The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Quotes
Man: What does this contract say?
Will: Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
Man: That's right. Not Philadelphia. Bel-Air.
Will: Well, you see--
Man: Get in the van!
The man throws Will into the van
Man: Yo homes, to Bel-Air.
Will: Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
Man: That's right. Not Philadelphia. Bel-Air.
Will: Well, you see--
Man: Get in the van!
The man throws Will into the van
Man: Yo homes, to Bel-Air.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Philip: I'm going to be watching you like a shadow!
Will: With you it would be more of an eclipse.
Will: With you it would be more of an eclipse.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Ashley: Didn't you have someone you looked up to when you where younger?
Will: Yeah, Shaft.
Ashley: And how did you react when you found out Shaft wasn't real?
Will: What are you talking about? He was based off a real person.
Ashley: No, he wasn't.
Will: He was, too.
Ashley: Will, Shaft's a fictional character...
Will: [disappointed] But he went to Africa and everything...
Will: Yeah, Shaft.
Ashley: And how did you react when you found out Shaft wasn't real?
Will: What are you talking about? He was based off a real person.
Ashley: No, he wasn't.
Will: He was, too.
Ashley: Will, Shaft's a fictional character...
Will: [disappointed] But he went to Africa and everything...
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: I mean Dougie loves everything. People, am I the only one who sees a problem with this? (singing) I love bugs and I love death. I love oozing flesh wounds!
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: Freeze, munchkins!
Santa Claus: They're not munchkins, Will. They're elves.
Will: Elves, huh? And who are you, Keebler?
Santa Claus: They're not munchkins, Will. They're elves.
Will: Elves, huh? And who are you, Keebler?
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Santa Claus: Be a good boy, and tell Carlton to stop faxing me. I cannot get him into Princeton.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: Yeah where is Carlton? He had better have a good reason for standing Nicky up.
Carlton: Will locked me in the closet!
Carlton: Will locked me in the closet!
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
(Will sits at the kitchen table, Hilary enters the kitchen and throws a newspaper on the table)
Hilary: Look at this.
Will (reading newspaper): "Powerful earthquake rattles northern coast."
Hilary: Oh, boo-hoo.
(turns paper over and points to page): This.
Will: "Television personality Leeza Gibbons was shocked to learn that the woman attempting to vandalize her car was none other than rival talk show host Hilary Banks."
Hilary: (groans)
Will: "Banks, seen here, wielding a potato..."
Hilary: Wielding? I was not wielding, I was rubbing.
I rubbed that damn potato all over Leeza's car and it didn't even make a scratch.
At least they didn't catch me putting my keys in her exhaust pipe.
Will: Hilary, you were suppo...
Never mind.
Hilary: Look at this.
Will (reading newspaper): "Powerful earthquake rattles northern coast."
Hilary: Oh, boo-hoo.
(turns paper over and points to page): This.
Will: "Television personality Leeza Gibbons was shocked to learn that the woman attempting to vandalize her car was none other than rival talk show host Hilary Banks."
Hilary: (groans)
Will: "Banks, seen here, wielding a potato..."
Hilary: Wielding? I was not wielding, I was rubbing.
I rubbed that damn potato all over Leeza's car and it didn't even make a scratch.
At least they didn't catch me putting my keys in her exhaust pipe.
Will: Hilary, you were suppo...
Never mind.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Hilary (aiming video camera at television to record Leeza Gibbons' show): Geoffrey?! Geoffrey?!! Geoffrey?!!!
Geoffrey: You answered, Miss Hilary?
Hilary: I have been calling you for fifteen minutes. Didn't you hear me?
Geoffrey: Yes, but I so rarely have a woman scream my name.
I was rather enjoying it.
Geoffrey: You answered, Miss Hilary?
Hilary: I have been calling you for fifteen minutes. Didn't you hear me?
Geoffrey: Yes, but I so rarely have a woman scream my name.
I was rather enjoying it.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Carlton (comes in the kitchen with his hands on the top of his head): Did you just put super glue in my hair gel?
Will: That's what you get for stealing my girl.
Carlton: I didn't have to steal her. She was bored with you, so that she has to come with a real man.
Will: So that I say is.. I'm not a real man?
Carlton: You got that right. It's like this "Hey, baby. (doing his pelvic thrust) bahk bahk stuff". It worked in high school, but now, it's just embarrassing!
Will: Take it easy there, stumpy.
Carlton: And you know what? I'm also getting tired of the short jokes. I'm average height.
Will: For a woman!
Carlton: I'm large enough for Valerie.
Will: That's what you get for stealing my girl.
Carlton: I didn't have to steal her. She was bored with you, so that she has to come with a real man.
Will: So that I say is.. I'm not a real man?
Carlton: You got that right. It's like this "Hey, baby. (doing his pelvic thrust) bahk bahk stuff". It worked in high school, but now, it's just embarrassing!
Will: Take it easy there, stumpy.
Carlton: And you know what? I'm also getting tired of the short jokes. I'm average height.
Will: For a woman!
Carlton: I'm large enough for Valerie.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: Uncle Phil. Hey man, what are you doing here?
Philip: I'll tell you what I'm doing here. Years ago, I fell in love with and married a wonderful woman named Vivian. Vivian had a sister named Vy. Vy gave birth to a child named Will, whose sole purpose in life is to MAKE MINE A LIVING HELL!!! Now you have done a lot to me these last four years, but how you managed to have me ripped out of my wonderful life in Bel-Air and relocated to this landfill BOGGLES MY MIND!!!
Philip: I'll tell you what I'm doing here. Years ago, I fell in love with and married a wonderful woman named Vivian. Vivian had a sister named Vy. Vy gave birth to a child named Will, whose sole purpose in life is to MAKE MINE A LIVING HELL!!! Now you have done a lot to me these last four years, but how you managed to have me ripped out of my wonderful life in Bel-Air and relocated to this landfill BOGGLES MY MIND!!!
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: Look Jazz, I just don't feel comfortable telling you anymore, man. Who knows, your life could be in danger.
Jazz: What life? I'm a married man.
Jazz: What life? I'm a married man.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Mob Killer: If I were you, I'd run.
Will: If you were me, you'd be good looking.
Will: If you were me, you'd be good looking.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: (to Ashley) Don't tell me, 'cause if I know I can't say that I don't know when you get busted and Uncle Phil starts rounding up the usual suspects. And I am the usual suspects.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Miss Sharpe: Wait a minute.. That's a fake mustache.
Will: No, it's not!
Miss Sharpe [takes off the mustache off Will]: Yes it is!
Will: No, it's not!
Miss Sharpe: Look, I don't know who you are, but I'm calling your real parents right now.
Ashley: Will...!
Will: No, it's not!
Will: No, it's not!
Miss Sharpe [takes off the mustache off Will]: Yes it is!
Will: No, it's not!
Miss Sharpe: Look, I don't know who you are, but I'm calling your real parents right now.
Ashley: Will...!
Will: No, it's not!
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Geoffrey: Master William, You need to follow the path of goodness, and let light of honesty be your north star.
Will: What good advice Geoffrey. You're such a big help.
(Will hugs Geoffrey)
(Will faces audience)
Will: Cmon people, you're not going to listen to Geoffrey when's the last time you saw him with a woman?
Will: What good advice Geoffrey. You're such a big help.
(Will hugs Geoffrey)
(Will faces audience)
Will: Cmon people, you're not going to listen to Geoffrey when's the last time you saw him with a woman?
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
(during a dance lesson)
Lamont: All right, Philly-dilly.
Now, lesson number two is: shake your groove thang.
Geoffrey (referring to Philip's butt): If that's a groove, the Grand Canyon's a ditch.
Lamont: All right, Philly-dilly.
Now, lesson number two is: shake your groove thang.
Geoffrey (referring to Philip's butt): If that's a groove, the Grand Canyon's a ditch.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Carlton: You played with a doll?
Will: It's not a doll. It's an action figure.
Will: It's not a doll. It's an action figure.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
(Will sees Carlton dancing.)
Will: Carlton, what's wrong? Are you having a Malox moment?
Carlton: I'm getting ready for Soul Train. I believe there's dancing involved.
Will: Two things. One: that's not dancing. And two: I'd appreciate it if you stayed away from the show.
Carlton: And why, pray tell, is that?
Will: Again, two things. One: because you say stuff like "pray tell". And two: you're gonna embarass me when I become the new co-host.
Will: Carlton, what's wrong? Are you having a Malox moment?
Carlton: I'm getting ready for Soul Train. I believe there's dancing involved.
Will: Two things. One: that's not dancing. And two: I'd appreciate it if you stayed away from the show.
Carlton: And why, pray tell, is that?
Will: Again, two things. One: because you say stuff like "pray tell". And two: you're gonna embarass me when I become the new co-host.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: You see, Soul Train's been looking for a co-host for months, and so far no one's worked out.
Carlton: And they're gonna give you the job based on your love for Don Corneleus dolls?
Will: [annoyed] It's not a doll, it's an action figure. And you've got no business being on the Soul Hyundai, let alone the Soul Train.
Carlton: And they're gonna give you the job based on your love for Don Corneleus dolls?
Will: [annoyed] It's not a doll, it's an action figure. And you've got no business being on the Soul Hyundai, let alone the Soul Train.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Lisa: Will, I've been meaning to tell you that I'm a--
Will: A what!? A Power Ranger!?
Lisa: No, I've been studying self-defense. Did I do something wrong?
Will: Yes, you did. I was just about to retaliate.
Lisa: Baby, you were on the floor.
Will: That's how I fight!
Lisa: Let's just get back to the game.
Will: Fine!
(Will attempts to roll the ball, but it slips and hits another man in the chest.)
Will: A what!? A Power Ranger!?
Lisa: No, I've been studying self-defense. Did I do something wrong?
Will: Yes, you did. I was just about to retaliate.
Lisa: Baby, you were on the floor.
Will: That's how I fight!
Lisa: Let's just get back to the game.
Will: Fine!
(Will attempts to roll the ball, but it slips and hits another man in the chest.)
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
(Jazz pulls out a small thin book from his pocket)
Jazz [to Will]: I give you...The Hoodlum Pages. Okay, let's see here.
(Jazz flips through the pages)
Jazz: Counterfieters... Extortionists... Car Salesmen... Ah, here. Guys who take dives...
(Jazz hands Will the book and he scans the page.)
Will: Wait, wait, wait so you're tellin' me that this guy will let someone hit him ten times for $40?
Jazz: Mention this ad and he'll throw in a head-butt.
Will: Oh okay, so this dude come down to the Peacock, stir up a little fray, I take him down and Lisa and everybody think I'm a hero. Aight, Thanks man. Hey, by the way, where'd you get this?
Jazz: I stole it.
Jazz [to Will]: I give you...The Hoodlum Pages. Okay, let's see here.
(Jazz flips through the pages)
Jazz: Counterfieters... Extortionists... Car Salesmen... Ah, here. Guys who take dives...
(Jazz hands Will the book and he scans the page.)
Will: Wait, wait, wait so you're tellin' me that this guy will let someone hit him ten times for $40?
Jazz: Mention this ad and he'll throw in a head-butt.
Will: Oh okay, so this dude come down to the Peacock, stir up a little fray, I take him down and Lisa and everybody think I'm a hero. Aight, Thanks man. Hey, by the way, where'd you get this?
Jazz: I stole it.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: I call it, "Celebrity Houses, At Night!"
News Publisher: Hmm, very interesting.
Will: Cause see, here's Bob Walker drinkin some coffee in the bathroom,
News Publisher: Er....
Will: And here's Gene Simmons frying his underwear on a barbeque grill,
News Publisher: Um, that's lovely.
Will: And here's Jay Leno pouring some coffee in the sewer.
News Publisher: Oh my god!!!
News Publisher: Hmm, very interesting.
Will: Cause see, here's Bob Walker drinkin some coffee in the bathroom,
News Publisher: Er....
Will: And here's Gene Simmons frying his underwear on a barbeque grill,
News Publisher: Um, that's lovely.
Will: And here's Jay Leno pouring some coffee in the sewer.
News Publisher: Oh my god!!!
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Lisa: Will?
Will (wearing a fat suit): Well, it ain't Fat Albert!
Will (wearing a fat suit): Well, it ain't Fat Albert!
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Denise: I knew I could make you forget about your fiancée.
Will: Hey, hey, hey. Ain't nobody making me forget about my fiance.
All right, I love... Lucy.
That ain't it, is it?
Denise: It's Lisa.
Will: Ah, that's right. That's right.
Will: Hey, hey, hey. Ain't nobody making me forget about my fiance.
All right, I love... Lucy.
That ain't it, is it?
Denise: It's Lisa.
Will: Ah, that's right. That's right.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Philip: We're walking down Rodeo Drive. You be Vivian.
Will: (imitates Vivian) Oh jeez, Philip. You be pushing me all off the sidewalk.
Philip: Oh, for God's sake, Will. Will you please be my wife?
(Geoffrey walks in and mishears thinking Philip is asking Will's hand in marriage and in a panic, walks away)
Will: (imitates Vivian) Oh jeez, Philip. You be pushing me all off the sidewalk.
Philip: Oh, for God's sake, Will. Will you please be my wife?
(Geoffrey walks in and mishears thinking Philip is asking Will's hand in marriage and in a panic, walks away)
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Philip: What are you thinking about?
Vivian: I'm just trying to recall what it felt like to be 15.
Philip: It was so long ago, how could you remember?
[Vivian scowls at her husband]
Philip: I'm just so upset, I'm saying things I don't even mean.
Vivian: I'm just trying to recall what it felt like to be 15.
Philip: It was so long ago, how could you remember?
[Vivian scowls at her husband]
Philip: I'm just so upset, I'm saying things I don't even mean.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Ashley: You know something? This is all your fault.
Will: What is that, like the theme of this family? "When in doubt, blame Will."
Will: What is that, like the theme of this family? "When in doubt, blame Will."
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Nicky: Why do you shave and Ashley doesn't?
Will: Well, you know, because guys grow beards and some women don't.
Will: Well, you know, because guys grow beards and some women don't.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air