Squidbillies Quote
Therapist: Alright, look. I want you to take all those things that are eating away, weighing you down inside, and I want you to pull them all out... and scream them out at the top of your lungs. Sheriff?
Sheriff: Who, me?
Therapist: Yeah, just cut loose. I mean, just get it all off your chest. This is a safe haven for both of you gentlemen.
Sheriff: Okay. (Shuffles to edge of cliff) Well, you see... Early... well, he don't respect...
Early: Are you done? Everybody stand back, it's my turn.
Sheriff: No...
Early: Nyuh huh, I just called it. (Begins to nudge the Sheriff out of the way)
Sheriff: (Kicks Early away) Don't you push me! You always push me into positions I don't like! I'm the law! And you break the law and you still expect me to be your friend? How can I be who I am and still be in a relationship with you! It's always about you! You think you're the center of the universe and we all...
[Cut to several hours later, sunset]
Sheriff: ...moved the show to Friday, head-to-head with CSI? Come on! You've got to give a show time to find an audience...
[Cut to several hours later, night has fallen]
Sheriff: ...hell, you know he can act! He played Doogie Howser for seven seasons!
Therapist: (Claps) Excellent work gentlemen, excellent. (Looks at watch, begins to back away) Hey, ah, I think this is about as good as it gets, guys...
Sheriff: Naw! Naw! Without us they have no network...
[Cut to serveral hours later, sunrise]
Sheriff: ...often wondered if I even do have a pair! Yes, of testicles! (Grabs crotch) I've never seen them, no! And you dressed me in chiffon! Pretty, pretty chiffon! Well, guess what! I think I'm pregnant... again! Thanks a lot, mama! (Whips off shirt and throws it off the cliff) Whew, well, that felt pretty good.
Sheriff: Who, me?
Therapist: Yeah, just cut loose. I mean, just get it all off your chest. This is a safe haven for both of you gentlemen.
Sheriff: Okay. (Shuffles to edge of cliff) Well, you see... Early... well, he don't respect...
Early: Are you done? Everybody stand back, it's my turn.
Sheriff: No...
Early: Nyuh huh, I just called it. (Begins to nudge the Sheriff out of the way)
Sheriff: (Kicks Early away) Don't you push me! You always push me into positions I don't like! I'm the law! And you break the law and you still expect me to be your friend? How can I be who I am and still be in a relationship with you! It's always about you! You think you're the center of the universe and we all...
[Cut to several hours later, sunset]
Sheriff: ...moved the show to Friday, head-to-head with CSI? Come on! You've got to give a show time to find an audience...
[Cut to several hours later, night has fallen]
Sheriff: ...hell, you know he can act! He played Doogie Howser for seven seasons!
Therapist: (Claps) Excellent work gentlemen, excellent. (Looks at watch, begins to back away) Hey, ah, I think this is about as good as it gets, guys...
Sheriff: Naw! Naw! Without us they have no network...
[Cut to serveral hours later, sunrise]
Sheriff: ...often wondered if I even do have a pair! Yes, of testicles! (Grabs crotch) I've never seen them, no! And you dressed me in chiffon! Pretty, pretty chiffon! Well, guess what! I think I'm pregnant... again! Thanks a lot, mama! (Whips off shirt and throws it off the cliff) Whew, well, that felt pretty good.
TV Show: Squidbillies
