SpongeBob SquarePants Quotes
[Patchy the Pirate is eating cookie dough straight from the bowl]
Patchy: Mmmm...unbaked cookie dough!
Potty the Parrot: Squawk! Potty want cookie dough.
Patchy: No, Potty! No! Don't, Potty! Potty...
Potty the Parrot: Squawk! Give us a lick!
Patchy: Back off, you flying freak!
Potty the Parrot: Squawk! Clarify, please.
Patchy: This here cookie dough is for the children, not for pesky parrots!
[there are three bells rang]
Patchy: What's that? Three bells! Well, we all know what three bells mean!
Children: Free ice cream!
Patchy: [laughs] No, you silly livers! NO!
Potty the Parrot: Squawk! Man overboard?
Patchy: You, I'm ignoring. No...it's time to open fan letters!
Patchy: Mmmm...unbaked cookie dough!
Potty the Parrot: Squawk! Potty want cookie dough.
Patchy: No, Potty! No! Don't, Potty! Potty...
Potty the Parrot: Squawk! Give us a lick!
Patchy: Back off, you flying freak!
Potty the Parrot: Squawk! Clarify, please.
Patchy: This here cookie dough is for the children, not for pesky parrots!
[there are three bells rang]
Patchy: What's that? Three bells! Well, we all know what three bells mean!
Children: Free ice cream!
Patchy: [laughs] No, you silly livers! NO!
Potty the Parrot: Squawk! Man overboard?
Patchy: You, I'm ignoring. No...it's time to open fan letters!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[After "Santa" Squidward gives away all his possessions]
Squidward: What was I thinking? I gave away all of my stuff, just so Spongebob wouldn't be sad. Am I insane?
[A knock sounds on the door]
Squidward: You might as well take the door. That's all that's left.
Squidward: What was I thinking? I gave away all of my stuff, just so Spongebob wouldn't be sad. Am I insane?
[A knock sounds on the door]
Squidward: You might as well take the door. That's all that's left.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patchy: Ooh, ye old mistletoe! And you know what that means! [takes out breath spray and squirts a couple times in his mouth] Alright, who wants to kiss Patchy? Come on, now!
Potty: Squawk! Potty wants a kiss!
Patchy: No! Potty! We discussed this before--
Potty: POTTY WANTS A KISS!
[They continue to chase each other around the room]
Narrator: Well, it looks like Patchy is very busy at this moment, so I'll say it for him: goodbye and happy holidays.
Potty: Squawk! Potty wants a kiss!
Patchy: No! Potty! We discussed this before--
Potty: POTTY WANTS A KISS!
[They continue to chase each other around the room]
Narrator: Well, it looks like Patchy is very busy at this moment, so I'll say it for him: goodbye and happy holidays.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[SpongeBob and Patrick are fighting about who is Dirty Dan, SpongeBob suddenly screams]
Patrick: Screaming will get you nowhere.
Patrick: Screaming will get you nowhere.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[After Patrick almost wakes up Sandy]
SpongeBob: No, Pat! We don't want to disturb her!
Patrick: That's not disturbing, this is disturbing. [turns around and folds back fat up into a face] Hi, there, SpongeBob. My name is Pat-back.
SpongeBob: HA! That is really disturbing.
SpongeBob: No, Pat! We don't want to disturb her!
Patrick: That's not disturbing, this is disturbing. [turns around and folds back fat up into a face] Hi, there, SpongeBob. My name is Pat-back.
SpongeBob: HA! That is really disturbing.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Sandy: [dreaming] Gonna skin y'all and make a pair o' size six boots...
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Sandy: [dreaming] You're nothing but pure evil, just like newspaper comics...
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Sandy: [Grabs Spongebob and Patrick by their pants]
Spongebob: Sandy, it's us! Spongebob and Patrick!
Patrick: Please Sandy, I can't afford dry cleaning!
Spongebob: Sandy, it's us! Spongebob and Patrick!
Patrick: Please Sandy, I can't afford dry cleaning!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Sandy: [sleep-walking] Which one of you fellers is the real Dirty Dan?
Patrick: Um, I am? [Sandy slams him into her oak tree; dazed] Hot wings...
Sandy: Okay, Pinhead Larry, now you get yours! [SpongeBob screams and runs]PINHEEEEEEAAAAAADDDDD!!!
Patrick: Um, I am? [Sandy slams him into her oak tree; dazed] Hot wings...
Sandy: Okay, Pinhead Larry, now you get yours! [SpongeBob screams and runs]PINHEEEEEEAAAAAADDDDD!!!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: I've got it! We'll burn the bark from Sandy's tree! [begins to peel some wood off of the tree]
Sandy: [dreaming] You're gonna be wearin' an iron lung when I'm through with you, Pinhead!
SpongeBob: [tapes the wood back on the tree] Fire's not gonna happen, Patrick. How does she go through these intense conditions?
Patrick: Maybe she just ignores it.
SpongeBob: Maybe...
Patrick: Maybe...
SpongeBob: Maybe it's her fur!
Sandy: [dreaming] You're gonna be wearin' an iron lung when I'm through with you, Pinhead!
SpongeBob: [tapes the wood back on the tree] Fire's not gonna happen, Patrick. How does she go through these intense conditions?
Patrick: Maybe she just ignores it.
SpongeBob: Maybe...
Patrick: Maybe...
SpongeBob: Maybe it's her fur!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Spongebob: (In a southern voice) Alright pinhead, your time is up.
Patrick: (with a looney, bucktooth face) Who are you calling pinhead?
Patrick: (with a looney, bucktooth face) Who are you calling pinhead?
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Spongebob: (With a stick from the picnic table in his hand) Stay back Sandy. I'm warning ya. [Sandy roars in Spongebob's face] Alright! I warned ya! [throws stick]
Patrick: Did you win? [gets hit by the stick and rolls down hill speaking gibberish] Hi Spongebob.
Patrick: Did you win? [gets hit by the stick and rolls down hill speaking gibberish] Hi Spongebob.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SPONGEBOB: ( weeps ) Oh, Gary, why did you have to go? Why, Gary? ( beats the wall with his fist in his anguish ) Why, why, why, why, why?
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SPONGEBOB: Gosh, Larry is sure different than Gary. And Gary and Larry are real different than....Jerry. ( holds up a real life snail )
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
PATRICK: Would it be all right if Gary and I did some laundry over here?
SPONGEBOB: Laundry? But-- we used to do laundry!
PATRICK: And, uh, SpongeBob, could we borrow some soap?
SPONGEBOB: ( on the verge of breaking down ) Soap? But we used to use soap! [holds up two different types of soap] Do you want Fresh Scent, or Heavy Du-Du-Du...
PATRICK: Here it comes.
SPONGEBOB: Du-Du...( crying ) ...tyyyyyy!
SPONGEBOB: Laundry? But-- we used to do laundry!
PATRICK: And, uh, SpongeBob, could we borrow some soap?
SPONGEBOB: ( on the verge of breaking down ) Soap? But we used to use soap! [holds up two different types of soap] Do you want Fresh Scent, or Heavy Du-Du-Du...
PATRICK: Here it comes.
SPONGEBOB: Du-Du...( crying ) ...tyyyyyy!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SPONGEBOB: Oh, Gary, I knew you'd never leave me. Awww...let's go for a walk, pal! ( leads Gary out of the house on a leash, leaving Patrick alone )
PATRICK: Gary? I thought what we had was SPECIAAAAALLL!!
PATRICK: Gary? I thought what we had was SPECIAAAAALLL!!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
PATRICK: ( brushing his teeth ) Brush-brush-brush, brush-brush-brush, ( brushing his armpit ) brushing everywhere!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
PATRICK: I'm sorry Spongebob, but Gary's with me now, you had your chance and you failed. You have to stop living in the past. Face it Spongebob, you're only hurting yourself, it's what Gary wants, and what Gary wants is me! Right Gary? Huh?
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
PATRICK: He only liked me for my shorts!
SPONGEBOB: No, Patrick, he wanted the cookie in your pocket.
( Gary pulls a cookie out of Patrick's pocket and eats it )
SPONGEBOB: No, Patrick, he wanted the cookie in your pocket.
( Gary pulls a cookie out of Patrick's pocket and eats it )
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Narrator: Here we are again at the Bikini Bottom Boating School. Today is once again the day of SpongeBob's boating school exam. But more importantly, this is the last test for the year, and if SpongeBob does not pass this one, it means another whole year of BOATING SCHOOL! [SpongeBob hits the Narrator, who groans in pain]
SpongeBob: Wha happen?
Mrs. Puff: Oh, nothing SpongeBob, you just struck another pedestrian. Minus twenty more points.
SpongeBob: What does that leave me with?
Mrs. Puff: Negative 224.
SpongeBob: Wha happen?
Mrs. Puff: Oh, nothing SpongeBob, you just struck another pedestrian. Minus twenty more points.
SpongeBob: What does that leave me with?
Mrs. Puff: Negative 224.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Okay, Mrs. Puff, what's my final score?
Mrs. Puff: Six.
SpongeBob: Whoooo! And how many do I need to pass?
Mrs. Puff: Six...
SpongeBob: [bending over and rising up very slowly] Whooooooooo...
Mrs. Puff: ...hundred.
SpongeBob: Wha?
Mrs. Puff: Six hundred. You need six hundred to pass. You got six.
Mrs. Puff: Six.
SpongeBob: Whoooo! And how many do I need to pass?
Mrs. Puff: Six...
SpongeBob: [bending over and rising up very slowly] Whooooooooo...
Mrs. Puff: ...hundred.
SpongeBob: Wha?
Mrs. Puff: Six hundred. You need six hundred to pass. You got six.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[Mrs. Puff allows SpongeBob to slide through her class using extra credit so she can get rid of him]
Mrs. Puff: You pass! You pass!
SpongeBob: Mrs. Puff, I don't feel like I really did anything.
Mrs. Puff: That's how extra credit is supposed to feel.
SpongeBob: Really?
Mrs. Puff: Besides, here's your driver's license.
[She gives SpongeBob a small plastic card]
SpongeBob: My driver's license! [licks it] It tastes just like I dreamt it would!
Mrs. Puff: You pass! You pass!
SpongeBob: Mrs. Puff, I don't feel like I really did anything.
Mrs. Puff: That's how extra credit is supposed to feel.
SpongeBob: Really?
Mrs. Puff: Besides, here's your driver's license.
[She gives SpongeBob a small plastic card]
SpongeBob: My driver's license! [licks it] It tastes just like I dreamt it would!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Spongebob: [Holding on to boatmobile] I'm... not... letting... go! [Car swerves] Nothing will stop me! Not even- [Gasps] Giant clams!? [Spongebob gets bit by clams] Not... letting... go! Even for- [Gasps] Cheese graters!? [Spongebob gets grated] Y-You think I'd let go for a little- Educational television?! OH NO! [Spongebob lets go of the boat] AAAAAAAAAAAAH!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[SpongeBob is speaking to Mrs. Puff over a phone line while she resides in the Bikini Bottom Jail]
SpongeBob: So, how's it going, Mrs. Puff?
Mrs. Puff: [meekly] Spongebob, I'd like to apologize. I shouldn't have passed you. You really weren't ready.
SpongeBob: [quietly] So I guess I gotta give my license back, huh?
Mrs. Puff: I hear Mrs. Flounder is starting a new class Monday morning.
SpongeBob: [smiling] You kidding? You're the only teacher for this student! And besides, the warden says she'll let you go early, if you do her a favor.
Mrs. Puff: What's that?
SpongeBob: Free driving lessons! [laughs]
SpongeBob: So, how's it going, Mrs. Puff?
Mrs. Puff: [meekly] Spongebob, I'd like to apologize. I shouldn't have passed you. You really weren't ready.
SpongeBob: [quietly] So I guess I gotta give my license back, huh?
Mrs. Puff: I hear Mrs. Flounder is starting a new class Monday morning.
SpongeBob: [smiling] You kidding? You're the only teacher for this student! And besides, the warden says she'll let you go early, if you do her a favor.
Mrs. Puff: What's that?
SpongeBob: Free driving lessons! [laughs]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Spongebob: [wakes up in boat] Hey, I'm Driving! [sees Mrs Puff, the "boat-jacker"]
Both: AHHHHHHHHHH!!
Spongebob: What are you doing with my boat?! And why are wearing that ski mask, because you're not skiing!!! [gasps] Oh my gosh I know who you are.
Mrs. Puff: No! You don't know who I am!
Spongebob: Yes I do! I know that you're... a boat-jacker! I never thought I'd have to use this pepper spray! [sprays the pepper spray in eyes, Spongebob screams] Ah! It's in my eyes!
Both: AHHHHHHHHHH!!
Spongebob: What are you doing with my boat?! And why are wearing that ski mask, because you're not skiing!!! [gasps] Oh my gosh I know who you are.
Mrs. Puff: No! You don't know who I am!
Spongebob: Yes I do! I know that you're... a boat-jacker! I never thought I'd have to use this pepper spray! [sprays the pepper spray in eyes, Spongebob screams] Ah! It's in my eyes!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants