The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Quotes
Vivian: (to police officers) This has got to be the bigest amateur operation I have seen since Mayberry R.F.D!
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Sergeant: Have a seat, we're busy.
Vivian: (Taking off her earrings) Oh, it's about to get really busy up in here.......
Vivian: (Taking off her earrings) Oh, it's about to get really busy up in here.......
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Officer: Good news Mr.Furth. Your car is safe and sound and we got the perpetrators.
Mr.Furth: Those aren't the perpetrators. Those are my partner's son and nephew.
Officer: Partner?
Philip: Legal partner.
Mr.Furth: Those aren't the perpetrators. Those are my partner's son and nephew.
Officer: Partner?
Philip: Legal partner.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Philip(to police officer): I've got a few questions for you. When you got this alleged confession from these two young men, did they have a lawyer present? No, because I'm their lawyer. Did you notify their parents? No, because we're their parents. So officer, don't tell us to wait and don't tell us to sit down. Just open that damn cell and let those two boys out of there or I'm going to tie this place up with so much litigation that your GRANDCHILDREN ARE GONNA NEED LAWYERS!!!
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Officer: Open the cell Bob. (Officer opens cell, Will and Carlton leave and he closes the cell again)
Bob: One is the lonleist number since the number one ohhhhh, 2 can be as bad as one but the lonliest number is the number one now.
Bob: One is the lonleist number since the number one ohhhhh, 2 can be as bad as one but the lonliest number is the number one now.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: Will Smith, tonsils.
Max Jakey (Milton Berle): Max Jakey... everything else. Sweaty palms, kid? First-timer, huh?
Will: Man, you trippin'. I was 15 when I first... You mean surgery.
Max Jakey (Milton Berle): Max Jakey... everything else. Sweaty palms, kid? First-timer, huh?
Will: Man, you trippin'. I was 15 when I first... You mean surgery.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Dr. Baylor(whose glasses are on his head): I've gotta find those glasses.
Will (praying): God, please don't let me leave here with breasts.
Will (praying): God, please don't let me leave here with breasts.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: Yo, Carlton. Those cops were just doing their jobs?
Carlton: Will, don't get all bent out of shape.
Will: Man you ain't learn nothing for this weekend, did you?
Carlton: I most certainly did. Always bring a map.
Will: WHAT?
Carlton: If we had a map, we wouldn't have to drive two miles an hour trying to find a freeway entrance, and we wouldn't have been stopped.
Will: Oh, I get it now. We were stopped because we were driving too slow. Yeah, we were breaking the slowness limit, huh? Well you see, I've never heard of that law before. But there's one law that I've heard before. It's called the "if you see a black guy driving anything but a burnt-out Pinto, you better stop him because he stole it law". Yeah I've heard that law before. But you see, I thought it was the black guy law, when in actuality, it was the slowness limit law. Gee, thanks for sharing that with me, Carlton. Good night.
Carlton: They were just doing their job.
Will: Good night, Carlton.
Carlton: What's your complaint here? We were detained for a few hours, Dad straightened everything up and we were released. The system works.
Will: I hope you like that system, you're going to be seeing a lot of it in your life.
Carlton: Not if I bring a map.
Will: You haven't learned a thing this weekend, no map is going to help you, neither is your glee club, or who your daddy is. Because when you drive a fancy car in a strange neighborhood, NONE of that matters, they only see ONE thing. (taps Carlton on his face)
Carlton: Well maybe where you grew up has made you a little touchy. You're blowing this whole thing out of proportion. If you look at the facts..........
(Will walks away disgusted)
Carlton: Will, don't get all bent out of shape.
Will: Man you ain't learn nothing for this weekend, did you?
Carlton: I most certainly did. Always bring a map.
Will: WHAT?
Carlton: If we had a map, we wouldn't have to drive two miles an hour trying to find a freeway entrance, and we wouldn't have been stopped.
Will: Oh, I get it now. We were stopped because we were driving too slow. Yeah, we were breaking the slowness limit, huh? Well you see, I've never heard of that law before. But there's one law that I've heard before. It's called the "if you see a black guy driving anything but a burnt-out Pinto, you better stop him because he stole it law". Yeah I've heard that law before. But you see, I thought it was the black guy law, when in actuality, it was the slowness limit law. Gee, thanks for sharing that with me, Carlton. Good night.
Carlton: They were just doing their job.
Will: Good night, Carlton.
Carlton: What's your complaint here? We were detained for a few hours, Dad straightened everything up and we were released. The system works.
Will: I hope you like that system, you're going to be seeing a lot of it in your life.
Carlton: Not if I bring a map.
Will: You haven't learned a thing this weekend, no map is going to help you, neither is your glee club, or who your daddy is. Because when you drive a fancy car in a strange neighborhood, NONE of that matters, they only see ONE thing. (taps Carlton on his face)
Carlton: Well maybe where you grew up has made you a little touchy. You're blowing this whole thing out of proportion. If you look at the facts..........
(Will walks away disgusted)
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Carlton: Dad, if you were a cop, and you saw someone driving a car at 2 miles an hour, would you stop them?
Philip: That's what I asked myself the first night I was stopped.
Philip: That's what I asked myself the first night I was stopped.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: (to Jazz) What kind of poem is that?
Jazz: I'm starvin'. When do we eat here?
Philip: We eat here later. You eat here never.
Jazz: Looks like you eat here often.
(Philip throws Jazz out the door again)
Jazz: I'm starvin'. When do we eat here?
Philip: We eat here later. You eat here never.
Jazz: Looks like you eat here often.
(Philip throws Jazz out the door again)
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Jazz: I dunno 'bout West Philly, but in L.A. you don't give stuff like that away.
Will: I dunno 'bout L.A., but in West Philly, you mess with some other brother's girlie, you mess around and get yourself killed.
Jazz: Well I dunno 'bout West Philly, but in L.A. we're man enough to take that risk.
Will: My brother, you wanna take this outside?!?
Will: I dunno 'bout L.A., but in West Philly, you mess with some other brother's girlie, you mess around and get yourself killed.
Jazz: Well I dunno 'bout West Philly, but in L.A. we're man enough to take that risk.
Will: My brother, you wanna take this outside?!?
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: Let's get something straight, Carlton. I've been out here for two months. I've been yelled at at home, screamed at school, I've been sent to detention several times, I've been grounded, I've been threatened with expulsion almost on a daily basis. I finally do something I get credit for, and you can't take it. Well, I'm not about to sell myself short just so you can look good. So just grow up.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Phil: How would you feel if I came into your room and suddenly started throwing chalk around?
Will: I'd be devastated. (said in a deadpan manner)
Will: I'd be devastated. (said in a deadpan manner)
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Cartwell: I was under the assumption...
Coach: Ah. You made an assumption. Now, you should never make an assumption, because you'll be an 'ass' and the 'ump' will 'shun' you.
Coach: Ah. You made an assumption. Now, you should never make an assumption, because you'll be an 'ass' and the 'ump' will 'shun' you.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Carlton: Hey, Hilary. Did Dad mention me during the game?
Hilary: Yeah, he did say "Shut up, that's my kid you're talking about!"
Hilary: Yeah, he did say "Shut up, that's my kid you're talking about!"
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Vivian: Hilary, your father and I just want you to be all you can be.
Hilary: You want me to join the army?!
Hilary: You want me to join the army?!
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Vivian: Philip, I've been thinking about what Hilary said. That stuff about us putting too much pressure on her, how hard it is to live up to a college professor, how she believed she couldn't admit to us she failed.
Philip: You mean you bought that crap?!
Philip: You mean you bought that crap?!
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: This looks like a job for Sherlock Homeboy.
Hilary: Alright okay! I can't take it any more! I dropped out of college.
Phillip: You did what?! ...Hilary when did this happen?
Hilary: 3 months ago.
Vivian: 3 months ago?
Phillip: and you have been lying to us since then?
Vivian: 3 months ago?
Hilary: Mother I can explain!
Vivian: 3 months ago?
Hilary: Alright okay! I can't take it any more! I dropped out of college.
Phillip: You did what?! ...Hilary when did this happen?
Hilary: 3 months ago.
Vivian: 3 months ago?
Phillip: and you have been lying to us since then?
Vivian: 3 months ago?
Hilary: Mother I can explain!
Vivian: 3 months ago?
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Carlton: That's awful! Is he making you clean his room?
Hilary: No.
Carlton: Will you clean miiiine?
Hilary: Carlton!
Carlton: I'm sorry, Hilary, but this is too good to be true! Why should Will have all the fun?
Hilary: Why you little-
Carlton: DAAAAAAAAD-
Hilary: I HATE YOU!
Hilary: No.
Carlton: Will you clean miiiine?
Hilary: Carlton!
Carlton: I'm sorry, Hilary, but this is too good to be true! Why should Will have all the fun?
Hilary: Why you little-
Carlton: DAAAAAAAAD-
Hilary: I HATE YOU!
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Carlton: Somebody scratched the word "Fresh" on the alumni desk. They already have a lead on who did it.
Will: (Guilty) They do.
Carlton: They think it was a Freshmen who lost his cool.
Ashley: Lost his cool, that's funny. "Fresh" means cool, right Will?
Will: I can't keep up with this new hip lingo.
Ashley: But I thought that's why they called you the Fresh Prince?
Phillip: Day damn one, Vivian! Day damn one!
Will: (Guilty) They do.
Carlton: They think it was a Freshmen who lost his cool.
Ashley: Lost his cool, that's funny. "Fresh" means cool, right Will?
Will: I can't keep up with this new hip lingo.
Ashley: But I thought that's why they called you the Fresh Prince?
Phillip: Day damn one, Vivian! Day damn one!
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: Why do you humor this guy? The planet he's on hasn't been discovered yet.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: Uncle Phil told him to take his fancy 20 million dollar account, fold it five ways and stick it where Sparky can't find it.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Kayla: Your momma.
Will: Oh? What about my momma?
Kayla: Your momma is so fat, they showed her a picture of her feet and she couldn't identify them.
Will: Well, your momma is so dumb, she went to the theater and it said 'Under 17 Not Admitted' so she went home and got sixteen of her friends.
Kayla: You know what? I shouldn't talk about your momma. I feel sorry for your momma. Having such an ugly child.
Will: (outraged) Ugly?
Kayla: You're so ugly, your momma had to tie a pork chop around your neck just so the dog would play with you.
Will: You're so ugly, your momma had to feed you with a slingshot.
Kayla: You're so ugly, that isn't a fade on your head. That's your hair running away from your face.
Will: Well you're so ugly that...uuhh...baby, you so fine.
Will: Oh? What about my momma?
Kayla: Your momma is so fat, they showed her a picture of her feet and she couldn't identify them.
Will: Well, your momma is so dumb, she went to the theater and it said 'Under 17 Not Admitted' so she went home and got sixteen of her friends.
Kayla: You know what? I shouldn't talk about your momma. I feel sorry for your momma. Having such an ugly child.
Will: (outraged) Ugly?
Kayla: You're so ugly, your momma had to tie a pork chop around your neck just so the dog would play with you.
Will: You're so ugly, your momma had to feed you with a slingshot.
Kayla: You're so ugly, that isn't a fade on your head. That's your hair running away from your face.
Will: Well you're so ugly that...uuhh...baby, you so fine.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: All this legal stuff won't work. The only legal phrase these people understand is "will the defendant please rise."
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: Uncle Phil, I am telling you he kissed her right on the lips.
Carlton: It was more on the cheek dad.
Will: But he was aiming for her lips and he missed. He's aggressive and inaccurate and that's a dangerous combination!
Carlton: It was more on the cheek dad.
Will: But he was aiming for her lips and he missed. He's aggressive and inaccurate and that's a dangerous combination!
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: [singing to himself] I'm stuck in a basement, sittin' on a tricycle, girl gettin' on my nerves. I'm goin' outta my mind, I thought she was fine, don't know if her body is hers!
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air