SpongeBob SquarePants Quotes
Spongebob: [disguided as radio] Welcome to KRUD where we play all the ["You wont get away with stealing my car!!"] hits! [climbs out of radio hole, Mrs. Puff screams]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: But I was your biggest fan!
Kevin: So were they. [points down to some fans he has managed to get rid of, trapped at the bottom of the ledge at a campfire]
Fish: Look, everybody! Kevin's back! [they cheer]
Kevin: So were they. [points down to some fans he has managed to get rid of, trapped at the bottom of the ledge at a campfire]
Fish: Look, everybody! Kevin's back! [they cheer]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Kevin: Punch yourself in the face
Spongebob: [Punches himself in the face]
Kevin: Doesn't that hurt you?
Spongebob: [holds up a metal boxing glove] Do you want it to hurt me, Kevin?
Spongebob: [Punches himself in the face]
Kevin: Doesn't that hurt you?
Spongebob: [holds up a metal boxing glove] Do you want it to hurt me, Kevin?
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Look, Patrick, state of the art jellyfishing nets!
Patrick: Touch. [touches one of the nets]
Guard: Don't touch.
SpongeBob: Ooh, the harpoon used in Jellyfish: The Movie!
Patrick: Touch. [touches it]
Guard: [getting annoyed] Don't touch!
SpongeBob: Look! Dr. Man'O'War, the guy who got stung by Big Lenny, and lived!
Dr. Man'O'War: And now it only hurts if you touch it.
Patrick: Touch. [touches the sting]
Dr. Man'O'War: OW!
Guard: Do I have to follow you all day?!
Patrick: Touch. [touches one of the nets]
Guard: Don't touch.
SpongeBob: Ooh, the harpoon used in Jellyfish: The Movie!
Patrick: Touch. [touches it]
Guard: [getting annoyed] Don't touch!
SpongeBob: Look! Dr. Man'O'War, the guy who got stung by Big Lenny, and lived!
Dr. Man'O'War: And now it only hurts if you touch it.
Patrick: Touch. [touches the sting]
Dr. Man'O'War: OW!
Guard: Do I have to follow you all day?!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: [about Kevin] What's so great about a nerdy pickle?
SpongeBob: If I could just touch the hem of his pocket protector, then maybe some of his greatness will rub off on me!
Patrick: SpongeBob, as a friend, I must say, that's really geeky. [Jeffrey the Jellyfish walks by; Patrick gasps] Oh, my gosh! Jeffrey Jellyfish! [runs after him] Wait, Jeffrey, I have to touch you!
Guard: [running after Patrick] Hey!
SpongeBob: If I could just touch the hem of his pocket protector, then maybe some of his greatness will rub off on me!
Patrick: SpongeBob, as a friend, I must say, that's really geeky. [Jeffrey the Jellyfish walks by; Patrick gasps] Oh, my gosh! Jeffrey Jellyfish! [runs after him] Wait, Jeffrey, I have to touch you!
Guard: [running after Patrick] Hey!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: I'm glad you learned your lesson, SpongeBob. Hero worship is unhealthy. [pulls Jeffery the Jellyfish in a wagon] Come along, Jeffery.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Kevin: [after the king jellyfish takes the pie bubble] How did you know?
SpongeBob: [laughs] Everybody loves pie!
SpongeBob: [laughs] Everybody loves pie!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Hi Kevin, I'm your biggest fan.
Kevin: You're too kind. SECURITY!!
Kevin: You're too kind. SECURITY!!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[Man-Ray sits on the floor with a hand over his face, pretending to cry]
Man-Ray: Boo-hoo-hoo! Oh, sob! Oh, cry! [peeks through his fingers to see if SpongeBob and Patrick are watching] Oh, woe is me! You don't know what it's like, being evil for so long! Oh, how I wish to be good! If only some kind heroes would show me the path to decency!
[SpongeBob and Patrick beam at one another]
SpongeBob: We could teach you how to be good! And then we'll let you go!
Man-Ray: Oh, that would be fantastic! [to himself] I'll fake my way through this, just like I did in high school.
Man-Ray: Boo-hoo-hoo! Oh, sob! Oh, cry! [peeks through his fingers to see if SpongeBob and Patrick are watching] Oh, woe is me! You don't know what it's like, being evil for so long! Oh, how I wish to be good! If only some kind heroes would show me the path to decency!
[SpongeBob and Patrick beam at one another]
SpongeBob: We could teach you how to be good! And then we'll let you go!
Man-Ray: Oh, that would be fantastic! [to himself] I'll fake my way through this, just like I did in high school.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mermaid Man: Prolonged exposure to the Orb of Confusion will give you...er...confusion.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Spongebob: Ok, goodness lesson #2, you see someone struggling with a heavy package, what do you do?
Man-Ray: Excuse me sir, i saw you struggling with that package, do you need some help?
Patrick: [drops package on Man-Ray] oops sorry, can i start over?
Man-Ray: I was just wondering if you would [patrick drops package on his foot again] OW!!!!
Patrick: oops sorry, again, i would [drops the package on Man-Ray's foot again]
Man-Ray: OW YOU BUTTERED FINGERED PINK THING! What's in that box anyway!!??
Patrick: My wallets
Man-Ray: Excuse me sir, i saw you struggling with that package, do you need some help?
Patrick: [drops package on Man-Ray] oops sorry, can i start over?
Man-Ray: I was just wondering if you would [patrick drops package on his foot again] OW!!!!
Patrick: oops sorry, again, i would [drops the package on Man-Ray's foot again]
Man-Ray: OW YOU BUTTERED FINGERED PINK THING! What's in that box anyway!!??
Patrick: My wallets
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Man-Ray: [falsely polite] Excuse me, sir, but I do believe you've dropped your wallet.
Patrick: Doesn't look familiar to me.
Man-Ray: What? But, I just saw you drop it. Here.
Patrick: No, it's not mine.
Man-Ray: It is yours. I am trying to be a good person in returning it to you.
Patrick: Return what to who?
[Man-Ray claps a hand over his face in frustration]
Man-Ray: [holding up ID card] Aren't you Patrick Star?
Patrick: Yep.
Man-Ray: And this is your ID.
Patrick: Yep.
Man-Ray: I found this ID in this wallet. And if that's the case, this must be your wallet.
Patrick: That makes sense to me.
Man-Ray: Then take it.
Patrick: It's not my wallet.
Patrick: Doesn't look familiar to me.
Man-Ray: What? But, I just saw you drop it. Here.
Patrick: No, it's not mine.
Man-Ray: It is yours. I am trying to be a good person in returning it to you.
Patrick: Return what to who?
[Man-Ray claps a hand over his face in frustration]
Man-Ray: [holding up ID card] Aren't you Patrick Star?
Patrick: Yep.
Man-Ray: And this is your ID.
Patrick: Yep.
Man-Ray: I found this ID in this wallet. And if that's the case, this must be your wallet.
Patrick: That makes sense to me.
Man-Ray: Then take it.
Patrick: It's not my wallet.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[After SpongeBob and Patrick crash the Invisible Boat Mobile]
Patrick: Thank goodness for invisible seat belts!
Patrick: Thank goodness for invisible seat belts!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[After Man-Ray unsuccessfully attempts to rob a bank]
Man-Ray: Agh! The belt is gone, but I still feel its tickle! The urge to do bad is gone! [to the lady at the counter] I guess I'll just open a checking account.
Man-Ray: Agh! The belt is gone, but I still feel its tickle! The urge to do bad is gone! [to the lady at the counter] I guess I'll just open a checking account.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[SpongeBob and Patrick have been reduced to piles of ashes]
Patrick: What's that smell, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: That, Patrick, is the smell of defeat.
Patrick: Good. I thought it was my skin.
SpongeBob: Forget about your skin, Patrick! Man-Ray is still bad!
Patrick: What's that smell, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: That, Patrick, is the smell of defeat.
Patrick: Good. I thought it was my skin.
SpongeBob: Forget about your skin, Patrick! Man-Ray is still bad!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Man-Ray!
Man-Ray: No need to be alarmed, SpongeBob. Your teachings have transformed me. Besides, I have checks with little poodles on them!
Man-Ray: No need to be alarmed, SpongeBob. Your teachings have transformed me. Besides, I have checks with little poodles on them!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Sandy: I'm a squirrel. See? [points to the acorn logo on her suit]
SpongeBob: I thought that meant you were nuts.
SpongeBob: I thought that meant you were nuts.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Sandy: I'll show y'all! I don't need this suit! [rips her suit off]
[SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs and Squidward gasp]
Sandy: And I don't need this helmet, neither! [takes off her helmet and breaks it]
Mr. Krabs: Neptune preserve her!
Squidward: How long can she stay like that?
SpongeBob: I don't know.
Patrick: Sandy's a girl?!
[SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs and Squidward gasp]
Sandy: And I don't need this helmet, neither! [takes off her helmet and breaks it]
Mr. Krabs: Neptune preserve her!
Squidward: How long can she stay like that?
SpongeBob: I don't know.
Patrick: Sandy's a girl?!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[Sandy sees SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, and Squidward being attacked by giant sea gulls]
Sandy: [gasps] Holy guacamole! You can't eat my friends, you rats with wings! Hi-ya!
[She launches into karate mode and literally beats the stuffing out of the seagulls]
Sandy: [gasps] Holy guacamole! You can't eat my friends, you rats with wings! Hi-ya!
[She launches into karate mode and literally beats the stuffing out of the seagulls]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mr. Krabs: Three cheers for feeling sorry for ourselves! Hip-hip...
SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, Mr. Krabs & Sandy: HOORAY!
Mr. Krabs: Hip-hip...
SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, Mr. Krabs & Sandy: HOORAY!
Mr. Krabs: Hip-hip...
Seagulls: Hooray... [their bodies are completely naked because of Sandy's karate]
SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, Mr. Krabs & Sandy: HOORAY!
Mr. Krabs: Hip-hip...
SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, Mr. Krabs & Sandy: HOORAY!
Mr. Krabs: Hip-hip...
Seagulls: Hooray... [their bodies are completely naked because of Sandy's karate]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: If I saw that guy, I'd have a few choice words for him. Like "you" and "are" and "a jerk"!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: I'm getting so close to solving this crime, I can almost taste it. [licks what looks like SpongeBob] Boy, crime fighting makes me hungry, and this yellow popsicle hits the spot!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: [upon being arrested] Wow, you guys are good. I was the last person I would have suspected, but I was looking for me all the time! It's the perfect crime!
Police Officer: Yeah, yeah. Tell it to the judge, Pinky.
Police Officer: Yeah, yeah. Tell it to the judge, Pinky.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: I've...uhh...got to go get my hair cut!
Sandy: SpongeBob doesn't have hair...or does he?
Sandy: SpongeBob doesn't have hair...or does he?
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
P.A. Announcer: Attention all Zoo patrons, Clamu the Sea Oyster is on an emotional rampage! Please scream and run around in circles.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: [panicked] Squidward! The sky had a baby from my cereal box! SQUIIIDWAAARD! [Squidward pops head out of window] Squidward, the sky had a baby. [points to anchor in house]
Squidward: [irritated] That's not a baby; that's a giant anchor. Now go away!
Patrick appears randomly.
Patrick: [excitedly] SpongeBob, the sky had a baby!
SpongeBob: I know! What do you think we should name it?
Squidward: [irritated] That's not a baby; that's a giant anchor. Now go away!
Patrick appears randomly.
Patrick: [excitedly] SpongeBob, the sky had a baby!
SpongeBob: I know! What do you think we should name it?
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Spongebob: I know who owns this boat, I just can't place the name. [barrel reading "Property of the Flying Dutchman" in background]
As Squidward continues to knock on the cabin door, it opens and the Flying Dutchman bursts forth.
Flying Dutchman: [scarily] AHHHH AOOOOW WAAAAH!
Spongebob: No, no, it's not DAAAAAH OOOW AH OOW AAAAH!
Flying Dutchman: I am the Flying Dutchman!
Spongebob: That's it! [turns around] Squidward! This ship belongs to the Red Baron!
As Squidward continues to knock on the cabin door, it opens and the Flying Dutchman bursts forth.
Flying Dutchman: [scarily] AHHHH AOOOOW WAAAAH!
Spongebob: No, no, it's not DAAAAAH OOOW AH OOW AAAAH!
Flying Dutchman: I am the Flying Dutchman!
Spongebob: That's it! [turns around] Squidward! This ship belongs to the Red Baron!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants