The Fast Show Quote
Simon: Right, three big tips before we start: shoot it, shovel it, and shut up.
Lindsey: What?
Simon: Shut up! Right, I've got a standard hand-gun, and Lindsey has got one of those fast-action automatic-cocking babies.
Lindsey: We're going for maximum splat, splattus maximus.
Simon: And believe me, they work.
Lindsey: It's gripped!
Simon: Sorted! Okay, Linds, when the whistle goes, I'm gonna hot-foot it up there, you cover me.
Lindsey: Right, it's gripped!
[whistle blows]
Simon: Right, let's paint ball!
Lindsey: Good luck, comrade.
[Simon starts to run; Lindsey grins to camera a then starts shooting Simon in the back; Simon falls and Lindsey keeps shooting; Lindsey stops shooting and laughs]
Simon: What the bloody hell do you think you're doing, Lindsey?
Lindsey: You said "cover me"! Hu-her, joke!
[Simon shoots Lindsey in the groin again]
Simon: Jokus maximus bollockus number two!
Lindsey: What?
Simon: Shut up! Right, I've got a standard hand-gun, and Lindsey has got one of those fast-action automatic-cocking babies.
Lindsey: We're going for maximum splat, splattus maximus.
Simon: And believe me, they work.
Lindsey: It's gripped!
Simon: Sorted! Okay, Linds, when the whistle goes, I'm gonna hot-foot it up there, you cover me.
Lindsey: Right, it's gripped!
[whistle blows]
Simon: Right, let's paint ball!
Lindsey: Good luck, comrade.
[Simon starts to run; Lindsey grins to camera a then starts shooting Simon in the back; Simon falls and Lindsey keeps shooting; Lindsey stops shooting and laughs]
Simon: What the bloody hell do you think you're doing, Lindsey?
Lindsey: You said "cover me"! Hu-her, joke!
[Simon shoots Lindsey in the groin again]
Simon: Jokus maximus bollockus number two!
TV Show: The Fast Show
