.
Pandora: He's not yours, Eff. He never belonged to anyone.
Effy: Shut up.
Pandora: That's why you don't really want him.
Effy: Shut up!
Pandora: He's not the one you want, Eff! See, I know that because I'm your friend but you don't make enough effort, Eff! I'm just there to laugh at. You don't know me. My life, my family, my mum. Why don't you know anything about my mum? I know everything about yours.
Effy: ...You're right. I don't know anything about your mum.
Pandora: Sorry, okay.
Effy: Yeah. [pause] Oh Jesus.
Pandora: What?
Effy: Be careful what you wish for, Pandora.
Pandora: Why?
Thomas: Panda! Panda! [Pandora turns around] Panda! Panda, look I'm here. Panda, it's me. Are you not glad to see me? Mother said I could come back. What's wrong?
Effy: Don't be a twat, Thomas, give your girlfriend a hug.
[Thomas does so as Effy walks away]
Pandora: [crying] I missed you, I missed you too much.
Pandora: I dunno what you mean.
Effy: I mean he's a sensational fuck, yeah.
Pandora: There's a whamma lot of things you don't know about me, Eff. Just because I'm useless don't mean that I'm nothing.
Effy: We're friends because you don't surf and turf my men. You said that.
Pandora: He's not yours, Eff. He never belonged to anyone.
Effy: Shut up.
Pandora: That's why you don't really want him.
Effy: Shut up!
Pandora: He's not the one you want, Eff! See, I know that because I'm your friend but you don't make enough effort, Eff! I'm just there to laugh at. You don't know me. My life, my family, my mum. Why don't you know anything about my mum? I know everything about yours.
Effy: ...You're right. I don't know anything about your mum.
Pandora: Sorry, okay.
Effy: Yeah. [pause] Oh Jesus.
Pandora: What?
Effy: Be careful what you wish for, Pandora.
Pandora: Why?
Thomas: Panda! Panda! [Pandora turns around] Panda! Panda, look I'm here. Panda, it's me. Are you not glad to see me? Mother said I could come back. What's wrong?
Effy: Don't be a twat, Thomas, give your girlfriend a hug.
[Thomas does so as Effy walks away]
Pandora: [crying] I missed you, I missed you too much.
TV Show: Skins
Effy: I wanted to see what was in your shed.
Freddie: My...?
Effy: Shed. Everyone says you have a marvellous shed.
Freddie: Everyone?
Effy: Yeah, it's marvelled at.
[They enter the shed]
Freddie: So this is it.
Effy: So what do you and the boys do in here? Braid each others hair and play soggy biscuit?
Freddie: No. [beat] Not for ages.
Freddie: My...?
Effy: Shed. Everyone says you have a marvellous shed.
Freddie: Everyone?
Effy: Yeah, it's marvelled at.
[They enter the shed]
Freddie: So this is it.
Effy: So what do you and the boys do in here? Braid each others hair and play soggy biscuit?
Freddie: No. [beat] Not for ages.
TV Show: Skins
Cook: You coming, Eff? You soon will be.
Effy: I'd sooner fuck JJ.
JJ: I know that isn't intended as a compliment, but...I'm going to take it as one anyway.
Cook: You didn't get it. I said, "Are you coming, Eff? You soon will be."
Effy: I got it. Freddie and JJ got it. That termite over there got it. But you're not going to get it. Got it?
Cook: Now I'm confused.
Effy: I'm not going anywhere near your Crayola dick. I know where it's been.
Effy: I'd sooner fuck JJ.
JJ: I know that isn't intended as a compliment, but...I'm going to take it as one anyway.
Cook: You didn't get it. I said, "Are you coming, Eff? You soon will be."
Effy: I got it. Freddie and JJ got it. That termite over there got it. But you're not going to get it. Got it?
Cook: Now I'm confused.
Effy: I'm not going anywhere near your Crayola dick. I know where it's been.
TV Show: Skins
[Karen is sulking after losing her competition. Cook has arrived, celebrating her loss]
Cook: Bad luck, Karen. In the competition, like. But you know, what goes around, comes around. How much did you lose by again? 15 votes? Well, that's funny. 'Cos... That's about how many people were in Keith's pub tonight.
Freddie: [catching his drift] You voted against her?
Cook: [smugly] Not just me. Everyone in there. JJ even.
JJ: Cook, don't...
Karen: [indignant] You fucking did what!?
Cook: You took my shed, I took your competition. Fair's fair.
Karen: You little shit, you ugly little bastard!!! [attacks him]
Cook: Bad luck, Karen. In the competition, like. But you know, what goes around, comes around. How much did you lose by again? 15 votes? Well, that's funny. 'Cos... That's about how many people were in Keith's pub tonight.
Freddie: [catching his drift] You voted against her?
Cook: [smugly] Not just me. Everyone in there. JJ even.
JJ: Cook, don't...
Karen: [indignant] You fucking did what!?
Cook: You took my shed, I took your competition. Fair's fair.
Karen: You little shit, you ugly little bastard!!! [attacks him]
TV Show: Skins
[During a fairly uninspiring English lesson]
Naomi: Hamlet's basically a teenage boy. He's got all these desires, but he doesn't have the bottle to reach out for them. So, he goes mad, and wanks off about Ophelia, and ends up so boring, somebody has to kill him!
Josie: I'm not sure that's right. There's no wanking in Hamlet.
Naomi: Yeah, there is. Loads. Only they call it "soliloquising".
Naomi: Hamlet's basically a teenage boy. He's got all these desires, but he doesn't have the bottle to reach out for them. So, he goes mad, and wanks off about Ophelia, and ends up so boring, somebody has to kill him!
Josie: I'm not sure that's right. There's no wanking in Hamlet.
Naomi: Yeah, there is. Loads. Only they call it "soliloquising".
TV Show: Skins
Freddie: We'd be good together. Don't you think?
Effy: No.
Freddie: Why?
Effy: Because I'll break your heart.
Freddie: Maybe I'll break yours.
Effy: Nobody breaks my heart. And anyway, why would I want that?
Effy: No.
Freddie: Why?
Effy: Because I'll break your heart.
Freddie: Maybe I'll break yours.
Effy: Nobody breaks my heart. And anyway, why would I want that?
TV Show: Skins
Anthea: You may as well take them, they'll only end up in cunting Oxfam!
Jim: [Shouting] Don't you dare use "cunt" and "Oxfam" in the same sentence!
Jim: [Shouting] Don't you dare use "cunt" and "Oxfam" in the same sentence!
TV Show: Skins
Cook: Come on, Naomikins. You want it, I want it. Let's get together and feel alright.
Naomi: You couldn't make me "alright" if you stapled your tongue to my clit and stood in a cement mixer.
Naomi: You couldn't make me "alright" if you stapled your tongue to my clit and stood in a cement mixer.
TV Show: Skins
Emily: I can just see it now, in lights, "Naomi, get to know me".
Naomi: I thought it was quite catchy.
Emily: Yeah, well so's AIDS.
Naomi: I thought it was quite catchy.
Emily: Yeah, well so's AIDS.
TV Show: Skins
Naomi: I didn't bring a swimming costume.
Emily: Neither did I. [when Naomi makes no move to undress] Sun won't shine forever.
Naomi: Someone might be looking!
Emily: Honey, your body ain't that special.
Emily: Neither did I. [when Naomi makes no move to undress] Sun won't shine forever.
Naomi: Someone might be looking!
Emily: Honey, your body ain't that special.
TV Show: Skins
Emily: I'm not gonna open the door. My face is all puffy. I've been crying a bit.
Naomi: I don't care. [sits on the doorstep]
[Emily sits on the other side of the door]
Naomi: I do... want someone, need someone. You were right.
Emily: And?
Naomi: And when I'm with you, I feel like I'm a better person. I feel happier, less... alone. Less lonely.
[Emily puts her hand through the cat flap to hold Naomi's]
Naomi: But it's not as simple as that is it? Being with someone?
Emily: Isn't it?
Naomi: No...I mean, I don't know...I mean I don't think so. Can't we just sit like this, for a bit?
Emily: Yeah, we can... for a bit.
Naomi: I don't care. [sits on the doorstep]
[Emily sits on the other side of the door]
Naomi: I do... want someone, need someone. You were right.
Emily: And?
Naomi: And when I'm with you, I feel like I'm a better person. I feel happier, less... alone. Less lonely.
[Emily puts her hand through the cat flap to hold Naomi's]
Naomi: But it's not as simple as that is it? Being with someone?
Emily: Isn't it?
Naomi: No...I mean, I don't know...I mean I don't think so. Can't we just sit like this, for a bit?
Emily: Yeah, we can... for a bit.
TV Show: Skins
Effy: Come on, JJ. Don't be pathetic, it's easy. Just tell me something true. Tell me. Tell me now.
JJ: I love you.
Effy: [smiling] Well everybody loves me.
JJ: That's a relief.
JJ: I love you.
Effy: [smiling] Well everybody loves me.
JJ: That's a relief.
TV Show: Skins
[JJ accidentally walks in on a semi-naked Effy. They both scream]
Effy: JJ!? What-the-fuck!? What the fuck!?
JJ: [gabbling] Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...
Effy: Give me my t-shirt, fucking hopeless perv.
JJ: [fumbling for her t-shirt] I'm sorry, I...I... The door was open. I...
Effy: JJ!
JJ: I...I... I got worried.
Effy: [taking her shirt and slipping it on] About what?
JJ: I... I dunno, I mean, I thought I might've... I dunno, okay. [angrily] I was pissed at the two of you.
Effy: Two of who?
JJ: I heard what you were saying! I want you to stop doing that -
Effy: [enquiringly] JJ? What the fuck?
JJ: You and Cook.
Effy: [confused] I haven't seen him for days.
JJ: Yeah? Well don't... Don't diss me while you're having sexual intercourse, because... Because you might think it's funny, but I... [realising what she said] Sorry!? [In horror, as he realises Cook was having sex with someone else] Uh oh. [Effy approaches] Uh oh!
Effy: JJ, are you gonna give me some fucked up hint what you're talking about?
JJ: I... I... I usually drink mango juice when I get overstressed!
Effy: JJ!? What-the-fuck!? What the fuck!?
JJ: [gabbling] Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...
Effy: Give me my t-shirt, fucking hopeless perv.
JJ: [fumbling for her t-shirt] I'm sorry, I...I... The door was open. I...
Effy: JJ!
JJ: I...I... I got worried.
Effy: [taking her shirt and slipping it on] About what?
JJ: I... I dunno, I mean, I thought I might've... I dunno, okay. [angrily] I was pissed at the two of you.
Effy: Two of who?
JJ: I heard what you were saying! I want you to stop doing that -
Effy: [enquiringly] JJ? What the fuck?
JJ: You and Cook.
Effy: [confused] I haven't seen him for days.
JJ: Yeah? Well don't... Don't diss me while you're having sexual intercourse, because... Because you might think it's funny, but I... [realising what she said] Sorry!? [In horror, as he realises Cook was having sex with someone else] Uh oh. [Effy approaches] Uh oh!
Effy: JJ, are you gonna give me some fucked up hint what you're talking about?
JJ: I... I... I usually drink mango juice when I get overstressed!
TV Show: Skins
[JJ, Karen and Emily have walked on Freddy having sex with Katie]
Karen': Now, does everybody know each other?
Freddie: Ah, that's just great. Thanks a lot, Karen.
Emily: For Christ's sake, Katie, what're you doing?
Katie: [Sarcastically] I'm doing the Great fucking Northern Run! What does it look like I'm doing!?
Freddie: Guys, could we please just—
Emily: Katie, why didn't you tell me?
Katie: Oh, I'm sorry, maybe my postal application hasn't reached you yet. Now, do you mind? We're sort of in the middle of something.
JJ: [stammering] Oh, but that's not right! You want Eff, and she's not—
Katie: [interrupting] It's a free country, JJ. Hey, maybe my weirdo sister's up for it.
JJ: No, that's ridiculous, Emily's gay. [This disclosure hits Katie like a physical blow, while Emily looks dismayed] Anyway, I wanted to talk to you, Freds, but we can do this another time...
[Stops as he realises the impact of his disclosure]
JJ: Uh oh...
Katie: [Aghast] That's not true! Is it, Ems? Because you promised me that wasn't true. [Emily leaves on the verge of tears]
Karen': Now, does everybody know each other?
Freddie: Ah, that's just great. Thanks a lot, Karen.
Emily: For Christ's sake, Katie, what're you doing?
Katie: [Sarcastically] I'm doing the Great fucking Northern Run! What does it look like I'm doing!?
Freddie: Guys, could we please just—
Emily: Katie, why didn't you tell me?
Katie: Oh, I'm sorry, maybe my postal application hasn't reached you yet. Now, do you mind? We're sort of in the middle of something.
JJ: [stammering] Oh, but that's not right! You want Eff, and she's not—
Katie: [interrupting] It's a free country, JJ. Hey, maybe my weirdo sister's up for it.
JJ: No, that's ridiculous, Emily's gay. [This disclosure hits Katie like a physical blow, while Emily looks dismayed] Anyway, I wanted to talk to you, Freds, but we can do this another time...
[Stops as he realises the impact of his disclosure]
JJ: Uh oh...
Katie: [Aghast] That's not true! Is it, Ems? Because you promised me that wasn't true. [Emily leaves on the verge of tears]
TV Show: Skins
Anthea: Love, she's gone.
Cook: Ok, what time's she back?
Anthea: Not till tomorrow. They've gone to some party at Gobbler's End.
Cook: Nah, because... we're supposed to hang out tonight!
Anthea: Is that before you broke up or after?
Cook: But... I bought a fucking gâteau! Black Forest!
Anthea: Ooh, my favourite. [Takes cake and shuts the door]
Cook: Ok, what time's she back?
Anthea: Not till tomorrow. They've gone to some party at Gobbler's End.
Cook: Nah, because... we're supposed to hang out tonight!
Anthea: Is that before you broke up or after?
Cook: But... I bought a fucking gâteau! Black Forest!
Anthea: Ooh, my favourite. [Takes cake and shuts the door]
TV Show: Skins
Pandora: Relationships just can't stay the same, can they? Can't always be lovely and lush and not full of weird silences all the time. People can't always be perfect, 'cause that's not real, is it? It's not real 'cause things change. Don't they?
TV Show: Skins
Cook: [to Freddie] What do you want, my fucking blood? Cos' you've fucking taken everything else! You've taken fucking JJ, and now you're nicking her as well! [Freddie looks confused] She hasn't told you has she? Fuck me! I'm so glad I didn't miss this!
Katie: What's going on?
Cook: Effy doesn't want me anymore, do you princess?
Effy: No.
Katie: What's going on?
Cook: Effy doesn't want me anymore, do you princess?
Effy: No.
TV Show: Skins
Cook: You're all such whizzer chums, aren't you? Ain't that right, Eff? Ain't that right, Panda? Panda's been worried lately Eff, says you dont't see each other as much as you used to. That right, Panda, yeah? I said to her, "Cupcake, maybe if you didn't spend as much time with my cock in your mouth..."—
Pandora: Shut up, shut up, shut up! [grabs Thomas' arm] Thomas, let's go.
Thomas: Stop. It's fine. I know.
Effy: Wait. It was one time, right? Your party? [desperately] It was only once, right?! [Pandora cries] I need to sit down.
Cook: [to Thomas] Umm... sorry slugger. I don't think you heard. Me fucked your girlfriend, like, multiple times.
Thomas: What do you want me to say?
Cook: I don't want you to say anything. Hit me. C'mon, c'mon, hit me!
Thomas: You're just a sad little boy. [turns away]
Pandora: Thomas, please. I stopped it. I love you. Just give me a chance—
Thomas: [yelling] No! I have given you chances and you have not taken them! Time and time again you have lied to me! It's too late now. [quieter] I fell in love with this girl... she was good, she was honest and doughnuts... Now she's gone, and this new one... I don't like her... she makes my heart hurt.[leaves]
Pandora: Shut up, shut up, shut up! [grabs Thomas' arm] Thomas, let's go.
Thomas: Stop. It's fine. I know.
Effy: Wait. It was one time, right? Your party? [desperately] It was only once, right?! [Pandora cries] I need to sit down.
Cook: [to Thomas] Umm... sorry slugger. I don't think you heard. Me fucked your girlfriend, like, multiple times.
Thomas: What do you want me to say?
Cook: I don't want you to say anything. Hit me. C'mon, c'mon, hit me!
Thomas: You're just a sad little boy. [turns away]
Pandora: Thomas, please. I stopped it. I love you. Just give me a chance—
Thomas: [yelling] No! I have given you chances and you have not taken them! Time and time again you have lied to me! It's too late now. [quieter] I fell in love with this girl... she was good, she was honest and doughnuts... Now she's gone, and this new one... I don't like her... she makes my heart hurt.[leaves]
TV Show: Skins
[The language of twins]
Katie: Sham. [Sorry]
Emily: Huh?
Katie: Katie sham. [I'm sorry]
Emily: Why are you talking Twin? We don't do that anymore.
Katie: Emzy sham doo. [Say you're sorry too]
Emily: Emzy sham. [Sorry]
Katie: Sham. [Sorry]
Emily: Huh?
Katie: Katie sham. [I'm sorry]
Emily: Why are you talking Twin? We don't do that anymore.
Katie: Emzy sham doo. [Say you're sorry too]
Emily: Emzy sham. [Sorry]
TV Show: Skins