The Exorcist Quotes

[ last lines - 2000 version ]
Father Dyer : You know, you look a bit like Bogart.
Lt. Kinderman : You noticed.

Movie: The Exorcist
[ last lines - original version ]
Chris MacNeil : Father Dyer? I thought you'd like to keep this.

Movie: The Exorcist
[ first lines ]
Boy : [ in Arabic ] They've found something... small pieces.

Movie: The Exorcist
[2000 version]
Chris MacNeil: Well, give me an example. Like what specifically did she say?
Dr. Klein: Specifically, Mrs. MacNeil, she advised me to "keep my fingers away from her goddamned cunt."

TV Show: The Exorcist
[2000 version]
Father Merrin: [on his way to begin the exorcism] What is your daughter's middle name, Mrs. MacNeil?
Chris MacNeil: Teresa.
Father Merrin: What a lovely name.

TV Show: The Exorcist
[2000 version]
Lt. Kinderman: You go to films, Father Dyer? You like them?
Father Dyer: Oh, sure.
Lt. Kinderman: I get passes. In fact I've got a pass for the Crest tomorrow night. You'd like to go?
Father Dyer: What's playing?
Lt. Kinderman: "Wuthering Heights".
Father Dyer: Who's in it?
Lt. Kinderman: Heathcliff, Jackie Gleason, and in the role of Catherine Earnshaw, Lucille Ball. You're happy?
Father Dyer: I've seen it.
Lt. Kinderman: Another one.

TV Show: The Exorcist
[after fighting with Karl]
Burke Dennings: So, what's for dessert?

TV Show: The Exorcist
[first lines]
Boy: [in Arabic] They've found something... small pieces.

TV Show: The Exorcist
[last lines - 2000 version]
Father Dyer: You know, you look a bit like Bogart.
Lt. Kinderman: You noticed.

TV Show: The Exorcist
[last lines - original version]
Chris MacNeil: Father Dyer? I thought you'd like to keep this.

TV Show: The Exorcist
[Regan, possessed, is masturbating with a crucifix]
Demon: Let Jesus fuck you, let Jesus fuck you. Let him fuck you.

TV Show: The Exorcist
[repeated lines]
Father Merrin, Father Damien Karras: The Power of Christ compels you!

TV Show: The Exorcist
[to a prominent senator at Chris' party]
Burke Dennings: There seems to be an alien pubic hair in my gin. Never seen it before in my life! Have you?

TV Show: The Exorcist

Regan MacNeil: But ya like him.
Chris MacNeil: Of course I like him. I like pizzas too, but I'm not gonna marry one.

TV Show: The Exorcist

Regan MacNeil: Captain Howdy, do you think my mom's pretty? Captain Howdy? Captain Howdy, that isn't very nice!
Chris MacNeil: Well, maybe he's sleeping.

TV Show: The Exorcist

Regan MacNeil: Mother? What's wrong with me?
Chris MacNeil: It's just like the doctor said. It's nerves, and that's all. You just take your pills and you'll be fine, really. Okay?

TV Show: The Exorcist

Regan MacNeil: You're going to die up there.

TV Show: The Exorcist

Chris MacNeil: [as the Ouija planchette pulls away] You really don't want me to play, huh?
Regan MacNeil: No, I do. Captain Howdy said no.
Chris MacNeil: Captain who?
Regan MacNeil: Captain Howdy.
Chris MacNeil: Who's Captain Howdy?
Regan MacNeil: You know, I make the questions and he does the answers.
Chris MacNeil: Oh, Captain Howdy...

TV Show: The Exorcist

Chris MacNeil: Oh no, that was no spasm. I got on the bed. The whole bed was thumping and rising off the floor and shaking. The whole thing, with me on it!
Dr. Klein: Mrs. MacNeil, the problem with your daughter is not her bed; it's her brain.

TV Show: The Exorcist

Chris MacNeil: Operator, you've given me the number four times. What did you do, take an illiteracy test to get that job for Christ sake?

TV Show: The Exorcist

Chris MacNeil: We've got rats in the attic. You better get some traps.
Karl: Rats?
Chris MacNeil: Mm-hmm. 'Fraid so.
Karl: But the attic is clean.
Chris MacNeil: All right, then we've got clean rats.

TV Show: The Exorcist

Chris MacNeil: What are you doing here?
Regan MacNeil: My bed was shaking. I can't get to sleep.

TV Show: The Exorcist

Chris MacNeil: Would you like some bourbon in that, father?
Father Merrin: Well, my doctor says I shouldn't but thank God my will is weak.

TV Show: The Exorcist

Chris MacNeil: You show me Regan's double, same face, same voice, everything. And I'd know it wasn't Regan. I'd know in my gut. And I'm telling you that 'thing' upstairs isn't my daughter. Now, I want you to tell me that you know for a fact that there's nothing wrong with my daughter, except in her mind. You tell me for a fact that an exorcism wouldn't do any good. You tell me that!

TV Show: The Exorcist

Father Merrin: [looking at St. Joseph medal] Evil against evil.

TV Show: The Exorcist

Father Merrin: Especially important is the warning to avoid conversations with the demon. We may ask what is relevant but anything beyond that is dangerous. He is a liar. The demon is a liar. He will lie to confuse us. But he will also mix lies with the truth to attack us. The attack is psychological, Damien, and powerful. So don't listen to him. Remember that - do not listen.

TV Show: The Exorcist

Father Merrin: I cast you out! Unclean spirit!
Demon: Shove it up your ass, you faggot!
Father Merrin: In the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ! It is he who commands you! It is he who flung you from the gates of Heaven to the depths of Hell!
Demon: Fuck him!
Father Merrin: Be gone...
Demon: Fuck him, Karras! Fuck him!
Father Merrin: ...from this creature of God! Be gone! In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit!

TV Show: The Exorcist

Lt. Kinderman: If certain British doctors never asked "What is this fungus?" we wouldn't today have penicillin, correct?

TV Show: The Exorcist

Lt. Kinderman: You know who you look like? John Garfield. Exactly, John Garfield, "Body and Soul." Do people ever tell you that, Father?
Father Damien Karras: Do people tell you that you look like Paul Newman?
Lt. Kinderman: Always.

TV Show: The Exorcist

Dr. Klein: Do you keep any drugs in your house?
Chris MacNeil: No, of course not, nothing like that.
Dr. Klein: Are you sure?
Chris MacNeil: Well, of course I'm sure. I'd tell you. Christ, I don't even smoke grass.

TV Show: The Exorcist