The Golden Girls Quotes
Dorothy: Oh, Blanche, you did a pretty good job focusing this for Rose, and for me. I have to admit, you would have made a very good psychologist.
Sophia: Great idea, pussycat. Give Blanche an office with a couch and a license to charge by the hour.
Sophia: Great idea, pussycat. Give Blanche an office with a couch and a license to charge by the hour.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Dorothy: Oh, a student pays attention, works hard, gets good grades. Does that make him a geek?
Kevin: Uh, no, that makes him a dork. Geek is more like, y'know, somebody with no friends, stays home every Saturday night, nose always buried in a book.
Dorothy: [to Sophia, who is opening her mouth to speak] One word out of you and I'll cut off your supply of Metamucil.
Kevin: Uh, no, that makes him a dork. Geek is more like, y'know, somebody with no friends, stays home every Saturday night, nose always buried in a book.
Dorothy: [to Sophia, who is opening her mouth to speak] One word out of you and I'll cut off your supply of Metamucil.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Dorothy: [signing Kevin's cast] We'll just change this to Miss Zbornack eats shit-ake mushrooms.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Sophia: [about Stan] It means that ever since he made a fortune on that baked potato opener, he's been coming onto you like Gang Busters and I don't like it. Not that I've ever actually seen Gang Busters. But I did see Ghostbusters , I didn't like that either. I mean, they couldn't give the black guy one funny line? And how about that sequel!
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Blanche: I'm sorry, but I refuse to believe you have ever read a scientific journal.
Rose: [getting up to leave the kitchen] Believe what you want. See if I care. [muttering while going and opening the door] Hypersexual bitch. [Dorothy looks taken by surprise and Blanche awkwardly swallows her drink. Both look in the door's direction.]
Rose: [getting up to leave the kitchen] Believe what you want. See if I care. [muttering while going and opening the door] Hypersexual bitch. [Dorothy looks taken by surprise and Blanche awkwardly swallows her drink. Both look in the door's direction.]
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Dorothy: Blanche, I need to talk to you privately.
Blanche: Okay.
Dorothy: There's this person, someone I've known for quite a while, and lately there seems to be this attraction developing. An attraction I've been trying to deny-- Blanche, what are you doing?
[Blanche immediately gets up out her chair and backs away in horror]
Blanche: It's a curse. My beauty's always been a curse. I'm sorry, Dorothy, but like the fatal blossom of the graceful jimson weed, I entice with my fragrance but can provide no succor.
Dorothy: I'm talking about Stanley, you idiot!
Blanche: Get outta here! Stan has the hots for me?
Dorothy: For me, not you, fatal blossom, for me.
Blanche: Okay.
Dorothy: There's this person, someone I've known for quite a while, and lately there seems to be this attraction developing. An attraction I've been trying to deny-- Blanche, what are you doing?
[Blanche immediately gets up out her chair and backs away in horror]
Blanche: It's a curse. My beauty's always been a curse. I'm sorry, Dorothy, but like the fatal blossom of the graceful jimson weed, I entice with my fragrance but can provide no succor.
Dorothy: I'm talking about Stanley, you idiot!
Blanche: Get outta here! Stan has the hots for me?
Dorothy: For me, not you, fatal blossom, for me.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Blanche: A woman has the option to say no. Honey, you weren't given that option. You were given nitrous oxide.
Sophia: Blanche, when have you ever said "no?"
Blanche: Did I say there was gonna be a question and answer period after I spoke?
Sophia: Blanche, when have you ever said "no?"
Blanche: Did I say there was gonna be a question and answer period after I spoke?
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Dorothy: Ma, you actually went to a convent? Why didn't I know that?
Sophia: Because you're divorced. Technically, in the eyes of the Church, you don't even exist! I spit on you! Unless Sister would like to spit on you first.
Sophia: Because you're divorced. Technically, in the eyes of the Church, you don't even exist! I spit on you! Unless Sister would like to spit on you first.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Dorothy: I'm her daughter Dorothy. You'll have to excuse my mother. She suffered a slight stroke a few years ago which rendered her totally annoying.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Dorothy: Can you believe what we just heard.
Blanche: I can't believe anybody would want to be a nun. I mean, "NUN", the word says it.
Blanche: I can't believe anybody would want to be a nun. I mean, "NUN", the word says it.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Mother Superior: Well Dorothy I bet you love your mother very much.
Dorothy: Well that all depends, what has she done?
Dorothy: Well that all depends, what has she done?
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Mother Superior: I think life here is too structured for her.
Dorothy: I don't follow.
Mother Superior: Your mother is an old stubborn pack mule of a woman who won't follow the rules!
Dorothy: Now I'm with you.
Dorothy: I don't follow.
Mother Superior: Your mother is an old stubborn pack mule of a woman who won't follow the rules!
Dorothy: Now I'm with you.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Blanche: [turns around, seductive]Hello... Oh my God, no! [runs around the table and hides behind Dorothy]
Rose: All right, so he's not a 10!
George: Blanche, honey, please!
Blanche: Oh my God, what in hell? Why do you look like that? I don't believe this!
Dorothy: Blanche! Blanche! Who is this?
Blanche: If I didn't know better, I would say my dead husband George! [runs out of the restaurant]
Dorothy: George, we've heard so much about you! [extends hand]
Rose: All right, so he's not a 10!
George: Blanche, honey, please!
Blanche: Oh my God, what in hell? Why do you look like that? I don't believe this!
Dorothy: Blanche! Blanche! Who is this?
Blanche: If I didn't know better, I would say my dead husband George! [runs out of the restaurant]
Dorothy: George, we've heard so much about you! [extends hand]
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Sonny Bono: [after hearing Blanche's problem] Excuse me, I had some experience with marital discord myself.
Blanche: Sonny Bono, get off my lanai!
Blanche: Sonny Bono, get off my lanai!
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Sonny Bono: How many gold records do you have?
Lyle Waggoner: None. I was never married.
Lyle Waggoner: None. I was never married.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Rose: [about Blanche's chance to see her living husband] Tell him you love him. Tell you hate him, I don't care! Just see him before he leaves. Do it for yourself. Do it for all of us who wish we had the chance.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Blanche: Y'know, usually I feel so empty when I realize George isn't here, but this time it's different.
Dorothy: How?
Blanche: Well, I don't know. The dream was diff- oh, wait. [smiles] I got to hug him. [gasps] You know how I always wake up before I get to hug George? This time I didn't.
Rose: Oh Blanche, that's wonderful!
Blanche: It was wonderful, Rose.
Dorothy: How?
Blanche: Well, I don't know. The dream was diff- oh, wait. [smiles] I got to hug him. [gasps] You know how I always wake up before I get to hug George? This time I didn't.
Rose: Oh Blanche, that's wonderful!
Blanche: It was wonderful, Rose.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Sophia: I...I love you. [waits for response; Tony doesn't respond] I said...I love you.
Tony: Thank you.
Sophia: And you?
Tony: I care for you.
Sophia: You care for me?
Tony: Yes, very much. I probably should've said that sooner. Oh well, let's get some sleep. [turns off light, Sophia hits him until he turns it back on]
Tony: What?
Sophia: You care for me? You care for a cat or a dog, or a goat. But I tell you I love you and you tell me you care for me? [gets out of bed]
Tony: Now, Sophia, I--I care for you very much.
Sophia: I'm going home, don't bother driving me.
Tony: Now Sophia, can't we talk?
Sophia: Don't even say my name. I reached out for you. If you didn't love me, how the hell could you make love to me?! I never want to see or hear from you again! [storms out of Tony's apartment]
Tony: Thank you.
Sophia: And you?
Tony: I care for you.
Sophia: You care for me?
Tony: Yes, very much. I probably should've said that sooner. Oh well, let's get some sleep. [turns off light, Sophia hits him until he turns it back on]
Tony: What?
Sophia: You care for me? You care for a cat or a dog, or a goat. But I tell you I love you and you tell me you care for me? [gets out of bed]
Tony: Now, Sophia, I--I care for you very much.
Sophia: I'm going home, don't bother driving me.
Tony: Now Sophia, can't we talk?
Sophia: Don't even say my name. I reached out for you. If you didn't love me, how the hell could you make love to me?! I never want to see or hear from you again! [storms out of Tony's apartment]
TV Show: The Golden Girls
[Rose is excitedly telling the girls about an episode of "The New Lassie"]
Dorothy: Rose, did I mention I cry every Thursday? [looks at watch] At 8: 05. [voice breaking] Excuse me! [she leaves the kitchen]
Dorothy: Rose, did I mention I cry every Thursday? [looks at watch] At 8: 05. [voice breaking] Excuse me! [she leaves the kitchen]
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Rose: I just got a special delivery letter from St. Olaf! Uh-oh, it's from the Department of Water and Coffee.
Dorothy: Coffee?
Rose: No thanks, it makes me jumpy.
Dorothy: Rose, what does the letter say?
Rose: You read it, Dorothy. I need both hands to cover my ears in case it's bad news.
Dorothy: [reading] "Dear St. Olafian, I am afraid there's bad news."
Rose: [fingers in her ears] What?
Dorothy: [reading] "There's a drought in St. Olaf which threatens the crops."
Rose: Oh, no! I'd better send water.
Dorothy: [reading] "Please do not send water. We have found that envelopes leak. Until the rains come, we ask that all citizens be celibate, except for Ulf the Umbrella King; he has suffered enough."
Dorothy: Coffee?
Rose: No thanks, it makes me jumpy.
Dorothy: Rose, what does the letter say?
Rose: You read it, Dorothy. I need both hands to cover my ears in case it's bad news.
Dorothy: [reading] "Dear St. Olafian, I am afraid there's bad news."
Rose: [fingers in her ears] What?
Dorothy: [reading] "There's a drought in St. Olaf which threatens the crops."
Rose: Oh, no! I'd better send water.
Dorothy: [reading] "Please do not send water. We have found that envelopes leak. Until the rains come, we ask that all citizens be celibate, except for Ulf the Umbrella King; he has suffered enough."
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Tony: [in bed with Sophia] Where does a sweet Sicilian girl like you learn how to do those things?
Sophia: I live with a slut.
Tony: Thank her for me.
Sophia: I live with a slut.
Tony: Thank her for me.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Sophia: [on Tony] Last night I dreamed I was Joan of Arc and he was coming at me with a hose!
Dorothy: Ma, maybe it was just a religious experience dream.
Blanche: Did he put out the fire?
Sophia: Three times.
Blanche: Wow, the seldom-achieved Joan of Arc Fantasy Triple! Sophia, I hate you.
Dorothy: Ma, maybe it was just a religious experience dream.
Blanche: Did he put out the fire?
Sophia: Three times.
Blanche: Wow, the seldom-achieved Joan of Arc Fantasy Triple! Sophia, I hate you.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Blanche: All right girls, I want to present Blanche Devereaux's latest creation... I took an 84-year-old woman and made her look like a 65 year old drag queen! Then I said to myself, "Blanche, too much rouge."
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Sophia: What if I got gorgeous for nothing? What if Tony doesn't even notice me?
Blanche: Well, that's his hard luck. There are other fish in the sea.
Sophia: Yeah, and all the ones my age are floating on the top!
Blanche: Well, that's his hard luck. There are other fish in the sea.
Sophia: Yeah, and all the ones my age are floating on the top!
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Dorothy: Now Ma, remember, don't do anything I wouldn't do.
Sophia: I think I crossed that line when I had a date.
Sophia: I think I crossed that line when I had a date.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Miles: I hope you're ready for a swell time Rose.
Rose: [Who has to stay celibate until water comes in St Olaf ] Sure just give me a minute. [Goes to Blanche] What if he wants to go back to his place?
Blanche: Tell him you have a lot of work to do at home.
Rose: I don't wanna lie.
Blanche: When you get home I'll make you clean out the garage.
Rose: Thanks Blanche, I owe you one.
Rose: [Who has to stay celibate until water comes in St Olaf ] Sure just give me a minute. [Goes to Blanche] What if he wants to go back to his place?
Blanche: Tell him you have a lot of work to do at home.
Rose: I don't wanna lie.
Blanche: When you get home I'll make you clean out the garage.
Rose: Thanks Blanche, I owe you one.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Blanche: [deceitfully posing Sophia as her grandmother] Bringing along a chaperon is an old Southern tradition. Grammy here's been with me since I was a child. She's the one who taught me how to put up peach preserves and make my own clothes.
Sophia: We was po'.
Blanche: Yes but we Southerners stick together.
Sophia: We sho' do.
Sophia: We was po'.
Blanche: Yes but we Southerners stick together.
Sophia: We sho' do.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Blanche: All right, WHO or WHAT ate the heel off of one of my new red pumps?!
Rose: [attempting to take the blame for Bingo] I did.
Rose: [attempting to take the blame for Bingo] I did.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Sophia: [posing as Blanche's grandmother] Well, mercy me! Looks like my little magnolia just turned into a big ho.
TV Show: The Golden Girls