South Park Quotes
Kyle: It's half-man, and half-bearpig.
Cartman: No! It's half-man, half-bear, and half-pig!
Kyle: That doesn't make any sense.
Stan: It could be half-bear and half man-pig.
Cartman: No! It's half-man, half-bear, and half-pig!
Kyle: That doesn't make any sense.
Stan: It could be half-bear and half man-pig.
TV Show: South Park
Tour Guide: And that whistling sound is why we call this the Cave of the Winds.
Steven's Wife: Take a picture of the sound, Steven.
Steven's Wife: Take a picture of the sound, Steven.
TV Show: South Park
Al Gore: I can get you all excused from school.
Cartman: You...have that kind of power?
Cartman: You...have that kind of power?
TV Show: South Park
Stan or Kyle: What do ManBearPig droppings look like?
Al Gore: Kind of like pig droppings but more man-bear like.
Al Gore: Kind of like pig droppings but more man-bear like.
TV Show: South Park
Al Gore: Kids, I saved you.
Stan: Stay away from us, asshole! I was nice to you because I felt sorry for you, because you don't have any friends. But now I see why you don't have any friends. You just use ManBearPig as a way to get attention for yourself because you're a loser!
Al Gore: Yeah right. The man that single handedly killed ManBearPig is a loser.
Stan: Stay away from us, asshole! I was nice to you because I felt sorry for you, because you don't have any friends. But now I see why you don't have any friends. You just use ManBearPig as a way to get attention for yourself because you're a loser!
Al Gore: Yeah right. The man that single handedly killed ManBearPig is a loser.
TV Show: South Park
Al Gore: I am here to educate you about the single biggest threat to our planet. You see, there is something out there which threatens our very existence and may be the end to the human race as we know it. I'm talking, of course, about Manbearpig. It is a creature which roams the Earth alone. It is half man, half bear, and half pig. Some people say that Manbearpig isn't real. Well , I'm here to tell you now, Manbearpig is very real, and he most certainly exists—I'm serial. Manbearpig doesn't care who you are or what you've done. Manbearpig simply wants to get you. I'm super serial. But have no fear, because I am here to save you. And someday, when the world is rid of Manbearpig, everyone will say, "Thank you Al Gore—you're super awesome!" The end.
TV Show: South Park
Cave Ranger: Okay fellow tourists. Here in this cave we can see some stalagmites and stalactites. Over here we have the "Hanging Mushroom" [shows penis made out of rock], and this one we call "Man With Helmet and Two Bowling Balls" [shows penis and testicle combo], and over here we have "The Two Sisters." [shows two penis & testicle combos]
TV Show: South Park
Cartman: I just... I really need the support of my best friend right now.
Jimmy: Who's your best friend?
Cartman: You are, Jimmy! We've always been best friends! We know everything about each other!
Jimmy: What's my last name?
Cartman: [pause] Goddammit.
Jimmy: Who's your best friend?
Cartman: You are, Jimmy! We've always been best friends! We know everything about each other!
Jimmy: What's my last name?
Cartman: [pause] Goddammit.
TV Show: South Park
Stella: I'm serious. Let's put down the video game and go to the kitchen.
Cartman: [in British accent] No thanks, I'd rahther naught.
Cartman: [in British accent] No thanks, I'd rahther naught.
TV Show: South Park
Stella: It's the time-out stool. You can't get down until the time is up.
Cartman: [looks at her, then hops off the stool] Whoa, how did I do that?
Cartman: [looks at her, then hops off the stool] Whoa, how did I do that?
TV Show: South Park
Cartman: You're sterile, is that it? No, that's too convenient of an excuse. The truth is, nobody ever wanted to have babies with you. Isn't that it? Always the mom's maid and never the mom? Must be hard on you, knowing that the years are ticking away, your friends all getting married and all the while your uterus is slowly shriveling away, drying up, becoming totally worthless.
Stella: [horrified] Why, you... you LITTLE BASTARD! How dare you?!
Liane: [calmly] Eric, naughty.
Stella: [picking Cartman up by the collar] What kind of monster would -
Cartman: Yes, let the anger come! Strike me down while you can! But it won't make your dried-up ovaries any more fertile!
Stella: [horrified] Why, you... you LITTLE BASTARD! How dare you?!
Liane: [calmly] Eric, naughty.
Stella: [picking Cartman up by the collar] What kind of monster would -
Cartman: Yes, let the anger come! Strike me down while you can! But it won't make your dried-up ovaries any more fertile!
TV Show: South Park
Doctor: I'm afraid Supernanny is in a deep state of mental psychosis.
Liane: What do you mean?
Doctor: I mean she spends most of her time sobbing and eating her own excrement.
[They look into room 23A, where Supernanny Jo is fishing poop out of her toilet and eating it]
Supernanny Jo: From heeell! It's from heeell!
Liane: What do you mean?
Doctor: I mean she spends most of her time sobbing and eating her own excrement.
[They look into room 23A, where Supernanny Jo is fishing poop out of her toilet and eating it]
Supernanny Jo: From heeell! It's from heeell!
TV Show: South Park
Cartman: What the hell is this?! Skinless chicken, boiled vegetables and salad?! This is just like Auschwitz!
TV Show: South Park
Cartman: Yes! I've lost almost ten pounds now. You see what I mean?? I totally know how it felt to be a Jew in the Holocaust now!
TV Show: South Park
Liane: And then we'll go to Target, and...I'll buy you a Mega Ranger?
Cartman: Could I have...two Mega Rangers?
Liane: You can have anything you want, dear.
[camera focuses on Cartman and Damien music plays]
Cartman: Could I have...two Mega Rangers?
Liane: You can have anything you want, dear.
[camera focuses on Cartman and Damien music plays]
TV Show: South Park
Cartman: [as a dwarf warrior] Aw, dude! I just took the biggest crap! Hey, where are you guys?
Kyle: [as a female human mage] We're over here, by the cart!
Cartman: [approaches] Okay, sorry guys.
Stan: [as a human warrior] Dude! We've been waiting forever!
Cartman: Well I'm sorry, you guys, but I had to take a dump!
Kyle: If you didn't eat so much, you wouldn't have diarrhea all the time, fatass!
Cartman: Hey, I don't need to take any lip from a fricking girl!
Kenny: [as a human hunter] I think Kyle has sweet titties, ha-ha-ha!
Cartman: Heh-heh, totally!
Kyle: [as a female human mage] We're over here, by the cart!
Cartman: [approaches] Okay, sorry guys.
Stan: [as a human warrior] Dude! We've been waiting forever!
Cartman: Well I'm sorry, you guys, but I had to take a dump!
Kyle: If you didn't eat so much, you wouldn't have diarrhea all the time, fatass!
Cartman: Hey, I don't need to take any lip from a fricking girl!
Kenny: [as a human hunter] I think Kyle has sweet titties, ha-ha-ha!
Cartman: Heh-heh, totally!
TV Show: South Park
[the Rogue player kills Kenny]
Stan: Oh my god! He killed Kenny!
Kyle: You...bastard!
Stan: Oh my god! He killed Kenny!
Kyle: You...bastard!
TV Show: South Park
Randy: Stan! Stan!
Stan: Hang on guys. My dad wants something.
Randy: Stan!
Stan: What?!
Randy: You've been on your computer all weekend! Shouldn't you go out and socialize with your friends?
Stan: I am socializing, artard! I'm logged on to an MMORPG with people from all over the world and getting XP with my party using team speak!
Randy: [completely dumbfounded, long pause] I'm not a artard...
Stan: Hang on guys. My dad wants something.
Randy: Stan!
Stan: What?!
Randy: You've been on your computer all weekend! Shouldn't you go out and socialize with your friends?
Stan: I am socializing, artard! I'm logged on to an MMORPG with people from all over the world and getting XP with my party using team speak!
Randy: [completely dumbfounded, long pause] I'm not a artard...
TV Show: South Park
Kyle: Wow, look at all these people playing right now!
Cartman: Yeah, it's bull crap. I bet half of these people are Koreans!
Cartman: Yeah, it's bull crap. I bet half of these people are Koreans!
TV Show: South Park
Jim: I've got to get home! My kids are playing World of Warcraft right now!
Rob Pardo: Jim, your kid's characters are already dead.
Jim: No! They only just started playing!
Rob Pardo: Jim, your kid's characters are already dead.
Jim: No! They only just started playing!
TV Show: South Park
Rob Pardo: Whoever this person is, he's played World of Warcraft nearly every hour of every day for the past two years. Gentlemen, we are dealing with someone here who has absolutely no life.
Blizzard executive: How do you kill that which has no life?
Blizzard executive: How do you kill that which has no life?
TV Show: South Park
Nelson: Randy, working on that sediment analysis?
Randy: Not now, Nelson. I just joined a big party of Night Elves and we're on a mission to explore the Tower Of Azora together.
Nelson: Is that a computer game?
Randy: No, r-tard, it's an MMORPG. These are real people I'm playing with. See, I'm a hunter, level two. I can chat with all these other people, and check it out, I can even wave to this guy here. [waves to another player, who waves back] In the outside world I'm a simple geologist, but in here... I am Valkor, defender of the Alliance. I have braved the Fargodeep mines and defeated the Blood Fish at Jarod's La--
[The Rogue walks up behind Valkor and stabs him unexpectedly]
Nelson: Looks like that guy just killed you. [walks away]
Randy: What? Why? WHY?!
Randy: Not now, Nelson. I just joined a big party of Night Elves and we're on a mission to explore the Tower Of Azora together.
Nelson: Is that a computer game?
Randy: No, r-tard, it's an MMORPG. These are real people I'm playing with. See, I'm a hunter, level two. I can chat with all these other people, and check it out, I can even wave to this guy here. [waves to another player, who waves back] In the outside world I'm a simple geologist, but in here... I am Valkor, defender of the Alliance. I have braved the Fargodeep mines and defeated the Blood Fish at Jarod's La--
[The Rogue walks up behind Valkor and stabs him unexpectedly]
Nelson: Looks like that guy just killed you. [walks away]
Randy: What? Why? WHY?!
TV Show: South Park