SpongeBob SquarePants Quotes
SpongeBob: [Leans over towards a fish in the audience] Excuse me, sir. I hope my horrible ugliness won't be a distraction to you.
Fish: Not at all, boy. [He catches a whiff of Spongebob's breath and shrieks in disgust] DEUUEAUGH!
Fish: Not at all, boy. [He catches a whiff of Spongebob's breath and shrieks in disgust] DEUUEAUGH!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[SpongeBob is appalled at how putrid Patrick's breath is]
SpongeBob: Oh, barnacles! Patrick, what did you eat?!
Patrick: Oh, some roast beef, some chicken, a pizza--
SpongeBob: [holding his nose] No, I mean just this morning.
Patrick: Some roast beef, some chicken, a pizza--
SpongeBob: Oh, barnacles! Patrick, what did you eat?!
Patrick: Oh, some roast beef, some chicken, a pizza--
SpongeBob: [holding his nose] No, I mean just this morning.
Patrick: Some roast beef, some chicken, a pizza--
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: Okay say it. [SpongeBob hesitates] Say it.
SpongeBob: I can't.
Patrick: Spongebob you're never gonna feel better 'till you get this thing off your chest.
[Shows alien-ish, purple thing on SpongeBob's chest]
SpongeBob: I know, Patrick. [removes the thing]
SpongeBob: I can't.
Patrick: Spongebob you're never gonna feel better 'till you get this thing off your chest.
[Shows alien-ish, purple thing on SpongeBob's chest]
SpongeBob: I know, Patrick. [removes the thing]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Squidward: [deadpan] Rage. Fury. Irritation. Humiliation.
Pearl: Squidward is such a barnacle.
SpongeBob: A stick in the sand.
Pearl: Squidward is such a barnacle.
SpongeBob: A stick in the sand.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[Pearl gives SpongeBob his new uniform, a bright pink body suit covered with bright purple flowers]
Pearl: Oh, SpongeBob, you look so adorable! I could just eat you up!
SpongeBob: Sorry, Pearl, this item's not on the menu!
Pearl: Oh, SpongeBob, you look so adorable! I could just eat you up!
SpongeBob: Sorry, Pearl, this item's not on the menu!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: [points to Port-a-Potty] It's his first time on his own.
Fish: Once again, congratulations.
Fish: Once again, congratulations.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Fish: He kept us waiting for a bubble?!
Larry the Lobster: That's nothing! He called us fat! [he and other fish rushingly eat celery stalks]
Pearl: [crying] He washed my flipper!
Mr. Krabs: He owes me money!
Squidward: He made me provide excellent service!
Scooter: [as an angel] Dudes, he made me experience high tide! [flies up into heaven] Haaaaaaaaaaaw!
Larry the Lobster: That's nothing! He called us fat! [he and other fish rushingly eat celery stalks]
Pearl: [crying] He washed my flipper!
Mr. Krabs: He owes me money!
Squidward: He made me provide excellent service!
Scooter: [as an angel] Dudes, he made me experience high tide! [flies up into heaven] Haaaaaaaaaaaw!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[SpongeBob finds, to his horror, that his grill is gone]
SpongeBob: Where's the grill?!
Pearl: Come on, SpongeBob, you're a hip guy. You know fried foods are O-U-T, out.
SpongeBob: [weakly] Er...right on.
SpongeBob: Where's the grill?!
Pearl: Come on, SpongeBob, you're a hip guy. You know fried foods are O-U-T, out.
SpongeBob: [weakly] Er...right on.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[Pearl gives SpongeBob the new Kuddly Krab menu]
SpongeBob: [reading the menu] "Salad and tea." But where are the Krabby Patties?
Pearl: Oh silly, those aren't hip.
SpongeBob: [reading the menu] "Salad and tea." But where are the Krabby Patties?
Pearl: Oh silly, those aren't hip.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Hey Mr. Krabs, I did it! [finds that Krabs has fainted]AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!![breaks open a glass case containing a dollar bill and waves it under Krabs' nose]
Mr. Krabs: [weakly] Oh, Pearly... [sniffs] Is that a $20? [grabs dollar]
Mr. Krabs: [weakly] Oh, Pearly... [sniffs] Is that a $20? [grabs dollar]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Woman: It’s a shame old man Krabs sold the Krusty Krab.
Man: That’s a darn shame. Hey, lady! Do you know where we can get a joint to eat around here?
Squidward: That’s it! I quit! [he rips off his uniform, revealing nothing under it. A police whistle is blown and a cop comes over. He writes him a ticket and places it between his legs]
Man: That’s a darn shame. Hey, lady! Do you know where we can get a joint to eat around here?
Squidward: That’s it! I quit! [he rips off his uniform, revealing nothing under it. A police whistle is blown and a cop comes over. He writes him a ticket and places it between his legs]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[Patrick showing SpongeBob his award]
SpongeBob: [reading award caption] For outstanding achievement in achievement - SpongeBob SquarePants?
Patrick: "SpongeBob SquarePants"? That's a funny way to spell my name.
SpongeBob: Uh, Patrick, I think the award is for me. You must have got it by mistake.
Patrick: [sadly] But, it's shiny! [starts to cry]
SpongeBob: Yeah, but, you know what else is shiny?
Patrick: Ice cream!
SpongeBob: Exactly!
Patrick: I can find it! Is it in here?
SpongeBob: No, don't, that's my-- [Patrick opens door, causing all the trophies inside to collapse] ...Award closet.
SpongeBob: [reading award caption] For outstanding achievement in achievement - SpongeBob SquarePants?
Patrick: "SpongeBob SquarePants"? That's a funny way to spell my name.
SpongeBob: Uh, Patrick, I think the award is for me. You must have got it by mistake.
Patrick: [sadly] But, it's shiny! [starts to cry]
SpongeBob: Yeah, but, you know what else is shiny?
Patrick: Ice cream!
SpongeBob: Exactly!
Patrick: I can find it! Is it in here?
SpongeBob: No, don't, that's my-- [Patrick opens door, causing all the trophies inside to collapse] ...Award closet.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: It look's a little dusty around table 3, how about if you sweep it up?
Patrick: What's the point? I can't do anything right.
SpongeBob: You'll do fine.
[Loud noise comes from the mop, Patrick is scraping the wrong end of the mop on the floor]
Phil: [walks up to Patrick] Hey Pal, you just blow in from Stupid Town?
Patrick: What's the point? I can't do anything right.
SpongeBob: You'll do fine.
[Loud noise comes from the mop, Patrick is scraping the wrong end of the mop on the floor]
Phil: [walks up to Patrick] Hey Pal, you just blow in from Stupid Town?
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: First, you need a jar.
[Patrick holds up a pickle]
SpongeBob: Patrick, that's a pickle.
Patrick: Yes.
[Patrick holds up a pickle]
SpongeBob: Patrick, that's a pickle.
Patrick: Yes.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[Phone rings and Patrick answers it]
Fish: Is this the Krusty Krab?
Patrick: No, this is Patrick.
[Patrick hangs up and whistles; phone rings again]
Another Fish: Is this the Krusty Krab?
Patrick: [annoyed] No, this is Patrick!
[Patrick hangs up and continues whistling; phone rings again]
Yet Another Fish: Is this the Krusty Krab?
Patrick: [fed up] NO! THIS IS PATRICK! [hangs up, sulking] I'm not a Krusty Krab.
SpongeBob: Uh... Patrick, that's the name of the restaurant.
Patrick: Huh? [facepalms] Oooh... FISH PASTE!
Fish: Is this the Krusty Krab?
Patrick: No, this is Patrick.
[Patrick hangs up and whistles; phone rings again]
Another Fish: Is this the Krusty Krab?
Patrick: [annoyed] No, this is Patrick!
[Patrick hangs up and continues whistling; phone rings again]
Yet Another Fish: Is this the Krusty Krab?
Patrick: [fed up] NO! THIS IS PATRICK! [hangs up, sulking] I'm not a Krusty Krab.
SpongeBob: Uh... Patrick, that's the name of the restaurant.
Patrick: Huh? [facepalms] Oooh... FISH PASTE!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[SpongeBob is instructing Patrick on how to remove a jar lid]
[Patrick flails his arm grabbing things randomly, to which SpongeBob responds by repeating, "The lid!"]
SpongeBob: Freeze!
[Patrick holding on to the jar panting]
SpongeBob: Almost there... Now head for the lid.
[Patrick, sweating excessively, moves his hand down]
SpongeBob: Cold... [Patrick moves his hand up] Warmer, warmer, warmer!
[Patrick puts his hand on the lid]
SpongeBob: You're hot! You're on FIRE!
Patrick: Aaaah! It burns!
[Patrick flails his arm grabbing things randomly, to which SpongeBob responds by repeating, "The lid!"]
SpongeBob: Freeze!
[Patrick holding on to the jar panting]
SpongeBob: Almost there... Now head for the lid.
[Patrick, sweating excessively, moves his hand down]
SpongeBob: Cold... [Patrick moves his hand up] Warmer, warmer, warmer!
[Patrick puts his hand on the lid]
SpongeBob: You're hot! You're on FIRE!
Patrick: Aaaah! It burns!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob & Patrick: Ha! Darn. Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as...pickled fish lips!! (both cover their mouth) Sea weevel. Gorgy smorgy.
SpongeBob: At least I'm safe inside my mind.
Patrick: At least I'm safe inside my mind
SpongeBob: At least I'm safe inside my mind.
Patrick: At least I'm safe inside my mind
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Squidward: [to SpongeBob] How am I supposed to enjoy your day off if you come to work anyway?!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Squidward: Here, one of everything! No cheese, no crust, pickles to the left, four sqirts of ketchup, wheat buns, non-dairy lettuce, and farm-raised tomatoes carnival style! And if there is anything else I can do, please hesitate to ask!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Bubble Buddy, you go dig him up while I get us some ice cream.
Scooter: [buried up to his head in sand; to Bubble Buddy] Don't just stand there, dude! The tide's coming in! [laughs] ...Dude?
Scooter: [buried up to his head in sand; to Bubble Buddy] Don't just stand there, dude! The tide's coming in! [laughs] ...Dude?
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: [to Squidward] Bubble Buddy says this drink tastes funny. What do you think?
Squidward: [annoyed] Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: [after pre-chewing a Krabby Patty for an old lady] Think of the customer!
Squidward: [trying out drink] Oh, silly me. I got the Diet Shampoo.
Squidward: [annoyed] Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: [after pre-chewing a Krabby Patty for an old lady] Think of the customer!
Squidward: [trying out drink] Oh, silly me. I got the Diet Shampoo.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Oh, no, Squidward! Wait! There's cheese on these patties!
Squidward: And?
SpongeBob: Bubble Buddy's lactose intolerant. He can't eat cheese! What should we do?
Squidward: [angry] We?! How about you take these patties and--
Mr. Krabs: [offscreen] Mr. Squidward!
Squidward: And?
SpongeBob: Bubble Buddy's lactose intolerant. He can't eat cheese! What should we do?
Squidward: [angry] We?! How about you take these patties and--
Mr. Krabs: [offscreen] Mr. Squidward!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: First I need to find a friend! (holds up as stick) Stick buddy! No. (stands next to a pile of rocks) No. (stands next to a sink) Sink buddy! Almost...
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Tom: He poisoned our water supply, burned our crops and delivered a plague unto our houses!
Protesters: He did?
Tom: No, but are we just going to wait around until he does?!
Protesters: He did?
Tom: No, but are we just going to wait around until he does?!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mr. Krabs: So, are you ready?
Squidward: To go home?
Mr. Krabs: No, to exchange gifts for Employee Brotherhood Day!
Squidward: Mr. Krabs, you pay me to stand behind this register, and take orders, and give change. But you could never pay me enough to act brotherly towards that guy![points to SpongeBob]
Squidward: To go home?
Mr. Krabs: No, to exchange gifts for Employee Brotherhood Day!
Squidward: Mr. Krabs, you pay me to stand behind this register, and take orders, and give change. But you could never pay me enough to act brotherly towards that guy![points to SpongeBob]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mr. Krabs: You had to kill him. The boy cries you a sweater of tears...and you kill him.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Squidward: Well, we'd better get started on this list before you die...of anticipation.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: You know, if I were to die right now in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend, well, that would just be okay.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[When SpongeBob hints that the "monster" must have eaten Wormy]
Patrick: WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME?!
Patrick: WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME?!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants