SpongeBob SquarePants Quotes
Flying Dutchman: Give me back my sock! Everyone knows I can't eat without it!
Spongebob: Never!
Flying Dutchman: [menacingly] Okay, then... [shoots fire from nose at Spongebob]
Spongebob raises sock in front of fire, making the Dutchman stop and suck it back in. He then grabs the sock and begins a tug-o-war with Spongebob.
Flying Dutchman: Ah, ooh, give it to me!
Spongebob: NO! [ripping sound]
Flying Dutchman: Wait! You're stretching out the elastic!
Spongebob: Never!
Flying Dutchman: [menacingly] Okay, then... [shoots fire from nose at Spongebob]
Spongebob raises sock in front of fire, making the Dutchman stop and suck it back in. He then grabs the sock and begins a tug-o-war with Spongebob.
Flying Dutchman: Ah, ooh, give it to me!
Spongebob: NO! [ripping sound]
Flying Dutchman: Wait! You're stretching out the elastic!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Flying Dutchman: Tell you what. You give me back the sock and I'll give you... three wishes.
Patrick: Make it five!
Flying Dutchman: Four.
Patrick: Three! Take it or leave it.
Pause.
Flying Dutchman: Okay... uh, three. You get three wishes.
SpongeBob: Wow, three wishes, Pat! How cool is that?!
Patrick: Wishes?! I wish we'd known that earlier!
The clock goes back five minutes.
Flying Dutchman: Okay, you got two wishes left.
Patrick smiles guiltily.
Patrick: Make it five!
Flying Dutchman: Four.
Patrick: Three! Take it or leave it.
Pause.
Flying Dutchman: Okay... uh, three. You get three wishes.
SpongeBob: Wow, three wishes, Pat! How cool is that?!
Patrick: Wishes?! I wish we'd known that earlier!
The clock goes back five minutes.
Flying Dutchman: Okay, you got two wishes left.
Patrick smiles guiltily.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Kid: [regarding SpongeBob and Patrick's pathetic attempt at scaring] Those guys are dorks.
Flying Dutchman: [annoyed] Yes, but they're my dorks.
Flying Dutchman: [annoyed] Yes, but they're my dorks.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: Wait, I have an idea.
Spongebob: Really? What is it?
Patrick: Let's leave.
SpongeBob: But the door is locked [points] and the only way out is through the... perfume department... [dramatic music]
Spongebob: Really? What is it?
Patrick: Let's leave.
SpongeBob: But the door is locked [points] and the only way out is through the... perfume department... [dramatic music]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Flying Dutchman: What a night. Crew, howl with me so that we might set the Seven Seas ablazed with fear!
Flying Dutchman: Awoooooooooo!
SpongeBob: [laughing] Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Patrick: Leedleedleedleedlee
Flying Dutchman: Awoooooooooo!
SpongeBob: [laughing] Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Patrick: Leedleedleedleedlee
Flying Dutchman: Aa.....
Patrick: Leeoooloodloooooleeaaaleeee
Flying Dutchman: Aa.....
Patrick: Looooleeeeaaabbbaaaaddaaaaaaaaaaa
Pause. Spongebob and Flying Dutchman look at Patrick
Flying Dutchman: Eh.Tha'll do.
Flying Dutchman: Awoooooooooo!
SpongeBob: [laughing] Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Patrick: Leedleedleedleedlee
Flying Dutchman: Awoooooooooo!
SpongeBob: [laughing] Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Patrick: Leedleedleedleedlee
Flying Dutchman: Aa.....
Patrick: Leeoooloodloooooleeaaaleeee
Flying Dutchman: Aa.....
Patrick: Looooleeeeaaabbbaaaaddaaaaaaaaaaa
Pause. Spongebob and Flying Dutchman look at Patrick
Flying Dutchman: Eh.Tha'll do.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: [to Squidward] What about all you said about him having a dirty ship and being lazy and all?
Squidward: [nervously] Ha, I-I never s-said that.
Flying Dutchman: Insulting a man's ship... be worse than insulting his mother.
SpongeBob: No, no, wait, it was his mother you said was dirty, not his ship!
The Flying Dutchman shoots fire out of his nose at Squidward, who screams in pain.
Squidward: [nervously] Ha, I-I never s-said that.
Flying Dutchman: Insulting a man's ship... be worse than insulting his mother.
SpongeBob: No, no, wait, it was his mother you said was dirty, not his ship!
The Flying Dutchman shoots fire out of his nose at Squidward, who screams in pain.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Flying Dutchman: Listen! Were going on a little haunting spree, so I want this ship to look good, and scary.
Spongebob: You mean you want it to look good,.... and scary. I think we could probably.....
Patrick: No,no, I think he wants it to look so good, that it's scary
Spongebob: Or maybe that by looking so scary, you forget that it doesn't look good.
Patrick: I don't get it
Spongebob: Look, it's easy, it simply means that....
Flying Dutchman: [Really annoyed] NEVERMIND WHAT IT MEANS!!!!!! I JUST WANT IT TO LOOK SCARY!! THATS IT! You know mold, growing on the ceilings, and bugs in the sink.
Spongebob: So you don't what it to look good.
Flying Dutchman: GET MOVIN!!!!!!!!
Spongebob and Patrick: [Really scared, singing, and swabbing the deck] A sailor's life is a wonderful life, a wonderful life ashore!!
Spongebob: You mean you want it to look good,.... and scary. I think we could probably.....
Patrick: No,no, I think he wants it to look so good, that it's scary
Spongebob: Or maybe that by looking so scary, you forget that it doesn't look good.
Patrick: I don't get it
Spongebob: Look, it's easy, it simply means that....
Flying Dutchman: [Really annoyed] NEVERMIND WHAT IT MEANS!!!!!! I JUST WANT IT TO LOOK SCARY!! THATS IT! You know mold, growing on the ceilings, and bugs in the sink.
Spongebob: So you don't what it to look good.
Flying Dutchman: GET MOVIN!!!!!!!!
Spongebob and Patrick: [Really scared, singing, and swabbing the deck] A sailor's life is a wonderful life, a wonderful life ashore!!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[SpongeBob, in his attempt to get Gary to bathe, has fallen into a giant mud puddle]
SpongeBob: [dismayed] I'm a dirty boy.
SpongeBob: [dismayed] I'm a dirty boy.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Look, dubloons! [hands two bars of soap to Gary] Don't drop 'em!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[SpongeBob, in his attempt to get Gary to bathe, tries hypnotizing him]
SpongeBob: I am now going to assault your mind with subliminal messages...
[Images of a bathtub, a shower, a bar of soap, and then a picture of a girl with pigtails and crooked teeth appear - clearly perplexing SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: [walking away] Sorry you had to see that...
SpongeBob: I am now going to assault your mind with subliminal messages...
[Images of a bathtub, a shower, a bar of soap, and then a picture of a girl with pigtails and crooked teeth appear - clearly perplexing SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: [walking away] Sorry you had to see that...
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: The sign says "kitchen," but my heart says "jail."
[Music begins]
SpongeBob: [singing] A stove is a stove, no matter where you go.
Mr. Krabs: [singing] A patty is a patty, that's what I say.
SpongeBob: [singing] A grill is a grill, this is surely so.
Mr. Krabs: [singing] And fries should be fries either way.
SpongeBob: [singing] But this grill is not a home. This is not the stove I know.
Mr. Krabs: [singing] I would trade it all away, if you'd come back to stay.
Both: [singing] This kitchen's not the same without you.
Mr. Krabs: [singing] It's just a greasy spooooooooon-
Spongebob: [singing] It's just a greasy spoon...
Both: [singing] Without you...
[Spongebob falls flat onto his face and begins to sob]
[Music begins]
SpongeBob: [singing] A stove is a stove, no matter where you go.
Mr. Krabs: [singing] A patty is a patty, that's what I say.
SpongeBob: [singing] A grill is a grill, this is surely so.
Mr. Krabs: [singing] And fries should be fries either way.
SpongeBob: [singing] But this grill is not a home. This is not the stove I know.
Mr. Krabs: [singing] I would trade it all away, if you'd come back to stay.
Both: [singing] This kitchen's not the same without you.
Mr. Krabs: [singing] It's just a greasy spooooooooon-
Spongebob: [singing] It's just a greasy spoon...
Both: [singing] Without you...
[Spongebob falls flat onto his face and begins to sob]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Spongebob: [walking to the krusty krab and remembering the conversation last nite] Hahahahahaha, taking him to the cleaners. That's a hot one!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Plankton: Don't you back-sass me!
'SpongeBob: : [mocking Plankton] Nyeh nyeh nyeh!
Plankton: WHAT?!
'SpongeBob: : [mocking Plankton] Nyeh nyeh nyeh!
Plankton: WHAT?!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: All this preparation is making me hungry.
Plankton: Me too! You know what would really hit the spot? Why don't you whip us up a couple of Krabby Patties?
SpongeBob: Mmm, I’m kind of in the mood for tacos.
Plankton: [chuckles] Good one, SpongeBob. But really, go ahead and make us some patties.
Plankton: Me too! You know what would really hit the spot? Why don't you whip us up a couple of Krabby Patties?
SpongeBob: Mmm, I’m kind of in the mood for tacos.
Plankton: [chuckles] Good one, SpongeBob. But really, go ahead and make us some patties.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Plankton: SpongeBob, come in here! Or should I say RobotBob....Sponge...ChefPants... I put the brain in the robot, you know.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: [dazed after a giant wrench falls on his head] Where's the leak, ma'am?
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[Frankendoodle rolls bowling ball at Patrick]
Patrick: AAAHHHHHH!!!!!
[Ball hits Patrick, Patrick falls in hole, and a X comes on screen]
[Ball falls into hole and hits Patrick again. 2nd X comes on screen]
SpongeBob: You okay, Patrick?
Patrick: [after subsequently being hit by a bowling ball] FINLAND!
Patrick: AAAHHHHHH!!!!!
[Ball hits Patrick, Patrick falls in hole, and a X comes on screen]
[Ball falls into hole and hits Patrick again. 2nd X comes on screen]
SpongeBob: You okay, Patrick?
Patrick: [after subsequently being hit by a bowling ball] FINLAND!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: He's hideous! He makes me sick just looking at him! Those big bulgy eyes, that square body, those two buck teeth, AND THAT STUPID TIE!
[SpongeBob awkwardly clears his throat]
Patrick: [blushing] Oh, but it looks good on you, SpongeBob!
[SpongeBob awkwardly clears his throat]
Patrick: [blushing] Oh, but it looks good on you, SpongeBob!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: It's a jellyfish!
Patrick: Pretty good, SpongeBob, but its lacking basic construction, and your perspective leaves a lot to be desired.
SpongeBob: Huh! Everybody's a critic.
Patrick: SpongeBob! Your drawing's coming to life!
SpongeBob: Now, that's more like it Mr. Critic.
Patrick: No! I mean it's swimming away!
SpongeBob: Do you know what this means Patrick?
Patrick: Your art can never hang in a museum.
Patrick: Pretty good, SpongeBob, but its lacking basic construction, and your perspective leaves a lot to be desired.
SpongeBob: Huh! Everybody's a critic.
Patrick: SpongeBob! Your drawing's coming to life!
SpongeBob: Now, that's more like it Mr. Critic.
Patrick: No! I mean it's swimming away!
SpongeBob: Do you know what this means Patrick?
Patrick: Your art can never hang in a museum.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: Now all I need is a magic mustache, and all my dreams will have come true.
SpongeBob: Coming right up! [draws a mustache on Patrick]
Patrick: Life is good!
[The mustache flies away]
Patrick: Easy come, easy go.
SpongeBob: Coming right up! [draws a mustache on Patrick]
Patrick: Life is good!
[The mustache flies away]
Patrick: Easy come, easy go.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[The magic mustache flies into the room and settles onto the top of Squidward's head]
Squidward: AH! UGLINESS!
Squidward: AH! UGLINESS!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: He's putting down the pencil! This is our chance! On the count of three, we'll jump out and surprise him!
Patrick: Oh boy, a surprise party! Is it his birthday?
[DoodleBob crashes through the wall and grabs SpongeBob]
Spongebob: Patrick! Patrick! Do something!
Patrick: Happy Birthday!
[DoodleBob tosses Spongebob to the side. Patrick presents a rock to DoodleBob]
Patrick: Here's your present!
[DoodleBob takes the rock and hits Patrick on the head]
Patrick: [woozily] You're welcome.
Patrick: Oh boy, a surprise party! Is it his birthday?
[DoodleBob crashes through the wall and grabs SpongeBob]
Spongebob: Patrick! Patrick! Do something!
Patrick: Happy Birthday!
[DoodleBob tosses Spongebob to the side. Patrick presents a rock to DoodleBob]
Patrick: Here's your present!
[DoodleBob takes the rock and hits Patrick on the head]
Patrick: [woozily] You're welcome.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: [snickers evilly] Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Good thing he didn't pull the secret string opening the... [pulls string] ...secret compartment of my secret box, revealing one embarrassing snapshot of SpongeBob at the Christmas party! Hahahahahahahaha! Merry Christmas, SpongeBob!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: What could be in that box that Patrick doesn't want me to see? Maybe it's the world's only albino jellyfish... or maybe Patrick's a master jewel thief and it's full of diamonds. [nervously] Or maybe Patrick's a deranged maniac who keeps his victim's severed heads in a box! Or even worse...maybe it's an embarrassing picture of me at the Christmas party! AHHHHHHHH!!!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma. [thought bubble above shows a live-action milk carton being spilt]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: It's no secret that the best thing about a secret, is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby secretly adding another secret to their secret collection of secrets, secretly... [Patrick drools and his brain starts sparking]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: So, it's come to this. And to think, we joined the "Best Friends Forever Club."
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Spongebob: [during his secrets-rant] ....i like dancing during loading zone announcements....
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: Listen up, SpongeBob Secret Stealer Pants! If you ever come near my secret box, we won't be friends anymore!
SpongeBob: [with giant puppy-dog eyes] But...we're supposed to be...friends forever!
SpongeBob: [with giant puppy-dog eyes] But...we're supposed to be...friends forever!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants