The Golden Girls Quote
Rose: [telling a St. Olaf story about a woman who had plastic surgery] Olga Fetchik was our town beautician, and one of God's most unattractive creations since the aardvark. Anyway, over the years, Olga had been secretly squirreling away money for plastic surgery. Well, one day she left without telling anyone, had the surgery, and didn't return for months. Well, nobody could believe their eyes - Olga Fetchik had turned into a stunning beauty! Every man in town wanted her, but she ended up marrying St. Olaf's most handsome and eligible bachelor, dance instructor Adolf Stepp. The two of them moved back to Norway, decided to get into show business, and they became the internationally renowed Scandinavian dance team of Stepp 'n' Fetchik.
Blanche: Rose, not that I care, but since you've already gone to so much trouble... just how did having plastic surgery ruin Olga's life?
Rose: Oh, it didn't ruin her life, it almost ruined St. Olaf. I mean, after she left, the town didn't have a professional beautician for years. Women started giving each other home perms - pretty soon everybody looked like Art Garfunkel. Husbands stopped sleeping with their wives, the population started to go down. Well, the town would have gone under if Oslo's most famous hairstylist, Vidal Sassbogadotter, hadn't relocated his shop in St. Olaf because of our more favorable tax laws! Now you see why I don't like plastic surgery?
[Dorothy stares at Rose quizzically for a few seconds, then walks over to Sophia, who is listening to a Walkman, and turns the volume on the Walkman all the way up.]
Sophia: [screaming in pain] OW! WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?
Dorothy: Why should we be the only ones in pain?
Blanche: Rose, not that I care, but since you've already gone to so much trouble... just how did having plastic surgery ruin Olga's life?
Rose: Oh, it didn't ruin her life, it almost ruined St. Olaf. I mean, after she left, the town didn't have a professional beautician for years. Women started giving each other home perms - pretty soon everybody looked like Art Garfunkel. Husbands stopped sleeping with their wives, the population started to go down. Well, the town would have gone under if Oslo's most famous hairstylist, Vidal Sassbogadotter, hadn't relocated his shop in St. Olaf because of our more favorable tax laws! Now you see why I don't like plastic surgery?
[Dorothy stares at Rose quizzically for a few seconds, then walks over to Sophia, who is listening to a Walkman, and turns the volume on the Walkman all the way up.]
Sophia: [screaming in pain] OW! WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?
Dorothy: Why should we be the only ones in pain?
TV Show: The Golden Girls
