The Crowd Quotes
Jen: Roy, let's start with you. When you're upstairs fiddling about with computers, would it hurt to smile? Don't you realise what difference that would make? Come on, let's see a smile now.
[Roy attempts a smile]
Jen: No, more warmth. Warmer. No, you're just showing more teeth. That's not warmth. I would say that's more of a threatening look actually. I'll tell you what, keep at it. That's your homework. Now, Moss.
Moss: So, what's your speech going to be about?
Jen: What speech?
Moss: Every employee of the month has to give a speech on their area of expertise.
Roy: Which for you is computers.
Jen: Where do I have...
Moss: At the monthly shareholders meeting.
Jen: When do I...
Moss: Friday.
Jen: What time...
Moss: Morning.
Roy: [Roy grins and points to his mouth] How's that?
[Roy attempts a smile]
Jen: No, more warmth. Warmer. No, you're just showing more teeth. That's not warmth. I would say that's more of a threatening look actually. I'll tell you what, keep at it. That's your homework. Now, Moss.
Moss: So, what's your speech going to be about?
Jen: What speech?
Moss: Every employee of the month has to give a speech on their area of expertise.
Roy: Which for you is computers.
Jen: Where do I have...
Moss: At the monthly shareholders meeting.
Jen: When do I...
Moss: Friday.
Jen: What time...
Moss: Morning.
Roy: [Roy grins and points to his mouth] How's that?
Movie: The Crowd
Jen: What are you eating anyway?
Roy: It's a bucket of fried chicken. And it comes in a real bucket.
Roy: It's a bucket of fried chicken. And it comes in a real bucket.
Movie: The Crowd
Lonesome Rhodes: There's always Vanderbilt '44.
Marcia Jeffries: He's gone back to Memphis. I think he wants to forget us both.
Lonesome Rhodes: I thought he'd wait for you till there was ice on the equator.
Marcia Jeffries: That's how long he did wait.
Marcia Jeffries: He's gone back to Memphis. I think he wants to forget us both.
Lonesome Rhodes: I thought he'd wait for you till there was ice on the equator.
Marcia Jeffries: That's how long he did wait.
Movie: The Crowd
Messy Joe's Guitarist: [singing] Everybody's having having fun fun fun! Cos everything is nice! And everyone is friendly! Smiiiiile if...
Jen: SORRY! Sorry, but it's just not appropriate at the moment.
[singers leave dejected, long pause]
Messy Joe's Guitarist: [singing] Everybody's having having fun fun fun!
Jen: SORRY! Sorry, but it's just not appropriate at the moment.
[singers leave dejected, long pause]
Messy Joe's Guitarist: [singing] Everybody's having having fun fun fun!
Movie: The Crowd
Moss: [reading fire extinguisher] Stand upright.
[stands]
Moss: Well now I can't read it. Oh, not me. I AM a giddy goat.
[stands]
Moss: Well now I can't read it. Oh, not me. I AM a giddy goat.
Movie: The Crowd
Moss: Awright, 'arry? See that ludicrous display last night?
Postman: What was Wenger thinking, sending Walcott on that early?
Moss: Fing about Arsenal is, they always try an' walk it in.
Postman: True. See you later, Moss.
Postman: What was Wenger thinking, sending Walcott on that early?
Moss: Fing about Arsenal is, they always try an' walk it in.
Postman: True. See you later, Moss.
Movie: The Crowd
Moss: I went to a good place recently. Nice atmosphere. Food's great.
Jen: Really?
Moss: Yes. What?
Jen: Sorry, I just didn't have you down as a restaurant person.
Moss: I'm a restaurant person. Why wouldn't I be a restaurant person? Cheese string?
Jen: Really?
Moss: Yes. What?
Jen: Sorry, I just didn't have you down as a restaurant person.
Moss: I'm a restaurant person. Why wouldn't I be a restaurant person? Cheese string?
Movie: The Crowd
Moss: If you were a murderer, what would your nickname be? Mine would be 'The Gardener', because I'd always leave a rose at the scene of the crime.
Roy: What would your murder weapon be?
Moss: A hammer.
Roy: What would your murder weapon be?
Moss: A hammer.
Movie: The Crowd
Newsreader: From today, dialling 999 won't get you the emergency services. And that's not the only thing that's changing. Nicer ambulances, faster response times and better-looking drivers mean they're not just "the" emergency services - they're "your" emergency services. So, remember the new number:
[singing number]
Newsreader: 0118 999 881 999 119 725... 3
[singing number]
Newsreader: 0118 999 881 999 119 725... 3
Movie: The Crowd
Perry Parker: You know I... I talk to my teens about love, and I always say "This crazy thing called love, it makes you laugh, it makes you cry...but hey, man, it's what makes the world go 'round." Now, dying for love? Whoa! That's too momentous! I mean it's good for the books, but not for teens. Now, on the other hand, there's nothing wrong with a teen king or a teen queen FEELING like you could die for love. That way, you'd cherish every dance and you'd never waste a kiss.
Movie: The Crowd
Prime: First rule of Street Countdown. Is that you really must try and tell as many people as possible about it. It's a rather fun game and the more people you tell about it the better.
Movie: The Crowd
Richmond: An ill wind is blowing. Last night I was stirred from my slumber by a crow calling three times. Caw... caw... well you know what a crow sounds like. Passing to my window, I trod on a piece of lego. Oh, it went right in the heel. Turning on my television set, I noticed the reception wasn't great. Not terrible, just not great. Hear me well, no good can come of your trip to the theatre tonight, no good at all. And if you ask me...
[turns around and notices that everybody's gone]
Richmond: That's just bloody rude. Where's my Heat?
[turns around and notices that everybody's gone]
Richmond: That's just bloody rude. Where's my Heat?
Movie: The Crowd
Roy: "Shut up! I'm not interested! These are just some of the things you'll be hearing if you answer this ad. PS: No dogs."
[to Moss]
Roy: How does yours sound?
Moss: Well, mine doesn't sound any good now.
Roy: Lets hear it.
Moss: [hesitates] "I'm going to murder you, you bloody woman!"
Roy: [thinks] You might want to play a bit hard to get.
[to Moss]
Roy: How does yours sound?
Moss: Well, mine doesn't sound any good now.
Roy: Lets hear it.
Moss: [hesitates] "I'm going to murder you, you bloody woman!"
Roy: [thinks] You might want to play a bit hard to get.
Movie: The Crowd
Roy: [repeated throughout the series]
[answering the phone]
Roy: Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again?
[answering the phone]
Roy: Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again?
Movie: The Crowd
Roy: [singing] We don't need no education.
Moss: Yes you do; you've just used a double negative
Moss: Yes you do; you've just used a double negative
Movie: The Crowd
Roy: Come on you crazy bitch. Denholm's called a general.
Jen: Oh no! Not another one.
Moss: I bet he declares war on something. He loves declaring wars.
[now in meeting]
Denholm: I am declaring war.
[the employees groan]
Denholm: I can see that got your attention.
[camera points to his tight cycling trousers]
Denholm: What am I declaring war on?
Roy: [sotto voce] My bollocks?
Jen: Oh no! Not another one.
Moss: I bet he declares war on something. He loves declaring wars.
[now in meeting]
Denholm: I am declaring war.
[the employees groan]
Denholm: I can see that got your attention.
[camera points to his tight cycling trousers]
Denholm: What am I declaring war on?
Roy: [sotto voce] My bollocks?
Movie: The Crowd
Roy: How do you feel? You feel ready?
Moss: My middle name is ready. No, that doesn't sound right. I eat ready for breakfast.
Moss: My middle name is ready. No, that doesn't sound right. I eat ready for breakfast.
Movie: The Crowd
Roy: I didn't know you did the whole lonely hearts thing.
Moss: I'm a 32 year old IT consultant who works in the basement. Yes, I do the whole lonely hearts thing.
Moss: I'm a 32 year old IT consultant who works in the basement. Yes, I do the whole lonely hearts thing.
Movie: The Crowd
Roy: I don't know if it's the loss of blood or the melting plastic from the monitor, but I feel great!
Movie: The Crowd
Roy: I used to work as a waiter. If anyone was ever rude to me, I used to carry their food around in my trousers.
Jen: Oh, my God. Before you brought it to their table?
Roy: [sarcastically] No, after.
[seriously]
Roy: Of course, before! Why would I do it after?
Jen: Oh, my God. Before you brought it to their table?
Roy: [sarcastically] No, after.
[seriously]
Roy: Of course, before! Why would I do it after?
Movie: The Crowd
Roy: OK, so here's the plan.
Moss: A plan. Let me put on my slightly larger glasses.
[puts on slightly larger glasses]
Moss: OK, hit me.
Roy: OK, we go in.
Moss: When?
Roy: You know, like, in a minute.
Moss: Will that be enough time for me to get to know the plan?
Roy: Yeah, you know what? I shouldn't have used the word "plan". I've clearly gotten you overexcited.
Moss: Would scheme be a better word? Although that's just as exciting. I might even need these
[puts on even larger glasses]
Moss: A plan. Let me put on my slightly larger glasses.
[puts on slightly larger glasses]
Moss: OK, hit me.
Roy: OK, we go in.
Moss: When?
Roy: You know, like, in a minute.
Moss: Will that be enough time for me to get to know the plan?
Roy: Yeah, you know what? I shouldn't have used the word "plan". I've clearly gotten you overexcited.
Moss: Would scheme be a better word? Although that's just as exciting. I might even need these
[puts on even larger glasses]
Movie: The Crowd
Title Card: The crowd laughs with you always... but it will cry with you for only a day.
Movie: The Crowd
Title Card: The crowd laughs with you always...but it will cry with you for only a day.
Movie: The Crowd
Title Card: We do not know how big the crowd is, and what opposition it is... until we get out of step with it.
Movie: The Crowd
John 'Johnny' Sims: Everything is gonna be roses when my ship comes in.
Mary: Your ship? A worm must be towing it from the North Pole!
Mary: Your ship? A worm must be towing it from the North Pole!
Movie: The Crowd