The Golden Girls Quotes
Blanche: Let's talk about you, it looks like you've lost a little weight, sugar.
Virginia: I have.
Blanche: You know, at your age when you lose weight your skin just...hangs there, like...like leaves on a willow.
Virginia: I haven't lost that much, I don't think that's happened yet.
Blanche: Well I don't know. If I were you I sure wouldn't wave goodbye.
Virginia: And if I were you, I sure wouldn't jog without a muumuu.
Blanche: Is that so, well just let me tell you somethin' missy.....
Virginia: Oh Blanche, please, let's not do this. Let's grow up, for God's sake. We have done this our whole lives long, let's call an end to it, okay?
Blanche: Sure, whatever. So, you thinkin' about gettin' a face lift? For your, how do I put this delicately.....turkey wattle or what?
Virginia: I have.
Blanche: You know, at your age when you lose weight your skin just...hangs there, like...like leaves on a willow.
Virginia: I haven't lost that much, I don't think that's happened yet.
Blanche: Well I don't know. If I were you I sure wouldn't wave goodbye.
Virginia: And if I were you, I sure wouldn't jog without a muumuu.
Blanche: Is that so, well just let me tell you somethin' missy.....
Virginia: Oh Blanche, please, let's not do this. Let's grow up, for God's sake. We have done this our whole lives long, let's call an end to it, okay?
Blanche: Sure, whatever. So, you thinkin' about gettin' a face lift? For your, how do I put this delicately.....turkey wattle or what?
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Blanche: She's dying.
Dorothy: What?
Blanche: My sister's dying.
Rose: [entering] What?
Sophia: Dying, she's dying.
Rose: [assuming Blanche is dying] Oh my God, Blanche! I didn't even know you were sick.
Dorothy: What?
Blanche: My sister's dying.
Rose: [entering] What?
Sophia: Dying, she's dying.
Rose: [assuming Blanche is dying] Oh my God, Blanche! I didn't even know you were sick.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Sophia: [angrily, after the girls choose Mama Celeste's pizza over hers in a taste test] You can't pick men and you can't pick pizza!
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Sophia: Let me tell you a story. Sicily. 1912. Picture this. Two young girls, best friends, who share three things: a pizza recipe, some dough and a dream. Everything is going great until one day a fast talking pepperoni salesman gallops into town. Of course, both girls are impressed. He dates one one night, the other the next night. Pretty soon, he drives a wedge between them. Before you know it, the pizza suffers, the business suffers, the friendship suffers. The girls part company and head for America, never to see one another again. Rose, one of those girls was me. The other one you probably know as Mama Celeste.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Blanche: But [Dr. Clayton] wants me. I can feel it.
Dorothy: Let someone else feel it.
Blanche: But we were meant for each other. I'm a woman and, he's a man.
Dorothy: And what am I, Little Richard?
Dorothy: Let someone else feel it.
Blanche: But we were meant for each other. I'm a woman and, he's a man.
Dorothy: And what am I, Little Richard?
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Rose: 'What kind of a friend would you be if you let Elliot ruin her life? She could marry that man. They could have a child! [Blanche looks at her strangely] ...They could adopt a child! And then one night at the country club, possibly during little Mei Ling’s coming out party... [pauses as Blanche looks exasperated] ...Dorothy’s having the time of her life when she goes to the powder room and she overhears the towel lady telling Mrs. Steinbeck that Dorothy’s husband, Dr. Elliot Clayton, has bonged every female member of the country club. Can you let that happen to Dorothy? Can you let that happen to little Mei Ling? Hasn’t she suffered enough?
Blanche: Not as much as I have listening to that story.
Rose: Forget the story. You have to tell Dorothy, she's your friend!
Blanche: You're right, she is my best friend.
Rose: I thought I was your best friend!
Blanche: You were until you told me that story.
Blanche: Not as much as I have listening to that story.
Rose: Forget the story. You have to tell Dorothy, she's your friend!
Blanche: You're right, she is my best friend.
Rose: I thought I was your best friend!
Blanche: You were until you told me that story.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Sophia: I'm an old white woman. I'm not supposed to have color. You want color? Talk to Lena Horne.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Blanche: [introducing herself to Dr. Clayton] My name is Blanche Devereaux. That's French for... Blanche Devereaux.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Blanche: The last time a friend's sweetheart made a pass at me, I lost my friend and her beau.
Rose: And her beau?
Blanche: That's right, Anderbeau Johnson. Clyde Whitehead, Anderbeau's beau, decided he wanted to see my cheerleader sweater from the inside. So when I told Anderbeau, she blamed the whole thing on me, and then Clyde would never speak to me again for telling! I lost Anderbeau and her beau! Now you understand why I can't tell Dorothy?
Rose: I don't even understand who Anderbobo is.
Rose: And her beau?
Blanche: That's right, Anderbeau Johnson. Clyde Whitehead, Anderbeau's beau, decided he wanted to see my cheerleader sweater from the inside. So when I told Anderbeau, she blamed the whole thing on me, and then Clyde would never speak to me again for telling! I lost Anderbeau and her beau! Now you understand why I can't tell Dorothy?
Rose: I don't even understand who Anderbobo is.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Rose: [pretending to flirt with Elliot to make him confess to hitting on Blanche] Did anyone ever tell you, you look just like Jerry Vale?
Elliot: No...
Rose: They should. He's the only man in the world that can make the hair on my arms stand up. [begins suggestively bobbing up and down] Can I fix you a drink?
Elliot: No thank you. Is something wrong with your leg?
Rose: Nothing you can't fix, [breathily] Doctor Man!
Elliot: I beg your pardon?
Rose: I know I look square, but I'm like my father's tractor. I take a while to warm up, but once I get going I can turn your topsoil till the cows come home.
Elliot: Rose, please!
Rose: Wanna see some Polaroids of me in my tennis skirt?
Elliot: No...
Rose: They should. He's the only man in the world that can make the hair on my arms stand up. [begins suggestively bobbing up and down] Can I fix you a drink?
Elliot: No thank you. Is something wrong with your leg?
Rose: Nothing you can't fix, [breathily] Doctor Man!
Elliot: I beg your pardon?
Rose: I know I look square, but I'm like my father's tractor. I take a while to warm up, but once I get going I can turn your topsoil till the cows come home.
Elliot: Rose, please!
Rose: Wanna see some Polaroids of me in my tennis skirt?
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Blanche: Elliot made.... Elliot made-
Dorothy: What, what did Elliot make? A ship in a bottle? What?!
Blanche: Elliot made a pass at me.
Dorothy: He made a pass at you? You mean he winked at you. He's a very big winker.
Blanche: No, this was no wink. He came up behind me and put his big, masculine arms around my tiny little waist.
Dorothy: I don't believe you.
Blanche: What?
Dorothy: I don't believe he put his big masculine arms around your alleged tiny little waist.
Blanche: Well Dorothy, why would I make up such a thing?
Dorothy: Because you're jealous.
Blanche: Jealous?!
Dorothy: You are used to getting all the attention around here, and now someone comes along and wants me and not you, and it is eating your guts out.
Blanche: Eating my guts out?!
Dorothy: You know, you could never be a real friend to a woman, and you wanna know why?
Blanche: Why?
Dorothy: Because you're a slut!
Blanche: A slut!
Dorothy: Don't repeat everything I say.
Blanche: I'm not repeating everything you say.
Dorothy: You just did.
Blanche: I did not, nothing you say is worth repeating!
Dorothy: You, Blanche, are an immoral, backstabbing, self-centered Jezebel, and I am very glad that this happened, because now I know exactly what kind of person you really are.
Blanche: Well then, to hell with you and your oversexed boyfriend, Dorothy Zbornak! I'm just glad that little Mei Ling's coming out party was ruined!
Dorothy: Who?
Blanche: And, I'm glad that Elliot is banging every woman at your country club!
Dorothy: What the hell are you talking about?
Blanche: Ask the towel lady!
Dorothy: What, what did Elliot make? A ship in a bottle? What?!
Blanche: Elliot made a pass at me.
Dorothy: He made a pass at you? You mean he winked at you. He's a very big winker.
Blanche: No, this was no wink. He came up behind me and put his big, masculine arms around my tiny little waist.
Dorothy: I don't believe you.
Blanche: What?
Dorothy: I don't believe he put his big masculine arms around your alleged tiny little waist.
Blanche: Well Dorothy, why would I make up such a thing?
Dorothy: Because you're jealous.
Blanche: Jealous?!
Dorothy: You are used to getting all the attention around here, and now someone comes along and wants me and not you, and it is eating your guts out.
Blanche: Eating my guts out?!
Dorothy: You know, you could never be a real friend to a woman, and you wanna know why?
Blanche: Why?
Dorothy: Because you're a slut!
Blanche: A slut!
Dorothy: Don't repeat everything I say.
Blanche: I'm not repeating everything you say.
Dorothy: You just did.
Blanche: I did not, nothing you say is worth repeating!
Dorothy: You, Blanche, are an immoral, backstabbing, self-centered Jezebel, and I am very glad that this happened, because now I know exactly what kind of person you really are.
Blanche: Well then, to hell with you and your oversexed boyfriend, Dorothy Zbornak! I'm just glad that little Mei Ling's coming out party was ruined!
Dorothy: Who?
Blanche: And, I'm glad that Elliot is banging every woman at your country club!
Dorothy: What the hell are you talking about?
Blanche: Ask the towel lady!
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Elliot: I take it we're not playing golf.
Dorothy: We're not playing anything anymore.
Dorothy: We're not playing anything anymore.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Blanche: Nobody ever believes me when I'm telling the truth. I guess it's the curse of being a devastatingly beautiful woman.
Dorothy: Oh, please!
Blanche: The only other woman who could possibly understand what I've been through is Priscilla Presley. And Susan Anton. [beat] No, not Susan Anton.
Dorothy: Oh, please!
Blanche: The only other woman who could possibly understand what I've been through is Priscilla Presley. And Susan Anton. [beat] No, not Susan Anton.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Dorothy: I do not snore.
Sophia: Please, I'll bet less disgusting noises come out of Ernest Borgnine!
[later]
Dorothy: Ma, I do not snore.
Sophia: Please, I had to turn you away from the windows so you wouldn't inhale the drapes!
Sophia: Please, I'll bet less disgusting noises come out of Ernest Borgnine!
[later]
Dorothy: Ma, I do not snore.
Sophia: Please, I had to turn you away from the windows so you wouldn't inhale the drapes!
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Rose: This is like "The Long Day's Journey Into Light".
Dorothy: [correcting her]Night, Rose.
Rose: [heading to her room] Night, Dorothy.
Dorothy: [correcting her]Night, Rose.
Rose: [heading to her room] Night, Dorothy.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Dorothy: How am I supposed to study for my French final with a fourteen-year-old in the house? It's hard enough with an eighty-year old.
Sophia: Are you referring to me?
Dorothy: Of course not, Ma. I'm referring to Cary Grant. He's living in the broom closet.
Sophia: Are you referring to me?
Dorothy: Of course not, Ma. I'm referring to Cary Grant. He's living in the broom closet.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Blanche: [after Sophia slaps David for mouthing off] Is that all you Italians know how to do, scream and hit?
Sophia: No, we also know how to make love and sing opera!
Sophia: No, we also know how to make love and sing opera!
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Blanche: Well, I am stunned. Just stunned. Stunned is the only way to describe how...stunned I am!
Dorothy: Just a minute, just a minute, Blanche. Are you trying to tell us that you are stunned?
Dorothy: Just a minute, just a minute, Blanche. Are you trying to tell us that you are stunned?
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Blanche: Oh, we've practiced enough! Every morning before work, every evening after work... all I ever wanted was to look cute in my bowling outfit.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Blanche: Well, what do you know? Sophia has a past!
Sophia: That's right! But unlike yours, I didn't need penicillin to get through it.
Sophia: That's right! But unlike yours, I didn't need penicillin to get through it.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
[Blanche is asleep at the table. Dorothy wants to practice]
Dorothy: Blanche, let's go.
[Blanche murmurs in her sleep]
Dorothy: Come on, Blanche, let's go!
[Blanche murmurs again. Dorothy speaks in a manly whisper]
Dorothy: Blanche, wake up. My wife will be home any minute.
[Blanche shoots up]
Blanche: WHERE ARE MY SHOES?
Dorothy: Blanche, let's go.
[Blanche murmurs in her sleep]
Dorothy: Come on, Blanche, let's go!
[Blanche murmurs again. Dorothy speaks in a manly whisper]
Dorothy: Blanche, wake up. My wife will be home any minute.
[Blanche shoots up]
Blanche: WHERE ARE MY SHOES?
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Rose: [smelling Sophia's spaghetti sauce] Sophia, that smells heavenly! Is it Chef Boyardee?
Sophia: [holding up a kitchen knife] Stick it in my heart, Rose, it'll hurt less!
Sophia: [holding up a kitchen knife] Stick it in my heart, Rose, it'll hurt less!
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Sophia: [tasting her sauce] Mmm... if this sauce was a person I'd get naked and make love to it.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Sophia: [to Dorothy] I can't believe you're denying your own mother.
Rose: Denying her what?
Dorothy: Springsteen tickets Rose.
Rose: Denying her what?
Dorothy: Springsteen tickets Rose.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Rose: The name Madonna doesn't really fit her.
Sophia: "Slut" would be better!
Rose: Sophia!
Dorothy: Oh, please, please! She did things on that stage I never did with my husband!
Sophia: "Slut" would be better!
Rose: Sophia!
Dorothy: Oh, please, please! She did things on that stage I never did with my husband!
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Sophia: [after Rose fires her gun and shatters Blanche's vase] I manage to live 80, 81 years. I survived pneumonia, two operations, a stroke. One night I'll belch and Stable Mabel here will blow my head off!
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Dorothy: [on getting robbed] It has nothing to do with energy, it has nothing to do with being single. It has to do with a lousy lock on a sliding door and massive unemployment. Now, I'm going into my room. Call me when the cops come.
Rose: We're all employed, Dorothy, except your mother. I wouldn't call that massive.
Dorothy: Good night Rose. Go to sleep, sweetheart. Pray for brains.
Rose: We're all employed, Dorothy, except your mother. I wouldn't call that massive.
Dorothy: Good night Rose. Go to sleep, sweetheart. Pray for brains.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Rose: [The robbers] were probably looking for drugs.
Dorothy: We have Maalox and estrogen. And how many junkies have gas and hot flashes?
Dorothy: We have Maalox and estrogen. And how many junkies have gas and hot flashes?
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Blanche: Well, this is not the end, I can promise you that. Justice will be done here! I hate criminals. I just hate 'em! Someone's gonna pay for this heinous crime! We're gonna have a good, old-fashioned hangin'! That's right, a hangin'! Only first we'll have a whippin', and then we'll have a hangin'! Nobody takes my mama's jewels without swingin' for it! Nighty-night.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Sophia: [playing Scrabble with Dorothy] I win!
Dorothy: Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. There is no such word as that!
Sophia: There certainly is.
Dorothy: Fine. I'll look it up, and if it isn't in the dictionary, I win.
Sophia: We don't have a dictionary.
Dorothy: Yes we do.
Sophia: Not anymore, the robbers took it.
Dorothy: They stole our dictionary?
Sophia: That's right. Too bad.
Dorothy: Ma, "disdam" is not a word! You made it up.
Sophia: It's a word!
Dorothy: Fine. Use it in a sentence.
Sophia: [pauses] You're no good at disdam game!
Dorothy: Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. There is no such word as that!
Sophia: There certainly is.
Dorothy: Fine. I'll look it up, and if it isn't in the dictionary, I win.
Sophia: We don't have a dictionary.
Dorothy: Yes we do.
Sophia: Not anymore, the robbers took it.
Dorothy: They stole our dictionary?
Sophia: That's right. Too bad.
Dorothy: Ma, "disdam" is not a word! You made it up.
Sophia: It's a word!
Dorothy: Fine. Use it in a sentence.
Sophia: [pauses] You're no good at disdam game!
TV Show: The Golden Girls