SpongeBob SquarePants Quotes
Guard: Right this way.
SpongeBob: Excuse me, but I believeth you meanteth to say, "Righteth this way-eth!"
Guard: [holds his spear up to his throat, gulps, then puts it down] Some day, but not today.
SpongeBob: Excuse me, but I believeth you meanteth to say, "Righteth this way-eth!"
Guard: [holds his spear up to his throat, gulps, then puts it down] Some day, but not today.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: [stomach growls] What does a guy have to do to get some mutton around here? I'm starving!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mr. Krabs: PLANKTON!
Plankton: KRABS!
Mrs. Krabs: EUGENE!
Mr. Krabs: Mommy?
Plankton: Mommy?!
SpongeBob: SpongeBob!
Mr. Krabs: SPONGEBOB!
Plankton: KRABS!
Mrs. Krabs: EUGENE!
Mr. Krabs: Mommy?
Plankton: Mommy?!
SpongeBob: SpongeBob!
Mr. Krabs: SPONGEBOB!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Plankton: This delectable creature is your mother?
Mr. Krabs: This no-good, conniving chizzler is your date?!
SpongeBob: And this devilishly handsome sponge is your waiter!
Mr. Krabs: SPONGEBOB!!!
Mr. Krabs: This no-good, conniving chizzler is your date?!
SpongeBob: And this devilishly handsome sponge is your waiter!
Mr. Krabs: SPONGEBOB!!!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Plankton: Excuse me! I can't reach my silverware!
SpongeBob: Terribly sorry, sir. [pulls out a smaller chair and table, places it on the big table, and puts Plankton into it] Will there be anything else?
Plankton: Is my tie on straight?
SpongeBob: You...look....FABULOUS!!!
SpongeBob: Terribly sorry, sir. [pulls out a smaller chair and table, places it on the big table, and puts Plankton into it] Will there be anything else?
Plankton: Is my tie on straight?
SpongeBob: You...look....FABULOUS!!!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mrs. Krabs: Oh, Sheldon.
Plankton: Oh, Mrs. Krabs. [snaps fingers]
Mr. Krabs: Oh, brother.
Plankton: Oh, Mrs. Krabs. [snaps fingers]
Mr. Krabs: Oh, brother.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[Mr. Krabs is taking Plankton out of the restaurant]
Mrs. Krabs: Eugene! Put my boyfriend down this instant!
[Mr. Krabs looks shocked]
Plankton: Boyfriend?
Mr. Krabs: But, Mommy.
Plankton: You heard the woman, Krabs. Put me down!
[Mr. Krabs drops Plankton into Mrs. Krabs' hand]
Plankton: That's more like it.
Mrs. Krabs: Eugene! Put my boyfriend down this instant!
[Mr. Krabs looks shocked]
Plankton: Boyfriend?
Mr. Krabs: But, Mommy.
Plankton: You heard the woman, Krabs. Put me down!
[Mr. Krabs drops Plankton into Mrs. Krabs' hand]
Plankton: That's more like it.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Plankton: Well, I'm in the food service, I'm a bit of a restauranteur. I'm the owner of the Chum Bucket.
Mrs. Krabs: Never heard of it.
Plankton: [looks shocked] It's across the street.
Mrs. Krabs: Doesn't ring a bell.
Plankton: [holds up a telephone directory] It's on the back of the phone book. Come on, I paid a lot of money for that ad! Never mind, never mind. So, tell me about you.
Mrs. Krabs: Never heard of it.
Plankton: [looks shocked] It's across the street.
Mrs. Krabs: Doesn't ring a bell.
Plankton: [holds up a telephone directory] It's on the back of the phone book. Come on, I paid a lot of money for that ad! Never mind, never mind. So, tell me about you.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: [to Squidward] May I suggest that on the seventh bar of the 'Adagio Andante' that you add a little fortissimo on the arpeggiated B flat scale.
Squidward: Wow, I never thought of doing it like that.
Patrick: That is because you rarely think.
Squidward: Wow, I never thought of doing it like that.
Patrick: That is because you rarely think.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: Knowledge can never replace friendship! I PREFER TO BE AN IDIOT!
SpongeBob: You're not just an idiot Patrick, you're also my pal!
SpongeBob: You're not just an idiot Patrick, you're also my pal!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Patrick! You're back!
Patrick: Patrick, you're back.
[They hug each other]
Patrick: Patrick, you're back.
[They hug each other]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: I'd like a Krabby Patty.
Squidward: This is a hotel now. If you want a Krabby Patty, you'll have to rent a room and order room service!
Patrick: OK! One Krabby Patty and one room. With cheese. Oh, and can I get more cheese on the Krabby Patty too?
Squidward: Patrick! You live 400 yards away, why would you want to rent a room?
Patrick: Sometimes I need to get away from it all.
Squidward: This is a hotel now. If you want a Krabby Patty, you'll have to rent a room and order room service!
Patrick: OK! One Krabby Patty and one room. With cheese. Oh, and can I get more cheese on the Krabby Patty too?
Squidward: Patrick! You live 400 yards away, why would you want to rent a room?
Patrick: Sometimes I need to get away from it all.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: First, you need to take my bags.
Squidward: How could you have bags? You just found out this was a hotel!
Patrick: This is a hotel?
Squidward: How could you have bags? You just found out this was a hotel!
Patrick: This is a hotel?
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mr Krabs: Wait! Don't you wanna spend your money?
Old Guy: Don't you wanna kiss the seat of my pants?
Old Guy: Don't you wanna kiss the seat of my pants?
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: [singing]
Mr. Sun came up and he smiled at me
He said, it's gonna be a good one just wait and see!
Jumped out of bed and I ran outside
Feeling so extra-ecstatticfied!
It's the best day ever!
Best day ever!
[On the first part, his house is on fire]
Mr. Sun came up and he smiled at me
He said, it's gonna be a good one just wait and see!
Jumped out of bed and I ran outside
Feeling so extra-ecstatticfied!
It's the best day ever!
Best day ever!
[On the first part, his house is on fire]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mr. Krabs: This elevator is for guests only. Take the employee elevator!
[Sqidward enters the employee elevator and discovers it's a large flight of steps]
[Sqidward enters the employee elevator and discovers it's a large flight of steps]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Squidward: [while carrying Patrick's suitcases] What's in these things? Rocks?
[Squidward drops the suitcases, which spring open. Several rocks fall out]
Squidward: Hey, these are rocks! Why is your suitcase full of rocks?
Patrick: I don't tell you how to live your life!
[Squidward drops the suitcases, which spring open. Several rocks fall out]
Squidward: Hey, these are rocks! Why is your suitcase full of rocks?
Patrick: I don't tell you how to live your life!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Kid Plankton: Get outta my FACE!
[He and Kid Krabs growl at each other]
[He and Kid Krabs growl at each other]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: Squidward, wait! I don't like crusts on my sandwich.
Squidward: That's a bun, it's all crust! How am I supposed to cut the crust of a bun?
Patrick: Peel it.
[Squidward peels the crust off of the Krabby Patty buns]
Squidward: Happy?
[Patrick gleefully enjoys his Krabby Patty]
Squidward: That's a bun, it's all crust! How am I supposed to cut the crust of a bun?
Patrick: Peel it.
[Squidward peels the crust off of the Krabby Patty buns]
Squidward: Happy?
[Patrick gleefully enjoys his Krabby Patty]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Squidward: I'd like a Krabby Patty with cheese, toenail clippings, and nose hairs.
SpongeBob: Yes, sir!
Squidward: And I'd like it here in five seconds.
[SpongeBob leaves and returns with a Krabby Patty]
SpongeBob: Here you are, sir!
Mr. Krabs: Well, you've got your stinky sandwich. Now eat it!
Squidward: Oh, I'm not going eat it! You are. [hands it to Mr. Krabs]
Mr. Krabs: Wha-? You're out of your mind if you think I'm gonna eat that!
SpongeBob: [whispers to Mr. Krabs] That's not really a Krabby Patty with cheese, toenail clippings, and nose hairs.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, I get you boy. [winks] All right, Squidward.
[Mr. Krabs bites into the patty, but sticks his tongue out in disgust. On it, there are toenail clippings and nose hairs]
SpongeBob: Sorry, Mr. Krabs. We were all out of cheese.
[Scene cuts to Patrick's room which is coated with cheese]
Patrick: Hooray!
SpongeBob: Yes, sir!
Squidward: And I'd like it here in five seconds.
[SpongeBob leaves and returns with a Krabby Patty]
SpongeBob: Here you are, sir!
Mr. Krabs: Well, you've got your stinky sandwich. Now eat it!
Squidward: Oh, I'm not going eat it! You are. [hands it to Mr. Krabs]
Mr. Krabs: Wha-? You're out of your mind if you think I'm gonna eat that!
SpongeBob: [whispers to Mr. Krabs] That's not really a Krabby Patty with cheese, toenail clippings, and nose hairs.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, I get you boy. [winks] All right, Squidward.
[Mr. Krabs bites into the patty, but sticks his tongue out in disgust. On it, there are toenail clippings and nose hairs]
SpongeBob: Sorry, Mr. Krabs. We were all out of cheese.
[Scene cuts to Patrick's room which is coated with cheese]
Patrick: Hooray!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Squidward: This room is hideous. Redesign it! Neptune XIV would be nice.
[Many designs later]
Squidward: Perfect!
Mr. Krabs: This room is exactly the same as when we started!
Squidward: Nothing like getting back to the basics.
[Many designs later]
Squidward: Perfect!
Mr. Krabs: This room is exactly the same as when we started!
Squidward: Nothing like getting back to the basics.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[Towards the end of the episode, Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward wind up in the hospital. Mr. Krabs is alarmed to see at how high their medical bill is]
Mr. Krabs: FIFTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS?!!!
Squidward: You're not going to have a heart attack, are you?
Mr. Krabs: Not at these prices! Forget hotels, this hospital wreck's where the money is!
Patrick: This is a hospital?
Mr. Krabs: Pack your bags, boys! You're going to medical school!
Patrick & SpongeBob: Hooray!
Squidward: Oh, boy...
Mr. Krabs: FIFTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS?!!!
Squidward: You're not going to have a heart attack, are you?
Mr. Krabs: Not at these prices! Forget hotels, this hospital wreck's where the money is!
Patrick: This is a hospital?
Mr. Krabs: Pack your bags, boys! You're going to medical school!
Patrick & SpongeBob: Hooray!
Squidward: Oh, boy...
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Sergeant Roderick: [smashes through the door] Hello, worthless students! [SpongeBob shivers in fear] I'm your new instructor. [smashes Mrs. Puff's nametag] No one's ever failed my class, that's lived through it. I can assure you these next four weeks will be the worst years of your miserable lives. Your spines will break, your teeth will ache, your eyes will be bloodshot! [students groan in discomfort] You will drive out of this school in style, or you will be carted out in your granny's handbasket. Everyone will follow the rules of the class. First rule: No talking!
Student #1: [raises hand] Does that mean-
[Sergeant Roderick grabs student by the head and tosses him through a wooden door]
Sergeant Roderick: Second rule: No eating in my class. [takes out a box of chocolates] Would anyone care for a bon-bon?
Student #2: Uh, I'll eat one... [raises hand, all other students gasp]
Sergeant Roderick: Pick your favorite. [The student picks up a bon-bon, slurps it up with his tongue and chews] How's it taste...?
Student #2: It's a delightful taste sensation-
Sergeant Roderick: [grabs the student by the head and runs forward] NO EATING IN MY CLASSROOM! [throws the student through yet another wooden door] Now, if anyone else is man enough to stay in this class... [all the students flee, laving SpongeBob alone] Looks like you're the man... Sponge!
SpongeBob: I-I am?
Student #1: [raises hand] Does that mean-
[Sergeant Roderick grabs student by the head and tosses him through a wooden door]
Sergeant Roderick: Second rule: No eating in my class. [takes out a box of chocolates] Would anyone care for a bon-bon?
Student #2: Uh, I'll eat one... [raises hand, all other students gasp]
Sergeant Roderick: Pick your favorite. [The student picks up a bon-bon, slurps it up with his tongue and chews] How's it taste...?
Student #2: It's a delightful taste sensation-
Sergeant Roderick: [grabs the student by the head and runs forward] NO EATING IN MY CLASSROOM! [throws the student through yet another wooden door] Now, if anyone else is man enough to stay in this class... [all the students flee, laving SpongeBob alone] Looks like you're the man... Sponge!
SpongeBob: I-I am?
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants