Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby Quotes
Ricky Bobby: This is Ricky Bobby.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: And I'm Cal Naughton Junior.
Ricky Bobby: Urging you not to go to Tijuana.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: And I'm Cal Naughton Junior.
Ricky Bobby: Urging you not to go to Tijuana.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Chip: I can't hold my tongue. These kids are my grandchildren and you are raising them wrong. They are *terrible* boys!
Walker: Shut up, Chip, or I'll go ape-**** on your ass!
Texas Ranger: I'm gonna scissor-kick you in the back of the head!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Yeah!
Ricky Bobby: Yeah! Now turn up the heat!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Go on and get some, boys!
Ricky Bobby: Come on!
Walker: I'm ten years old, but I'll beat your ass!
Texas Ranger: Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Like a spider monkey! Go on!
Ricky Bobby: Chip, you brought this on, man.
Walker: Greatest Generation my ass. Tom Brokaw's a punk!
Chip: What is wrong with you?
Texas Ranger: Chip, I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!
Walker: Shut up, Chip, or I'll go ape-**** on your ass!
Texas Ranger: I'm gonna scissor-kick you in the back of the head!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Yeah!
Ricky Bobby: Yeah! Now turn up the heat!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Go on and get some, boys!
Ricky Bobby: Come on!
Walker: I'm ten years old, but I'll beat your ass!
Texas Ranger: Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Like a spider monkey! Go on!
Ricky Bobby: Chip, you brought this on, man.
Walker: Greatest Generation my ass. Tom Brokaw's a punk!
Chip: What is wrong with you?
Texas Ranger: Chip, I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby: Wow. I feel like I'm Highlander!
Jean Girard: [Jean chuckles, confused] What is the Highlander?
Ricky Bobby: It's a movie. It won the Academy Award.
Jean Girard: Oh for what?
Ricky Bobby: Best movie ever made.
Jean Girard: [Jean chuckles, confused] What is the Highlander?
Ricky Bobby: It's a movie. It won the Academy Award.
Jean Girard: Oh for what?
Ricky Bobby: Best movie ever made.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Chip: I can't hold my tongue. These kids are my grandchildren and you are raising them wrong. They are *terrible* boys!
Walker: Shut up, Chip, or I'll go ape-shit on your ass!
Texas Ranger: I'm gonna scissor-kick you in the back of the head!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Yeah!
Ricky Bobby: Yeah! Now turn up the heat!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Go on and get some, boys!
Ricky Bobby: Come on!
Walker: I'm ten years old, but I'll beat your ass!
Texas Ranger: Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Like a spider monkey! Go on!
Ricky Bobby: Chip, you brought this on, man.
Walker: Greatest Generation my ass. Tom Brokaw's a punk!
Chip: What is wrong with you?
Texas Ranger: Chip, I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!
Walker: Shut up, Chip, or I'll go ape-shit on your ass!
Texas Ranger: I'm gonna scissor-kick you in the back of the head!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Yeah!
Ricky Bobby: Yeah! Now turn up the heat!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Go on and get some, boys!
Ricky Bobby: Come on!
Walker: I'm ten years old, but I'll beat your ass!
Texas Ranger: Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Like a spider monkey! Go on!
Ricky Bobby: Chip, you brought this on, man.
Walker: Greatest Generation my ass. Tom Brokaw's a punk!
Chip: What is wrong with you?
Texas Ranger: Chip, I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Schoolteacher: Okay, next up is Ricky Bobby. Ricky, is your father here?
10-year-old Ricky: No, ma'am. I haven't seen my daddy in years. But, my mama say he's out racing cars, and, well, dipping his wick in anything that moves.
[classmates laugh at what Ricky said]
Schoolteacher: Okay, kids, that's enough. Were gonna move on to Brennan.
10-Year-Old Cal: Don't pay them no mind, Ricky.
10-year-old Ricky: Thanks, Cal. Shake and Bake. You'll be my best friend forever.
10-year-old Ricky: No, ma'am. I haven't seen my daddy in years. But, my mama say he's out racing cars, and, well, dipping his wick in anything that moves.
[classmates laugh at what Ricky said]
Schoolteacher: Okay, kids, that's enough. Were gonna move on to Brennan.
10-Year-Old Cal: Don't pay them no mind, Ricky.
10-year-old Ricky: Thanks, Cal. Shake and Bake. You'll be my best friend forever.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Cal Naughton, Jr.: [on the telephone] Ricky, I think your house is haunted.
Ricky Bobby: Cal, that is a new house! It just has a lot of creaks and moans and groans in it!
[pauses]
Ricky Bobby: Why the hell am I even talking to you anyway?
Ricky Bobby: Cal, that is a new house! It just has a lot of creaks and moans and groans in it!
[pauses]
Ricky Bobby: Why the hell am I even talking to you anyway?
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby: [Television commercial] I'm Ricky Bobby. If you don't chew Big Red, then **** you.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Susan: Ricky Bobby is not a thinker. Ricky Bobby is a driver!
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Jean Girard: My husband Gregory and I want what any couple wants. To retire to Stockholm and develop a currency for dogs and cats to use.
Ricky Bobby: That's Dumb
Jean Girard: Why is it dumb?
Ricky Bobby: Nah that's dumb
Ricky Bobby: That's Dumb
Jean Girard: Why is it dumb?
Ricky Bobby: Nah that's dumb
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby: Hey. I'm Ricky Bobby. Christmas is right around the corner. And what better gift to give a loved one, than the Jackhawk 9000. Avaible at WalMart.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Susan: Hi, I'm his lady. I'm Susan. I painted the car, I... we had sex.
Reese Bobby: Is that right?
Susan, Ricky Bobby: Yeah.
Reese Bobby: Well, I wish I coulda been there for that.
Reese Bobby: Is that right?
Susan, Ricky Bobby: Yeah.
Reese Bobby: Well, I wish I coulda been there for that.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Mike Joy: [after a dramatic crash] Car comes to rest; upside down in a big cloud of smoke. Ricky Bobby appears to be okay, but that Wonder Bread car is toast.
Larry Dennit, Jr.: [watching the crash] Wow. Fantasic!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Oh my God! Ricky!
Larry Dennit, Jr.: [watching the crash] Wow. Fantasic!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Oh my God! Ricky!
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Reese Bobby: Yep, I guess things are just about perfect... it's making me feel kind of itchy...
Ricky Bobby: How 'bout we go get kicked out of an Applebee's?
Ricky Bobby: How 'bout we go get kicked out of an Applebee's?
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Mike Joy: [after a dramatic crash] Car comes to rest; upside down in a big cloud of smoke. Ricky Bobby appears to be okay, but that Wonder Bread car is toast.
Larry Dennit, Jr.: [watching the crash] Wow. Fantasic!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Oh my God! Ricky!
Larry Dennit, Jr.: [watching the crash] Wow. Fantasic!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Oh my God! Ricky!
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Reese Bobby: Yep, I guess things are just about perfect... it's making me feel kind of itchy...
Ricky Bobby: How 'bout we go get kicked out of an Applebee's?
Ricky Bobby: How 'bout we go get kicked out of an Applebee's?
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby: Dear Lord Baby Jesus, I want to thank you for this wonderful meal, my two beautiful son's, Walker and Texas Ranger, and my Red-Hot Smokin' Wife, Carley
Carley Bobby: [raises hands] Woo!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Mhmm!
Walker: [Along with Texas Ranger] Ow.
Carley Bobby: [raises hands] Woo!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Mhmm!
Walker: [Along with Texas Ranger] Ow.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby: [after seeing the couger in the car] Where did you get it?
Reese Bobby: I trapped it. I've been keeping it in the bathroom in my motel room.
Reese Bobby: I trapped it. I've been keeping it in the bathroom in my motel room.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby: [after a girl flashes him] Please be 18.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby: Wow. I feel like I'm in Highlander!
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby: It felt like I was on a spaceship...
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby: [while signing autographs] I'd love to sign your baby!
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby: You can't have two number ones.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Yeah, 'cause that would be eleven.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Yeah, 'cause that would be eleven.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby: Dear little baby Jesus, who's sittin' in his crib watchin the Baby Einstein videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors. I would like to thank you for bringin' me and my moma together, and also that my kids no longer sound like retarded gang-bangers.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby: How was school today, boys?
Walker: I threw a bunch of Grandpa Chip's war medals off the bridge.
Chip: I can't hold my tongue. These kids are my grandchildren, and you are raising them wrong
Walker: Shut up Chip, or I'll go ape **** on your ass!
Texas Ranger: Yeah, Chip, Momma says I should kick you in the back of the head!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Yeah! Go on and get some boys!
Texas Ranger: I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!
Walker: I may be 10 years old but I'll beat your ass!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Go and get some, boys.
Texas Ranger: I'm all hopped up on Mountain Dew!
Walker: I threw a bunch of Grandpa Chip's war medals off the bridge.
Chip: I can't hold my tongue. These kids are my grandchildren, and you are raising them wrong
Walker: Shut up Chip, or I'll go ape **** on your ass!
Texas Ranger: Yeah, Chip, Momma says I should kick you in the back of the head!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Yeah! Go on and get some boys!
Texas Ranger: I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!
Walker: I may be 10 years old but I'll beat your ass!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Go and get some, boys.
Texas Ranger: I'm all hopped up on Mountain Dew!
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby: The room's startin' to spin... 'cause of the gayness...
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Crew Chief: Cal, Ricky's passing you.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Do you think Ricky is passing me in my subconscious?
Crew Chief: No, he's actually passing you. That's happening right now.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Do you think Ricky is passing me in my subconscious?
Crew Chief: No, he's actually passing you. That's happening right now.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Susan: Hi, I'm Susan. I painted the car, I... we had sex.
Reese Bobby: Well, I wish I coulda been there for that.
Reese Bobby: Well, I wish I coulda been there for that.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Cal Naughton, Jr.: I like to think of Jesus as an Ice Dancer, dressed in an all-white jumpsuit, and doing an interpretive dance of my life.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
[very last lines after the credits]
Texas Ranger: Great analysis Walker
Walker: Thanks
Texas Ranger: Great analysis Walker
Walker: Thanks
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Herschell: Yeah? Well we invented the missionary position... You're welcome.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby