SpongeBob SquarePants Quotes
Officer Nancy: Good work, SpongeBob. You put the Strangler behind bars.
Strangler: At least I'm safe from that yellow idiot. (Patrick is in the same cell as the Strangler)
Patrick: Hey, Mac, what're you in for?
Strangler: At least I'm safe from that yellow idiot. (Patrick is in the same cell as the Strangler)
Patrick: Hey, Mac, what're you in for?
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[SpongeBob and Patrick are fighting over the invisible paint, they accidentally make their clothes disappear]
Patrick: Hey, the invisible spray works!
Tom: [drives the tour bus up right next to them] And on your right if you look, you'll see two naked guys fighting over a can of spray paint! [the passengers laugh as the bus drives away]
SpongeBob: AAH! Oh my gosh, Patrick, help me find our clothes! [starts to search through the dirt]
Patrick: [sprays Spongebob's hand and laughs] I gotta hand it to you, SpongeBob, you look kind of funny!
SpongeBob: [screams] Righty, where are you!? [Patrick laughs off-screen] No one messes with Righty! [takes the spraypaint from Patrick with his invisible hand] We'll see how you like it! [sprays a big hole in his stomach] Kinda gives you an empty feeling, doesn't it?
Patrick: [takes back the paint] Yeah. [erases the top right hand corner of SpongeBob's head, along with his eye] I see what you mean!
SpongeBob: [erases Patrick's crotch] No guts, no glory! [laughs]
Narrator: Several bad puns later...
Patrick: Hey, the invisible spray works!
Tom: [drives the tour bus up right next to them] And on your right if you look, you'll see two naked guys fighting over a can of spray paint! [the passengers laugh as the bus drives away]
SpongeBob: AAH! Oh my gosh, Patrick, help me find our clothes! [starts to search through the dirt]
Patrick: [sprays Spongebob's hand and laughs] I gotta hand it to you, SpongeBob, you look kind of funny!
SpongeBob: [screams] Righty, where are you!? [Patrick laughs off-screen] No one messes with Righty! [takes the spraypaint from Patrick with his invisible hand] We'll see how you like it! [sprays a big hole in his stomach] Kinda gives you an empty feeling, doesn't it?
Patrick: [takes back the paint] Yeah. [erases the top right hand corner of SpongeBob's head, along with his eye] I see what you mean!
SpongeBob: [erases Patrick's crotch] No guts, no glory! [laughs]
Narrator: Several bad puns later...
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Wow, invisible spray!
Patrick: [looking confused] But I can see it
Patrick: [looking confused] But I can see it
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Random Bikini Bottomite: Ghosts!
Fred: Ghosts!
Random Bikini Bottomite: Ghosts!
Random Bikini Bottomite: Ghosts!
Random Bikini Bottomite: (with a piece of toast) Toast!
Harold: (in his toilet) Ghosts!
Fred: Ghosts!
Random Bikini Bottomite: Ghosts!
Random Bikini Bottomite: Ghosts!
Random Bikini Bottomite: (with a piece of toast) Toast!
Harold: (in his toilet) Ghosts!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: We're not ghosts! The nerve of that guy and his driving eyeballs!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Spongebob: Patrick!
Patrick: Yeah?
Spongebob: We should have bought the whoopie cushion!
Patrick: Yeah?
Spongebob: We should have bought the whoopie cushion!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[After so many days running 24 hours]
Mr. Krabs: Day...uh, anyone know how many days it's been? I lost track.
Squidward: [wheezes] 43.
Mr. Krabs: Day...uh, anyone know how many days it's been? I lost track.
Squidward: [wheezes] 43.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Plankton: Okay, I say a word, and you say the first word that pops in your head.
SpongeBob: Okay!
Plankton: Work.
SpongeBob: Work.
Plankton: Spatula.
SpongeBob: Spatula.
Plankton: [annoyed] Bun.
SpongeBob: Bun.
Plankton: See, the key is to say something different than what I say.
SpongeBob: Ooh, I get it.
Plankton: Tomato.
SpongeBob: Tamotto.
Plankton: Potato.
SpongeBob: Patotto.
Plankton: .......
SpongeBob: Okay!
Plankton: Work.
SpongeBob: Work.
Plankton: Spatula.
SpongeBob: Spatula.
Plankton: [annoyed] Bun.
SpongeBob: Bun.
Plankton: See, the key is to say something different than what I say.
SpongeBob: Ooh, I get it.
Plankton: Tomato.
SpongeBob: Tamotto.
Plankton: Potato.
SpongeBob: Patotto.
Plankton: .......
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[In SpongeBob's dream]
Krabby Patty: [points at SpongeBob's chest] I'll always be with you right here.
SpongeBob: In my heart?
Krabby Patty: Actually, in your arteries.
Krabby Patty: [points at SpongeBob's chest] I'll always be with you right here.
SpongeBob: In my heart?
Krabby Patty: Actually, in your arteries.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[When SpongeBob is cured]
Plankton: What about the formula???
SpongeBob: You're right, I gotta go back to work.
Plankton: Wait! Come back! Therapy doesn't work. You're still sick! Very very sick!
Plankton: What about the formula???
SpongeBob: You're right, I gotta go back to work.
Plankton: Wait! Come back! Therapy doesn't work. You're still sick! Very very sick!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[SpongeBob fills up Gary's food bowl, then realizes Gary is nowhere in the house]
SpongeBob: Gary? Hey, Pat?
Patrick: Yeah, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: How long was I playing the Dirty Bubble Challenge?
Patrick: About a week.
SpongeBob: A week?! Are you sure?
Patrick: [studying his glass of seahorse milk] Hmmmm...well... [shakes his glass; his milk comes sliding out in one solidified white blob. Patrick sniffs at the blob, then eats it. He pulls a hideous face, then quickly reverts to his usual impassive self] Yeah, I'd say about a week, maybe ten days.
SpongeBob: Gary? Hey, Pat?
Patrick: Yeah, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: How long was I playing the Dirty Bubble Challenge?
Patrick: About a week.
SpongeBob: A week?! Are you sure?
Patrick: [studying his glass of seahorse milk] Hmmmm...well... [shakes his glass; his milk comes sliding out in one solidified white blob. Patrick sniffs at the blob, then eats it. He pulls a hideous face, then quickly reverts to his usual impassive self] Yeah, I'd say about a week, maybe ten days.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[SpongeBob reads the goodbye note that Gary has left him. The note being nothing but scraps and doodles.]
SpongeBob: "Dear SpongeBob: These last few years have been some of the best of my life, but I must move on. Don't come looking for me. I know I'll probably have found a new owner who actually remembers to fill up my food bowl every now and again. Sincerely, Gary--or, at least until my new owner renames me." Dear Neptune, what have I done?
Patrick: Whaddya mean? You drove him away! It's right there in black and white! [points to various sections of Gary's letter] See, right there. And there.
SpongeBob: "Dear SpongeBob: These last few years have been some of the best of my life, but I must move on. Don't come looking for me. I know I'll probably have found a new owner who actually remembers to fill up my food bowl every now and again. Sincerely, Gary--or, at least until my new owner renames me." Dear Neptune, what have I done?
Patrick: Whaddya mean? You drove him away! It's right there in black and white! [points to various sections of Gary's letter] See, right there. And there.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[Gary sees the fliers SpongeBob and Patrick have been posting all over town, and realizes that SpongeBob wants him back]
SpongeBob: [in Gary's mind] Gary, please come back to me!
[Gary starts crawling towards his old home]
SpongeBob: [continued] Go, boy! Go!
SpongeBob: [in Gary's mind] Gary, please come back to me!
[Gary starts crawling towards his old home]
SpongeBob: [continued] Go, boy! Go!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[Gary is about to feast on a discarded box of nachos, when he suddenly finds himself surrounded by a menacing-looking gang of stray snails]
Gang Leader: Look who came to dinner!
[Gary panicks and flees at once]
Random Snail: Guess he doesn't like nachos.
Gang Leader: Look who came to dinner!
[Gary panicks and flees at once]
Random Snail: Guess he doesn't like nachos.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: AAAAAAHHHHHH! IT'S THE APOCALYPSE! OFFICE PRODUCTS FALLING FROM THE SKY!!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: SpongeBob! I just remembered! Back at the craft store, I saw...!! These huge chunks of balsa wood! They were AWESOME!
SpongeBob: [sobbing] GARY LOVED BALSA WOOD!
SpongeBob: [sobbing] GARY LOVED BALSA WOOD!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Carl: Hey fellas! What's going on over here?
Squidward: Oh, hey Carl! I was just reminding Eugene about article 24, section 3 of the Employee Handbook!
Carl: Cut the chatter, and pick up a platter. Good job, Squidward!
Mr. Krabs: What've you done with the real Squidward?!
Carl: The less you know Eugene, the better!
Squidward: Oh, hey Carl! I was just reminding Eugene about article 24, section 3 of the Employee Handbook!
Carl: Cut the chatter, and pick up a platter. Good job, Squidward!
Mr. Krabs: What've you done with the real Squidward?!
Carl: The less you know Eugene, the better!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Carl: Now, you wouldn't want to talk to human resources, [a big hitman appears in the doorway] would ya? What's our motto again?
Squidward: [frightened] Uh-uh... Sincere Service... [slaps himself and dons a large smile] WITH A SMILE!
Squidward: [frightened] Uh-uh... Sincere Service... [slaps himself and dons a large smile] WITH A SMILE!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what happened to the krabby patties?
SpongeBob: I tried to tell them, BUT THEY WOULDN'T LISTEN TO ME!!
SpongeBob: I tried to tell them, BUT THEY WOULDN'T LISTEN TO ME!!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mr. Krabs: [seeing Krabby Patties being processed on a conveyor belt] This is obscene!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mr. Blandy: Mr. Krabs, is there a problem?
Mr. Krabs: You better believe there's a problem! I used to kiss the ground you walked on, Blandy, but after seeing this, I wouldn't even spit in your direction! Krabby Patties are supposed to be made by hand, one at a time! Not on a conveyor belt!
[An alarm sounds just then. Gray matter oozes out from beneath the closed kitchen door]
Carl: Oh my.
Mr. Krabs: You better believe there's a problem! I used to kiss the ground you walked on, Blandy, but after seeing this, I wouldn't even spit in your direction! Krabby Patties are supposed to be made by hand, one at a time! Not on a conveyor belt!
[An alarm sounds just then. Gray matter oozes out from beneath the closed kitchen door]
Carl: Oh my.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[While golfing during his retirement]
Mr. Krabs: Wait a minute. I hate golf!
Mr. Krabs: Wait a minute. I hate golf!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mr. Krabs: [walks over to woman eating synthesized Krabby Patty while holding the gray ooze behind his back] Excuse me, ma'am. Do you know what you're eating?
Woman: No.
Mr. Krabs: THIS!! [shows synthesized ooze]
Woman: [looks down into half eaten Krabby Patty] OH!!
Woman: No.
Mr. Krabs: THIS!! [shows synthesized ooze]
Woman: [looks down into half eaten Krabby Patty] OH!!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants