South Park Quotes
[Randy is sitting on the toilet, straining and groaning for a long time. Meanwhile, a banner appears on the screen: "Emmy Award-Winning Series"]
Randy: Oh, God. Oh, here it comes. [goes for the final push, which has him pushing himself off the toilet seat by his hands several times] Whoa, hot! Hot, hot! Whoaaa, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot! [a view from the street. Randy's moans can be heard; he can be seen moving about] Whoa, whoaaa! Whoa, hot! Hot, hot, hot-hot-hot-hot, hot, hot!! [back in the bathroom, the stool finally comes out] Dohhhhhh! Oooh! Oohoo. [sobs in relief] Ohhh, it's over. It's over. [reaches for the toilet paper] Oh, God. [puts his briefs and pants back up in place] I feel so much better. Oh. [a view from within the toilet: Randy turns around to flush, but stops, looks down, and crouches down for a better look] Wow! That...is huge. That has got to be the biggest crap I've ever taken. He--Hey, Sharon. Sharon, you gotta come see this. Sha-Sharon?
Randy: Oh, God. Oh, here it comes. [goes for the final push, which has him pushing himself off the toilet seat by his hands several times] Whoa, hot! Hot, hot! Whoaaa, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot! [a view from the street. Randy's moans can be heard; he can be seen moving about] Whoa, whoaaa! Whoa, hot! Hot, hot, hot-hot-hot-hot, hot, hot!! [back in the bathroom, the stool finally comes out] Dohhhhhh! Oooh! Oohoo. [sobs in relief] Ohhh, it's over. It's over. [reaches for the toilet paper] Oh, God. [puts his briefs and pants back up in place] I feel so much better. Oh. [a view from within the toilet: Randy turns around to flush, but stops, looks down, and crouches down for a better look] Wow! That...is huge. That has got to be the biggest crap I've ever taken. He--Hey, Sharon. Sharon, you gotta come see this. Sha-Sharon?
TV Show: South Park
Randy: [from the heart] I almost did it. I almost made something of myself. You know, when you get real close, you start thinking that maybe your life is gonna matter. [sobs some more] I mean, this was something I made! Something that came from me! That was a part of me! The only thing I ever made that was any good!
Stan: Gee, thanks, Dad.
Randy: You're welcome.
Stan: Gee, thanks, Dad.
Randy: You're welcome.
TV Show: South Park
Stan: Do you really need the biggest-crap record? Could you maybe see your way to just letting my dad have this one?
Bono: Let him have it?! Why would I do that?!
Stan: Look, you gotta understand, sir. My dad's never won an award for anything. Ever. He doesn't have one single trophy. I mean, even I have a second-place trophy for most Sports Illustrated subscriptions sold.
Bono: I have the first-place trophy for that.
Stan: [surprised] Dude, don't you have enough? I mean, you got tons of money, a jet, and the biggest rock band in the world, a hot wife, and you've been knighted. I mean, at some point, can't you just kind of fuck off?
Bono: Let him have it?! Why would I do that?!
Stan: Look, you gotta understand, sir. My dad's never won an award for anything. Ever. He doesn't have one single trophy. I mean, even I have a second-place trophy for most Sports Illustrated subscriptions sold.
Bono: I have the first-place trophy for that.
Stan: [surprised] Dude, don't you have enough? I mean, you got tons of money, a jet, and the biggest rock band in the world, a hot wife, and you've been knighted. I mean, at some point, can't you just kind of fuck off?
TV Show: South Park
Butler: Look, I first knew something was wrong when I looked at Bono's first award for biggest crap. It said he took it in 1960.
Stan: So?
Butler: So that's the year Bono was born. Then it all made sense to me. How could Bono be so talented, so caring, and yet seem like such a piece of crap? Because he is crap. Don't you get it? Bono is not the record holder.
Stan: He's the record.
Stan: So?
Butler: So that's the year Bono was born. Then it all made sense to me. How could Bono be so talented, so caring, and yet seem like such a piece of crap? Because he is crap. Don't you get it? Bono is not the record holder.
Stan: He's the record.
TV Show: South Park
Herr Broloff: I'm sorry Mr. Marsh, but if you cannot crap out the crap, it is not really a crap.
TV Show: South Park
Randy: I'm sorry, Sharon. Sorry that I let you down. I'm sorry I can't crap like Bono.
TV Show: South Park
Herr Broloff: My little crap has accomplished many things. But he could never shed the fact that he was really a number two. So he spent his life trying to be number one, in everything.
Stan: That's why he's able to do so much, try to help so many people, but still seem like such a piece of shit.
Stan: That's why he's able to do so much, try to help so many people, but still seem like such a piece of shit.
TV Show: South Park
[Cartman is looking for a leprechaun. If he sees it, Kyle will suck his balls; if not, he will owe Kyle $10. This is the plot of the whole trilogy]
Kyle: This is so retarded, Cartman. You've got everyone believing your stupid story.
Cartman: [setting up a trip wire between two stones] It isn't a story; it's true! I saw a leprechaun. I've seen him come through here three days in a row now. [drops the rope, walks forward, and whips out a walkie-talkie] Hawk Eyes, this is Dragon Wind. Do you copy?
Clyde: This is Hawk Eyes. We've set up the net and we're standing by.
[Jimmy, Jason, and Craig are hoisting the net into place]
Cartman: Copy that, Hawk Eyes. Keep surveillance tag Alpha Niner. Dragon Wind out.
Kyle: Just admit you were lying, Cartman, so that everyone can go home.
Cartman: Oh, no! We have a deal, Kyle! If I can prove there's a leprechaun, you have to suck my balls, remember? [whips out his walkie talkie] Dragon Wind to Blackie. What's your six, Blackie?
Token: [rather pissed off] I don't want the code name "Blackie."
Cartman: Code names are what they are, Blackie. Check your six and alert when in position. [puts away the walkie talkie and gets back to setting the trip wire]
Kyle: This is fucking retarded.
Cartman: Hahaha, getting nervous, Kyle? When that leprechaun shows up, you must suck my balls. Don't forget I have a signed contract from you. [finishes setting the trip wire]
Kyle: Yeah, and if you couldn't prove there was a leprechaun, you have to give me $10. Now just pay up and stop being stupid!
Cartman: [whispering loudly] Goddammit, why hasn't it shown up yet? [whips out the walkie talkie] Dragon Wind to Faggot! Come in, Faggot!
Butters: [on a lookout platform with a telescope nex
Kyle: This is so retarded, Cartman. You've got everyone believing your stupid story.
Cartman: [setting up a trip wire between two stones] It isn't a story; it's true! I saw a leprechaun. I've seen him come through here three days in a row now. [drops the rope, walks forward, and whips out a walkie-talkie] Hawk Eyes, this is Dragon Wind. Do you copy?
Clyde: This is Hawk Eyes. We've set up the net and we're standing by.
[Jimmy, Jason, and Craig are hoisting the net into place]
Cartman: Copy that, Hawk Eyes. Keep surveillance tag Alpha Niner. Dragon Wind out.
Kyle: Just admit you were lying, Cartman, so that everyone can go home.
Cartman: Oh, no! We have a deal, Kyle! If I can prove there's a leprechaun, you have to suck my balls, remember? [whips out his walkie talkie] Dragon Wind to Blackie. What's your six, Blackie?
Token: [rather pissed off] I don't want the code name "Blackie."
Cartman: Code names are what they are, Blackie. Check your six and alert when in position. [puts away the walkie talkie and gets back to setting the trip wire]
Kyle: This is fucking retarded.
Cartman: Hahaha, getting nervous, Kyle? When that leprechaun shows up, you must suck my balls. Don't forget I have a signed contract from you. [finishes setting the trip wire]
Kyle: Yeah, and if you couldn't prove there was a leprechaun, you have to give me $10. Now just pay up and stop being stupid!
Cartman: [whispering loudly] Goddammit, why hasn't it shown up yet? [whips out the walkie talkie] Dragon Wind to Faggot! Come in, Faggot!
Butters: [on a lookout platform with a telescope nex
TV Show: South Park
[the portal begins to act violently. Lightning shoots out and it changes color frequently. Everyone backs away]
General: Talk to me! What's going on?!
[The guard comes in with Kyle and Cartman]
Lead Tech: Something is coming through the gate from the other side.
[a few moments later, ManBearPig walks through]
Operator: What is it?!
Tech 3: It's like a half-man, half-bear!
Lead Tech: And half-pig!
[ManBearPig grabs the tech and slams him against the portal's supporting wall]
Tech 4: Oh! No-no, wait! It's like a half-bear, half-man-pig!
[ManBearPig rips the tech's head off and tosses it towards the general. Everyone scatters]
General: Look out!
[ManBearPig jumps over and grabs the tech at both ends]
Tech 3: No! I think it's more like a half-man, and half-pig-bear!
[ManBearPig rips him in two at the waist]
General: Reverse the doorway! Send it back through!
[Kyle screams and runs away, but ManBearPig scoops him up]
Stan: Kyle!
[a dying tech pushes the red button at his station as he drops to the floor. Lightning flashes into the room as a tractor beam pulls Stan into the portal. ManBearPig resists the pull, but crushes Kyle in its hand for several seconds. Kyle lets out a dying scream as ManBearPig lets go of him as the tractor beam fiinally pulls it in. Kyle falls on the floor, blue in the face]
General: Talk to me! What's going on?!
[The guard comes in with Kyle and Cartman]
Lead Tech: Something is coming through the gate from the other side.
[a few moments later, ManBearPig walks through]
Operator: What is it?!
Tech 3: It's like a half-man, half-bear!
Lead Tech: And half-pig!
[ManBearPig grabs the tech and slams him against the portal's supporting wall]
Tech 4: Oh! No-no, wait! It's like a half-bear, half-man-pig!
[ManBearPig rips the tech's head off and tosses it towards the general. Everyone scatters]
General: Look out!
[ManBearPig jumps over and grabs the tech at both ends]
Tech 3: No! I think it's more like a half-man, and half-pig-bear!
[ManBearPig rips him in two at the waist]
General: Reverse the doorway! Send it back through!
[Kyle screams and runs away, but ManBearPig scoops him up]
Stan: Kyle!
[a dying tech pushes the red button at his station as he drops to the floor. Lightning flashes into the room as a tractor beam pulls Stan into the portal. ManBearPig resists the pull, but crushes Kyle in its hand for several seconds. Kyle lets out a dying scream as ManBearPig lets go of him as the tractor beam fiinally pulls it in. Kyle falls on the floor, blue in the face]
TV Show: South Park
[Kyle is attempted to be revived through a defibrillator]
Paramedic: Clear! [sends power through the paddles. Kyle rises, then falls softly. No sign of life yet. The paramedic removes the paddles] I'm sorry. He's gone.
Cartman: No! Kyle can't die. [gets on his knees and checks various parts of his body for a pulse]
Paramedic: I'm sorry, young man.
Cartman: Kyle?
Paramedic: Well, at least now he doesn't have to suck anyone's balls.
Cartman: [enraged] Nooo! [begins giving Kyle CPR] No, he has a strong heart! He wants to live! Come on, Kyle! Come on, buddy!
General: He's gone, little boy.
Cartman: [to the paramedic] Zap him again! [opens Kyle's coat and shirt] Do it!
Paramedic: Charging.
Cartman: Do it!
[the paramedic places the paddles back on Kyle's body]
Cartman: Come on, buddy.
Paramedic: Clear.
Cartman: Come on, buddy.
[the paramedic fires away. Kyle rises, then falls softly. No sign of life yet.]
Cartman: Get out of here! [goes back to giving Kyle CPR. A woman covers her eyes in despair] Goddammit, Kyle, you never walked away from anything in your life! Now fight! [smacks Kyle around] Fight! Fight! Right now! [begins to break down] Fight! Fiiight! Fight! [slams down hard on his chest]
[Kyle coughs, then comes to. Cartman begins to weep happily]
Cartman: Give him some air. [an oxygen mask appears and Cartman places it over Kyle's nose and mouth] There, easy. Breathe easy. [weeps softly some more]
Paramedic: Clear! [sends power through the paddles. Kyle rises, then falls softly. No sign of life yet. The paramedic removes the paddles] I'm sorry. He's gone.
Cartman: No! Kyle can't die. [gets on his knees and checks various parts of his body for a pulse]
Paramedic: I'm sorry, young man.
Cartman: Kyle?
Paramedic: Well, at least now he doesn't have to suck anyone's balls.
Cartman: [enraged] Nooo! [begins giving Kyle CPR] No, he has a strong heart! He wants to live! Come on, Kyle! Come on, buddy!
General: He's gone, little boy.
Cartman: [to the paramedic] Zap him again! [opens Kyle's coat and shirt] Do it!
Paramedic: Charging.
Cartman: Do it!
[the paramedic places the paddles back on Kyle's body]
Cartman: Come on, buddy.
Paramedic: Clear.
Cartman: Come on, buddy.
[the paramedic fires away. Kyle rises, then falls softly. No sign of life yet.]
Cartman: Get out of here! [goes back to giving Kyle CPR. A woman covers her eyes in despair] Goddammit, Kyle, you never walked away from anything in your life! Now fight! [smacks Kyle around] Fight! Fight! Right now! [begins to break down] Fight! Fiiight! Fight! [slams down hard on his chest]
[Kyle coughs, then comes to. Cartman begins to weep happily]
Cartman: Give him some air. [an oxygen mask appears and Cartman places it over Kyle's nose and mouth] There, easy. Breathe easy. [weeps softly some more]
TV Show: South Park
Butters: I'm supposed to be in school right now, but instead I have Snarf, Popeye, and Luke Skywalker all pissed off.
TV Show: South Park
Aslan: Imaginationland used to be a happy place, but then the terrorists attacked, and so many of us were killed. The barrier came down and all the most evil imaginary characters were unleashed. Now our final battle must take place. The evil characters are marching toward us...with the intent to wipe us all out.
Beavery Beaver: This is gonna be fun, huh?
Woodland Critters: [cheering] Yeah!
Aslan: We prepare for a battle we cannot won. Sweet and cuddly imaginary characters, many who have never held a weapon, must now fight for their very lives. We are too few in number, but we have one hope. That is where you come in, young boy. Only you can help us win the battle.
Butters: W-What can I do?
Aslan: You have a power here that you have yet to understand.
Beavery Beaver: This is gonna be fun, huh?
Woodland Critters: [cheering] Yeah!
Aslan: We prepare for a battle we cannot won. Sweet and cuddly imaginary characters, many who have never held a weapon, must now fight for their very lives. We are too few in number, but we have one hope. That is where you come in, young boy. Only you can help us win the battle.
Butters: W-What can I do?
Aslan: You have a power here that you have yet to understand.
TV Show: South Park
General: If I'm not mistaken, you're the one who bet leprechauns aren't real. So why do you care if something happens?
Kyle: Because I-- Because I think they are real. It's all real. Think about it. Haven't Luke Skywalker and Santa Claus affected your lives more than most real people in this room? I mean, whether Jesus is real or not, he's had a bigger impact on the world than any of us have. And the same can be said for Bugs Bunny and Superman and Harry Potter. They've changed my life, changed the way I act on the earth. Doesn't that make them kind of real? They might be imaginary, but they're more important than most of us here. And they're all gonna be around till long after we're dead. So in a way, those things are more realer than any of us. [Cartman starts applauding, followed by everyone else]
General: [touched] Abort the sequence. [scientist does so]
Cartman: So, Kyle, imaginary things ARE real, huh? Guess that means I did win the bet after all... [Kyle looks angry] And you know what that means, Kyle...
Kyle: [snaps] Just let it go with your fucking balls already, you fucking asshole! Your friends have been in danger, and all you care about is your stupid bet?! Well, I have decided, Cartman, that even if we did have a bet, that I am NEVER going to suck your balls! [grabs Cartman by the scruff of his neck] You got that?! [pushes Cartman back] They can throw me in jail for the rest of my life, but I am NEVER going to suck your balls-- [punches Cartman lightly] EVER! So there!
Kyle: Because I-- Because I think they are real. It's all real. Think about it. Haven't Luke Skywalker and Santa Claus affected your lives more than most real people in this room? I mean, whether Jesus is real or not, he's had a bigger impact on the world than any of us have. And the same can be said for Bugs Bunny and Superman and Harry Potter. They've changed my life, changed the way I act on the earth. Doesn't that make them kind of real? They might be imaginary, but they're more important than most of us here. And they're all gonna be around till long after we're dead. So in a way, those things are more realer than any of us. [Cartman starts applauding, followed by everyone else]
General: [touched] Abort the sequence. [scientist does so]
Cartman: So, Kyle, imaginary things ARE real, huh? Guess that means I did win the bet after all... [Kyle looks angry] And you know what that means, Kyle...
Kyle: [snaps] Just let it go with your fucking balls already, you fucking asshole! Your friends have been in danger, and all you care about is your stupid bet?! Well, I have decided, Cartman, that even if we did have a bet, that I am NEVER going to suck your balls! [grabs Cartman by the scruff of his neck] You got that?! [pushes Cartman back] They can throw me in jail for the rest of my life, but I am NEVER going to suck your balls-- [punches Cartman lightly] EVER! So there!
TV Show: South Park
Kyle: Oh God...
Superman: Yes, God's here too. He's gonna talk to you right after Captain Crunch.
Superman: Yes, God's here too. He's gonna talk to you right after Captain Crunch.
TV Show: South Park
Butters: Wait, I'm not grounded!
Steven Stotch: Oh, yes you are!
Butters: Oh, yeah? [tries to use his imagination powers to end the grounding]
Steven Stotch: That only works in Imaginationland! You're grounded!
Butters: Aw, shit!
Steven Stotch: Oh, yes you are!
Butters: Oh, yeah? [tries to use his imagination powers to end the grounding]
Steven Stotch: That only works in Imaginationland! You're grounded!
Butters: Aw, shit!
TV Show: South Park
[Stan and Kyle have just successfully completed the song "Carry on Wayward Son" on Guitar Hero as Randy walks in]
Randy: So you boys like this music, huh?
Kyle: Yeah, dude, it's Guitar Hero!
Butters: Stan and Kyle are really good at it!
Randy: Well, you kids wanna see something really cool? Check this out. [takes out a guitar, plugs in his amp, and begins playing "Carry on Wayward Son" while singing] Once I rose above the noise and confusion / Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion / I was soarin' ever higher / But I flew too high... / Though my eyes could --
Stan: [angry] Dad! Dad! What are you doing?!
Randy: I can actually play a lot of these songs on a real guitar. You want me to teach you boys how? [beams]
Cartman: ...Uh, that's gay, Mr. Marsh.
Stan: Yeah, that's stupid, Dad.
Randy: So you boys like this music, huh?
Kyle: Yeah, dude, it's Guitar Hero!
Butters: Stan and Kyle are really good at it!
Randy: Well, you kids wanna see something really cool? Check this out. [takes out a guitar, plugs in his amp, and begins playing "Carry on Wayward Son" while singing] Once I rose above the noise and confusion / Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion / I was soarin' ever higher / But I flew too high... / Though my eyes could --
Stan: [angry] Dad! Dad! What are you doing?!
Randy: I can actually play a lot of these songs on a real guitar. You want me to teach you boys how? [beams]
Cartman: ...Uh, that's gay, Mr. Marsh.
Stan: Yeah, that's stupid, Dad.
TV Show: South Park
Stan: Dude...dude! That's Jay Cutler over there--quarterback for the Denver Broncos!
Kyle: Oh my God!
Mr. Hart: Would you boys like to meet him?
Stan: Are you serious?!
Mr. Hart: Jay, I want you to meet Stan and Kyle; they broke 100,000 points on Guitar Hero.
Jay Cutler: [in his jersey, reclining and drinking beer next to 2 women in bikinis] Wow, really? Nice to meet you guys!
Stan: Nice to meet you! I mean, you kind of suck but my dad says you might be good someday.
Jay Cutler: ...Thanks.
Kyle: Oh my God!
Mr. Hart: Would you boys like to meet him?
Stan: Are you serious?!
Mr. Hart: Jay, I want you to meet Stan and Kyle; they broke 100,000 points on Guitar Hero.
Jay Cutler: [in his jersey, reclining and drinking beer next to 2 women in bikinis] Wow, really? Nice to meet you guys!
Stan: Nice to meet you! I mean, you kind of suck but my dad says you might be good someday.
Jay Cutler: ...Thanks.
TV Show: South Park
Mr. Kincaid: Stan Marsh, this is Thad Jarvis.
Thad: 'Sup.
Mr. Kincaid: Thad here has backed up a lot of really great Guitar Hero players. Isn't that right, Thad?
Thad: Yup.
Mr. Kincaid: He doesn't even need a game system to play on. He can play Guitar Hero acoustically.
Thad: 'Sup.
Mr. Kincaid: Thad here has backed up a lot of really great Guitar Hero players. Isn't that right, Thad?
Thad: Yup.
Mr. Kincaid: He doesn't even need a game system to play on. He can play Guitar Hero acoustically.
TV Show: South Park
Stan: [as the Skid Row song "I Remember You" plays] Look, Kyle...the game is still set up at my house and maybe we could go try playing it again over there.
Kyle: [sarcastically] Oh, so the gallant knight now comes to rescue me from the bowels of mediocrity! Oh, thank you, Your Royal Lordship!
Stan: That isn't it at all.
Kyle: [angrily] You don't get it, Stan! I can play here all I want. I even get free Frescas. I don't need you anymore!
Stan: I know...I need you.
Kyle: [sarcastically] Oh, so the gallant knight now comes to rescue me from the bowels of mediocrity! Oh, thank you, Your Royal Lordship!
Stan: That isn't it at all.
Kyle: [angrily] You don't get it, Stan! I can play here all I want. I even get free Frescas. I don't need you anymore!
Stan: I know...I need you.
TV Show: South Park
Butters: Well, I guess we'll never get that list from the girls.
Cartman: Screw that, dude. We're guys; we can out-think them.
Cartman: Screw that, dude. We're guys; we can out-think them.
TV Show: South Park
Cartman: When she stops and turns to Craig in the hallway, Butters will run up and kick her in the balls!
Butters: Okay!
Butters: Okay!
TV Show: South Park
[Cartman, Kenny, Craig, Token, and Clyde are playing basketball; Craig fakes out Cartman and shoots]
Cartman: Stop cheating, Craig!
Craig: How was that cheating?!
Cartman: 'Cause you tricked me, you black asshole!
Cartman: Stop cheating, Craig!
Craig: How was that cheating?!
Cartman: 'Cause you tricked me, you black asshole!
TV Show: South Park
Announcer: Congratulations! You played Guitar Hero enough to score one million points! You...ARE...FAGS!
Stan: [after a long silence] ...That's it?
Kyle: Goddammit. Goddammit. [they walk away]
Stan: [after a long silence] ...That's it?
Kyle: Goddammit. Goddammit. [they walk away]
TV Show: South Park
Cartman: Okay, our mission failed, but we've learned a lot, primarily that girls don't have balls.
Butters: [in a sling with a black eye] They sure don't.
Butters: [in a sling with a black eye] They sure don't.
TV Show: South Park
Butters: Mom! Dad! I'm not the ugliest kid in class! Kyle Broflovski is!
Steven: Well, good for you, Butters!
Linda: Way to go, champ!
Butters: Whoopee! [runs off]
Steven: Well, guess we won't have to ground him.
Steven: Well, good for you, Butters!
Linda: Way to go, champ!
Butters: Whoopee! [runs off]
Steven: Well, guess we won't have to ground him.
TV Show: South Park
Girl 1: [Wendy has just revealed their secret] You just couldn't let it go.
Wendy: [surprised] What do you mean? Call the girls in!
Girl 1: I'm afraid we can't do that, Wendy.
Girl 2: Did you know, Wendy, that Clyde's father owns the shoe store in the mall? A lot of us have wanted to date Clyde to get free shoes, but we couldn't, because he wasn't...popular enough!
Wendy: [horrified] You knew?!
Girl 2: [takes a package out of a file] Unfortunately, the members voted Clyde in the bottom five of the list. That's why we had to manipulate the votes, forge a new list and hide the real one. [points to the package]
Wendy: [angry] So that you could all justify dating Clyde and get shoes!? How dare you take advantage of your position! I'm going to tell Bebe and have you both de-sparkled from the list committee!
Girl 1: Bebe? Who do you think authorized the buyout? [shocking music plays]
Wendy: No, not Bebe.
Girl 2: She's dating Clyde now! Nobody loves shoes more than her!
Stan: [confused] What's going on?
Wendy: When the other girls find out you ignored their votes they're gonna--
Girl 1: You really think they'll believe you over the heads of the Committee!? We'll simply generate a new list, "biggest liars," and put you at the top!
Girl 2: Do yourself a favor, Wendy! Just let it go, and keep your little mouth shut!
Wendy: [coldly] I don't think so. [kicks girl holding list in the crotch. She howls and drops the list. Wendy grabs it] Stan, run!
Stan: Jesus, dude! [runs after Wendy]
Wendy: [surprised] What do you mean? Call the girls in!
Girl 1: I'm afraid we can't do that, Wendy.
Girl 2: Did you know, Wendy, that Clyde's father owns the shoe store in the mall? A lot of us have wanted to date Clyde to get free shoes, but we couldn't, because he wasn't...popular enough!
Wendy: [horrified] You knew?!
Girl 2: [takes a package out of a file] Unfortunately, the members voted Clyde in the bottom five of the list. That's why we had to manipulate the votes, forge a new list and hide the real one. [points to the package]
Wendy: [angry] So that you could all justify dating Clyde and get shoes!? How dare you take advantage of your position! I'm going to tell Bebe and have you both de-sparkled from the list committee!
Girl 1: Bebe? Who do you think authorized the buyout? [shocking music plays]
Wendy: No, not Bebe.
Girl 2: She's dating Clyde now! Nobody loves shoes more than her!
Stan: [confused] What's going on?
Wendy: When the other girls find out you ignored their votes they're gonna--
Girl 1: You really think they'll believe you over the heads of the Committee!? We'll simply generate a new list, "biggest liars," and put you at the top!
Girl 2: Do yourself a favor, Wendy! Just let it go, and keep your little mouth shut!
Wendy: [coldly] I don't think so. [kicks girl holding list in the crotch. She howls and drops the list. Wendy grabs it] Stan, run!
Stan: Jesus, dude! [runs after Wendy]
TV Show: South Park
Clyde: [noticing Kyle's depressed state of mind as he walks past] Hey, Kyle! Look man, it doesn't matter what people think, okay? Y'know Abraham Lincoln was super-ugly too, but look what he accomplished! [pats Kyle on the back] Chin up, cowboy! [approaches a girl] Hey, what's goin' on? [girl starts speaking in the background]
Butters: [to Kyle] Hey! Nice...nice ears Haha! Pizza face! [runs off laughing]
Clyde: [ending his conversation abruptly and speaking angrily] Butters! That's not cool, man! He can't help how he looks!
Butters: [to Kyle] Hey! Nice...nice ears Haha! Pizza face! [runs off laughing]
Clyde: [ending his conversation abruptly and speaking angrily] Butters! That's not cool, man! He can't help how he looks!
TV Show: South Park
Wendy: Stan, it's been really great hanging out with you again. [Stan smiles] I feel like you've changed somehow [Stan smiles more broadly] in a really awesome way.
Stan: Yeah, well I guess a lot of things...change, don't they?
[happy music starts playing as the camera zooms in to their faces. Wendy takes a step closer and leans in to kiss Stan. A funny look comes over his face and he vomits into Wendy's face...twice]
Stan: Yeah, well I guess a lot of things...change, don't they?
[happy music starts playing as the camera zooms in to their faces. Wendy takes a step closer and leans in to kiss Stan. A funny look comes over his face and he vomits into Wendy's face...twice]
TV Show: South Park