SpongeBob SquarePants Quotes
Patrick: Where am I? What happened? Oh yeah, the party. I must have passed out in SpongeBob's kitchen, on the ceiling. See, SpongeBob? I told you we shouldn't stay up past 8: 30, things get real crazy after 8: 30. [has a flashback of last night's tea party] She really knows how to pound 'em down huh, SpongeBob... SpongeBob? [notices SpongeBob snoring with a donut in his hand] That's a good lookin' donut.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mr Krabs: Is this some kind of joke!? Where's that gas tank?
[Song starts]
SpongeBob: A song? To sing a song? A song of wanting to move along
To a land where all our dreee--
[Falls to the floor low song stops]
SpongeBob: Sorry.
[Song starts]
SpongeBob: A song? To sing a song? A song of wanting to move along
To a land where all our dreee--
[Falls to the floor low song stops]
SpongeBob: Sorry.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Bye, Squidward! Bye, Mr. Krabs! [sounding flirtatious] Bye, Squidward.
Patrick: You said "Bye Squidward" twice.
SpongeBob: I like Squidward.
Patrick: You said "Bye Squidward" twice.
SpongeBob: I like Squidward.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: I think I fell on a rock! [shows a sharp, jagged rock in the back of his head]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Plankton: Hello, little one! Would you like a Chum Burger?
Little Kid: Uh...does it come in raspberry?
Plankton: Umm...no...
Little Kid: Blueberry...?
Plankton: No.
Little Kid: Uhmmmmmmm...raspberry?
Plankton: Aw, c'mon kid! You already said that! Quit wasting my time!
Little Kid's Mother: Hey, you can't talk to my son that way! Who do you think you are?!
Plankton: I'm Plankton, ya old hag, and your son smells like boogers!
Husband: Hey, don't talk to my wife like that! What do you think this is?!
Plankton: Looks like it's time for you to lose some weight, fatty! That's what it is!
Husband's Grandmother: You can't talk to my grandson like that! Someone ought to put you in a mental institution!
Plankton: Someone should put you in a box floating down the river, grandma!
Husband's Grandmother: You're probably right...
Plankton: You people are crazy! I'm gettin' outta here! [people begin throwing rocks at him] Hey!
Little Kid: Uh...does it come in raspberry?
Plankton: Umm...no...
Little Kid: Blueberry...?
Plankton: No.
Little Kid: Uhmmmmmmm...raspberry?
Plankton: Aw, c'mon kid! You already said that! Quit wasting my time!
Little Kid's Mother: Hey, you can't talk to my son that way! Who do you think you are?!
Plankton: I'm Plankton, ya old hag, and your son smells like boogers!
Husband: Hey, don't talk to my wife like that! What do you think this is?!
Plankton: Looks like it's time for you to lose some weight, fatty! That's what it is!
Husband's Grandmother: You can't talk to my grandson like that! Someone ought to put you in a mental institution!
Plankton: Someone should put you in a box floating down the river, grandma!
Husband's Grandmother: You're probably right...
Plankton: You people are crazy! I'm gettin' outta here! [people begin throwing rocks at him] Hey!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: [after he reveals he doesn't wash his hands, much to the chagrin of Spongebob] You... [writes a "U" on a brick wall with mud] are... [writes an "R"] how do you spell "Notmyfriend"?
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Squidward: [to Mr. Krabs] Did you get any of Patrick's gold?
Mr. Krabs: He's not digging for any gold I'm looking for!
Mr. Krabs: He's not digging for any gold I'm looking for!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: [as doctor, inspecting SpongeBob's thumb which has a splinter in it] Well, here's your problem! Don't worry, buddy. We're gonna make
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: [sprays dirt with a water hose then dips SpongeBob who is sun bleached and horribly dry, into a puddle of mud, wipes the mud away from his eyes, puts two slabs of jerky for SpongeBob's buck teeth, then rips out his own armpit hair] AAHHHH!! AAH-AHH-AAAHH!! [instantly turns calm, then places the armpit hair onto SpongeBob's head, then gives SpongeBob a mirror] See?
SpongeBob: [screams, horrified] I...look... [adoring voice] amaaaziiing.
SpongeBob: [screams, horrified] I...look... [adoring voice] amaaaziiing.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: [about Squidward's kelp flowers, with a soft tone] They're preeeeeeettyyy! [Squidward shrieks]
Squidward: Patrick!
SpongeBob: And SpongeBob!
Squidward: What are you two doing here?
SpongeBob: Patrick is helping me to do good deeds today, like trimming your kelp garden! [points to Patrick, who takes a large bite out of the kelp, then burps]
Squidward: [Yells]Stop eating my kelp![shoves Patrick and SpongeBob]
Patrick: Okay, okay, geez! I try to help a fellow out. I'll just have to eat this ice cream cone instead!
Squidward: Oh! Do you like to eat ice cream, Patrick?
Patrick: Hmmmmmm...yeah.
Squidward: Then have some more! [sprays the ice cream]
Patrick: [falls over when the ice cream gets bigger] Whoa! Oof!
Squidward: Ha, ha, ha! Still want that ice cream?
Patrick: Boy I do! Thanks, Squidward! Want some, SpongeBob? Last one to the cone is a rotten clam!
Squidward: Patrick!
SpongeBob: And SpongeBob!
Squidward: What are you two doing here?
SpongeBob: Patrick is helping me to do good deeds today, like trimming your kelp garden! [points to Patrick, who takes a large bite out of the kelp, then burps]
Squidward: [Yells]Stop eating my kelp![shoves Patrick and SpongeBob]
Patrick: Okay, okay, geez! I try to help a fellow out. I'll just have to eat this ice cream cone instead!
Squidward: Oh! Do you like to eat ice cream, Patrick?
Patrick: Hmmmmmm...yeah.
Squidward: Then have some more! [sprays the ice cream]
Patrick: [falls over when the ice cream gets bigger] Whoa! Oof!
Squidward: Ha, ha, ha! Still want that ice cream?
Patrick: Boy I do! Thanks, Squidward! Want some, SpongeBob? Last one to the cone is a rotten clam!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Squidward: [to SpongeBob and Patrick] HEY! Look at what you did to me! You better fix my nose, or you'll hear from my lawyer!
SpongeBob: Are you sure?
Patrick: Yeah! You'll be ugly again!
SpongeBob: Are you sure?
Patrick: Yeah! You'll be ugly again!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Good deed accomplished! I ask for no reward.
Patrick: You're a saint, SpongeBob! A SAINT!
SpongeBob: I know, and it is a burden I must carry.
Patrick: You're a saint, SpongeBob! A SAINT!
SpongeBob: I know, and it is a burden I must carry.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[Looking for Squidward in a crowd of squids]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Are you Squidward?
Squid #1: No.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Are you Squidward?
Squid #2: No.
Patrick: [to a fire hydrant] Are you Squidward? [silence]
Patrick: It's okay. Take your time.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Are you Squidward?
Squid #1: No.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Are you Squidward?
Squid #2: No.
Patrick: [to a fire hydrant] Are you Squidward? [silence]
Patrick: It's okay. Take your time.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[repeated line]
SpongeBob SquarePants: I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready.
SpongeBob SquarePants: I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[SpongeBob appears on the horizon]
Sandy Cheeks: Here, Patrick. Have a Krabby Patty. [whispers]
Sandy Cheeks: Psst. There he is Patrick, say your line.
Patrick: [picks up paper] Why thank you, Sandy. Take Patty. Too bad SpongeBob isn't here to enjoy this. These are his favorite. [on the verge of tears]
Patrick: Take bite.
Sandy Cheeks: Here, Patrick. Have a Krabby Patty. [whispers]
Sandy Cheeks: Psst. There he is Patrick, say your line.
Patrick: [picks up paper] Why thank you, Sandy. Take Patty. Too bad SpongeBob isn't here to enjoy this. These are his favorite. [on the verge of tears]
Patrick: Take bite.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[SpongeBob has a jellyfish on a leash]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hey, Squidward. Meet my new pet.
Squidward: That's no pet. That's a wild animal.
SpongeBob SquarePants: No he isn't. He can do tricks. [Throwing a stick]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Fetch! [Jellyfish fetches stick]
SpongeBob SquarePants: [holding up three fingers] How many fingers am I holding up? [Jellyfish buzzes three times]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Play dead! [Jellyfish is buried under a tombstone, then comes out]
Squidward: I wouldn't let that thing in my house even if it was potty-trained. [Jellyfish is sitting on a toilet, reading the newspaper and humming]
Squidward: I didn't need to see that.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hey, Squidward. Meet my new pet.
Squidward: That's no pet. That's a wild animal.
SpongeBob SquarePants: No he isn't. He can do tricks. [Throwing a stick]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Fetch! [Jellyfish fetches stick]
SpongeBob SquarePants: [holding up three fingers] How many fingers am I holding up? [Jellyfish buzzes three times]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Play dead! [Jellyfish is buried under a tombstone, then comes out]
Squidward: I wouldn't let that thing in my house even if it was potty-trained. [Jellyfish is sitting on a toilet, reading the newspaper and humming]
Squidward: I didn't need to see that.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[Squidward speaks unintelligable words]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Squidward, we already played Babble Like an Idiot.
Squidward: Why are you still here?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Well, since we finished everything on the list, I thought I'd make a new one. I've already filled this book with ideas. We should be able to finish by January
Squidward: Forget the book! I spent the whole day with you, doing all kinds of ridiculous things, because you were SUPPOSED TO EXPLODE!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Why would I do that?
Squidward: Because the pie you ate was a bomb!
SpongeBob SquarePants: What pie?
Squidward: The one I left sitting on the counter this morning! That I bought from the pirates for 25 bucks, and I didn't know it was a bomb. That pie!
SpongeBob SquarePants: A pie? Oh, you mean this pie. I was saving it in my pocket for us to share. [trips]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oops. [pie lands on Squidward's face and causes big explosion]
Squidward: Ouch.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Squidward, we already played Babble Like an Idiot.
Squidward: Why are you still here?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Well, since we finished everything on the list, I thought I'd make a new one. I've already filled this book with ideas. We should be able to finish by January
Squidward: Forget the book! I spent the whole day with you, doing all kinds of ridiculous things, because you were SUPPOSED TO EXPLODE!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Why would I do that?
Squidward: Because the pie you ate was a bomb!
SpongeBob SquarePants: What pie?
Squidward: The one I left sitting on the counter this morning! That I bought from the pirates for 25 bucks, and I didn't know it was a bomb. That pie!
SpongeBob SquarePants: A pie? Oh, you mean this pie. I was saving it in my pocket for us to share. [trips]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oops. [pie lands on Squidward's face and causes big explosion]
Squidward: Ouch.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[Talking about the advantages of being felons]
SpongeBob SquarePants: And you get to talk tough. [gruff voice]
SpongeBob SquarePants: This town ain't big enough for the two of us.
Patrick: Let me try. Uh... hey, punk.
SpongeBob SquarePants: And you get to talk tough. [gruff voice]
SpongeBob SquarePants: This town ain't big enough for the two of us.
Patrick: Let me try. Uh... hey, punk.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mermaid Man: Now, who wants to save the world?
SpongeBob: I do!
Patrick: I do!
Sandy Cheeks: I do!
Squidward: I don't.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, yes you do, no world means no money, so either save the world, or you're fired! [Squidward sighs]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mermaid Man: That guy over there used to be the Atomic Flounder. I know he doesn't look like much now, but he could go back to crime [snaps fingers]
Mermaid Man: just like that [Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy chuckle; SpongeBob suddenly tackles the Atomic Flounder]
Atomic Flounder: Help, somebody there!
SpongeBob: You're under arrest, Atomic Flounder!
Mermaid Man: No, lad! Don't!
SpongeBob: But you said he could turn back to crime [snaps fingers]
SpongeBob: like that.
Atomic Flounder: What? Get off me! If I weren't retired I'd... I'd... Roar! [Breathes radiation on Barnacle Boy's face, burning it]
Atomic Flounder: ... do that.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mr. Krabs: [Attempting to convince SpongeBob to give him a hat] I didn't want to tell you this in front of Patrick, but that hat makes you look like a girl.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Am I a pretty girl?
Mr. Krabs: Well... yes, you're... you're beautiful. [Mailman passing by stares at Mr. Krabs in disgust]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mr. Krabs: [Mr Krabs has put a Krabby Patty out to tempt Plankton, but it's still on the table when Plankton and Spongebob leave] Well, maybe the lad's right. Maybe Plankton HAS gone straight. [the Krabby patty falls over, revealing that it has been replaced with a cardboard cutout]
Mr. Krabs: And maybe scallops'll fly outta me pants!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mr. Krabs: [SpongeBob is ready to finish for the day, points to Squidward holding a bag of trash] Take that pile of filth out with you
SpongeBob SquarePants: [gasps] Mr. Krabs! You shouldn't talk about Squidward like that!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mr. Krabs: Attention all employees! Just giving you a heads-up. I'll be conducting a surprise uniform inspection in one hour. Whoever doesn't pass gets the boot. [Pulls out a boot]
Mr. Krabs: This boot to be exact. It's very stinky, and you have to wear it all day.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward! What the halibut is going on?
Squidward: It's a feeding frenzy, Mr. Krabs, and SpongeBob is still not back from his break. [Mr. Krabs laughs]
Squidward: What?
Mr. Krabs: I thought you said SpongeBob was taking a break. No one has taken a break in the Krusty Krab since the chum famine of '59. Now, what was that you said?
Squidward: He took a break. [Mr. Krabs stands shocked for a moment; his claws and nose fall off]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants