Stargate SG-1 Quotes
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Room full of gold and jewels, and Dr. Daniel Jackson finds the one book.
Dr. Jackson: [to Landry] I mean, isn't that why we're doing this, all of this? The Stargate program, the budget? Isn't it so we can go out and meet new races? Gather advanced technology? Possibly learn about ourselves in the process?
Vala: Oh, come on. You do it to meet women.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: [also to Landry] She has a point, sir.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: So any one of us can take the pony ride.
Dr. Jackson: Yeah, and I figured that was going to be me. I mean, I did miss the Daedalus for this, so...
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: You're going to dine out on that for a while?
Dr. Jackson: Yeah, yeah, like you wouldn't believe.
[regarding the book]
Dr. Jackson: It says here the Alterans named their new home Avalon and built many Astria Porta.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Stargates?
Dr. Jackson: Yes.
Vala: I thought the Ancients built the Stargates.
Dr. Jackson: Well, it stands to reason that they didn't always call themselves the Ancients.
[The villagers are about to burn Vala to death]
Dr. Jackson: What the hell did you say?!
Vala: I think at first it's what I didn't say. You see, apparently there's a blessing you're supposed to recite over the leaves before you drink, which nobody warned me about. Then I think it's what I did say. I was trying to politely explain what was going on and then his wife started screaming and accusing me of being overcome. At which point I believe I suggested she might want to think about procreation... with herself.
[Vala has just been revived after b
Dr. Jackson: [to Landry] I mean, isn't that why we're doing this, all of this? The Stargate program, the budget? Isn't it so we can go out and meet new races? Gather advanced technology? Possibly learn about ourselves in the process?
Vala: Oh, come on. You do it to meet women.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: [also to Landry] She has a point, sir.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: So any one of us can take the pony ride.
Dr. Jackson: Yeah, and I figured that was going to be me. I mean, I did miss the Daedalus for this, so...
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: You're going to dine out on that for a while?
Dr. Jackson: Yeah, yeah, like you wouldn't believe.
[regarding the book]
Dr. Jackson: It says here the Alterans named their new home Avalon and built many Astria Porta.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Stargates?
Dr. Jackson: Yes.
Vala: I thought the Ancients built the Stargates.
Dr. Jackson: Well, it stands to reason that they didn't always call themselves the Ancients.
[The villagers are about to burn Vala to death]
Dr. Jackson: What the hell did you say?!
Vala: I think at first it's what I didn't say. You see, apparently there's a blessing you're supposed to recite over the leaves before you drink, which nobody warned me about. Then I think it's what I did say. I was trying to politely explain what was going on and then his wife started screaming and accusing me of being overcome. At which point I believe I suggested she might want to think about procreation... with herself.
[Vala has just been revived after b
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Vala: Look, I never killed anyone, I never tortured them, I was a wonderful god. Just ask them!
Dr. Jackson: I think we will.
Vala: Why? You don't believe me?
Dr. Jackson: That, and I'm not totally convinced they are ultimately going to follow your command, nor should that be the only reason they don't follow the Priors.
Vala: I am still supposed to be their god, I can't very well go out there and ask them if they are going to listen to me.
Dr. Jackson: I wasn't expecting you to.
Vala: What makes you think they're going to tell you the truth; you're supposed to be my faithful servant.
Dr. Jackson: Then I'll sort of explain that we're not as faithful as you might like to believe, and if necessary I'll also tell them we're plotting to kill you.
Vala: I have heard better plans!
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: I kinda like it.
Vala: Shut up!
After Mitchell has persuaded the villagers to put Vala on trial.
Vala: Thank you! I apologise for ever questioning your masterful skills at negotiation!
Dr. Jackson: He's doing the best he can.
Vala: That's what terrifies me!
Dr. Jackson: I think we will.
Vala: Why? You don't believe me?
Dr. Jackson: That, and I'm not totally convinced they are ultimately going to follow your command, nor should that be the only reason they don't follow the Priors.
Vala: I am still supposed to be their god, I can't very well go out there and ask them if they are going to listen to me.
Dr. Jackson: I wasn't expecting you to.
Vala: What makes you think they're going to tell you the truth; you're supposed to be my faithful servant.
Dr. Jackson: Then I'll sort of explain that we're not as faithful as you might like to believe, and if necessary I'll also tell them we're plotting to kill you.
Vala: I have heard better plans!
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: I kinda like it.
Vala: Shut up!
After Mitchell has persuaded the villagers to put Vala on trial.
Vala: Thank you! I apologise for ever questioning your masterful skills at negotiation!
Dr. Jackson: He's doing the best he can.
Vala: That's what terrifies me!
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
General Landry: According to the mission report on your first encounter with Orlin, you two had an... "intimate" relationship?
Lt. Colonel Carter: Uh, well, we did. But, uh, he didn't look like that. He was…
Dr. Lam: Taller?
Lt. Colonel Carter: He was a grown man.
Lt. Colonel Carter: Uh, well, we did. But, uh, he didn't look like that. He was…
Dr. Lam: Taller?
Lt. Colonel Carter: He was a grown man.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[regarding the Anti-Prior device]
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: So how does it work, assuming it actually does work?
Dr. Lee: You know, I keep telling myself that one of these days I'm going to do something that gets me a little respect.
Dr. Jackson: We're all waiting for that day, Bill.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: So how does it work, assuming it actually does work?
Dr. Lee: You know, I keep telling myself that one of these days I'm going to do something that gets me a little respect.
Dr. Jackson: We're all waiting for that day, Bill.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Well while we're at it, why don't we just assume I can fly?
Dr. Lee: Oh, actually, I have been working on a theory...
Dr. Lee: Oh, actually, I have been working on a theory...
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Jackson: You know, getting the cloaking generator off that mothership, that's going to be the least of our problems. Now, getting Jack to help, that's going to be the hard part.
Lt. Col. Carter: Oh, don't tell me…
Dr. Jackson: Oh yes. He likes being invisible.
Lt. Col. Carter: Oh, don't tell me…
Dr. Jackson: Oh yes. He likes being invisible.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Vala: If the Ori are so powerful, why do they need people to spy for them?
Prior: The Ori need nothing from us.
Dr. Jackson: [quoting] "It is we who must seek the truth of the universe in order to achieve enlightenment."
[Vala gives Daniel a funny look]
Dr. Jackson: [shrugs] Been down this road before.
Dr. Jackson: I'm sorry to interrupt, but um…if you brought us here to try and convert us, it is fair to tell you that we are really not in the market for new gods.
[The Ori have possessed the Doci to communicate with Daniel]
Ori-possessed Doci: We are Ori.
Dr. Jackson: [visibly horrified] And you instruct these people to worship you?
Ori-possessed Doci: We are their creators. All who follow the path will join us in enlightenment.
Dr. Jackson: Do you know who the Alterans are?
Ori-possessed Doci: Those who abandoned the path are evil!
Dr. Jackson: Evil? Why?
Ori-possessed Doci: They shielded you.
Dr. Jackson: Really. I didn't really think they did much of anything for us, but I guess I was wrong.
Prior: Origin will guide you on this path, and those who revere its wisdom shall be uplifted. I have come to spread the word to the unbelievers who have been... sheltered, and raised by evil.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: [whispering to General Landry] You have no idea how much he sounds like my grandma.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: "And a man has no greater thing under the sun than to eat, drink and be merry." Ecclesiastes, my favorite. [Pause to show the Prior sizing up Mitchell.] My grandma was a bit of a Bible-thumper. Weekends at grandma's meant long, long Sundays at St. Hilda's Church o
Prior: The Ori need nothing from us.
Dr. Jackson: [quoting] "It is we who must seek the truth of the universe in order to achieve enlightenment."
[Vala gives Daniel a funny look]
Dr. Jackson: [shrugs] Been down this road before.
Dr. Jackson: I'm sorry to interrupt, but um…if you brought us here to try and convert us, it is fair to tell you that we are really not in the market for new gods.
[The Ori have possessed the Doci to communicate with Daniel]
Ori-possessed Doci: We are Ori.
Dr. Jackson: [visibly horrified] And you instruct these people to worship you?
Ori-possessed Doci: We are their creators. All who follow the path will join us in enlightenment.
Dr. Jackson: Do you know who the Alterans are?
Ori-possessed Doci: Those who abandoned the path are evil!
Dr. Jackson: Evil? Why?
Ori-possessed Doci: They shielded you.
Dr. Jackson: Really. I didn't really think they did much of anything for us, but I guess I was wrong.
Prior: Origin will guide you on this path, and those who revere its wisdom shall be uplifted. I have come to spread the word to the unbelievers who have been... sheltered, and raised by evil.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: [whispering to General Landry] You have no idea how much he sounds like my grandma.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: "And a man has no greater thing under the sun than to eat, drink and be merry." Ecclesiastes, my favorite. [Pause to show the Prior sizing up Mitchell.] My grandma was a bit of a Bible-thumper. Weekends at grandma's meant long, long Sundays at St. Hilda's Church o
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Vala: Came to see me off? That's sweet.
Dr. Jackson: Well, we've been through a lot together. I just wanted to come here myself and make sure you were… thoroughly searched.
Dr. Jackson: He's the guy you stole the bracelets from, right?
Vala: How dare you assume that I aquired those bracelets through anything but honest means! I may have a less than perfect reputation—
Dr. Jackson: You told me you stole them!
Vala: I did?
Dr. Jackson: Yes!
[Vala is nearly in tears after Daniel claims she uses sex as a weapon. He starts to apologize when he suddenly comes to a realization.]
Dr. Jackson: Are you messing with me?
Vala: Is it working?
Arlos: I'm not after revenge. The truth is, the bracelets weren't the only thing she took from me. She also stole… my heart.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Excuse me?
Arlos: I remember it as if it were yesterday. Some nights, we would steal away from the city, strip off our clothing, and bathe in the springs of Aragaten. We would chase one another across the mossy hills and then lie naked under Adora's moons and Vala would sometimes—
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Okay, that's great, thanks. We got the picture. [to himself] A very vivid, very disturbing picture.
Arlos: Yes. Those were wonderful, carnal times.
General Landry: [about Vala] She accused the Chairman of the Senate Appropriations Committee of having a, uh, let's just call it an "insufficient manhood." She's gotta go.
General Landry: [to Walter] Don't make me promote you.
Inago: Vala! You cowardly, backstabbing sorry excuse for a woman. How've you been?
Vala
Dr. Jackson: Well, we've been through a lot together. I just wanted to come here myself and make sure you were… thoroughly searched.
Dr. Jackson: He's the guy you stole the bracelets from, right?
Vala: How dare you assume that I aquired those bracelets through anything but honest means! I may have a less than perfect reputation—
Dr. Jackson: You told me you stole them!
Vala: I did?
Dr. Jackson: Yes!
[Vala is nearly in tears after Daniel claims she uses sex as a weapon. He starts to apologize when he suddenly comes to a realization.]
Dr. Jackson: Are you messing with me?
Vala: Is it working?
Arlos: I'm not after revenge. The truth is, the bracelets weren't the only thing she took from me. She also stole… my heart.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Excuse me?
Arlos: I remember it as if it were yesterday. Some nights, we would steal away from the city, strip off our clothing, and bathe in the springs of Aragaten. We would chase one another across the mossy hills and then lie naked under Adora's moons and Vala would sometimes—
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Okay, that's great, thanks. We got the picture. [to himself] A very vivid, very disturbing picture.
Arlos: Yes. Those were wonderful, carnal times.
General Landry: [about Vala] She accused the Chairman of the Senate Appropriations Committee of having a, uh, let's just call it an "insufficient manhood." She's gotta go.
General Landry: [to Walter] Don't make me promote you.
Inago: Vala! You cowardly, backstabbing sorry excuse for a woman. How've you been?
Vala
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Cut to a locker room with a shower running- after a pause, Carter cautiously looks out from over the top of the shower curtain]
Lt. Col. Carter: Sir? Are you there?
[Long pause]
Gen. O'Neill: Nope.
Lt. Col. Carter: Sir? Are you there?
[Long pause]
Gen. O'Neill: Nope.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Jackson: Most of the System Lords were killed by the Replicators. Then, we defeated the Replicators.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Wow, we look cool.
General Landry: Don't let it go to your head.
Lt. Col Mitchell: Lieutenant Colonel Cameron Mitchell, leader of SG-1.
Nerus: You are not...
Lt. Col Mitchell: No.
Nerus: Will he be here?
Lt. Colonel Carter: Now, considering their unique ability to maintain an active Stargate indefinitely and their force field capabilities, the President has authorized any and all means to complete the mission.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Oh, boy. And here I was trying to have a nuke free career.
[Mitchell, Carter, Daniel, and Teal'c set off on their first mission together, with Vala]
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: How good is this? Got the band back together!
Lt. Colonel Carter: [looking at Vala] Yeah, so what's with the extra back-up singer?
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Oh, she's good fun.
Dr. Jackson: [pulling Vala's scarf off her neck] Vala, this is a military vessel.
Vala: I know, darling. I've stolen it before.
Dr. Jackson: Well, just try to be, uh…
Vala: My charming self?
Dr. Jackson: Just a little less talk; a little more shut the hell up.
Dr. Jackson: The next idea we come up with has to be outside the box.
Lt. Colonel Carter: Okay, the gate is composed of individual units. The—There must be some sort of energy linkage between them, like a—like a chain.
Vala: Exactly, so we—
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: So we need a big ol' set of bolt cutters.
Dr. Jackson: Oooh. Too far outside the
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Wow, we look cool.
General Landry: Don't let it go to your head.
Lt. Col Mitchell: Lieutenant Colonel Cameron Mitchell, leader of SG-1.
Nerus: You are not...
Lt. Col Mitchell: No.
Nerus: Will he be here?
Lt. Colonel Carter: Now, considering their unique ability to maintain an active Stargate indefinitely and their force field capabilities, the President has authorized any and all means to complete the mission.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Oh, boy. And here I was trying to have a nuke free career.
[Mitchell, Carter, Daniel, and Teal'c set off on their first mission together, with Vala]
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: How good is this? Got the band back together!
Lt. Colonel Carter: [looking at Vala] Yeah, so what's with the extra back-up singer?
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Oh, she's good fun.
Dr. Jackson: [pulling Vala's scarf off her neck] Vala, this is a military vessel.
Vala: I know, darling. I've stolen it before.
Dr. Jackson: Well, just try to be, uh…
Vala: My charming self?
Dr. Jackson: Just a little less talk; a little more shut the hell up.
Dr. Jackson: The next idea we come up with has to be outside the box.
Lt. Colonel Carter: Okay, the gate is composed of individual units. The—There must be some sort of energy linkage between them, like a—like a chain.
Vala: Exactly, so we—
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: So we need a big ol' set of bolt cutters.
Dr. Jackson: Oooh. Too far outside the
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Witnesses?
Dr. Jackson: One. Some guy who was working overtime, spent most of the firefight under his desk, but was able to provide the descriptions of three individuals: big, tattooed, chain mail pants.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: So it's either our Jaffa, or KISS is back on tour.
Dr. Jackson: One. Some guy who was working overtime, spent most of the firefight under his desk, but was able to provide the descriptions of three individuals: big, tattooed, chain mail pants.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: So it's either our Jaffa, or KISS is back on tour.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: [imitating Teal'c] "The Warriors of the Sodan exist, Colonel Mitchell. I am certain of it."
Dr. Jackson: Needs more bass.
Sgt. Harriman: Receiving an IDC, sir. It's Colonel Mitchell.
Dr. Jackson: You're kidding.
Sgt. Harriman: I would never do that, sir.
Volnek: Oh, we have unfinished business.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Hey, take it easy.
Volnek: You shot me!
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: You shot me first!
Jolam: You are not tired?
Mitchell: Six weeks' airborne training at Fort Benning-- that's tired. This is nothing. Come on.
Dr. Jackson: Needs more bass.
Sgt. Harriman: Receiving an IDC, sir. It's Colonel Mitchell.
Dr. Jackson: You're kidding.
Sgt. Harriman: I would never do that, sir.
Volnek: Oh, we have unfinished business.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Hey, take it easy.
Volnek: You shot me!
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: You shot me first!
Jolam: You are not tired?
Mitchell: Six weeks' airborne training at Fort Benning-- that's tired. This is nothing. Come on.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Carter realizes why the Stargate is malfunctioning]
Lt. Colonel Carter: Huh. Maybe it wasn't our fault.
Dr. Jackson: I thought it was always our fault.
[SG-1 is exploring an abandoned Goa'uld lab]
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: [approaching weird technology] There is someone home.
Dr. Jackson: Wa-wait!
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: [touches button] What? I was looking for the light switch.
Dr. Jackson: [shining his flashlight at Mitchell] New guy!
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: [indicating a computer] Hey, you touched that!
Dr. Jackson: Ah, I know how to read that!
[Regarding Khalek]
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: I shot him twice point blank.
Dr. Lam: And he's healing. Remarkably fast.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: I should have emptied the clip.
Lt. Colonel Carter: Huh. Maybe it wasn't our fault.
Dr. Jackson: I thought it was always our fault.
[SG-1 is exploring an abandoned Goa'uld lab]
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: [approaching weird technology] There is someone home.
Dr. Jackson: Wa-wait!
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: [touches button] What? I was looking for the light switch.
Dr. Jackson: [shining his flashlight at Mitchell] New guy!
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: [indicating a computer] Hey, you touched that!
Dr. Jackson: Ah, I know how to read that!
[Regarding Khalek]
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: I shot him twice point blank.
Dr. Lam: And he's healing. Remarkably fast.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: I should have emptied the clip.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
General Landry: Colonel Carter, I've read your proposal.
Lt. Colonel Carter: And?
General Landry: And I'm not exactly sure what an aneurysm feels like, but I suspect I'm pretty close.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: I'm glad I'm not the only one.
Lt. Colonel Carter: And?
General Landry: And I'm not exactly sure what an aneurysm feels like, but I suspect I'm pretty close.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: I'm glad I'm not the only one.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Lee: Why didn't you just tell him we'd come up with a viable method for cold fusion while you were at it?!
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Lee: I admit it's a pretty sound theory. Pardon the pun. [chuckles] Ultra-sonic waves. [laughs] Uhh, that's good. Anyway...
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Lee: Well, trying to achieve something as specific as isolating one small part of the brain is like...it's like... trying to...do something...that's impossible.
Lt. Colonel Carter: Good analogy.
Lt. Colonel Carter: Good analogy.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Prior: It makes no difference what you do to me. But know this: The Ori are all-seeing! They are already aware of this... affront to their eminence and shall strike down those who defy them.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: [shrugs] Nothing yet, you?
Dr. Jackson: Drawing a blank. [pause] A little thirsty.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: That doesn't count.
Dr. Jackson: No, it doesn't.
Prior: Their movements are not so easily divined. Their ways are unseen and veiled in mystery.
Dr. Jackson: Right, right, they have a "plan". (Mitchell makes the "air quotes" sign.) Don't suppose you want to tell us what that plan is? For example, why did they send you to this galaxy in the first place?
Prior: We are beacons on the road to enlightenment.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: No, you are dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen, but unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.
Dr. Jackson: Nice work on the metaphor.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Thank You.
Dr. Jackson: For starters: Did you know, the Ori need people to worship them to gain their power?
[Prior says nothing]
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: He didn't know...
Dr. Jackson: No, he didn't know that. [to Prior] No, it's true.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: [shrugs] Nothing yet, you?
Dr. Jackson: Drawing a blank. [pause] A little thirsty.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: That doesn't count.
Dr. Jackson: No, it doesn't.
Prior: Their movements are not so easily divined. Their ways are unseen and veiled in mystery.
Dr. Jackson: Right, right, they have a "plan". (Mitchell makes the "air quotes" sign.) Don't suppose you want to tell us what that plan is? For example, why did they send you to this galaxy in the first place?
Prior: We are beacons on the road to enlightenment.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: No, you are dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen, but unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.
Dr. Jackson: Nice work on the metaphor.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Thank You.
Dr. Jackson: For starters: Did you know, the Ori need people to worship them to gain their power?
[Prior says nothing]
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: He didn't know...
Dr. Jackson: No, he didn't know that. [to Prior] No, it's true.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Lt. Colonel Mitchell is interrogating a Prior as General Landry arrives]
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: General, we were just exchanging recipes.
General Landry: Has the prisoner offered anything?
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: No sir, the man doesn't even have a decent pie crust.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: General, we were just exchanging recipes.
General Landry: Has the prisoner offered anything?
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: No sir, the man doesn't even have a decent pie crust.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1