The Hangover Part II Quotes
Stu Price: [to the lyrics of Allentown]Well, we're living here in Alan Town / And he's driven our lives into the ground / When we woke up we were wasted and drunk / Phil got shot... / We got beaten by a monk... / I was happy and my life was good / Getting married like a dentist should / Roasting marshmallows on a stick / I got fucked in the ass... / By a girl with a dick...
Alan: Ha ha ha, I remember that.
Stu Price: And we're living here in Alan Town / But they're taking Teddy's finger now... / And I'm pretty sure I'm gonna lose my shit /... and shoot Alan in the face /... and shoot myself.
Alan: You totally butchered that song.
Stu Price: You totally butchered my life.
Alan: Ha ha ha, I remember that.
Stu Price: And we're living here in Alan Town / But they're taking Teddy's finger now... / And I'm pretty sure I'm gonna lose my shit /... and shoot Alan in the face /... and shoot myself.
Alan: You totally butchered that song.
Stu Price: You totally butchered my life.
Movie: The Hangover Part II
Alan: My uncle Roger says he saw an albino polar bear once.
Stu Price: Really? Polar bears are white, how did he know it was albino?
Alan: This one was black.
Stu Price: Uh, are you sure it wasn't a black bear?
Alan: [after thinking]Whatevs.
Stu Price: Really? Polar bears are white, how did he know it was albino?
Alan: This one was black.
Stu Price: Uh, are you sure it wasn't a black bear?
Alan: [after thinking]Whatevs.
Movie: The Hangover Part II
Stu Price: YOU'RE THE BEARDED DEVIL!
Alan: You liked it! You smiled at me when I held up the bag of marshmallows!
Stu Price: BECAUSE I LIKE MARSHMALLOWS, YOU FUCKING PSYCHO!
Alan: You liked it! You smiled at me when I held up the bag of marshmallows!
Stu Price: BECAUSE I LIKE MARSHMALLOWS, YOU FUCKING PSYCHO!
Movie: The Hangover Part II
Alan: [confused upon seeing a naked hermaphrodite]I don't get it. Is this a magic show?
Movie: The Hangover Part II
Stu Price: Woah! Here's the deal man, I got a dark side. There's a demon in me.
Alan: It's true, he has semen in him.
Stu Price: I said demon.
Alan: But you also have semen in you remember, from the...
Stu Price: It's not relevant, but thank you Alan.
Alan: It's true, he has semen in him.
Stu Price: I said demon.
Alan: But you also have semen in you remember, from the...
Stu Price: It's not relevant, but thank you Alan.
Movie: The Hangover Part II
Mr. Chow: What's the matter, you never do blow before? Sometimes your heart stop, it start up again. Read a book.
Movie: The Hangover Part II
Mr. Chow: I do blow all night. Monkey jerk me off while I watch Stu make fuck with lady-boy.
Movie: The Hangover Part II
Phil: Your password is baloney1?
Mr. Chow: Well, used to be just baloney, but now they make you add number.
Mr. Chow: Well, used to be just baloney, but now they make you add number.
Movie: The Hangover Part II
Alan: So what, are you a doctor?
Teddy: No, not yet, I'm pre-med.
Alan: Ever heard of that guy, Doogie Howser?
Teddy: Yea?
Alan: Well, he turned out to be a gay!
Doug: Alan!
Alan: It's true, I read it in Teen People.
Teddy: No, not yet, I'm pre-med.
Alan: Ever heard of that guy, Doogie Howser?
Teddy: Yea?
Alan: Well, he turned out to be a gay!
Doug: Alan!
Alan: It's true, I read it in Teen People.
Movie: The Hangover Part II
Phil: You wouldn't even be with her if it wasn't for us!
Stu Price: Oh, this will be good!
Phil: Stu, think about it! You ended up ditching Melissa... two years later, you met your true soulmate. You take Vegas out of that equation, you would've married a cunt! [Old couple looks over and gives Phil dirty looks]
Phil: Oh, it's ok... No, I'm allowed to say it, it's a bachelor party. Drink up everybody! Oh wait, there's no alcohol. I forgot, we're at a fuckin' Ihop!
Stu Price: Oh, this will be good!
Phil: Stu, think about it! You ended up ditching Melissa... two years later, you met your true soulmate. You take Vegas out of that equation, you would've married a cunt! [Old couple looks over and gives Phil dirty looks]
Phil: Oh, it's ok... No, I'm allowed to say it, it's a bachelor party. Drink up everybody! Oh wait, there's no alcohol. I forgot, we're at a fuckin' Ihop!
Movie: The Hangover Part II
Stu Price: Oh my God! We kidnapped a monk!
Alan: We live an alternative lifestyle.
Alan: We live an alternative lifestyle.
Movie: The Hangover Part II
Kimmy: This one was following me like little puppy dog all around, all night, saying that he fall in love with me, asked to marry me.
Alan: Classic Stu.
Kimmy: I dance for him, he tickle me, we have sex...
Phil: You're not married yet it's no big deal.
Stu Price: It's cheating. No offense to you, you're a lovely woman, it's a violation of my moral code.
Kimmy: What code is that? Stu you loved it, you were crying saying how special it was. I had to slow down so I didn't drop my load too quick.
Stu Price: Load?
Alan: What load?
Kimmy: Oh you know, my sperm.
Stu Price: That is wrong, you're talking about my sperm. Where would your sperm come from?
Kimmy: My balls. You're in Bangkok, there's a reason they don't call it Bangcunt!
Alan: Classic Stu.
Kimmy: I dance for him, he tickle me, we have sex...
Phil: You're not married yet it's no big deal.
Stu Price: It's cheating. No offense to you, you're a lovely woman, it's a violation of my moral code.
Kimmy: What code is that? Stu you loved it, you were crying saying how special it was. I had to slow down so I didn't drop my load too quick.
Stu Price: Load?
Alan: What load?
Kimmy: Oh you know, my sperm.
Stu Price: That is wrong, you're talking about my sperm. Where would your sperm come from?
Kimmy: My balls. You're in Bangkok, there's a reason they don't call it Bangcunt!
Movie: The Hangover Part II
Mr. Chow: I got all kindsa heat on my ass. I got FBI, Bangkok PD, Interpol, MSNBC...
Movie: The Hangover Part II
Phil: Wait a second Chow. We're in Bangkok?
Mr. Chow: Holla! City of Squala!
Mr. Chow: Holla! City of Squala!
Movie: The Hangover Part II
Stu Price: We're looking for a little kid.
Samir: Two thousand dollars
Stu Price: Huh?
Samir: Maybe more, I don't know. How young you want this kid to be?
Samir: Two thousand dollars
Stu Price: Huh?
Samir: Maybe more, I don't know. How young you want this kid to be?
Movie: The Hangover Part II
Mr. Chow: [Following a harrowing car chase]I have such an erection right now!
Movie: The Hangover Part II
Grand Wizard: Perhaps you should bring your question to the Garden of Meditation.
Phil: Did you understand a word he just said?
Stu Price: Yeah I understood about two thirds. He said something about the Garden of Meditation.
Alan: No he said he's farting because of his medication.
Phil: Did you understand a word he just said?
Stu Price: Yeah I understood about two thirds. He said something about the Garden of Meditation.
Alan: No he said he's farting because of his medication.
Movie: The Hangover Part II
Mr. Chow: [upon his arrest]How the fuck? [Samir walks in]
Mr. Chow: Samir! You fuck me over 6 grand, you camel jockey? [spits]
Samir: You spit to me? Huh? You spit to me? Hey! 6 grand this time, 8 grand last time. It's not the money, man. It's the principle!
Mr. Chow: Principle? Nigga, please! We both dead inside.
Samir: You call me nigger? Huh? Don't call me nigger!
Mr. Chow: [as the cops take him away]Toodle-loo, motherfuckers!
Samir: Racist asshole, man.
Mr. Chow: Samir! You fuck me over 6 grand, you camel jockey? [spits]
Samir: You spit to me? Huh? You spit to me? Hey! 6 grand this time, 8 grand last time. It's not the money, man. It's the principle!
Mr. Chow: Principle? Nigga, please! We both dead inside.
Samir: You call me nigger? Huh? Don't call me nigger!
Mr. Chow: [as the cops take him away]Toodle-loo, motherfuckers!
Samir: Racist asshole, man.
Movie: The Hangover Part II
Alan: [to Teddy]Sit down i got this. Sit down boy. That was a great speech sir. I like the comparisons between uh Stu and Rice. I've also prepared a few words. Hew everybody here are some fun facts. The population in Thailand is 63 million people. It is twice the size of Wyoming. It's chief exports are textiles, footwear, and rice. Each year approximately 13,000 people are killed in car accidents in Thailand. The climate in Thailand is...
Doug: Alan why don't you skip to the last card there buddy
Alan: Ok, sorry. [Flips through about 5 or 6 cards]
Alan: None of you know Stu like I do. Not you, not you, not you, not you, not nobody knows Stu like i do. No one. I can't even tell you what we've been through because we made a pact more important than blood. What i can tell you is this, this is not Stu's first marriage. There was a whore in Las Vegas a couple years ago...
Phil: All right time's up. You can sit down now bud. You can sit down.
Alan: It was good. I did good though.
Phil: Oh God you killed it.
Alan: OK thanks Phil.
Alan: Sit down, yeah [applause]
Alan: [to Teddy]In your face.
Doug: Alan why don't you skip to the last card there buddy
Alan: Ok, sorry. [Flips through about 5 or 6 cards]
Alan: None of you know Stu like I do. Not you, not you, not you, not you, not nobody knows Stu like i do. No one. I can't even tell you what we've been through because we made a pact more important than blood. What i can tell you is this, this is not Stu's first marriage. There was a whore in Las Vegas a couple years ago...
Phil: All right time's up. You can sit down now bud. You can sit down.
Alan: It was good. I did good though.
Phil: Oh God you killed it.
Alan: OK thanks Phil.
Alan: Sit down, yeah [applause]
Alan: [to Teddy]In your face.
Movie: The Hangover Part II
Phil: Do you ever do anything that doesn't end in a stand-off, Chow?
Mr. Chow: I a international criminal. It always ends like this. I met my wife at one of these things.
Stu Price: You have a wife?
Mr. Chow: Yeah, we married fifteen years. Whatsa matter, Mr. Chow not good-looking enough for woman?
Mr. Chow: I a international criminal. It always ends like this. I met my wife at one of these things.
Stu Price: You have a wife?
Mr. Chow: Yeah, we married fifteen years. Whatsa matter, Mr. Chow not good-looking enough for woman?
Movie: The Hangover Part II