South Park Quotes
Stan: Guys, we have no choice. We're gonna have to move away. Environmental activists don't use logic or reason.
TV Show: South Park
Stan: Hey Wendy, you're a bitch! Token, [flips him off]
Stan: Right here, buddy. [Token and Wendy walk off angrily]
TV Show: South Park
Stan: Hey, he's still alive. [yelling into hole]
Stan: Kyle. Are you OK?
Kyle: I think so. Is Cartman up there?
Cartman: I'm right here, Kyle.
Kyle: Cartman, you *beep*ing hunk of fat, rat *beep*ing hunk of pig *beep*ing ass fat.
Cartman: Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah? Say that to my *face*, pussy!
TV Show: South Park
Stan: Hi Kenny.
Butters: I told you my name isn't Kenny. It's Butters.
Stan: Hi new Kenny.
TV Show: South Park
Stan: Jimmy, will you go talk to Wendy for me?
Jimmy: F-F-for wh-what?
Stan: Just go talk to her, and be poetic. Tell her she's my muse. No, tell her... tell her... she's a continuing source of inspiration to me.
Jimmy: She's what?
Stan: She's a continuing source of inspiration to me.
Jimmy: Okay. Hey, W- Hey, Wendy.
Wendy: Yeah?
Jimmy: Stan says you're a cont... you're a cont... Stan says you're a cont- cont... [sounds like "cunt"]
Wendy: Well, tell Stan to stop! [walks away]
Jimmy: [continues] ... cont... You're a continuing source of inspiration to him.
TV Show: South Park
Stan: Maybe you have brain cancer.
Eric Cartman: You think so?
Kyle Broflovski: Don't get cancer on the ladder, Cartman. You might fall off and break it.
TV Show: South Park
Stan: Oh my god. Jay Leno's chin killed Kenny.
Kyle: You bastard.
Jay Leno: Ah, who cares? He dies every episode.
TV Show: South Park
Stan: Oh, my God! Fonics monkey killed Kenny!
Cartman: You're damn right he did.
TV Show: South Park
Stan: They took our jobs! [audience replies]
Stan: Dey tok yer jobs! Dey tk yer jabbs! Derrker derrrd!
TV Show: South Park
Stan: Wendy? You didn't?
Wendy: I told her. DON'T [beep]
Wendy: WITH WENDY TESTABERGER!
TV Show: South Park
Stan: We're not getting on, you fat ugly bitch.
Mrs. Crabtree: [shouting] What did you say?
Stan: I said, "We're not getting on, you fat ugly bitch."
Mrs. Crabtree: Oh.
Kyle: Whoa, dude.
Stan: I always wondered if that would work.
TV Show: South Park
Stan: What would I do if Kyle died, Kenny? I'd never see him again! [cries]
Kenny: That does it! I'm sick and tired of this bullshit. Screw you guys, I'm going home! [a piano falls, crushing him]
TV Show: South Park
Stan: Whoa, wait a minute! Kyle saved your life. I think you at least owe him a thank-you!
Cartman: [sighs] Okay. Kyle... [credits roll]
TV Show: South Park
Stan: Yeah well, I'll kick your ass so hard you'll wish you... never had it... to begin with. Your ass, I mean.
TV Show: South Park
Stan: You're my super best friend, Kyle.
Kyle: You're my super best friend, Stan.
Cartman: Oh, that's so sweet you guys. You two want to get a room so you can make out for a while? [both Stan and Kyle take turns kicking Cartman]
TV Show: South Park
Terrance: Hey Phillip, guess what?
Phillip: What?
Terrance: [Farts] Farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt.
TV Show: South Park
Terrance: I'm going to put on a pirate costume. [doorbell rings]
Delivery Man: Special delivery for Terrance.
Philip: I'll take that.
Delivery Man: Sign here, and here, and here, and here, and here... and here.
Philip: Oh Terrance, you got a letter.
Terrance: Shiver me timbers Philip. At this rate I'll never get to my Kraft dinner.
TV Show: South Park
Timmy: [pointing out turkey] TIMMY!
Farmer: Oh... that one's a little messed up.
Kyle: Timmy, if we go back with that turkey, the other guys will kick our asses.
Farmer: Well, I was just gonna take it out in the back yard and put a bullet in its head...
Timmy: TIMMY!
Kyle: No, dude, don't say that!
Timmy: TIMMY!
Kyle: Fine, how much?
Farmer: Fifty bucks.
Kyle: What? But you were gonna take it in the back yard and put a bullet in its head!
Farmer: Well, now I have to find something else to shoot.
Kyle: Goddamn it, here! [pays]
Farmer: You know, I have a one-legged pig...
Kyle: Aw, blow it out your ass!
TV Show: South Park
Tweek: But what if I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?
Stan: Tweek, when has that ever happened, except for that one time?
TV Show: South Park
Token: [to Cartman] Good job, dickhead! We lost the entire audience!
Cartman: Ah, fuck you Token, you black asshole! [Token kicks the crap out of Cartman and leaves him coughing on all fours]
Stan: Hmm, guess he got what he deserved.
Butters: [Standing around Cartman, then after a while he farts on Cartman and gives him the finger] Fuck you, Eric.
TV Show: South Park
Mayor: An animated Christmas card? Kids, that just might be the dumbest idea I've ever heard, ever!
TV Show: South Park
Sharon Marsh: Hello? Sheila? This is Sharon Marsh, Stan's mother.
Sheila Broflovsky: Yes Mrs. Marsh what can I do for you?
Sharon Marsh: My son tells me that you've been telling my son about the school nurse's condition.
Sheila Broflovsky: Yes. She has a dead fetus hanging from the side of her head.
Sharon Marsh: Yes well, the next time you want to scare the hell out of my son warn me first.
TV Show: South Park