SpongeBob SquarePants Quotes
Mr. Krabs: The hooks, me bucko. They're back. Beware the hooks.
SpongeBob: The hooks?
Mr. Krabs: AYE, the hooks. They dangle down and draw you close with their pleasing shapes and beguiling colors, and just when you think you've found the land of milk and honey, they grab ya by the britches, and haul you way up high, and higher, and higher, and HIGHER, until you're hauled up to the surface, flopping and gasping for breath! And then they cook ya, and then they eat ya--or worse!
SpongeBob: [terrified] What could be worse than that?
Mr. Krabs: [softly] Gift shops.
SpongeBob: The hooks?
Mr. Krabs: AYE, the hooks. They dangle down and draw you close with their pleasing shapes and beguiling colors, and just when you think you've found the land of milk and honey, they grab ya by the britches, and haul you way up high, and higher, and higher, and HIGHER, until you're hauled up to the surface, flopping and gasping for breath! And then they cook ya, and then they eat ya--or worse!
SpongeBob: [terrified] What could be worse than that?
Mr. Krabs: [softly] Gift shops.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: Are you gonna listen to a big dummy, or are you gonna listen to me?
SpongeBob: Uhh...
SpongeBob: Uhh...
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: Good morning, Krusty Crew!
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick!
Patrick: Guess what? The carnival's in town! Come on, let's go!
SpongeBob: I can't leave now, I'm working.
Patrick: It's not leaving. You're just taking a break.
[SpongeBob grins and slithers silently out of the Krusty Krab kitchen to join Patrick]
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick!
Patrick: Guess what? The carnival's in town! Come on, let's go!
SpongeBob: I can't leave now, I'm working.
Patrick: It's not leaving. You're just taking a break.
[SpongeBob grins and slithers silently out of the Krusty Krab kitchen to join Patrick]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[The customers get angry and start yelling at Squidward]
Tom: COME ON! HURRY UP! WE'RE STARVING OUT HERE, I MEAN LOOK AT US! MY KIDS HAVEN'T EATEN IN DAYS. [in the kitchen] THAT'S NOT HOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO FLIP IT!
Squidward: WHY DO YOU PEOPLE WANT TO EAT THIS STUFF ANYWAY?!
Tom: COME ON! HURRY UP! WE'RE STARVING OUT HERE, I MEAN LOOK AT US! MY KIDS HAVEN'T EATEN IN DAYS. [in the kitchen] THAT'S NOT HOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO FLIP IT!
Squidward: WHY DO YOU PEOPLE WANT TO EAT THIS STUFF ANYWAY?!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: I'm ugly and I'm proud! I'm ugly and I'm proud! I'm ugly and I'm proud!
Squidward: Is that what he calls it?
Squidward: Is that what he calls it?
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: What is wrong with you people?! Afraid to look ugliness in the face?! [picks up SpongeBob and starts waving him around] Well, HERE! LOOK AT IT! IT'S UGLY, ISN'T IT?! [waves SpongeBob at one group of people]YOU LOOK AT IT!
SpongeBob: Hello.
[Group runs off after smelling his breath]
Patrick: [waves SpongeBob at another group]YOU LOOK AT IT!
SpongeBob: Hi.
[Second group follows suit]
Patrick: [waves him at the entire audience] LOOK AT IT!
[Audience runs off]
Patrick: LOOK AT IT! LOOK AT IT! LOOK AT IT! I WANT ALL OF YOU TO LOOK AT IT!!
SpongeBob: Hello.
[Group runs off after smelling his breath]
Patrick: [waves SpongeBob at another group]YOU LOOK AT IT!
SpongeBob: Hi.
[Second group follows suit]
Patrick: [waves him at the entire audience] LOOK AT IT!
[Audience runs off]
Patrick: LOOK AT IT! LOOK AT IT! LOOK AT IT! I WANT ALL OF YOU TO LOOK AT IT!!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Stop, Patrick! Don't touch it! This isn't the carnival, Patrick, those are hooks! Mr. Krabs said they're really dangerous!
Patrick: [sits on a hook's barbed end to think about it, then smiles] I sense no danger here. How could they be dangerous? They're covered with free cheese!
SpongeBob: All I know is Mr. Krabs said-- Patrick, don't do that!
[Patrick eats a block of cheese straight off a hook]
Patrick: Mmmmm...cheesy.
Patrick: [sits on a hook's barbed end to think about it, then smiles] I sense no danger here. How could they be dangerous? They're covered with free cheese!
SpongeBob: All I know is Mr. Krabs said-- Patrick, don't do that!
[Patrick eats a block of cheese straight off a hook]
Patrick: Mmmmm...cheesy.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Patrick, don't!
Patrick: Lighten up, will ya? Or do I have to eat all this cheese by myse-- Whoaaah!
[Suddenly the hook Patrick is holding onto jerks into the air, taking Patrick up towards the surface]
SpongeBob: [terrified] Patrick! Help! [running around like crazy] Oh, Patrick! Help! Oh, Patrick, come back! Oh, my best friend!
[Patrick suddenly floats gently back to the ocean floor, and SpongeBob bumps into him]
SpongeBob: Patrick, you're alive!
Patrick: Am I ever! You should try it!
SpongeBob: But what about the surface? And your britches? And the gift shops?
Patrick: You just jump off before you go up too high.
Patrick: Lighten up, will ya? Or do I have to eat all this cheese by myse-- Whoaaah!
[Suddenly the hook Patrick is holding onto jerks into the air, taking Patrick up towards the surface]
SpongeBob: [terrified] Patrick! Help! [running around like crazy] Oh, Patrick! Help! Oh, Patrick, come back! Oh, my best friend!
[Patrick suddenly floats gently back to the ocean floor, and SpongeBob bumps into him]
SpongeBob: Patrick, you're alive!
Patrick: Am I ever! You should try it!
SpongeBob: But what about the surface? And your britches? And the gift shops?
Patrick: You just jump off before you go up too high.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[In the Krusty Krab]
Customer 1: Pee-yew! You call this food?!
Customer 2: My sandwich tastes like a fried boot!
Customer 3: My sandwich is a fried boot!
Customer 1: Pee-yew! You call this food?!
Customer 2: My sandwich tastes like a fried boot!
Customer 3: My sandwich is a fried boot!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[In the Krusty Krab kitchen]
Mr. Krabs: Squidward! What the halibut's going on in here?
Squidward: It's a feeding frenzy, sir, and SpongeBob's still not back from his break!
[Mr. Krabs bursts out laughing]
Squidward: What?
Mr. Krabs: I thought you said SpongeBob was taking a break. No one's taken a break at the Krusty Krab since the Chum Famine of '59. [chuckles] Now, what were you saying?
Squidward: [with emphasis] He took a break.
[Mr. Krabs looks at Squidward, and his arms fall off, then his nose falls off, too. Later we see Mr. Krabs storming out the front doors]
Mr. Krabs: All right, Spongebob LazyPants! I'll find you. This nose can smell laziness for up to 10,000 leagues! [sniffs] A-HA! [starts to march off] I'll give you a break you'll not soon forget!
Squidward: [with a mob of angry customers forming around him] But, Mr. Krabs, I still need-- [the mob carries him off] --HEEELLLLP!
Mr. Krabs: Squidward! What the halibut's going on in here?
Squidward: It's a feeding frenzy, sir, and SpongeBob's still not back from his break!
[Mr. Krabs bursts out laughing]
Squidward: What?
Mr. Krabs: I thought you said SpongeBob was taking a break. No one's taken a break at the Krusty Krab since the Chum Famine of '59. [chuckles] Now, what were you saying?
Squidward: [with emphasis] He took a break.
[Mr. Krabs looks at Squidward, and his arms fall off, then his nose falls off, too. Later we see Mr. Krabs storming out the front doors]
Mr. Krabs: All right, Spongebob LazyPants! I'll find you. This nose can smell laziness for up to 10,000 leagues! [sniffs] A-HA! [starts to march off] I'll give you a break you'll not soon forget!
Squidward: [with a mob of angry customers forming around him] But, Mr. Krabs, I still need-- [the mob carries him off] --HEEELLLLP!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mr. Krabs: [thinking SpongeBob and Patrick are gone forever] Boys! I wasn't quick enough. They're gone! [on the verge of tears] Oh, if I could only hold them in me arms again, I'd-I'd--
[SpongeBob and Patrick float down in front of him, and anger replaces his sadness]
Mr. Krabs: I'd throttle 'em! What'd I tell you about those hooks, boy?!
SpongeBob: I-I--
Patrick: I'll tell you about the hooks! You ride 'em up and up and up...then you gently float down.
Mr. Krabs: [in Patrick's face] And do you know what happens when you don't float back down?
SpongeBob: Gift shops!
Mr. Krabs: Worse! You end up vacuum-packed in a can of tuna! With nothing to look forward to but the smell of mayonnaise!
[Bloody murder is heard in the background]
[SpongeBob and Patrick float down in front of him, and anger replaces his sadness]
Mr. Krabs: I'd throttle 'em! What'd I tell you about those hooks, boy?!
SpongeBob: I-I--
Patrick: I'll tell you about the hooks! You ride 'em up and up and up...then you gently float down.
Mr. Krabs: [in Patrick's face] And do you know what happens when you don't float back down?
SpongeBob: Gift shops!
Mr. Krabs: Worse! You end up vacuum-packed in a can of tuna! With nothing to look forward to but the smell of mayonnaise!
[Bloody murder is heard in the background]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mr. Krabs: I want you boys to promise me you'll never go on those hooks again.
Patrick & SpongeBob: We promise, Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: I need a sailor's promise! Repeat after me: Yo-ho, yo-ho, near the hooks I'll never go!
Patrick & SpongeBob: Yo-ho, yo-ho, near the hooks we'll never go.
[A sharp hook jabs Mr. Krabs in the rear end. He howls in pain and leaps into the air]
Mr. Krabs: Mother of pearl! Fire on the poopdeck!
Patrick & SpongeBob: Ahh! Mother of pearl! [rubbing their rears] Fire on the poopdeck!
Patrick & SpongeBob: We promise, Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: I need a sailor's promise! Repeat after me: Yo-ho, yo-ho, near the hooks I'll never go!
Patrick & SpongeBob: Yo-ho, yo-ho, near the hooks we'll never go.
[A sharp hook jabs Mr. Krabs in the rear end. He howls in pain and leaps into the air]
Mr. Krabs: Mother of pearl! Fire on the poopdeck!
Patrick & SpongeBob: Ahh! Mother of pearl! [rubbing their rears] Fire on the poopdeck!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[Patrick is returned to Bikini Bottom trapped inside a can of tuna]
Patrick: Hello? Does somebody have a can opener?
Patrick: Hello? Does somebody have a can opener?
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mermaid Man: Don't squash his enthusiasm. After all, he could be the hero of tomorrow! Or the villain.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mermaid Man & SpongeBob: [singing] Oh jingle bells, Mermaid Man smells, Barnacle Boy laid an egg; the Invisible Boatmobile lost a wheel and...
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: [to the Dirty Bubble] You're my favorite supervillain. Can I get your autograph? [pulls out paper and a sharp pencil]
Dirty Bubble: [in shock] No! No! Stay back! Watch the point! Nooooo-- [SpongeBob pops him]
Dirty Bubble: [in shock] No! No! Stay back! Watch the point! Nooooo-- [SpongeBob pops him]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: TADA! A perfect Patty.
Squidward: Alright SpongeBob, hand it over. [waits] Well?
SpongeBob: [hesitates] Hey Squidward! I've got an idea! How about you come get it?
Squidward: [sarcastically] Oh gee, SpongeBob, now that's a great idea! And maybe I should cook the Patties, and do the dishes, and wear square pants, and live in a pineapple, while YOU wait in the unemployment line!
SpongeBob: No!
Squidward: Then bring the Patty here NOW!
Squidward: Alright SpongeBob, hand it over. [waits] Well?
SpongeBob: [hesitates] Hey Squidward! I've got an idea! How about you come get it?
Squidward: [sarcastically] Oh gee, SpongeBob, now that's a great idea! And maybe I should cook the Patties, and do the dishes, and wear square pants, and live in a pineapple, while YOU wait in the unemployment line!
SpongeBob: No!
Squidward: Then bring the Patty here NOW!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Squidward: It's Sponge-- [burps loudly] --Bob's fault! SpongeBob's fault!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: [SpongeBob's feet are stomped into the floor of the Krusty Krab] SpongeBob, you're shorter. Have you been dieting?
Spongebob: Heh, well, a sponge has to look his spongiest
Spongebob: Heh, well, a sponge has to look his spongiest
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: [stuck to Painty the Pirate] Could you show me how to tie my shoes?
Painty: Aargh! I be just a paintin' of a head.
Painty: Aargh! I be just a paintin' of a head.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mr. Krabs: I can think of ten good reasons to never let go of a dime, boy.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mr. Krabs: Get away barbarian, look what you've done! Nice, clean money, SOILED!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Go. Run away like all the others. No one would want a friend as ugly as I am. [slams his hands onto his organ]
Patrick: Sure they would! It makes them feel better about the way they look!
SpongeBob: Go. Run away like all the others. No one would want a friend as ugly as I am. [slams his hands onto his organ]
Patrick: Sure they would! It makes them feel better about the way they look!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: Maybe a story will cheer you up. [picks up SpongeBob and seats him] It's called "The Ugly Barnacle." Once there was an ugly Barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died! The end.
SpongeBob: [sadly] That didn't help at all. How long... How long have I been ugly Patrick?
Patrick: As long as I can remember. You poor ugly thing, you.
SpongeBob: [sadly] That didn't help at all. How long... How long have I been ugly Patrick?
Patrick: As long as I can remember. You poor ugly thing, you.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Spongebob: HELP ME! I'm so ashamed! I'm spiraling! I'M SPIRALING! [Patrick slaps him] Thanks, Patrick... [Patrick raises his hand to hit him again] Ah, i-i-it's okay, Patrick! Spiraling, over....[pushes Patrick's arm down]
Patrick: Just Do when I have problems...SCREEEEEAM!!!!!!!!!!!
Patrick: Just Do when I have problems...SCREEEEEAM!!!!!!!!!!!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Just remember what we talked about. There's power in pride.
Patrick: [with foul breath pouring out of his mouth] That may be fine for you, but I was one of the beautiful people. Now look at me! I'm almost as ugly as you! I always thought, "If I was as ugly as that guy, I don't know what I would do."
SpongeBob: Patrick?
Patrick: What's my mom gonna say?! My sister-- Wait. I don't have a sister. The bank-- Oh, it's one thing if you have bad shoes or even bad hair, but--
SpongeBob: PATRICK!! You're not ugly, your breath stinks, really bad.
Patrick: [with foul breath pouring out of his mouth] That may be fine for you, but I was one of the beautiful people. Now look at me! I'm almost as ugly as you! I always thought, "If I was as ugly as that guy, I don't know what I would do."
SpongeBob: Patrick?
Patrick: What's my mom gonna say?! My sister-- Wait. I don't have a sister. The bank-- Oh, it's one thing if you have bad shoes or even bad hair, but--
SpongeBob: PATRICK!! You're not ugly, your breath stinks, really bad.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[SpongeBob is trying to think of what toppings to use for his sundae. He studies what he has in the cupboard]
SpongeBob: Bananas. Cherries. Boring. Ah, here we go! Onions! Ready, Gary?
[We see Gary with a violin]
Gary: Meow.
[Sad violin music begibns to play, and SpongeBob bursts into tears as he cuts up the onions]
SpongeBob: Bananas. Cherries. Boring. Ah, here we go! Onions! Ready, Gary?
[We see Gary with a violin]
Gary: Meow.
[Sad violin music begibns to play, and SpongeBob bursts into tears as he cuts up the onions]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants