Spin City Quotes
Mike: (In a spacesuit, about to have sex with Heidi Klum) One small step for man, one giant... (stares at Heidi's breasts) Oh dear God, thank you. (jumps and floats in bed) The eagle has landed. (Heidi's bra, Mike's underwear, and a packet of condoms floats across the screen) Space is cool.
TV Show: Spin City
Stuart: (Looking at a picture of James's aunt Sarah) Wow, she was a cow.
Nikki: Stuart, very nice.
Stuart: I'm serious, she was an actual cow.
Nikki: Stuart, very nice.
Stuart: I'm serious, she was an actual cow.
TV Show: Spin City
[Mike and Carter are trying to shut off a fan in Paul's office]
Carter: Go on without me!
Mike: I'm not leaving you behind!
Carter: You don't have a choice!
Mike: Whatever may occur, I will find you!
Carter: Go on without me!
Mike: I'm not leaving you behind!
Carter: You don't have a choice!
Mike: Whatever may occur, I will find you!
TV Show: Spin City
James: Look at me Mike. I'm twenty-six, I'm single..., and I'm holding the ashes of a dead cow
TV Show: Spin City
Mike: (slapping Paul on the but) Way to go Paulie.
[Paul walks away]
Mike: It's a lot firmer than you think.
[Paul walks away]
Mike: It's a lot firmer than you think.
TV Show: Spin City
Janelle: Look, do what I do. Picture Stuart as a new puppy. Is it helping.
Stacey: Nope, still trying to hump my leg
Stacey: Nope, still trying to hump my leg
TV Show: Spin City
[Mike aims and purposefully misses the adult deer]
Nolan: Wow. I didn't even see that one. We don't usually shot babies but that was a hell of a shot. (laughs)
Nolan: Wow. I didn't even see that one. We don't usually shot babies but that was a hell of a shot. (laughs)
TV Show: Spin City
Carter: Mike, shouldn't we wear the oranges?
Mike: Oh, forget the oranges.
[Mike opens the door and a gunshot is heard]
Mike: Let's orange up.
Mike: Oh, forget the oranges.
[Mike opens the door and a gunshot is heard]
Mike: Let's orange up.
TV Show: Spin City
[Mike and Carter have taken the wounded deer to a hospital]
Doctor: what are you doing, that is a deer
Mike: Oh darn, that means I’ve got Ed strapped to the roof of my car
Doctor: what are you doing, that is a deer
Mike: Oh darn, that means I’ve got Ed strapped to the roof of my car
TV Show: Spin City
[Filling out patient admission forms at the hospital for the deer]
Carter: Blood type?
Mike: Deer? [off Carter’s look] Deer negative.
Carter: ‘Relationship to patient’ oh that’s easy: Assassin!
Mike: Listen Carter, I may have shot him, but you ate his mother!
Carter: Blood type?
Mike: Deer? [off Carter’s look] Deer negative.
Carter: ‘Relationship to patient’ oh that’s easy: Assassin!
Mike: Listen Carter, I may have shot him, but you ate his mother!
TV Show: Spin City
Deidre: [Meeting Carter and Rags for the first time] Right, you're the gay guy. [She opens her robe, flashing him] So this means nothing to you? [Carter stares in shock and covers Rags' eyes]
TV Show: Spin City
[James is in a Michael Jackson costume and Carter walks in with his costume covered in a coat cover]
Carter: (sees James and tosses his costume to the floor) DAMN IT!
Carter: (sees James and tosses his costume to the floor) DAMN IT!
TV Show: Spin City
[Stuart is wearing a Bill Clinton mask]
Stuart: (in a Bill Clinton like voice) Deny, deny, deny.
Stuart: (in a Bill Clinton like voice) Deny, deny, deny.
TV Show: Spin City
[Mike and Carter are looking for Councilman Pete]
Carter: (in a bunny suit) Mike, hurry up!
Mike: I can't run in this suit!
[Mike runs into a phone booth and changes into a Superman costume]
Carter: (in a bunny suit) Mike, hurry up!
Mike: I can't run in this suit!
[Mike runs into a phone booth and changes into a Superman costume]
TV Show: Spin City
Lloyd and Carter: (together) You're disgusting.
Alfred and Stuart" (together) Bite me.
Alfred and Stuart" (together) Bite me.
TV Show: Spin City
[Carter is having a dream about the future]
Old Stuart: Long time no see. How old are you now?
Mike: (Looks exactly the same) Eighty-eight.
Old Stuart: Long time no see. How old are you now?
Mike: (Looks exactly the same) Eighty-eight.
TV Show: Spin City
Stuart: You know who I can't believe is still alive?
Carter: Who? Ha.
[Camera shows Rags sitting on a chair]
Carter: Who? Ha.
[Camera shows Rags sitting on a chair]
TV Show: Spin City
Mike: Commisioner Baldwin has spent 14 years developing this toilet. We can't just steal it.
Stuart: Why not?
Mike: Good point. You really change my opinion.
Stuart: Why not?
Mike: Good point. You really change my opinion.
TV Show: Spin City
Carter: I don't get this rock-papers-scissor. Why does paper beat rock?
Stuart: It just does!
Mike: Why don't you grab a piece of paper, I get a rock, we'll meet at the playground and then let's see what beats what!
Stuart: It just does!
Mike: Why don't you grab a piece of paper, I get a rock, we'll meet at the playground and then let's see what beats what!
TV Show: Spin City
Mike: Why did you do that?
Stuart: Did you not walk up and down in a 300 pound fat-suit?
Mike: Yeah.
Stuart: Then I don't understand the question...
Stuart: Did you not walk up and down in a 300 pound fat-suit?
Mike: Yeah.
Stuart: Then I don't understand the question...
TV Show: Spin City
Mike is listing sexual harassment items against Stuart
Mike: Item 10: Inappropriate use of the word "mount". Item 11: Pushing the elevator button without using his hands. (pause) What floor?
Stuart: 3rd
Mike: That's not bad.
Mike: Item 10: Inappropriate use of the word "mount". Item 11: Pushing the elevator button without using his hands. (pause) What floor?
Stuart: 3rd
Mike: That's not bad.
TV Show: Spin City
Mayor: I complimented Judge Stenciler's mustache today.
Janelle gapes
Mayor: I know... She was not happy.
Janelle gapes
Mayor: I know... She was not happy.
TV Show: Spin City
Janelle is walking in on the Mayor, Paul, and Carter practicing the waltz
Janelle: With the new security cameras, I'll bet some guard is getting a kick out of this.
Guard(sitting in the security cam room): Shake it, fellas. Shake it.
Janelle: With the new security cameras, I'll bet some guard is getting a kick out of this.
Guard(sitting in the security cam room): Shake it, fellas. Shake it.
TV Show: Spin City
Mike: So - has anybody felt harassed by Stuart?
Paul: Stuart has been publicing naked pictures of me to the internet!
Mike: That's not harassing you, Paul, that's harassing the internet.
Paul: Stuart has been publicing naked pictures of me to the internet!
Mike: That's not harassing you, Paul, that's harassing the internet.
TV Show: Spin City
Stuart and Diedre is having a fight, after their break-up
Stuart: I slept with your sister!
Dierdre: I was there, you idiot!
Stuart: I slept with your sister!
Dierdre: I was there, you idiot!
TV Show: Spin City
Mike: This is like stepping back in time.
Owen: The past is prologue, Michael. Men like us have to keep looking to the future.
Mike: What the hell are you talking about?
Owen: I don't know.
Owen: The past is prologue, Michael. Men like us have to keep looking to the future.
Mike: What the hell are you talking about?
Owen: I don't know.
TV Show: Spin City
Mike: (reading Owen's list)Things to do: Banish Satan and the forces of Evil; build the New Jerusalem; buy milk...
Owen: Damn! I always forget the milk!
Owen: Damn! I always forget the milk!
TV Show: Spin City