South Park Quote

Kyle: Hello, my name is Brad. I need to report a crime-anonymously.
Sgt Yates: Okay, Brad, what's the crime?
Kyle: I attend South Park Elementary, and one of the teachers is having sex with a student.
All Policemen: [pause for a moment, then a dramatic uproar] Oh my God! [Sgt Yates and Murphy stand near Kyle, Murphy is holding a notebook]
Sgt Yates: You did the right thing telling the police, Brad. So who is this teacher--what is his name?
Kyle: Well, it isn't a guy teacher, it's a woman.
Sgt Yates: [sounding surprised] A woman? But she's ugly, right?
Kyle: No, not really. It's the kindergarten teacher, Miss Stephenson.
Sgt Yates: [even more surprised] The blonde?
Kyle: Yeah.
Another policeman: Miss Stephenson is having sex with a student?
Kyle: Yeah.
Sgt Yates: Nice. You're sure they've had sex?
Kyle: Yes.
Sgt Yates: Has she performed oral sex on him?
Kyle: I think so.
Officers: Nice.
Sgt Yates: Wait, what's the crime?
Policeman: The crime is she's not doing it with me! [policemen laugh]
Kyle: What? He's totally underage! She's taking advantage of him!
Sgt Yates: You're right. This is serious. We must find this kid and give him his "Luckiest Boy in America" medal right away! [policemen laugh again. Kyle howls in frustration and runs off]

TV Show: South Park

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