The Big Bang Theory Quotes
Sheldon: Engineering—where the semi-skilled laborers execute the vision of those who think and dream. Hello Oompa-Loompas of science.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Sheldon: At this point I should inform you that I intend to form my own team, and destroy the molecular bonds that bind your very matter together, and reduce the resulting particulate chaos to tears.
Leonard: Thanks for the heads up.
Sheldon: You're welcome. [starts to leave] One more thing.
Leonard: Yes?
Sheldon: It's on, bitch.
Leonard: Thanks for the heads up.
Sheldon: You're welcome. [starts to leave] One more thing.
Leonard: Yes?
Sheldon: It's on, bitch.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Leslie: Hello, Sheldon.
Sheldon: [looks terrified] Leslie Winkle!
Leslie: Yeah, Leslie Winkle! The answer to the question, "Who made Sheldon Cooper cry like a little girl?".
Sheldon: Yes, well, I'm polymerized tree sap and you're an inorganic adhesive, so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off of me, returns on its original trajectory and adheres to you.
Leslie: [sarcastically] Ooooh...ouch.
Sheldon: [looks terrified] Leslie Winkle!
Leslie: Yeah, Leslie Winkle! The answer to the question, "Who made Sheldon Cooper cry like a little girl?".
Sheldon: Yes, well, I'm polymerized tree sap and you're an inorganic adhesive, so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off of me, returns on its original trajectory and adheres to you.
Leslie: [sarcastically] Ooooh...ouch.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Leonard: [about the time machine] The lights flash, and the dish spins. You wanna try it?
Penny: No, I don't wanna try it! My God, you are grown men! How could you waste your lives with these stupid toys and costumes, and comic books, and-and... now that-that...
Sheldon: Again—time machine.
Penny: Oh, please, that's not a time machine. If anything, it looks like something Elton John would drive through the Everglades.
Sheldon: It only moves in time. It would be less than worthless in a swamp.
Penny: Pathetic! ALL of you, COMPLETELY pathetic!
Penny: No, I don't wanna try it! My God, you are grown men! How could you waste your lives with these stupid toys and costumes, and comic books, and-and... now that-that...
Sheldon: Again—time machine.
Penny: Oh, please, that's not a time machine. If anything, it looks like something Elton John would drive through the Everglades.
Sheldon: It only moves in time. It would be less than worthless in a swamp.
Penny: Pathetic! ALL of you, COMPLETELY pathetic!
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Penny: [to Leonard] Look, you are a great guy, and it is the things you love that make you who you are.
Howard: I guess that makes me large breasts..
Howard: I guess that makes me large breasts..
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Leonard: So, how do you two know each other?
Missy: Oh, he once spent nine months with my legs wrapped around his head.
Leonard: Excuse me?
Sheldon: She's my twin sister. She thinks she's funny, but frankly, I've never been able to see it.
Missy: That's because you have no measurable sense of humor, Shelly.
Sheldon: How exactly would one measure a sense of humor? A 'humormometer'?
Missy: Oh, he once spent nine months with my legs wrapped around his head.
Leonard: Excuse me?
Sheldon: She's my twin sister. She thinks she's funny, but frankly, I've never been able to see it.
Missy: That's because you have no measurable sense of humor, Shelly.
Sheldon: How exactly would one measure a sense of humor? A 'humormometer'?
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Raj: Missy, do you enjoy pajamas?
Missy: I guess.
Raj: We Indians invented them. You're welcome.
Howard: Yeah, well, my people invented circumcision. You're welcome.
Penny: Missy I'm going to go get my nails done. Would you like to come?
Missy: God yes. Thanks.
Penny: You're welcome.
Missy: I guess.
Raj: We Indians invented them. You're welcome.
Howard: Yeah, well, my people invented circumcision. You're welcome.
Penny: Missy I'm going to go get my nails done. Would you like to come?
Missy: God yes. Thanks.
Penny: You're welcome.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Leonard: My parents focused on celebrating achievements, and my being expelled from a birth canal was not considered one of them.
Penny: That's so silly.
Sheldon: It's actually based on very sound theories; his mother published a paper on it.
Penny: What was it called, I Hate My Son and That's Why He Can't Have Cake?
Sheldon: It was obviously very effective. Leonard grew up to become an experimental physicist. Perhaps if she also denied him Christmas, he'd be a little better at it.
Leonard: Thank you.
Howard: Well, I love birthdays: waking up to mom's special French Toast breakfast, wearing the birthday king crown, playing laser tag with all my friends...
Penny: Yeah! See? That's what kids should have!
Howard: Actually, that was last year...
Penny: That's so silly.
Sheldon: It's actually based on very sound theories; his mother published a paper on it.
Penny: What was it called, I Hate My Son and That's Why He Can't Have Cake?
Sheldon: It was obviously very effective. Leonard grew up to become an experimental physicist. Perhaps if she also denied him Christmas, he'd be a little better at it.
Leonard: Thank you.
Howard: Well, I love birthdays: waking up to mom's special French Toast breakfast, wearing the birthday king crown, playing laser tag with all my friends...
Penny: Yeah! See? That's what kids should have!
Howard: Actually, that was last year...
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Penny: [on phone] How about this: you keep him there a little longer, and when you get to the party, I'll point out which of my friends are easy.
Howard: [long pause] Don't toy with me, woman.
Penny: I've got a hot former fat girl with no self-esteem, I got a girl who punishes her father by sleeping around, and an alcoholic who's two tequila shots away from letting you wear her like a hat.
Howard: Thy will be done. [Hangs up, takes out granola bar with peanuts, to which he is allergic, and looks to his crotch] I'm doing this for you, little buddy.
Howard: [long pause] Don't toy with me, woman.
Penny: I've got a hot former fat girl with no self-esteem, I got a girl who punishes her father by sleeping around, and an alcoholic who's two tequila shots away from letting you wear her like a hat.
Howard: Thy will be done. [Hangs up, takes out granola bar with peanuts, to which he is allergic, and looks to his crotch] I'm doing this for you, little buddy.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Sheldon: Leonard, you have to do something about Penny. She's interfering with my sleep, she's interfering with my work...and if I had another significant aspect of my life, I'm sure she'd be interfering with that, too.
Leonard: Why should I do something? You're the one who introduced her to online gaming.
Sheldon: Yes, but you're the one who said hello to her when she moved in. If you'd simply restrained yourself, none of this would be happening.
Leonard: Why don't you just tell her to leave you alone?
Sheldon: I did! I told her, I texted her, I sent out a very emphatic Twitter, I even changed my Facebook status to "Sheldon Cooper wishes Penny would leave him alone"! I don't know what else to do!
Leonard: Well, what am I supposed to to?
Sheldon: I don't know, but if you don't figure something out, I warn you, I shall become very difficult to live with!
Leonard: You mean up until now we've been experiencing the happy, fun-time Sheldon?
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: I'll go talk to her!
Leonard: Why should I do something? You're the one who introduced her to online gaming.
Sheldon: Yes, but you're the one who said hello to her when she moved in. If you'd simply restrained yourself, none of this would be happening.
Leonard: Why don't you just tell her to leave you alone?
Sheldon: I did! I told her, I texted her, I sent out a very emphatic Twitter, I even changed my Facebook status to "Sheldon Cooper wishes Penny would leave him alone"! I don't know what else to do!
Leonard: Well, what am I supposed to to?
Sheldon: I don't know, but if you don't figure something out, I warn you, I shall become very difficult to live with!
Leonard: You mean up until now we've been experiencing the happy, fun-time Sheldon?
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: I'll go talk to her!
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Leonard[while Howard is teaching Sheldon Mandarin] Why are you learning Chinese?
Sheldon: I believe the Szechuan Palace has been passing off Orange Chicken as Tangerine Chicken, and I intend to confront them.
Leonard: If I were you, I'd be more concerned about what they're passing off as chicken.
[Penny comes in with an iPod in her hand.]
Penny: I need to use your window.
Leonard: Oh yeah, sure. Go ahead.
Penny: [opening the window and throwing the iPod out of it] Hey, jerkface! You forgot your iPod!
Leonard: [as Penny closes the window and starts to leave] What's going on?
Penny: Oh, I'll tell you what's going on: that stupid, self-centered bastard [her ex-boyfriend] wrote about our sex life in his blog! [going back to the window and reopening it] Drop dead, you stupid, self-centered bastard! [closing the window] Thank you. [leaves]
Sheldon: [after a short pause, wanting to go back to the Mandarin lessons] Okay, where were we?
Howard: [going to the computer] Not now. I have a blog to find.
Sheldon: I believe the Szechuan Palace has been passing off Orange Chicken as Tangerine Chicken, and I intend to confront them.
Leonard: If I were you, I'd be more concerned about what they're passing off as chicken.
[Penny comes in with an iPod in her hand.]
Penny: I need to use your window.
Leonard: Oh yeah, sure. Go ahead.
Penny: [opening the window and throwing the iPod out of it] Hey, jerkface! You forgot your iPod!
Leonard: [as Penny closes the window and starts to leave] What's going on?
Penny: Oh, I'll tell you what's going on: that stupid, self-centered bastard [her ex-boyfriend] wrote about our sex life in his blog! [going back to the window and reopening it] Drop dead, you stupid, self-centered bastard! [closing the window] Thank you. [leaves]
Sheldon: [after a short pause, wanting to go back to the Mandarin lessons] Okay, where were we?
Howard: [going to the computer] Not now. I have a blog to find.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
[While Sheldon is listening to a tape, Penny comes from behind and touches his shoulder, which scares him.]
Penny: Sorry, Sheldon. Do you have a second?
Sheldon: A second what? Pair of underwear?
Penny: Sorry, Sheldon. Do you have a second?
Sheldon: A second what? Pair of underwear?
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Penny: Has Leonard ever dated any regular girls?
Sheldon: Well, I assume that you're not talking about digestive regularity, because I've come to learn that such inquiries are inappropriate.
Penny: No, I mean has he ever dated someone who wasn't a brainiac?
Sheldon: Oh, well there was this one girl who had a PhD in French Literature.
Penny: How is that not a brainiac?
Sheldon: Well, for one thing, she was French. For another, it was literature.
Sheldon: Well, I assume that you're not talking about digestive regularity, because I've come to learn that such inquiries are inappropriate.
Penny: No, I mean has he ever dated someone who wasn't a brainiac?
Sheldon: Oh, well there was this one girl who had a PhD in French Literature.
Penny: How is that not a brainiac?
Sheldon: Well, for one thing, she was French. For another, it was literature.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Raj: We just got back from that exhibit of those plasticized cadavers.
Howard: Some of those skinless chicks were hot.
Sheldon: If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to pack.
Howard: That’s kind of an overreaction to a little harmless necrophilia.
Leonard: It’s not you, Howard. He says he’s moving out.
Raj: What did you do? Did you change the contrast or brightness settings on the television?
Leonard: No.
Raj: Did you take a Band-Aid off in front of him?
Leonard: No.
Howard: Did you buy generic ketchup? Forget to rinse the sink? Talk to him through the bathroom door?
Raj: Adjust the thermostat? Cook with cilantro? Pronounce the ‘T’ in often?
Leonard: No.
Howard: Did you make fun of trains?
Leonard: I didn’t do anything, he’s just gone insane.
Howard: Well, we all knew this day was coming.
[Sheldon reappears with his bag packed]
Leonard: That was fast.
Sheldon: It’s my pre-packed disaster evacuation bag. It's recommended by the Department of Homeland Security. And Sarah Connor.
Howard: Some of those skinless chicks were hot.
Sheldon: If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to pack.
Howard: That’s kind of an overreaction to a little harmless necrophilia.
Leonard: It’s not you, Howard. He says he’s moving out.
Raj: What did you do? Did you change the contrast or brightness settings on the television?
Leonard: No.
Raj: Did you take a Band-Aid off in front of him?
Leonard: No.
Howard: Did you buy generic ketchup? Forget to rinse the sink? Talk to him through the bathroom door?
Raj: Adjust the thermostat? Cook with cilantro? Pronounce the ‘T’ in often?
Leonard: No.
Howard: Did you make fun of trains?
Leonard: I didn’t do anything, he’s just gone insane.
Howard: Well, we all knew this day was coming.
[Sheldon reappears with his bag packed]
Leonard: That was fast.
Sheldon: It’s my pre-packed disaster evacuation bag. It's recommended by the Department of Homeland Security. And Sarah Connor.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Howard: Renaissance fairs aren't about historical accuracy. They're about taking chubby girls who work at Kinko's and lacing them up in corsets so tight, their bosom jumps out and says "Howdy."
Sheldon: Bosoms would not have said "howdy" in the 15th century. If anything, they would have said "huzzah!"
Howard: I don't care what the bosoms say, Sheldon. I just want to be part of the conversation.
Sheldon: Bosoms would not have said "howdy" in the 15th century. If anything, they would have said "huzzah!"
Howard: I don't care what the bosoms say, Sheldon. I just want to be part of the conversation.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Sheldon: Leonard is upstairs right now with my archenemy.
Penny: Your archenemy?
Sheldon: Yes: the Dr. Doom to my Mr. Fantastic, the Dr. Octopus to my Spider-Man, the Dr. Sivana to my Captain Marvel...
Penny: OK, I get it, I get it...
Sheldon: You know, it's amazing how many supervillains have advanced degrees. Graduate schools should do a better job of screening those people out.
Penny: Your archenemy?
Sheldon: Yes: the Dr. Doom to my Mr. Fantastic, the Dr. Octopus to my Spider-Man, the Dr. Sivana to my Captain Marvel...
Penny: OK, I get it, I get it...
Sheldon: You know, it's amazing how many supervillains have advanced degrees. Graduate schools should do a better job of screening those people out.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
[Penny sneaks into Sheldon's room while he is asleep]
Penny: [whispering] Sheldon!
[She walks up to his bed]
Penny: [whispering] Sheldon.
Sheldon: [Jerking awake] Danger! Danger!
Penny: Sheldon, it's me.
Sheldon: You're in my bedroom.
Penny: I need your help.
Sheldon: People can't be in my bedroom.
Penny: Well, can we talk in the living room?
Sheldon: I'm not wearing any pajama bottoms.
Penny: Well, why not?
Sheldon: I spilled grape juice.
Penny: Well, can't you put on other pajamas?
Sheldon: I can't put on other pajamas, these are my Monday pajamas! Penny, people aren't supposed to be in my bedroom!
Penny: [whispering] Sheldon!
[She walks up to his bed]
Penny: [whispering] Sheldon.
Sheldon: [Jerking awake] Danger! Danger!
Penny: Sheldon, it's me.
Sheldon: You're in my bedroom.
Penny: I need your help.
Sheldon: People can't be in my bedroom.
Penny: Well, can we talk in the living room?
Sheldon: I'm not wearing any pajama bottoms.
Penny: Well, why not?
Sheldon: I spilled grape juice.
Penny: Well, can't you put on other pajamas?
Sheldon: I can't put on other pajamas, these are my Monday pajamas! Penny, people aren't supposed to be in my bedroom!
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Gablehauser: Hello, boys.
Raj: Dr. Gablehauser.
Gablehauser: Dr. Koothrappali.
Leonard: Dr. Gablehauser.
Gablehauser: Dr. Hofstadter.
Sheldon: Dr. Gablehauser.
Gablehauser: Dr. Cooper.
Howard: Dr. Gablehauser.
Gablehauser: Mr. Wolowitz
Raj: Dr. Gablehauser.
Gablehauser: Dr. Koothrappali.
Leonard: Dr. Gablehauser.
Gablehauser: Dr. Hofstadter.
Sheldon: Dr. Gablehauser.
Gablehauser: Dr. Cooper.
Howard: Dr. Gablehauser.
Gablehauser: Mr. Wolowitz
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Gablehauser: [talking about Koothrappali's picture in People magazine] And this boy's picture in People magazine is gonna raise us a pile of money taller than…well, taller than you. [pats Howard on the head]
Howard: I have a Master's Degree.
Gablehauser: Who doesn't?
Howard: I have a Master's Degree.
Gablehauser: Who doesn't?
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
[Sheldon is trying Howard's driving simulator - with disastrous results]
Leonard: How did you manage to get on the second floor of the Glendale Galleria?
Sheldon: I don't know, I was on the Pasadena Freeway, missed my exit, flew off the overpass and...one thing led to another.
[Screeching tires are heard from the simulator, followed by a crash and barking and meowing]
Leonard: Awwwwww, the pet store…
Sheldon: Remind me to compliment Wolowitz on the software, it's amazingly detailed.
Leonard: How did you manage to get on the second floor of the Glendale Galleria?
Sheldon: I don't know, I was on the Pasadena Freeway, missed my exit, flew off the overpass and...one thing led to another.
[Screeching tires are heard from the simulator, followed by a crash and barking and meowing]
Leonard: Awwwwww, the pet store…
Sheldon: Remind me to compliment Wolowitz on the software, it's amazingly detailed.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Penny: You know, I gotta ask; why didn't you just get a license at 16 like everybody else?
Sheldon: I was otherwise engaged.
Penny: Doing what?
Sheldon: Examining perturbative amplitudes in N = 4 Supersymmetric Theories, leading to a re-examination of the ultraviolet properties of Multi-loop N = 8 Supergravity using modern Twistor Theory.
Penny: Well, how about when you were 17?
Sheldon: I was otherwise engaged.
Penny: Doing what?
Sheldon: Examining perturbative amplitudes in N = 4 Supersymmetric Theories, leading to a re-examination of the ultraviolet properties of Multi-loop N = 8 Supergravity using modern Twistor Theory.
Penny: Well, how about when you were 17?
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Sheldon: Looking out at your fresh young faces, I remember when I, too, was deciding my academic future as a lowly graduate student. Of course, I was 14, and I had already achieved more than most of you could ever hope to despite my 9: 00 bedtime. Now, there may be one or two of you in this room who has what it takes to succeed in theoretical physics, although it's more likely that you'll spend your scientific careers teaching fifth graders how to make papier-mâché volcanoes with baking soda lava.
Leonard: Oh, good God.
Sheldon: In short, anyone who told you that you would someday be able to make some significant contribution to physics played a cruel trick on you, a cruel trick indeed. Any questions? [No one in the classroom says anything] Of course not. I weep for the future of science; now if you'll excuse me, the latest issue of Batman is out. Come, Leonard. [leaves]
Leonard: [referring to his earlier failed experiment] Laser demonstration's looking pretty good now, huh?
Leonard: Oh, good God.
Sheldon: In short, anyone who told you that you would someday be able to make some significant contribution to physics played a cruel trick on you, a cruel trick indeed. Any questions? [No one in the classroom says anything] Of course not. I weep for the future of science; now if you'll excuse me, the latest issue of Batman is out. Come, Leonard. [leaves]
Leonard: [referring to his earlier failed experiment] Laser demonstration's looking pretty good now, huh?
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Penny: I know this is none of my business, but I just... I have to ask — what's Sheldon's deal?
Leonard: What do you mean, "deal"?
Penny: You know, like, what's his deal? Is it girls…? Guys…? Sock puppets…?
Leonard: Honestly, we've been operating under the assumption that he has no deal.
Penny: Come on, everybody has a deal.
Howard: Not Sheldon. Over the years we've formulated a number of theories about how he might reproduce. I'm an advocate of mitosis.
Penny: I'm sorry?
Howard: I believe one day Sheldon will eat an enormous amount of Thai food and split into two Sheldons.
Leonard: On the other hand, I think Sheldon might be the larval form of his species and someday he'll spin a cocoon and emerge two months later with moth wings and an exoskeleton.
Penny: Okay, well, thanks for the nightmares.
Leonard: What do you mean, "deal"?
Penny: You know, like, what's his deal? Is it girls…? Guys…? Sock puppets…?
Leonard: Honestly, we've been operating under the assumption that he has no deal.
Penny: Come on, everybody has a deal.
Howard: Not Sheldon. Over the years we've formulated a number of theories about how he might reproduce. I'm an advocate of mitosis.
Penny: I'm sorry?
Howard: I believe one day Sheldon will eat an enormous amount of Thai food and split into two Sheldons.
Leonard: On the other hand, I think Sheldon might be the larval form of his species and someday he'll spin a cocoon and emerge two months later with moth wings and an exoskeleton.
Penny: Okay, well, thanks for the nightmares.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
[the guys are playing KlingonBoggle]
Howard: I have "Chorrr",
Sheldon & Raj: Got it.
Howard: "Nekhmakh",
Sheldon & Raj: Yep.
Howard: And "Kreplach".
Raj: Hold on a second, "Kreplach"?
Howard: Yeah.
Raj: That isn't Klingon, it's Yiddish for a meat-filled dumpling!
Howard: Well, as it turns out, it's also a Klingon word.
Leonard: Really? Define it.
Howard: Kreplach: a hearty, Klingon…dumpling.
Raj: Judge's ruling?
Sheldon: [makes thumbs-down gesture] Bilurrrbe! [Klingon for "you are wrong"]
Howard: I have "Chorrr",
Sheldon & Raj: Got it.
Howard: "Nekhmakh",
Sheldon & Raj: Yep.
Howard: And "Kreplach".
Raj: Hold on a second, "Kreplach"?
Howard: Yeah.
Raj: That isn't Klingon, it's Yiddish for a meat-filled dumpling!
Howard: Well, as it turns out, it's also a Klingon word.
Leonard: Really? Define it.
Howard: Kreplach: a hearty, Klingon…dumpling.
Raj: Judge's ruling?
Sheldon: [makes thumbs-down gesture] Bilurrrbe! [Klingon for "you are wrong"]
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Raj: We now have the address of the [America's Next] Top Model house.
Howard: God bless you, Google Street View—registered trademark.
Leonard: Okay, for the record, what you guys are doing is really creepy.
Howard: You know what? If it's creepy to use the Internet, military satellites, and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models so that I can drop in on them unexpectedly, then fine, I'm creepy.
Howard: God bless you, Google Street View—registered trademark.
Leonard: Okay, for the record, what you guys are doing is really creepy.
Howard: You know what? If it's creepy to use the Internet, military satellites, and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models so that I can drop in on them unexpectedly, then fine, I'm creepy.
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Sheldon: Oh, look! Saturn 3 is on.
Raj: I don't want to watch Saturn 3. Deep Space 9 is better.
Sheldon: How is Deep Space 9 better than Saturn 3?
Raj: Simple subtraction will tell you it's six better.
Leonard: Compromise. Watch Babylon 5.
Sheldon: In what sense is that a compromise?
Leonard: Well, 5 is partway between 3 and…never mind.
Raj: I'll tell you what. How about we go 'Rock-Paper-Scissors'?
Sheldon: Ooh, I don't think so. Anecdotal evidence suggests that in the game of 'Rock-Paper-Scissors', players familiar with each other will tie 75-80% of the time due to the limited number of outcomes. I suggest 'Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock'.
Raj: What?
Sheldon: It's very simple. Look -- Scissors cuts Paper, Paper covers Rock. Rock crushes Lizard, Lizard poisons Spock. Spock smashes Scissors, Scissors decapitates Lizard. Lizard eats Paper, Paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, Rock crushes Scissors.
Raj: …Okay. I think I got it.
Sheldon & Raj: Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock! [both play Spock and groan in frustration]
Raj: I don't want to watch Saturn 3. Deep Space 9 is better.
Sheldon: How is Deep Space 9 better than Saturn 3?
Raj: Simple subtraction will tell you it's six better.
Leonard: Compromise. Watch Babylon 5.
Sheldon: In what sense is that a compromise?
Leonard: Well, 5 is partway between 3 and…never mind.
Raj: I'll tell you what. How about we go 'Rock-Paper-Scissors'?
Sheldon: Ooh, I don't think so. Anecdotal evidence suggests that in the game of 'Rock-Paper-Scissors', players familiar with each other will tie 75-80% of the time due to the limited number of outcomes. I suggest 'Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock'.
Raj: What?
Sheldon: It's very simple. Look -- Scissors cuts Paper, Paper covers Rock. Rock crushes Lizard, Lizard poisons Spock. Spock smashes Scissors, Scissors decapitates Lizard. Lizard eats Paper, Paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, Rock crushes Scissors.
Raj: …Okay. I think I got it.
Sheldon & Raj: Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock! [both play Spock and groan in frustration]
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Sheldon: I'm sorry, but I'm not going to watch the Clone Wars TV series until I've seen the Clone Wars movie. I prefer to let George Lucas disappoint me in the order he intended.
Leonard: Well, I wanna watch it now.
Sheldon: Then I believe we've arrived at another quintissential 'Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock' moment.
[Sheldon holds up his fist in preparation to play]
Leonard: Watch whatever you want. [gives Sheldon the remote]
Raj: I saw what you did there.
Sheldon: [confused] What'd I do?
Leonard: Well, I wanna watch it now.
Sheldon: Then I believe we've arrived at another quintissential 'Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock' moment.
[Sheldon holds up his fist in preparation to play]
Leonard: Watch whatever you want. [gives Sheldon the remote]
Raj: I saw what you did there.
Sheldon: [confused] What'd I do?
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Sheldon: [knock-knock-knock] Leonard! [knock-knock-knock] Leonard! [knock-knock-knock] Leonard!
Leonard: What Sheldon? What Sheldon? What Sheldon?
Sheldon: Tell me what you see here. [points to his laptop screen]
Leonard: The blunt instrument that will be the focus of my murder trial?
Sheldon: This is Stephanie's Facebook page. Now where it should say "in a relationship", what does it say?
Leonard: Stephanie Barnett is single.
Sheldon: Furthermore, earlier this evening, she threw a digital sheep at some guy named Mike. Who's Mike? Why does he get a digital sheep and not you?
Leonard: It's just her Facebook page! And we've only been going out a couple of weeks.
Sheldon: You don't see it, do you? We're losing her.
Leonard: OK, I'm going to make this very simple for you. You…are not in this relationship. I…am! Ergo, you have noooo say in anything that happens between me and Stephanie.
Sheldon: I'm afraid I can't allow that. Pursuant to Starfleet General Order 104, Section A, you are deemed unfit, and I hereby relieve you of your command.
Leonard: General Order 104, Section A does not apply in this situation.
Sheldon: Give me one good reason why not.
Leonard: Because this is not Star Trek!
Leonard: What Sheldon? What Sheldon? What Sheldon?
Sheldon: Tell me what you see here. [points to his laptop screen]
Leonard: The blunt instrument that will be the focus of my murder trial?
Sheldon: This is Stephanie's Facebook page. Now where it should say "in a relationship", what does it say?
Leonard: Stephanie Barnett is single.
Sheldon: Furthermore, earlier this evening, she threw a digital sheep at some guy named Mike. Who's Mike? Why does he get a digital sheep and not you?
Leonard: It's just her Facebook page! And we've only been going out a couple of weeks.
Sheldon: You don't see it, do you? We're losing her.
Leonard: OK, I'm going to make this very simple for you. You…are not in this relationship. I…am! Ergo, you have noooo say in anything that happens between me and Stephanie.
Sheldon: I'm afraid I can't allow that. Pursuant to Starfleet General Order 104, Section A, you are deemed unfit, and I hereby relieve you of your command.
Leonard: General Order 104, Section A does not apply in this situation.
Sheldon: Give me one good reason why not.
Leonard: Because this is not Star Trek!
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
[Sheldon is discussing Leonard's failed relationships with Penny]
Sheldon: So what is the "down" and the "low", and don't worry, this is all entirely confidential, so you feel free to include any and all shortcomings in the bedroom.
Penny: We never got to the bedroom.
Sheldon: Because...?
Penny: OK, all right, you know what? I'll tell you what happened. We were young, we were very much in love, but we could only communicate through a time-traveling mailbox at my lake house.
Sheldon: It's not enough that you made me watch that movie, but now you mock me with it?!
Sheldon: So what is the "down" and the "low", and don't worry, this is all entirely confidential, so you feel free to include any and all shortcomings in the bedroom.
Penny: We never got to the bedroom.
Sheldon: Because...?
Penny: OK, all right, you know what? I'll tell you what happened. We were young, we were very much in love, but we could only communicate through a time-traveling mailbox at my lake house.
Sheldon: It's not enough that you made me watch that movie, but now you mock me with it?!
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
Sheldon: Good morning, Dr. Stephanie. I trust Leonard satisfied you sexually last night?
TV Show: The Big Bang Theory