Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby Quotes
Ricky Bobby: [television commercial] Hi, I'm Ricky Bobby. If you don't chew Big Red, then f-*bleep* you.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Lucius Washington: You're not gonna live forever.
Ricky Bobby: No one lives forever, no one. But with advances in modern science and my high level income, it's not crazy to think I can live to be 245, maybe 300. Heck, I just read in the newspaper that they put a pig heart in some guy from Russia. Do you know what that means?
Lucius Washington: No, I don't know what that means. I guess longer life.
Ricky Bobby: No, he didn't live. It's just exciting that we're trying things like that.
Ricky Bobby: No one lives forever, no one. But with advances in modern science and my high level income, it's not crazy to think I can live to be 245, maybe 300. Heck, I just read in the newspaper that they put a pig heart in some guy from Russia. Do you know what that means?
Lucius Washington: No, I don't know what that means. I guess longer life.
Ricky Bobby: No, he didn't live. It's just exciting that we're trying things like that.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Jean Girard: My husband Gregory and I want what any couple wants. To retire to Stockholm and develop a currency for dogs and cats to use.
Ricky Bobby: That's Dumb
Jean Girard: Why is it dumb?
Ricky Bobby: Nah that's dumb
Ricky Bobby: That's Dumb
Jean Girard: Why is it dumb?
Ricky Bobby: Nah that's dumb
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby: [television commercial] Hey. I'm Ricky Bobby. When you're workin' on your mysterious lady parts and stuff, you should have the right tools too. That's why you should use... MayPax. The official tampon of NASCAR.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby: Holding hands with a man makes me terribly uncomfortable.
Jean Girard: It's a sign of friendship in many countries.
Ricky Bobby: Well, not here.
Jean Girard: There is nothing sexual about it. Please don't be worried about the fact that I have an erection. Its has nothing to do with you.
Jean Girard: It's a sign of friendship in many countries.
Ricky Bobby: Well, not here.
Jean Girard: There is nothing sexual about it. Please don't be worried about the fact that I have an erection. Its has nothing to do with you.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby: Losing is never fun, but here's a little something to keep your spirits up.
[extending middle finger]
Ricky Bobby: It's real nice, I got it at Target. It was on sale.
[extending middle finger]
Ricky Bobby: It's real nice, I got it at Target. It was on sale.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Did he just say husband?
Herschell: Wow... Dennit hired a gay French guy as your teammate!
Ricky Bobby: The room's startin to spin... cause of all the gayness. Cal... I love you
[Ricky faints]
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Ricky! OH GOD!
Herschell: Wow... Dennit hired a gay French guy as your teammate!
Ricky Bobby: The room's startin to spin... cause of all the gayness. Cal... I love you
[Ricky faints]
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Ricky! OH GOD!
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Reese Bobby: [Sees his son for the first time in a long time] Ricky! How long has it been, three months?
10-year-old Ricky: Ten years.
Reese Bobby: Woah, I better lay off the peyote!
10-year-old Ricky: Ten years.
Reese Bobby: Woah, I better lay off the peyote!
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Oh and one last question.
Ricky Bobby: Yeah?
Cal Naughton, Jr.: When you have the stereo on, at the same time as the TV, how do you control the volume on the TV?
Ricky Bobby: Why would you want to watch TV with the stereo on?
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Cause I like to party.
Ricky Bobby: Yeah?
Cal Naughton, Jr.: When you have the stereo on, at the same time as the TV, how do you control the volume on the TV?
Ricky Bobby: Why would you want to watch TV with the stereo on?
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Cause I like to party.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
[on Ricky's new 'corporate sponsor']
Susan: "Me" is you. Because it's just you out there. We don't have any corporate sponsors, we don't have any fancy team owners. We have you. And this car, and this cougar, which symbolizes the fear that you have overcome. It's all there for you.
Glenn: Ricky, this car is like your Excalibur, the mighty sword that Sir Lancelot used to bring together the Knights of the Round Table, until Lancelot betrayed him by laying with his queen...
[whispers suggestively]
Glenn: ... in the biblical sense.
Ricky Bobby: Okay, Glenn. Everything cool that Susan said, you wrecked it.
Susan: "Me" is you. Because it's just you out there. We don't have any corporate sponsors, we don't have any fancy team owners. We have you. And this car, and this cougar, which symbolizes the fear that you have overcome. It's all there for you.
Glenn: Ricky, this car is like your Excalibur, the mighty sword that Sir Lancelot used to bring together the Knights of the Round Table, until Lancelot betrayed him by laying with his queen...
[whispers suggestively]
Glenn: ... in the biblical sense.
Ricky Bobby: Okay, Glenn. Everything cool that Susan said, you wrecked it.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Lucy Bobby: So how was your day driving with you father?
Ricky Bobby: Well let's see. I got mauled by a cougar, my Crystal Gayle shirt is ruined, and I didn't learn dick about driving. Other than that, it was great.
Ricky Bobby: Well let's see. I got mauled by a cougar, my Crystal Gayle shirt is ruined, and I didn't learn dick about driving. Other than that, it was great.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby: Dear Lord Baby Jesus, I want to thank you for this wonderful meal, my two beautiful son's, Walker and Texas Ranger, and my Red-Hot Smokin' Wife, Carley
Carley Bobby: [raises hands] Woo!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Mhmm!
Walker: [along with Texas Ranger] Ow.
Carley Bobby: [raises hands] Woo!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Mhmm!
Walker: [along with Texas Ranger] Ow.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Lucy Bobby: So how was your day driving with you father?
Ricky Bobby: Well let's see. I got mauled by a cougar, my Crystal Gayle shirt is ruined, and I didn't learn dick about driving. Other than that, it was great.
Ricky Bobby: Well let's see. I got mauled by a cougar, my Crystal Gayle shirt is ruined, and I didn't learn dick about driving. Other than that, it was great.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Bill Weber: Now let's go to John Hannafin, who's in the stands with a country music legend.
John Hannafin: Thank you, Sean. I'm here with one of the greatest country music stars of all-time, Kenny Rogers. Kenny, what do you think of the race so far?
Kenny Rogers: [obviously not Kenny Rogers] It's good, they're going real fast.
Bill Weber: John, that's not Kenny Rogers.
John Hannafin: In the song "The Gambler", you sang "You gotta know when to walk away and know when to run." Should Ricky Bobby have stayed away from racing?
Kenny Rogers: Mr. Bobby's very competitive. If he wants to race, he should race.
John Hannafin: Well, this is John Hannafin with Kenny Rogers. And now back to you, Bill.
Bill Weber: Well, that, of course, was not Kenny Rogers.
Benny Parsons: Not even close!
John Hannafin: Thank you, Sean. I'm here with one of the greatest country music stars of all-time, Kenny Rogers. Kenny, what do you think of the race so far?
Kenny Rogers: [obviously not Kenny Rogers] It's good, they're going real fast.
Bill Weber: John, that's not Kenny Rogers.
John Hannafin: In the song "The Gambler", you sang "You gotta know when to walk away and know when to run." Should Ricky Bobby have stayed away from racing?
Kenny Rogers: Mr. Bobby's very competitive. If he wants to race, he should race.
John Hannafin: Well, this is John Hannafin with Kenny Rogers. And now back to you, Bill.
Bill Weber: Well, that, of course, was not Kenny Rogers.
Benny Parsons: Not even close!
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby: [after seeing the cougar in the car] Where did you get it?
Reese Bobby: I trapped it. I've been keeping it in the bathroom in my motel room.
Reese Bobby: I trapped it. I've been keeping it in the bathroom in my motel room.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby: How 'bout we go get kicked out of our Applebee's?
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Jean Girard: You taste of America.
Ricky Bobby: Thank you.
Ricky Bobby: Thank you.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby: Big Red... If you ain't chewin it... then f(beep) You
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby: Well, Let me give you a saying from Colonel Sanders. I am too drunk to taste this chicken
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Lucius Washington: Okay, we have got to get that car back onto the race track or our sponsors are gonna **** a chicken. Now I'm gonna ask you: do any of you guys wanna go fast?
Ricky Bobby: I wanna go fast!
Ricky Bobby: I wanna go fast!
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby: [while signing autographs] I'd love to sign your baby!
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby: Dear 8 pounds 6 ounces baby Jesus, new born, not even spoken a word yet.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby: Did that blow your mind, because that just happened.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby: You can't have two number ones.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Yeah, 'cause that would be eleven.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Yeah, 'cause that would be eleven.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Lucius Washington: Don't you put that evil on us, Ricky Bobby!
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby: I'm embarrassed. I really thought I could feel it.
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby: I will not shake your hand, but I will give you this
[kisses Jean Girard]
[kisses Jean Girard]
Movie: Talladega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby